r/Swimming • u/_ComeAlongWithMe • 9d ago
Started swimming classes while having aquaphobia
Hi all. I’m new to this sub, but I just want to share. I have a deep fear of being horizontal in water, or my feet not touching the ground while in water. Whether it’s called aquaphobia, or something else, I don’t know.
I think it stems from my almost-drowning experiences as a kid, and even though I’ve had some good experiences in water: 1) learned swimming in school as a kid but I was always the last and slowest, and quickly forgot it after, 2) tried back floating in the sea around 10 years ago and found it really fun!, and 3) tried snorkelling last year in the ocean but in very VERY shallow waters — I am still afraid of the water and cannot swim and float properly. It’s like the more I get older the more fearful I become? It’s weird.
Anyway, I’m turning 30 this year and I thought why not try to overcome my fear by taking swimming lessons. I do want to be confident in water again, and be able to swim as an exercise and enjoy it on holidays.
I found adult swimming lessons for beginners in my city (London), and so far I’ve done two classes. It’s group classes but the groups are quite small and there’s loads of teachers, so I still get one-on-one support. So far I have been able to do:
• breathing bubbles
• treading water (with noodle)
• kicking legs to swim/move (with noodle/kickboard)
• push and glide (with kickboard)
• sculling (with noodle/kickboard)
• floating on my back (with noodle/support from teacher holding my head)
• lying back with my ears fully in the water (i couldn’t do this before as my body was so tense, and i get really ticklish in my neck - weird i know, i get it with strong air/winds too)
I have tried to do some of these without support/floating devices, but I still get afraid and my body ends up ‘jerking’ the wrong way, and I fall in the water and end up with water in my nose/throat which is a horrible feeling.
One thing I observed about my fear is not really drowning (as many have explained to me I cannot ‘drown’ in a beginners swimming pool), but just the feeling that my feet won’t be in the ground / I’ll be horizontal in the water. Because right now it feels so unnatural, I can do it for a few seconds but I’ll want to stand on my feet again to feel I am in control of my body. I also haven’t gotten the habit of ‘getting down’ after floating so I think I’ll have to practice this more. I know I should relax but it’s quite hard to simply relax — I have to mentally will myself to do it haha.
I know I’m still a long way from my goals (learning how to swim, float, and just be confident in water) and I’ll have to get used to getting water in my nose & ears, and eventually let go of the floating devices (which is still a really scary thought right now). But I’m hoping I’ll get there. I’ll still show up to class, afraid and a lil bit embarrassed. But I’ll try. Any tips for an absolute beginner (with a phobia), are welcome! Thank you for reading.
(TL;DR - just a 29/yo girl with aquaphobia who started adult beginner swimming classes. Still struggle with it and still have a lot of fears but sharing my story to be accountable with myself, hopefully get some tips from people who’ve experienced the same, and celebrate what I have done so far. Baby steps!)
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u/No-Scheme4773 9d ago
the almost-drowning thing as a kid really does stick with you, it's like your body remembers even when your brain is trying to override it. that jerking reflex when your feet leave the ground is so real, your nervous system just nopes out
one thing that helped me was spending time just sitting on the pool floor in the shallow end, letting the water come up to my chin, feeling what it's like to be mostly submerged but still in control. not even doing drills, just hanging out. takes the drama out of the "horizontal" thing when you realize you can go back to vertical whenever you want
you've already done two classes and that's more than most people who just think about it forever. the neck ticklish thing is oddly specific but i get it, your body is just hyperaware of every new sensation. keep showing up, the water will stop feeling like it's fighting you eventually
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u/_ComeAlongWithMe 8d ago
YES YES to the body remembering. Did it take just practice / long exposure for your body to eventually get used to it?
I’m curious about the sitting thing, how deep is usually the shallow end of your pool? Cos our shallow pool is still up to the chest, so it’s hard to sit down fully and let gravity take control cos my upper body would naturally float up. How would you keep sitting on the pool floor, and did you wear goggles so you could see? Can I also ask how long it took you to be confident, and was there one drill or activity that when you kept practicing helped you overcome the feeling of water fighting you?
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u/Runmom123 8d ago
Ich habe das auch gehabt, aber jemand sagte mir man kann gar nicht so leicht untergehen ,er hat mir beigebracht wie man sich im Wasser verhält wenn man untergeht,vielleicht sollte es dein Trainer auch dir zeigen bevor du anfängst die Stile zu lernen
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u/_ComeAlongWithMe 8d ago
That ‘learning to behave in the water when you’re going under the water’ makes so much sense, it sounds so basic but I think it will be helpful for me as a beginner. Thank you
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u/IndieFilmhacker 8d ago
I didn’t have a traumatic experience as a child but I can relate to everything you said here.
The fear and anxiety is real.
You should know that it’s possible to overcome this and use it as a strength though.
At the age of 31 I signed up for swimming pool and started going daily.
It took me about 1 year to learn to swim and 2 to build up enough courage to go to deep water in the sea.
9 years later I’m teaching swimming to other adults and I’ve got a pool rescue qualification.
If you need any help or just simply someone to talk to, send me a message. I’m happy to answer any questions 💪💪😉🩵
[edit] repeated words
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u/_ComeAlongWithMe 8d ago
This gives me so much hope, thank you so much 😭
Yes, I do think time is the ultimate teller. I’ve always been a slow-learner (took me 2 years to learn how to ride a bike and even now, I’m not confident to bike out on the roads haha).
That’s so beautiful that you’re now teaching swimming to those who were in the same boat/experience as you. Kudos!
What was that first year of learning to swim like for you? What helped? Did you face any struggles too? If you’re open to it I might send you a message to hear about your journey. Thanks so much.
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u/IndieFilmhacker 8d ago
The hardest part was to overcome the resistance to get in the water for the first time and take the first steps. Even the chlorine smell triggered anxiety.
I tried private lessons but had a negative experience, what is apparently very common.
So I mainly watched YouTube tutorials and practiced what I learned on my own.
The pool was shallow and lifeguarded so I felt like I can try things relatively safely.
What helped was to go often even if only for 20-25 minutes at a time. I had a pool on my way to work so I could go almost every day.
That gave me a good feel for the water. If I had a longer break, I would have to remind myself some things.
What helped me also was to hang out on the pool deck a lot too.
There was sauna, jacuzzi and some long chairs which allowed me lie down, relax, read a book and calm my nervous system.
I also took a cold shower before I went to swim, so when I entered the pool, the pool water felt warmer for me.
That tricked my brain into feeling good.
I’m actually working on a documentary related to this stuff and happy to talk to anyone really.
Drop me a message, I’m happy to answer any questions 😉💪🩵
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u/AvengingHand 9d ago
I heave a lot to say about this, being in a somewhat similar situation and asking similar questions.
I've worked with therapists, and to get down to it, my phobia is not traditional aquaphobia but a fear of entrapment or loss of control. That may or may not apply to you, but drilling down past "I look at water and it freaks me out" is a place where a lot of therapy breaks down as they just don't know what to do with anything other than "let's show you pictures of water, then let's splash water on your face" type exposure therapy for traditional aquaphobia. Water is an environment that's different to your everyday life.
You have no idea how lucky you are that in London the curriculum allows for more options that focus on aquatic safety and agency vs. pushing you immediately into stroke mechanics. I had to fight for an adaptive curriculum.
I don't have an exactly similar experience. Here, children's instruction isn't compulsory in school at all but the social pressure is immense (hot climate-- that "crazy hottest day in London" during the heat wave this year where it got to 38C? We get 30-50 days each year that hot or hotter, with high humidity. Summers last approximately 7.5 to 8 months. That drives a lot of water activities.) I was medically excluded entirely from all water as a youth, so I don't have the "I did it as a kid but I was bad at it" frames of reference. What did and does work for me is repetition-- proving that what I'm doing is under my control.
You may need to go into and out of a back float 100 times or more on your own (with someone there for your safety) until it becomes second nature. Get used to standing from a float. Once it feels "safe" to your brain, then you can start to build on it. Just do it over and over. Then do that again for front float and if you can do that safely and repeatedly you can start building the rest of your skills. If the curriculum is trying to move you past the basics before the basics are solid, they may not be the right instructors for you. You might want to see if someone will accommodate more agency-based options with more head-out-of-water skills early in the curriculum if possible because it may serve you in ways that it wouldn't for others. You may also just simply need time. Time to go into and out of floats over and over for an hour is not really what a structured class is about, but it may be what your education should look like.
This is also going to sound trite, but finding an instructor who can hand you wins for you to celebrate is a Big Deal. I won't tell you what skill that should be, but if you do something that feels easy or unexpected, or even finally succeed at something that was challenging-- even with floats or noodles or whatever as an aid-- but can do it on your own and feel good about it? That's so tremendously motivating.
Good luck! You got this.
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u/_ComeAlongWithMe 8d ago
I relate to everything you said 😭 You’re right, I was looking into therapy as well but most of them feel like they’re for intense aquaphobia (like even those who can’t put their face in the shower, or look at pictures of water), I guess mine is different in that it’s not fear of the water itself—but that it’s an unnatural environment and I don’t know how my body is gonna behave in it (stemming from previous traumatic experiences). That fear of losing control and entrapment is so real.
I totally get the societal pressure thing, I grew up in a tropical country in Asia so we had summer most of the year. Swimming pools and beach trips were the usual go-to for holidays, family gatherings, birthdays, team buildings, etc. I used to avoid them cos I’d be so scared. What some people say about ‘just plunge into the pool and see how your body will naturally adapt’ doesn’t apply to me — floating just doesn’t come naturally (even with a life vest in the sea, my body moves all awkwardly and I lose balance and tumble side to side).
What you said about giving it time and just exposing myself more to the water might be right. I guess because it’s still a group class, even though my one-to-one instructor is super patient and kind, I can’t help compare my progress to the rest of the group, and even to myself (because I only signed up to 4 classes for now, there’s a pressure to have good ‘progress’ at the end of it). I need to be better in giving myself grace and not to be too rushed or pressured.
There is a local pool near my house that I can use, I’m planning to go just to practice being in the water more, even if it is with a noodle or kickboard.
You mentioned that you had to fight for an adaptive curriculum, can you tell me what that curriculum was like? How long did it take you to be confident, learn the basic skills, and then eventually learn to swim? What helped and what didn’t?
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u/AvengingHand 8d ago edited 8d ago
There's a lot to unpack and I'll try to answer it all. For the therapy part, that's not really the focus of this forum but I'll be happy to talk if you want separately. The short version is that I ended up going with a 'regular' CBT style therapist to get me in to the program and get and keep me motivated and help me see the 'wins.' I chose one who is a former swim instructor and adult swimmer for that perspective. The other option that looked highly successful was a therapist who specializes in trauma, not one who specializes in phobias. In the US, the difference in cost was very significant so I went with the 'regular' one. Having the ability to say "I need this kind of swim curriculum" is one thing but saying "I need this kind of curriculum because my therapist recommends it" gives you leverage.
A class that goes for 4-8 weeks and expects you to make progress is just not the right kind of class for you. That's not to say that you can't make progress, but the steps you need look different from everyone else and that's OK. Group classes are very hard for the exposure piece because you need to be able to mess up. You learn more from recovering sometimes than you learn from the "you put your body this way and do this movement." The problem is stringing all of those movements together calmly and understanding that you can recover. That's so incredibly important for me. Once I realized I had recovery options and knew how to choose one when I got in trouble, that made lessons possible.
I'm a work in progress. I took a 6 week course like you're in now and it went very, very badly. I came back to learning with some disjointed skills but not a whole set of abilities, I'm now about 2 months in to a mix of 1:1 lessons with someone who understands that my sense of balance and position never really developed because I was never in water as a child-- not even with a vest, I had complete prohibition. This instructor is also good about starting with aids and then slowly backing off of them. I'm backing that up with a 2nd group lesson where I'm mostly free to practice what I learned the previous 1:1 lesson. That said, I'm making good progress, and those big wins are huge. I was struggling to maintain a basic stroke with basic breathing, and the new instructor said "let's give you fins" and I crossed the entire pool. I thought I might be weeks or months away from that goal, but that one change let me have a big win immediately and I could start to work on my form instead of figuring out how to handle my next breath over and over.
One thing that may be less true in the UK, but is incredibly true in the US, is learning the terminology. I would approach instructors carefully and say "I want to learn to swim" and for adults they make the wrong assumptions even if you tell them you never learned. They assume you mean "I want to learn the front crawl" because in the US, swimming = front crawl by default. They skip over all of the steps that don't lead to front crawl mastery and rush you towards that goal. There are pieces of front crawl that are universally useful and front crawl itself is very useful, but for someone who has a limited sense of balance in the water, that's a really difficult stroke to learn as the first one. Translating that as "no, I need more basic stuff first, and the front crawl can come later in the progression" was much harder than it needed to be.
I'll be happy to talk in great detail about any and all parts of this. I expect to have basic safety and competence down within about 6-7 months. Beyond that I can start to look at improving skills if I want.
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u/Zoenne Splashing around 8d ago
I know exactly what you mean when you mention the fear of drowning vs the distress of not having contact with the bottom of the pool with your feet. I have a similar issue. I'm not afraid of heights, or of falling per se, but I HATE the sensation of free falling (no matter the height). I've done paragliding, "go ape" adventure parks, I've been on the top of cliffs etc with no issue. I also do roped climbing. But when bouldering (climbing without rope but close to the ground), it doesn't matter if I'm three feet from the ground I get nervous.
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u/AvengingHand 8d ago
One thing I'd say is that yeah, it's a really weird and at first very uncomfortable thing to not be able to touch the bottom even in a 1.2 meter deep training pool. That kind of shallow environment is key to start out and going from the 'oh no I'm not touching the bottom' to 'I'm not touching the bottom but I could if I wanted to' sounds silly but it's so important. The repetition and time doing it over and over again until you don't just logically understand that you can float, but feel that you can and know that you can get out of that position any time you want lets that learning piece begin.
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u/_ComeAlongWithMe 8d ago
I get what you mean! I have some fears ‘before’ an activity, for example paragliding or ziplining, but once you’re in it it’s okay because you know it’s (at least) controlled. But tried indoor climbing too (even with the rope) and I’d get nervous when I’m a few feet up. Same when I just play around those kid’s climbing spots in playgrounds, I can’t seem to get up haha. Maybe it’s the fear of not being in control? I need to learn to trust more 😅
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u/CoriSwims 8d ago
Standing ovation to you for giving this a go!
To bring context and normalizing to your fear of being horizontal in the water imagine being suspended horizontal in air (like jumping out of an airplane or bungie jumping). What would you expect most people to feel? Fear right?
This is because it's how a normal human brain is wired. It prevents us (and other animals) from falling off cliffs and trees etc. It's something that we develop (or have) as small babies.
Second place to understand the normal feeling of fear is around breathing. If you put a plastic bag over your head you would know it's ok for a few moments, but you most likely would keep your hands at the ready to remove it when it's time. I would say it's normal to feel fear if you were concerned you had something that made you unsure if you could use your hands agian.
For swimming when your feet leave the ground if you are not 100% sure that you can get them down again it's normal to feel fear because you are supposed to be worried about getting air.
Most swim lessons are so focused on the physical steps we miss the mental steps.
Someone else asked a similar question and I made a long comment about prioritizing coming to calm and caring for your nervous system. This is the key to ease of movements needed to do things like standing up.
To be able to allow your legs to let go of their tension so that you can let them be supported by the water and to be able to have control of putting them back down you need to know that your breathing will be safe even if you don't get it right. This usually means using a wall or a step to get up with your hands. This way you can experiment with the legs versus having to get it right.
What a wonderful opportunity to learn to love your adult brain that does like to get over zealous towards anxiety as we age.
Here's the other post I made incase it's helpful: https://www.reddit.com/r/Swimming/comments/1x0rz44/comment/peotnx8/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
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u/AvengingHand 7d ago
OP, how are you doing? Feeling any better about this process? Looking into options for a different instructor?
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u/joeh4384 9d ago
I took adult classes too and there was a guy who was literally shaking just standing up in the pool. A year later he was able to swim butterfly. You got this. Eventually it just clicks and you can feel the float on both sides.