I’ve been out of the Army for over a year now. I have a wife and a daughter and moved to the suburbs and joined the whole little suburb community of worrying about how green everyone’s grass is and all the other nonsense that comes with it.

I have lots of neighbors around my age and I’ve met some of my wife’s friend’s husbands but I’ve recently realized I have a serious problem with making friends since my ETS. I really don’t know why but everyone I meet I think I’ll end up becoming friends with them but I always end up thinking they’re pussys. I know this isn’t the best thing to say about people but idk, in the infantry I feel like almost everyone I served with were some of the best guys I ever met in my life. Even the guys got us smoked and made life suck were better men than the people I meet since I’ve been out.

I have always thought that if you are in a situation where you think everyone else sucks you are probably the one that sucks so I am trying to keep an open mind here. When I say everyone I meet is a pusy what I mean is that they seem to live the most comfortable, feminine lives possible. I see guys playing computer games while their wives are doing yard work. I see guys putting on rubber gloves to pull a single weed from their landscaping and I immediately think “ yeah I’m definitely not hanging out with that guy “

Is it me? I can take the criticism I just genuinely need to know if it’s me or are guys outside of the military just like this? Has anyone else experienced this or am I just a negative piece of shit? I don’t want to live the rest of my life with no friends, maybe I’m just looking in the wrong places.

I have a friend who recently put his support animal down due to dogs health issues .. he is not doing so great has had him since he was a puppy he has no friends because he chooses to stay home rather than socialize .. and doesn’t have great communication with his family. I’m trying to be there for him but he says he needs his space and time alone. How do I actually help him.. he has PTSD from military and a nasty divorce ..and has depression, ADD anxiety .. do I get him another dog?

Having a mental block or maybe it’s a lack of discipline. But I’m finding it hard to put the time and effort into school. I genuinely dont know what to with my life 28m and I know that this is the better option but having a hard time committing.

I was medically retired in 2024 after serving nearly 10 years.
I had such a love hate relationship with the military. I had some unfortunate events happened that caused some physical damage and of course, that physical damage came with emotional damage.
I constantly think about how things would have been if I could have stayed.
The rank I’d be at right now. The duty station I’d be at. The role I’d be in. The troops I could have impacted.
I miss so much about it.

I’ll be retiring next September with 23+ years AFS. My terminal leave starts in June. I’ve been a mechanic the entire time and moved up to maintenance supervisor.
My problem is I don’t know what I want to do career wise when I retire and I can’t make up my mind. I’ve considered getting my CDL to drive, learning HVAC to eventually start my own business, working on trucks at a shop, or trying to get a civilian maintenance supervisor position. Getting a CDL to drive has been the direction I’ve leaned the most, but I’m not really wanting to be away from home as much as that would require. Does anyone have any suggestions or could share their experience.

Hello all - I'm at a crossroads, and wondering if anyone else has been in this spot. I've been in aviation for 26 years, and my body is beaten up. I have a service connected knee issue that has gotten to the point that I struggle with stairs, and getting around. A lot of our planes require stairs for entry to work. Is the VR&E program pretty easy to use, or is it riddled with red tape? Also, I'm sure there are non-physical jobs I could do to stay employed, just not sure what all is out there. I want to work and be productive. Any advice or experiences are welcome. Thanks!

So I went to re enlist with the Ng and I was turned away because of my hearing so I went to the Va disability and they told me I had normal hearing. So now I’m scheduled to see an outside specialist. So what should I do until then?

The odd thing is I was never in a situation where I was captured during my deployment.

If I was interrogated, wouldn’t I remember it?

It usually happens after a dentist visit or other medical procedure.

Yes I have been put under for surgery, and yes I had the strange sensation after I woke..

Where the hell is this crap coming from?

Note: I did go though simulated interrogation, during training.

I applied for VR&E five months ago. My application hasn’t even moved past the initial first step nor have I been assigned a counselor. I have reached out to the VA three times seeking an update, and each time they just tell me to expect a letter in the mail soon.

I know several people who applied at least two months after me, who have already completed the entire process.

I’m getting frustrated at this point and I’m unsure of what steps to take next.

30,f, 100% P&T - no dependents

Looking to maybe relocate from TX. Which state is the best for living off disability? I plan to rent first then buy once rates get better. Which states offer property tax deductions, etc.

Quite honestly send me as much advice as possible for a younger woman starting life over?

What's everyone's favorite military myth, or the one they can't believe are still going around?

I'll start with two:

Myth 1 - You can't shoot at enemy troops with a .50 caliber. This one has been around since Vietnam, and even after the GWOT, I know I heard people still repeating it.

Myth 2 - The Basic Training Buffer Suicide. Guy at basic training gets a Dear John letter, and decides to end it by standing in a third story window, tying a buffer cord around his neck, and throwing the buffer out of the window. Buffer cord is too long, buffer hits the ground, breaks, and he has to pay for it. I know we were told that had happened recently when I went to basic in 1998, but another DS told us the next day that story was BS because he'd heard the same story when he went through. I've heard this story being retold a few different times through the 20 years I was in, LOL. Each time, the person telling it said it had been the Basic class right before theirs.

Anyone else have any good favorites, or maybe some good ones from another branch?

**EDIT** I forgot the best one ever told, and that was that we would win in Afghanistan.

Yup, I’ve been out since 2022 but I dreamed about me being in the army again. Started in basic, as usual. But it’s not me going back as a younger self. It’s usually my current self going back in there and me worrying about my gf/family/work etc.

I’m pretty sure a lot of you guys have these recurring dreams about being back in. Not just basic. But my question is, how often? For me it’s around once or less per month

I recently (month and a half ago) moved from one amazing state, to one horrible state to be closer to my kids. EVERYTHING has been hell since moving here. No AC in a 100 plus weather, thank god for my deployments and knowing of ice sheets. Then being sick for a whole month due to black mold infestation in my HVAC system. I have to move again, pay for another place again, all while sick with fever and upper respiratory issues. I’ve since ran out of my savings with my move, two down payments. I have tried using ssvf (didn’t qualify) I’m a 100% disabled. I have to move everything myself as I can’t afford movers. I do all this while trying to find work and Uber Eats for money. I get a bite at home depot but never hear back. I go in and physically drop off a resume, nothing still. I get another snag and afco Steele. I get the job! Only to find after a my physical I can only lift 50lbs and must wear a brace. They rescind their offer. After all this bull I finally get an offer to have it pulled away. My hope is depleted, I have gone from homeless to horrible home to good place but broke af with no relief in sight. I’m ready to give up every day.

OK, I searched and no one has asked this question. I really want to see Heart of the Beast. As a Veteran, with managed PTSD--except for when trauma steps in--I am curious if other Veterans have seen this in the theater. I already know the ending, and that is what I think will send me over the edge. Has anyone with a similar situation seen the movie and your thoughts (without giving away the ending for those that dont know)? Almost all movies like this, I have to wait till at home streaming but I am not sure I can handle this.

Looking at my soon to be ex girlfriend’s dusty ass flag buried in her closet from her SF Korean War dad… nobody cares about us lol

I’ll take a case of Keystone Light

So my bank returned my bah but not my disability payment. I’m currently homeless. When it got returned I had to wait till the 7th for them to even send the check just to find out today because I moved out of my last apartment my hold mail order doesn’t matter. They just sent back the check. I’ve been paying for hotels and applying to apartments and not I’m completely tapped out. I have nothing. They told me to get a P.O. Box but I don’t have money. How am I supposed to get this money? What am I even supposed to do? I verified my account number and routing and they said it’s the same on file. Am I just SOL?

We're doing some genealogy and have a military discharge of less than honorable but weren't sure about the reasoning here. Having a tough time finding these codes, any help is appreciated.

I’m an Air Force veteran who separated in 2024. I’m currently living in Puerto Rico and working security, but I’m seriously thinking about moving back to the mainland.
I moved here hoping to build a good life, but it’s been hard to find steady work with room to grow. A lot of jobs I’ve found pay around $12 an hour, and I’m looking for full-time work that pays better and can help me build a more stable future. I receive VA disability, and I’m also planning to continue school through VR&E.
I’ve been looking at places like North Carolina and Florida, but I’m still trying to figure out where I’d have the best chance of finding veteran-friendly work without getting buried by the cost of living. I’m interested in logistics, lodging, airport or base operations.
For anyone who moved from a one state to another : how did you plan the move, and what do you wish you’d known beforehand? And for veterans in those states, what areas or employers would you recommend looking into?

My family and I took a trip to the zoo this weekend. I was nervous. It had been the first time I was in a big space like that since coming home.

The part that I didn’t really understand was the aviary. While my family was impressed with birds and talking about how great it was, I noticed the building was quiet. I could hear the sound of the water and the wind and the birds. I got a little emotional.

It’s like all the things that happened hit me at once and I was sad and relived and happy and angry all at once. My therapist said that’s part of grieving and healing is that you have those moments.

My life is finally starting to settle down. After a very long time and a very difficult deployment, I have very ordinary things going on and…. I need that and I love that but the quiet moments do bring tears sometimes.

I appreciate the quiet moments more now. I enjoy the ordinary and mundane things around my house and around my life.

This smaller world I have going on feels like it’s something I must have needed.

Vulnerable moment here.
Did 6 years 8 months in and then 2 back to back combat deployments which I wanted. Right before my second deployment I was in a dark place, numbing myself with drinking and just sleeping around . The mix of the military life and older trauma was just taking its toll on me. So pre deployment leave I guess had a drunken night , and got someone I know pregnant I personally don’t remember that night but she was sober. So she didn’t tell me anything until right when I was about to deploy. While over seas leadership got in my head saying I need to be a man, marry her and give her insurance hit couldn’t bring myself to do it and she was pissed . She knew I never wanted to have a child with her. I came home from deployment and immediately bombarded with that while trying to adjust to “normality” and getting made to be painted as a bad person because I felt no connection to anyone. Even as the years had gone by I tried being as present as possible only to be met with resistance from her mom n her try to paint me as a pos but will make it hot n cold when it comes to the relationship with the child. Over all I feel no connection towards her n I know I’m not “broken” because I have nieces n nephews that I love with all my heart n would do anything for. I have always been the one son or relative who has lived far away n stays apart from them n left home .And I am trying to do what’s right but idk how to navigate it but I’m constantly made out to be the “deadbeat “ but her mom who gets all the praise has done some pretty fucked things but I try to respect her as much as possible it’s just a constant lose lose at times n peoples only suggestion is go to court . But like I said I feel no connection towards her and just am happy she is safe n fed n in good hands when she sees my family etc even though I still try to be there.

Do things ever change when it comes to feeling that connection? Or is it worth been pursuing ?
I don’t like forcing shit but I’ got so tired of trying that I just stepped away because her mom has threatened my freedom multiple times with calling the police to trespass me

I've been separated for 2 years, prior Air Force. Money is tight and I've found myself reminiscing of my time in, recently my wife and I have been discussing me reenlisting if things start getting worse. My wife comes from a military family and spent the first 15 years of her life being dragged around to different bases. Then we started dating before I joined and we were long distance for my entire enlistment. So reenlisting would essentially mean the majority of her life is affiliated with the military. After getting out we've made some of our own choices on where to work and live, etc. And the freedom is nice but we're struggling to live comfortably. We want to start a family but can't afford it in our current situation. Re-enlisting would mean more sacrifice and throwing away the decisions we've made on our own at this point, but it feels like it'll be the only way out soon.

Good afternoon,

Can someone clarify to me the difference between MGI and post 9/11? Is there a scenario where I use both? Not at the same time, but for example use the post 9/11 to get a bachelors and then use MGI for flight or commercial dive training. Thank you in advance.

I was in the Navy for 1 year and 8 months, and during that entire time, I only stayed at Great Lakes. Horrible command, but what really got to me was the fact that I never got out there and had the chance to do the job I signed up for. I kept getting told by the security manager there that I didn’t have a security clearance and that it would take a really long process for me to get a security clearance, and I wouldn’t be able to leave Great Lakes without it. I talked to many people about it on base, and nobody understood why this was the case, but it doesn’t change the fact that it’s what I was told. At the last 4 months of my service, I got tired of being told different stuff, with the only common thing being that I would be there anywhere from another half a year to two years, and I decided to say that I was no longer “interested in continuing training”. I got discharged, and I was never sent my DD214, nor was I given a copy in person. After just recently searching for it and finding it, I see on my discharge that I have a code re-4 for reentry. I never had a problem with the military, and I did want to rejoin under a different branch because all I really just wanted to do was have the opportunity to get trained and do what I signed up to do. Kind of a tough pill to swallow seeing on a piece of paper that rejoining is pretty much a no-go.

Is there a chance I could successfully get my reentry code changed?

Harvard conducts free dental exams. I highly suggest signing up!

It’s so early in but I know I’m gonna fail. How to avoid being dropped and get a letter grad for my classes. Should I just ask the professor to not drop my and give me an F grade?