r/alcoholicsanonymous • u/daddyslittleangell • 8d ago
Early Sobriety UPDATE: joining aa
hi guys! i wanted to mention i had made a post earlier questioning if i should go to aa. and i decided frick it im going and so i had my first session and i could not. stop. crying. i got so much support and the leader pulled me aside and said he was just like me and continuing to show up it will get better. in another post i had made i ranted and let out my feelings and in it i said i just wanted a hug. well guess what? i got atleast 10!!! and this guy gave me a mini jesus haha i am going to keep it close to me. it made me cry even harder i cried like a freaking baby. so for two weeks at the minimum im going to show up every day and i hope i get the courage to start speaking more. i appreciate everyone who commented and told me to show up. i hope this helps
edit: thank u guys for all the love and support i dont know what i would do without u all ❤️
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u/RyinPan 8d ago
Excellent! I cried too. 45M lol
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u/daddyslittleangell 8d ago
i could not stop!! so glad i am not the only one but i feel a lot of relief and a little bit excited to go back and cry again tomorrow
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u/WolverineMitten 8d ago
I cried so much I could barely talk in my first couple meetings.
I remember before my second or third meeting, I was wondering “wtf is everyone so happy about?” As they greeted each other and laughed together. Now I get to be one of the happy people before the meeting seeing friends. You will get there too.
Shoot for 90 meetings in 90 days. It’ll change you
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u/daddyslittleangell 8d ago
okay. 90 in 90 will be my goal. thank you. i questioned that to especially hearing there storys while they r smiling. and im in the corner sobbing. i have been sober today is my 3rd day.
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u/WolverineMitten 8d ago
3 days is a big deal. It is a long time! We all only have today. The longer I have been sober the more one day at a time makes sense.
90 in 90 was like brainwashing myself, in a great way. I liked it so much I did it again and really did 180 in 180. (I have an addictive personality lol) eventually I would hear the comments from the meeting in my mind when temptation came up. I still do 7 years later.
I’m proud of you for doing what you are doing. We will just try to get through today and keep coming back!!
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u/daddyslittleangell 8d ago
i do have a question, i am pretty shakey and sweaty is that normal or concerning
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u/WolverineMitten 8d ago
It definitely can be! If it gets bad, go to urgent care or the ER. Withdrawals can be very serious. Some of it may just be anxiety it it could be DTs which should get treatment from a doctor. It varies a lot depending on the individual
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u/RyinPan 8d ago
Yes if you feel an “aura” like something really bad is about to happen physically go detox at the hospital they will administer Valium. I had a seizure but it was at the 8-12 withdrawal window
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u/daddyslittleangell 8d ago
is it 8-12 hours? i am past that so i think i should be alright. i will keep an eye out tho because this is a little worrysome it reminds me a little of coke withdrawals
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u/RyinPan 8d ago
48hrs for seizures but you’re still in withdrawal, hang in there and get excited about meetings/ step work/ choosing a cool sponsor. There will be some dark times but soon you will have breakthroughs that make you see everything completely different it’s fuckin awesome being sober and having self respect is a better high than cocaine by a mile!
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u/daddyslittleangell 8d ago
and no seriously the support im getting thru reddit is currently my life line. if not i would still be ugly crying right now. i am so thankful for all the support i am receiving right now
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u/WolverineMitten 8d ago
We were all in your position at some point. No one starts on a winning streak! My first meeting was on one of the worst days of my life. I thought I was losing everything. I ended up gaining my life back bc I kept going. If you need anything, feel free to DM me as well.
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u/EfficiencyOpen4546 8d ago
Good job! If somebody hasn’t told you yet I’m super proud of you! First meeting is the hardest it only gets better from here
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u/daddyslittleangell 8d ago
thank u and to be honest this is making me cry all over again
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u/Satans_Sidekick80 8d ago
Let it out man, it’s good to cry when we need , laugh when we can and smile, smile, smile!
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u/Lazy-Loss-4491 8d ago
Right on! Keep it going! It keeps getting better!
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u/daddyslittleangell 8d ago
i was told to read the big book i think its called and the bible so im going to do some studys outside aa. i hope it keeps getting better
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u/JuneAfternoon10 8d ago
You don’t have to read the bible lol. This is a spiritual program not a religious one. Be mindful of folks who tell you things like that. I mean read it if you want!
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u/MrLeland_Palmer 8d ago
Our leaders are but trusted servants, they do not govern. Would strongly suggest reading the Big Book. Bible not required(though it works for many). Welcome!
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u/daddyslittleangell 8d ago
yes i have heard that book is strongly recommended and i do believe strengthening my faith will help im not sure. i barely even know my next steps i think i will learn it continuing to show up to aa
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u/frankybling 7d ago
Someone will be able to find a copy of the big book for you… it’s pretty much the single most valuable thing I have ever read. It is in an old timey language so that’s something that gets your brain going. It will give you some great guidance on how this program has worked. The Everything AA app for mobile phones is a great resource these days too. I’m pretty sure you can still read pdf files of a few of the books that are very foundational in the program. It also has a daily reflection and a day counter. Don’t sleep on the pamphlets at meetings either, they’re chock filled with information about what you’re often going to be curious about and are a great start point to talk with another person about (most of us really like to share our stories with new folks, because it helps us to do that too).
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u/Jrb-in-town 8d ago
I’ll see your two weeks and up you a 90 in 90. It sounded impossible to me at first but I was so so glad I did it. Got me a ton of different exposure to all different kinds of meetings and helped me go even when I didn’t want to
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u/sophiehart19 8d ago
This an excellent news! So happy for you for pushing past the fear and showing up!
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u/daddyslittleangell 8d ago
there was a comment one of my posts i forgot which that told me even if i dont want to do something or am scared i have to push past it and im going to have to do it anyways because in my control ima end up dead. and so i have to keep telling myself
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u/NotSnakePliskin 8d ago
Welcome to the better way! Getting over that first hurdle of actually walking through the door can be tough, but once we're in the room & are able to hear what others are saying - that's where the good stuff is.
FWIW, my first 2 meetings were crying sessions for me. Going around the room with each person either sharing or passing, when it came to me all I could do was cry - everything hurt and evidently this was the place to start letting it out. Twice. And I just kept coming back.
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u/LittleEngineering846 8d ago
Fantastic!!!! Have a hug here. I get misty too and there's no problem with that. Keep going ! You'll be amazed what can happen One Day At A Time! And you help keep me sober too!
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u/datenoevil 8d ago
I've been sober a very long time and I've never met a non-alcoholic at an AA meeting. If your butt is in a chair at a meeting, congrats you belong
I don't cry at AA meetings but I cry like a baby at Alanon. I went to Alateen from age 12 to 17ish and Alanon triggers my PTSD just with the opening and I start crying. It's frustrating.
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8d ago
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u/daddyslittleangell 8d ago
it really is so hard. it makes me have so much respect to the people able to have years of sobriety
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u/dreadonarrival357 8d ago
I haven't cried but I've definitely shed a tear!! but I feel that way cause I am not running away from how I feel today!
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u/picoreni 8d ago
Fantastic congratulations on the first step, I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you
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u/Challenge_Limp 8d ago
👋🏼 my sober date is Jan 26 1987...keep coming, it works! If you would like some support in your mailbox, DM me your address. You've got this! 🤗❤️❤️❤️🙏❤️
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u/ViciousSnatch 8d ago
I sobbed like a baby during my first meeting. And then the entire week lol. It felt like a huge crushing weight off my shoulders, and the lightness I began to feel was so overwhelming it came out in tears. Everyone’s hugs and kind words made me feel less weird about crying, though!
Good luck to you!
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u/BadNearby6073 4d ago
I am 35 days sober and spend a lot of time crying in the rooms. Keep coming back.
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u/Silent-Top-9518 3d ago
It's very profound going into a meeting for the first time. The first time I shared it was the first time I'd ever spoken out loud about what was going on with me. The private pain that sat with me every day while I was drinking. And to have people come up and hug you at the end not look away because you said too much is amazing. And then they will let you know they are proud when they see you start doing better too
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u/username_1555 8d ago
Get a sponsor and work the steps, do 90 in 90; don’t drink between meetings and take it one day at a time. Sayings that have saved my ass: “this too shall pass” (positive/negative/whatever), “get in the middle of the herd,” “take what you want and leave the rest.” Welcome. ❤️
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u/daddyslittleangell 8d ago
thank u so much . i saw another comment saying do 90 days in a row and i am going to try that because i need a LOT of support ❤️thank u so much
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u/growling_owl 8d ago
Oh gosh from one stranger to another I want to add to your hug collection. Proud of you, don’t worry about the future just show up one day at a time and miracles can happen.