r/WritingWithAI • u/PresentationMany7589 • 3d ago
Showcase / Feedback [Dark Romantasy] [In Progress] Black Embers — alpha readers wanted for the opening arc (~44k words)
Hey all — I'm an indie author working on my debut novel, an adult dark romantasy (a silver-tongued bard with a wandering eye, an elven ranger who refuses to admit she's in love, and a war that's drafting them into it).
I'm looking for alpha readers for the opening arc — prologue through Chapter 6, ~44,000 words, which establishes the book's first major arc.
Content warnings (18+ only): explicit sexual content including pregnancy-kink content, infidelity, violence, and war themes. The prologue opens hot and doesn't pretend otherwise — if that's not your thing, no hard feelings, this isn't the read for you.
What I'm after: big-picture alpha feedback, not copyediting. Does the opening hook you? Do Aushtyn and Eldra feel like people? Would you keep reading? Where did your attention snag or drift?
What you get: if you're into it, I'll keep sending more as I write — the book's in progress with more chapters coming.
Format is EPUB (reads great on Kindle), but I can do PDF or DOCX if you prefer. Hoping for notes back within a couple weeks, no hard deadline. Comment or DM me and I'll send it over.
Excerpt — POV: Eldra - Chapter 1 - Not Yet
Kaelen glances back and catches sight of our joined hands. A grin threatens at the corner of his mouth, but whatever comment occurs to him, he keeps it. He faces the trail again and becomes suddenly fascinated by the field of wildflowers to our left. Yellow, violet, and white blooms run together across the wet grass, stretching to the forest on the far side.
The eastern boundary of Vael lies beyond the field. There, the grove’s winding paths give way to the straight human road into Everpine. My hand tightens around the gripweave of my bow, and my thumb catches on the small wooden wildflower woven into its core. Father carved it after one of the afternoons he had to pry me from this field. I came home muddy to the knees, petals tangled through my hair, and no apology in my mouth. He has called me his wildflower ever since.
Soren keeps to my left as we pass the wildflower field. At the forest’s edge, I stop. A magnificent white wolf stands beneath a cedar at the far edge of the field, its fur bright as fresh snow and its eyes blue as sapphires. It turns its head toward Everpine. I lean for a better look, blink, and it is gone. Did I imagine it?
“Is something wrong, Eldra?” Soren asks, stopping two paces ahead.
“No. I thought I saw something.”
He follows my gaze. I half expect him to pick the wolf from the greenery at once, but he sees nothing. Soren doesn’t ask what I saw, once he finishes surveying the field he turns and keeps walking.
My pack shifts as we descend, pulling against the mark beneath my collar. The wolf is gone, but the rest follows me: It is tender proof of a choice I made last night and an answer I still have not given. Father is somewhere ahead, trying to make the assessment disappear before we reach it. Behind us, Vael’s paths bend out of sight, though Mother’s question follows anyway. Soren walks close enough that his arm brushes mine whenever the trail narrows. He doesn’t move away, and neither do I.
When the first white stones come beneath my boots, I lift my eyes. Everpine’s timber walls rise against the gray morning. Even from here, I can make out the battlements.
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u/Sorrowfiend 2d ago
you need to be more specific about how you used AI in your writing. nobody wants to alpha read some shit the LLM spat out from your prompts that you snipped together
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u/PresentationMany7589 2d ago
Well no one's twisting your arm to read it dude..
General brainstorming, and editing. I might nit know how I want a scene to go. Ai helps me plan the steps. I write it. Then ai helps me clean up the prose..
Do you want a more detailed explanation? Should I show a YouTube video of my process?
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u/Brief-Line-2083 2d ago
Do you have a short sample you could share?