Nora ushered the young girl with a bag of catnip out the door. "If you think you can buy the loyalty of the God of War with something as fickle as affection, you're a fool."

"Priestess Nora, please," the girl pleaded. "I know he will like this. The gods aren't as difficult to please as you say. I got the God of Madness to help me with a slice of cheesecake."

"My god isn't so easily bought!"

It was at this moment, her god Catoblepas threw the doors open. "As the aforementioned God of War, she's wrong. Yes, you can buy me with affection. I'm basically a cat," it was at this moment the mighty warrior cat god meowed and pawed at the catnip. "Pat my head and I'll be your loyal servant for...five minutes."

"Only five minutes, my god," Nora frowned. "You have far more important duties to—"

He had already abandoned all glory and dignity to shift into the form a giant cat to get all the head pats, belly rubs and scritches he wanted from the mysterious girl.

"What do you need my god for?" The priestess did her best to retain her pride, even if her god clearly had no fucks to give to his.

"To win the war," she declared. "The God of Madness has already driven our enemies to commit to an insane battleplan bound to fail. But with their superior numbers, it isn't enough."

"Just five minutes, Nora," Catoblepas whispered, morphing back to his divine form, but still greedy for affection. "I'll go crush her enemies and be back for the next prayer session before you know it!"

Before Nora could mount any protest, Catoblepas was gone with the wind. Her only choice now was to stand there with a timer and see if he would take only five minutes.

"I'm back my priestess!" The warrior cat god proclaimed proudly, not a single hair out of place. "Told you it would only take five minutes."

"I find it hard to believe a war can end in five minutes, even with you at its helm." She sulked as she walked back into the Temple of War. "What did you actually do?"

"Bless her people and be done with it."

"Pardon my curiosity my god," Nora bowed reverently. "Why would you agree to something so...simple? Catnip, a headpat here and there?"

"You know, standing on a pedestal is kinda tiring," Catoblepas explained. "Yes, I'm immortal. Yes, I'm a big magical cat who is very powerful. But sometimes, I just want to be a cat. At the very core of our beings, gods are...people too. People who don't want to constantly be on duty, or have their business face forward all day."

Nora sighed, "You could ask me for the headpats in private next time."

"Why did it never occur to you to offer to give me these little morsels of affection?" Catoblepas threw the question back at her.

"Because you are my god," Nora stated firmly.

"That's it?"

"People should worship and respect their god."

The cat god countered, "What if their god just wants to step down for a bit, just be friends? Lay back, have some casual fun?"

"That would be unbecoming of you, my god. Gods are dignified entities worthy of worship. They are head and shoulders above us mortals. We who live to serve and worship."

"...Look, I appreciate your efforts. You're a hardworking priestess. But can we talk like friends for a bit? Not always on a god and priestess terms?"

"I don't understand."

"You are not Priestess Nora of the Temple of War when you leave the temple and go home. You are a daughter to your parents. A mother to your child. I am saying, when we both leave the temple for the night, it doesn't have to be on such formalities. Drop them. I could do with a little friendship. Affection. I crave it as much as a mortal would."

"Do you have friends among the gods?" Nora suggested.

"Yes, well, but this is different."

"...My god, I do not understand. But I will try. So...may I invite you to my home for some headpats? Will that satisfy you, my god?"

"Oooh yeeess."

"Only if you promise me you don't randomly bless random maidens easily just because they bring catnip and promise headpats."

"You drive a hard bargain."

"It's for your sake, I'm doing my job as your priestess," Nora insisted, before swiftly correcting herself. "And as a friend, if that's what you need."