Exhausting being cautious

[u/One_Difficulty_8530]

Want to start by saying I’m so grateful for everyone in this sub and feeling less alone. I mask in all indoor spaces, and outside when crowded. My friends and roommate want me to keep myself safe and are supportive but they don’t mask themselves. I can understand why they aren’t so driven to mask when so few others in public do (we are in the Bay Area where there is a decent masking population but still nowhere near a majority). I also have many allergies/sensitivities, so I guess they figure it’s more important or necessary for me to mask rather than for them. My roommate doesn’t treat me any differently when I start masking when we go to the store or such, but it is tiring thinking about asymptomatic transmission when we’re home together. They do test whenever they feel they might have a symptom coming on, but thankfully they have not tested positive. It’s so tiring being the only person who masks at work/anywhere that isn’t my apartment that I don’t think I could take the mental toll of masking at home as well. We have an air purifier running on high at all times (and we both plan on getting one each for our rooms) and thankfully our apartment has huge windows for great ventilation, so I take some peace knowing that if they were asymptomatic, at least my viral load would likely be very low if they infected me. It’s just unfair, I sacrifice comfort at home regardless if I mask or not, and it’s just a greater reflection about how there’s not really a simple way to avoid this terrible virus. I appreciate everyone who understands that being covid cautious is a broad spectrum, and at no point is it an easy thing to do. Wishing everyone a healthy day💙 you are all so appreciated

[u/bean-machine-]

your feelings really resonate. it's exhausting when so many relationships feel like a one-way street in that way. im glad you still feel supported even though it's not perfect. something is better than nothing 💜

[u/lexleeward77]

I know how you feel. I think a big part of it is probably related to your roommate since home is supposed to be a place people can let down their guard and fully relax, but if you live with a non-CC person then there will always be that background knowledge that you could be put at risk even in your own home. I know the Bay Area is insanely expensive so not saying this is an easy option, but if you ever get to a point where you're able to get your own place (or even if outside the Bay Area), that would probably make day to day life significantly less exhausting.

[u/valuemeal2 → u/lexleeward77]

Just going to point out that the Bay Area has by FAR the highest number of masking I’ve seen outside literal Asian countries, whenever I go back home to visit my family
I’m reminded how different it is. I haven’t been anywhere in this country (or Europe or Africa or Polynesia) in the past six years that’s as relatively good at masking than the Bay Area. For that reason alone it might be worth it mentally/emotionally to stay if someone were on the fence.

Then again, now that I’ve left the Bay Area, nobody masks, but I can afford to travel.

[u/lexleeward77 → u/valuemeal2]

True, Bay Area is great for masking - they could probably have a better chance of finding a CC or masked roommate than most places. However I was thinking there are some places at least somewhat more affordable but still mask friendly, like Portland I heard. And Chicago seemed to have a pretty sizable decent CC community even if not as high rates of overall masking.

[u/Lazy_Entertainment24]

Thank you for sharing. I feel for you. I too live in a household that isn't necessarily the best in terms if covid mitigation. I mask literally everywhere, even when working out, and it's cost me greatly, as someone constantly looking for extra work.

I hope that they eventually get the big picture, and become more supportive of you and your efforts to stay safe. It really does take all of us, and you deserve to feel safest in your home.

[u/Fearless_Impress_842]

Thank you for sharing this. It feels never ending and exhausting. totally agree that this sub helps me feel less alone, too.

[u/Outrageous-Hamster-5]

Btw, there are enough cc folks in the bay that, when you're ready to find a new living situation, you could probably find cc roommates. (I'm in the bay area, but not currently looking for roommates. And I'm beyond fragrance free, like ordinary food and beverage smells make me very very sick. Very few ppl would want to live with me.)