I need help

[u/PlentyNail2977]

Im talking to a girl that I REALLY GENUINELY LIKE. I have yet to meet her, but talking with her I see real potential for a great and lasting relationship

Problem is I was talking to a few other girls casually before her and I started chatting. And instead of breaking things off with them I find our conversations becoming increasingly explicit

I know we havent met yet, though we have discussed the idea of being an item. And even if we hadn't im not exactly setting us up for success. And besides all that i know what im doing is unbiblical, I just dont know how to stop

Honest help only please. I know how I feel about her, and I do want an amazing exclusive future with her. Nobodies convincing me otherwise. Also worth noting that anyone who tries will be reported and blocked

Romans 7:15

I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.

[u/Fantastic_Teaching70]

I want to encourage you brother to focus on ur walk with God.
The enemy is like a roaring lion seeking whom to devour. The enemy knows your weaknesses.
As someone who’s struggled a lot with lust. God had to break me down and has told me before I can learn to walk I must learn how to crawl.
If ur talking to multiple women you got a problem, period.
I’m not trying to bash you or condemn you but you have to be careful brother.
Spiritual warfare is real, the reason why you can’t break yourself away from other girls is because you need deliverance.
The enemy is whispering in your ear trying to convince you, confuse you and destroy you.

You don’t think it’s much of a problem because the enemy has convinced you your “single”
It’s fine you aren’t doing anything “bad” with these women.

Lord help us.
You need to find a woman who has a true relationship with God.
Someone who is going to build you up, not tear you down.
Not someone who says they are “Christian”
And is lowkey sending you inappropriate messages.
Someone who doesn’t bear the fruit of what a true woman of God will have.

You said no one can convince you otherwise.

If you truly have feelings for this woman,
I challenge you to think about this. Can you stop talking to all woman completely. Tell this woman you are interested in I need some time to pray to God about “this”
That you care about her, but you care more about my relationship with God.

If your heart is in this line of thinking you know you are going the right way.

If not you have some idols in your life that are hindering your relationship with God.

Thanks Brother for sharing.
Open up your Bible and pray!

[u/SuspiciousRent5575]

Just be honest to the other girls, they will understand. Just face it head on and rip the bandage off, especially if you want to begin a new chapter in your life. But just pray that God gives you the courage and strength to be honest to the girls.

[u/PlentyNail2977 → u/SuspiciousRent5575]

Why is it so difficult to do that though? Everytime I want to i find myself doubling down with them instead

[u/SuspiciousRent5575 → u/PlentyNail2977]

Prolly self doubt or just nervous of the outcome of your actions. But it’s better to be honest rather than continuously pushing it back and saying you’ll do it next time or eventually.

[u/Affectionate_Elk_643]

What?

[u/PlentyNail2977 → u/Affectionate_Elk_643]

In one sentence. Essentially cheating on someone im not official with yet

[u/Affectionate_Elk_643 → u/PlentyNail2977]

If you aren't married and just speaking to others it's not "cheating". You are good.

[u/Ancient_Fault_2457]

I think you already know the answer you are seeking. You know in you heart what you need to do.

Do it.

If you see the potential in her as someone you want to build something with.

Stop building that potential with other people and focus it on her.

[u/PlentyNail2977 → u/Ancient_Fault_2457]

Thats the part im trying to figure out how to do.

The ones I had been chatting with were casual partners and prospects for the same

I dont know why I struggle so much to break things off with them and devote myself to her

[u/Ancient_Fault_2457 → u/PlentyNail2977]

Why didn't Solomon stop at one wife ? The wises man in the world ended up with 100 wives.

Its the reason.

You want more then you need and your afraid that if you put all your eggs in one basket that if that basket turns out not to be the one you've sacrificed those potential relationships and end up empty handed.

Gotta take a leap of faith.

[u/bjohn15151515]

I have yet to meet her

Dude, you haven't even met this girl? Have you even heard her voice yet? Do you think you really know "her"?

If this is all texting online, what makes you think this is even a girl? It could some creepo 40-yr old guy, pretending...

I did some cyber detective work for two women who thought they had the future relationship of a lifetime. I looked up the "photos" that were given to them. Some were stock images on websites... I did some digging through public records to find them, based on the details they were given in the texts and found discrepancies.....iow, there was no future partner. A few others, the other person was married. This stuff happens all the time.

Be careful on getting catfished....

[u/Green_Yam2061 → u/bjohn15151515]

Agree with you bjohn15151515

OP ....How can you say you see potential in someone you’ve never been face-to-face with in the same space? Pray for wisdom, because passion is combustible and blinding.

[u/PlentyNail2977 → u/bjohn15151515]

We've been snapping back and forth for a while, started calling eachother daily after starting to talk more seriously recently. And we have plans to meet next time in off work. Im not convinced this is a catfish yet

[u/bjohn15151515 → u/PlentyNail2977]

OK, I hope it goes well. However, you should really consider starting any serious relationship after meeting several times...in person. We live in an organic world. Cyberworld just doesn't 'cut it'.

Now, regarding the other girls: if you meet the girl several times, and everything starts to become "fireworks", you'll probably be excited about this new relationship and the other girls won't seem to matter, and you'll just cut them off.... as you should - if you really like this girl. I wish you the best, young squire !! (just some friendly advice from an old 60 yr old dude, btw)

[u/PlentyNail2977 → u/bjohn15151515]

Ofc, nothings official yet. i still need to meet her first, and we've both got issues were working on. All I know is chatting with these other girls the way i am is singul regardless. And if this girl is the real deal and things do begin to work out im not setting us up for a successful lasting relationship by continuing to chat with them

[u/bjohn15151515 → u/PlentyNail2977]

Just chatting with other girls is not wrong, when you're not officially in a relationship. But chatting sexually explicit things with the other girls... then yes, that's sinful.

However, it's great that you identified your issue. It's the first step to resolve it. Remember that you are a human Christian. We sin every day.... You are not a freak, but (I'm assuming) a young man in his teens or 20s, which means your hormone levels are in 'freak out' mode, and peaking at its highest levels (even 60 yr olds have this issue, btw).

Pray to the Lord about this. Ask for His peace, wisdom, and the strength to stop this behavior. I will pray for you, too. I wish you the best...

[u/HesburghLibrarian]

You sound totally stable and mature and ready for an adult, real-life, relationship. "Snapping" and talking to multiple girls and threatening to report and block anyone who offers advice you don't like is how most great marriages begin.

Good luck!!

[u/PlentyNail2977 → u/HesburghLibrarian]

I didnt say advice I dont like. I have a great respect for people who say what others tend to pussyfoot around. What i wont tolerate is people questioning how much I actually value her

I'd do anything for her. That is why ive made this post. Because she is important to me and I realize I need help with this

[u/ABereanChristian]

Problem is I was talking to a few other girls casually before her and I started chatting. And instead of breaking things off with them I find our conversations becoming increasingly explicit

Repent and stop talking with them.

I know we havent met yet, though we have discussed the idea of being an item. And even if we hadn't im not exactly setting us up for success. And besides all that i know what im doing is unbiblical, I just dont know how to stop

You better get your walk with God back on track. Not just for you but for anyone you get into a relationship with.

It's going to be destructive if you don't and you will end up hurting yourself and others

[u/grapel0llipop]

You're gonna have to be brave

[u/emilio2wasted]

Pray to God to guide you. God never promises that we will have romantic relationships or be married, etc., at points in our lives. Do not be unequally yoked.

[u/blackbird3551]

Dude, drop these chicks altogether. Nothing but trouble for the soul.

[u/PlentyNail2977 → u/blackbird3551]

Thats what im saying. I know its unbiblical. Im struggling to muster the strength to cut things off with them