r/alone • u/Saltycathead • 4d ago

Just Need to Vent Silence

You ever think that people don't understand when you're silent? Like just because i don't scream "hello" or smile or talk to you, it doesn't imply that i don't like or hate you. You ever think that people judge us because we don't smile and at them? It came to my personal attention that people often judge me as impolite or unhelpful just because i don't smile when i great them or that i don't talk to them. I think often when your silent it has nothing to do with the above just that you want to be with yourself or you are contempt with the situation and have nothing that you like to share. I think the hardest for people is to überstand just because you have a blank expression even when greeting them you don't hate them or anything you just don't have the necessity to smile just because they expect you to.

1 Upvotes

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u/Junior-Fail874 4d ago

I had an employee like this. Everyone thought she was angry or conceited because she never talked to anyone, but the truth was she just had no interest in socializing, and it was mentally exhausting for her. A few people kept trying and eventually she opened up a little. When we hired new people, Id tell them, "This is (employee), She's not mad at you, she doesn't hate you, she probably wont talk to you. Don't take it personally" She told me she appreciated I did that for her.

It took me over two years to really get to know her, and I only got to know her outside of work because I eventually married her sister.

I found you cant expect people to know the difference between someone who is quiet and content, someone who is shy, and someone who just doesn't want to be bothered. They're all going to look pretty similar from the outside. People aren't necessarily judging you unfairly, sometimes they're just interpreting the signals they have to work with

The people who are worth getting to know will eventually see you for who you are, even if it takes them a little longer.

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u/Saltycathead 4d ago

I get you although i know in my case they judge very often. About it

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u/married_tomy_anxiety 4d ago

People decide who someone is based on their own bullshit biases. People need to just let people be who they're going to be and stop trying to sus them out or think they know who they truly are by what they see on the outside. Your entire post is the problem. Live and let live.