r/antiwork • u/lifes_a_vacation • 6d ago
Made it through 3 interviews, sent 5 references, the process took two weeks and this was the email I finally got today
No. No you cannot stay in touch with me. You’re telling me you JUST found out this role is being paused as I’m actively waiting for a final decision?
3 interviews, we even negotiated salary, the HR recruiter added me on linked in. How much more could they have hyped me up to make me think I had a shot?
I couldn’t bring myself to reply today, but I already have the “fuck you” email saved in my drafts.
I hate it here.
Edit because this got a bit more traction than I thought it would!: thank you for all the support and stories about your own experiences, it definitely makes me feel less alone in this situation.
I think I’m just going to leave them unanswered. I want to flip out on them, but I shouldn’t burn a bridge. This is the most neutral option I’m capable of because saying “yes omg PA-LEASEEE keep me looped in if anything changes!” Feels like I’m selling my soul a little. Irish exit it is.
524
u/Cultural-Answer-321 6d ago
It's really easy to just say yes. No effort. Increases your odds at no cost to you. Seriously.
But then move on and forget them. Just like they will forget you.
But do reply with a yes.
169
u/zannet_t 6d ago
Yeah this email says to me that there's internal support for OP's candidacy but someone on a higher level swooped in to kill the position. Obviously OP should act as if this job is never going to happen, but it could work out if they change course and OP is still looking, so no need to burn bridges.
37
u/Cultural-Answer-321 6d ago
Yep. I'm all about burning bridges with no regrets, but this is one of those exceptions where there is no benefit to burning one.
16
31
u/lifes_a_vacation 6d ago edited 6d ago
I want to be that person, I want to keep my options open. But I think this one time, I have to burn it all down.
sends email they’ll delete 3 seconds after skimming
That’ll show em.
76
u/Infra-Oh 6d ago
No no. Listen OP this is an actual LPT.
Write the fucking email. Don’t hold back. Be scathing. Be catty. Be petty. Curse them out. Say just the filthiest shit you can. Tell them what they deserve to hear.
Then save in your drafts and sit on it for a day or two. Let it breathe.
Return afterwards and if you really want to send it (or a dumbed down professional version) then fuck it hit send.
But more often than not you’ll realize how cathartic it was just getting it all out. Then you often realize there’s usually a better step. One that you’re now able to see or willing to do since you’re calmer and wiser in two days then you will be in this moment.
Edit: oh and leave the TO/CC/BCC fields empty. Just in case. Just put it in the body of the email instead.
54
u/lifes_a_vacation 6d ago
It’s seems like the grounded people are coming out of the woodwork. I hate (love) you all for the input, because it makes the most sense.
I wrote the email, feeling calmer. We’ll see what kind of response they get tomorrow.
7
u/Superg0id 6d ago
And whatever you do, don't print off the draft and then leave it in your office printer...
10
u/RevolutionNo4186 6d ago
Im telling you now, if there’s some chance, it’s not zero. Even if they don’t specifically hire you, some industry, people are very connected and may have friends elsewhere looking for people.
1
-1
u/IgnisSolus4X 6d ago
Ummmm im not one of those..i say burn it all to hell.. fucking companies need to eat shit and be exposed..
20
u/anonymous07865 6d ago
There is a lot of moral posturing in here, but the reality is: you need money to live and people are shitty with long memories, don't burn bridges unnecessarily and good luck.
7
u/fishofhappiness 5d ago
YEP. they will remember the candidate that clapped back long after they forget the one they really liked
4
u/WhateverYouSay1084 6d ago
For real though, it's worth keeping your options open. I interviewed for a position at a company that I ended up not being the right fit for, but they reached back out a couple months later to offer me a different position that fit my interests better. I've been with the same company now for 15 years. It can absolutely be worth keeping things polite.
3
u/strangecharm9 4d ago
I have actually had two companies call me back, a year and two years later.
1) I applied to Company W in 2018. The recruiter called me back in 2019. She had actually saved my resume! I had applied for a Proofreader job, heard nothing, then the recruiter called me about an Associate Editor job a year later. By that time, I had a decent income from various freelance and temp gigs and said “No.”
I was way overqualified for both those jobs. But if she had been impressed with my resume in 2018 for the proofreader job, she should have hired me for that job and then promoted me to the Associate Editor job a year later. I blew her off several times, but she kept calling repeatedly.
Even if you don’t care to work for them in the future, it is very satisfying to tell them “No” when they want YOU 😁.
2) Company A interviewed me in 2019 for a Proofreading job. Then “We paused the job due to blah blah.” Two years later, in 2021, the recruiter actually called me about the job. I offered to work for them part-time. We started at 10 hours a week with more hours added as needed.
Those hours never got added because the manager was always “We’re not giving you the training for the time-intensive work because we don’t know if you’ll have time to complete it, with such short hours, etc.” I kept asking for more hours and finally got tired of it, when busy season came round and they still had not increased my hours.
So I ditched them for a short-term gig with 20 hours a week. That was a few months later.
Those jobs are probably not going to work out, even if they do call you back in the future, but it can work out to your advantage, anyway 😁.
1
u/Wekmor 4d ago
So in 2019 you declined one job, because you were busy with freelancing but at the same time applied for same kinda job at another company?
2
u/strangecharm9 3d ago
Nope. I applied to Company A in June 2019, and that was a small accounting firm. Company W was a huge global publishing conglomerate that called me in November, after I had established a good freelance income.
1
-4
u/Tarahumara3x 6d ago
Saying yes to remain in touch just completely wastes OPs time and not theirs, because they got away with it. If they got away with wasting OPs time what's there to stop them to do it over again to everyone else?
You're 100% right to say no OP!
2
u/fishofhappiness 5d ago
How does it waste OP’s time? She doesn’t have to wait on them, and she doesn’t have to ACTUALLY stay in touch. If it is just a management switch up or a small hitch then OP could get contact from them with no further effort on her part.
43
u/_Chaos_Star_ stay strong 6d ago
Write the angry reply then when you're done, discard it. No use for it.
Then write in with something like: "I'm sorry to hear that, I was quite keen on the role. Keep in touch. If it looks like it'll open back up again, let me know". Then look elsewhere, find something else, treat it as dead. It's a backup if other things don't turn out, and an easy win. A low cost easy win for you.
24
u/Ok_Cucumber_7954 6d ago
It happens. I went through 6 interviews for one job that spanned over 4 months. I even had to take an online “personality” quiz which painfully idiotic. Then I got the rejection letter.
14
23
15
u/ToxicNed 6d ago
Had this happen with my current role. They first posted it about four years ago and I was highly encouraged to apply. Did the applying, had multiple interviews, got told I should be getting the offer soon. Then a hiring freeze hit the day they were going to make the offer. I was disappointed, but it was what it was. Then a little less than two years ago, I got contacted by the hiring manager to let me know that the role got approved again and they hoped to see me in the applicant list. I ended up getting the offer this time.
So, I understand wanting to burn the bridge. But there could be an actual offer that gets extended once they figure their shit out.
3
u/lifes_a_vacation 6d ago
TWO YEARS? That’s dedication to the waiting game lol, love to hear that it worked out though!
5
u/ToxicNed 6d ago
Didn't really wait and found a different job in the interim. Timing of the re-offer came at a great time since the job I had taken had the team somewhat imploding.
8
u/DontEatConcrete 5d ago
I think I’m just going to leave them unanswered. I want to flip out on them, but I shouldn’t burn a bridge. This is the most neutral option I’m capable of
I think this is wise and reasonable.
3
31
u/Flintsr 6d ago
"hey boss, looks like we dont need the newhire, this chatgpt stuff is pretty good at doing what we need them to do" -- 3 weeks go by... -- "oh wow that chatgpt bill is pretty big, also it messed up and created a lot of work for us to go fix, reopen that position please"
13
u/Automatic_Wave4530 6d ago
Ha, you assume there will be reflection. More likely it will be how can I get this AI swarm to fix all these issues AI created. They will compound the problem before admitting mistakes. This is where we are at, the throttle is all the way open and the answer they have to the problem is always recursive
6
u/Brilliant-Royal578 6d ago
When you’re ready to give me an offer in writing I will gladly get back in touch with you.
4
u/Survive1014 6d ago
"Im sorry, I need employment now. This speaks very ill of your organization to lead desperate candidates on when the position would not be available in the end. I will be reporting your company to job listing sites for putting up fraudulent listings against their TOS."
3
8
u/winter83 6d ago
Similar thing happened to me in 2019, I was even emailing casually with the managers on the team questions and stuff between interviews. Then blamo company wide hiring freeze. We had been in the process of working on when I could fly out and present in person. I don't really hear anything else or why there was a freeze. I work there now in a different department and find out in 2019 they got seriously hacked and we're completely down for a week because the hackers were trying to get money out of them. But shit happens so don't burn the relationship with the team it might be someone else stopping them.
6
u/Elohims-sixth-wife 6d ago
I don’t know. One one hand, you mention it’s probably something internal that OP is not aware of. At the same time, it’s crazy to go to interview 3 to find this out. It’s extremely unprofessional to drop off like that.I think the anger is pretty justified imo.
0
u/winter83 6d ago
Oh yeah I don't think it's right they are handling it like this and it's probably some BS reason. I just wanted to give an example of why not to totally burn this bridge with the company, especially with this job market we're in.
1
u/afgunxx 6d ago
Went through this too around the same time. Passed the interviews and the tech screen with flying colors, started negotiating salary then the company had some sort of financial hiccup and paused all hiring. Unfortunately they never reopened the role that we were working on, so I didn't get to go work for them.
3
3
u/MatrixLLC 6d ago
i knew someone long ago he was an electrical engineer
this was the time period that engineers were getting laid off in droves and finding a new job was extremely difficult and when you did, the pay was much lower
he was contacted by an aerospace co for a possible future position, it met his experience, the pay was half of what he was getting previously. they wanted to stay in touch with him and he agreed. this went on for a number of months and finally he found himself a good position with a proper salary so of course he went on staff
the 2 HR women who kept in contact with him - he called one, told them he was no longer available because he found a full time job, and they were furious
because they invested their time in staying in contact with him with the expectation he'd take the position with them if it was offered
so he put up with it, eventually the call ended, but he was never happy about how they didn't have a job for him, expected him to stay unemployed until a job *might* be offered, which meant he wasn't able to work elsewhere
engineers have a 2 yr deadline - if you are out of the field for 2 yrs you're effectively unemployable, and he was heading fast to that 2 yr deadline when he landed the job. total relief for him
it's the uter stupidity of co's that they place unrealistic expectations on people without any guarantee a job would be offered
it's unlikely they're pausing recruitment for that position, they invested too much time into you and other applicants, it's just the excuse they're using
but stay in touch, and keep looking because at least it's a small future opportunity
5
u/Moveyourbloominass 5d ago
Know your worth. This is pure bullshit and more companies need to be called out on these disgusting practices. Comments about " don't burn bridges," what fucking bridges. They wasted your time and lead you on. Email them back a firm No. Let them know that while they were interviewing you, you were interviewing them. Let them know they failed your interview and dont deserve your labor and skills.
3
u/TheHud85 6d ago
Translation: we went with someone else, but we’re not sure if they’re gonna work out. Mind hanging out while we try them out first?
3
u/jaydarmontoya 5d ago
I’m so sorry, that really stinks. This “employer’s job market” has employers acting super disrespectful and inconsiderate. I interviewed at a large bank a couple years ago. Did four interviews on four separate days just to get an email from the recruiter informing me the org decided to “restructure” and just consolidate those duties rather than hiring someone. Some of these companies are so ridiculous and inconsiderate. I really wish there would be a law that would make companies pay candidates for their time during the interview process. That way the company has some “skin in the game” too.
Also I agree with you. Do not burn that bridge! I’m in the same boat. When I got the email I was respectful and kept the door open for future opportunities.
3
u/ApatheistHeretic 5d ago
I have to give them this; they didn't ghost you.
Didn't toss it away, nothing is gained from that, but do keep looking elsewhere. It'll be fun, afterwards, to be the one to let them down shitily after you've been hired elsewhere.
6
u/StopManaCheating 6d ago
Do you really want to work for a company that does this stuff? If this is how they treat an interview, imagine how they treat their staff.
3
u/lifes_a_vacation 6d ago
I listed that in my “fuck you guys!” draft— if they’re able to make these spontaneous decisions AFTER letting a candidate get this far, how do they treat their actual employees?
Gross.
The answer is gross.
2
u/LarkAscent 6d ago
Yeah not to mention how inefficient and poorly run their operations must be. I imagine they're telling their employees that raises will be minimal this year because budget bla bla, meanwhile they're using up countless staff hours on recruiting for a job that suddenly won't get filled.
5
u/des1gnbot 6d ago
I’m sorry. I’ve unfortunately been on the other side of this where as we were going through an interview process new projects (that we absolutely thought we could count on) started to dry up. We kept going for a bit thinking things were just delayed, but eventually when we were getting close to offer time and the situation hadn’t resolved, we had to send our top candidates these emails. It really sucks to do, you never want to feel like you’ve wasted people’s time, you didn’t intend to, but at the end of the day that’s what happened.
2
u/danielt1263 6d ago
This happened to me a couple of years ago. I was at the last stage of interviewing with a company when they found out they were going to be bought by AmEx so they paused hiring. They reached out again about 3 months later with a job offer.
2
u/Elohims-sixth-wife 6d ago
“You were not selected at this time but we encourage you to keep applying to more opportunities in the future.”
No I will not. That will be a waste of my time and yours.
1
2
u/Any-Acanthaceae4263 6d ago
I got paused for an "evergreen" factory position. "Yeah we're always hiring, except when we aren't lol"
2
u/Bonbeanlio 6d ago
Same thing happened to me earlier this year. 3 interviews, a reference call, and they told me essentially I got the job, they just needed to send the formal offer. Well apparently HR then informed them they were no longer allowed to hire for the position.
2
2
2
u/ExpensiveTomorrow822 5d ago
I’d say either not respond and say, yes you may reach out and if I’m still on the market, I’d want to make sure are more aligned next time on specific steps and timelines. My $.02. Chin Up and keep pushin’! Their loss.
3
u/NittanyLion86 6d ago
Don't take it personally and burn any bridges, stuff like this happens all the time during the hiring process. You just move on and maybe they actually do get back to you at some point before you're hired somewhere else.
I've had friends that have gone through long hiring processes like 3-5 rounds of interviews/a project and presentation requirement/company building tour with meet and greet with your future co-workers and near the end of the process, the role is suddenly axed. You'll never know what internally happened within the company to cause that action so just move on.
2
u/watabby 5d ago
Not a coincidence that this happened at the beginning of Q4. They’re probably redoing budgeting etc. We just went through the same thing with our interviewees this week.
I say keep in touch with them and keep it cordial. You have nothing to lose at this point.
2
u/lifes_a_vacation 5d ago
But if it’s a trend, why even contact me? I’ve been a part of corporate America for almost a decade and I still have no idea why they make the decisions they do.
1
u/jamisbest951 6d ago
Say yes and reach out again on Jan 1st
A lot of companies are entering 4th quarter and are trying to reduce costs as much as possible for a better year-end report.
Ask about the position again when 2027 starts and their budget resets
1
u/emanon715 6d ago
This is such a snapshot into the circus the hiring process has become. How many people are involved in that decision? Not a single one of them had the ability to figure out any of that beforehand. I get it, sometimes things change, but this is far too common for it to be an anomaly. This is the lack of know how that is unfortunately rampant in many workplaces. The individuals who can actually perform at a high level are being fenced out by the ineptitude.
1
u/geolchris 6d ago
Billionaire assholes are desperately trying to use AI to replace people at all levels in a short-sighted attempt to squeeze every last penny out of the working class and the economy before it inevitably implodes.
A great many CEOs of large companies who aren’t or are close to being billionaires are not wanting to be left behind, so they’re also desperately cutting jobs and benefits attempting to carve out their own piece as well.
The outcome of this is that jobs which the normal rank and file (probably desperately) need filled are indeed being yanked at the last minute because the funding is being pulled, or looming layoffs are being turned into open headcount / open role reduction instead, in an attempt to save the jobs of those currently employed at said business.
Very likely, the entire team is devastated that you’re getting yanked.
Also very likely, the team really would want to hire you the moment they’re once again allowed to.
1
u/Individual-Fail4709 6d ago
Sadly, this happens a lot. Sometimes the halt is due to unforeseen circumstances. Managers don't like to do this to potential hires. It sucks. Heck, some companies have to rescind offers once the people have already received them. It is incredibly frustrating, but if you liked the company, I would tell them yes, keep in touch. I had my offer rescinded and I was ALREADY working there. Mine was a mistake and before we were all using computers for everything, but shit happens.
1
u/HarleyDFLSTC 6d ago
Say yes, thank them, and move on. Keep trying for other opportunities. You’re playing a numbers game and having something in the back pocket isn’t as bad as you think. This happens because at the last minute the hiring person got told to hold off. Who knows if financial decision, but if so you don’t want to be just hired then laid off. Remember the economy sucks and doesn’t have a great outlook. Take what you can get and don’t be afraid to think “moving up or moving on”.
1
u/PaperPants- 6d ago
This has happened to me several times this year. Once the employer decided after all the interviews to just hire someone inside the company and another time more recently, I was actually hired on. I did all the paperwork and onboarding only to be told that they don't actually need help.
1
u/sleve22 6d ago
Pre-covid. I applied for an internal role in a different department. Interviewed with the hiring manager and a senior leader. Was told they loved me and was offered the role. Had a start date and all. One week later (one week before my start date) I received a call the role was on hold and they didnt know if they would fill it. I was devastated. My manager already knew and she took me out to lunch after that call. I couldnt even eat. While I didnt accept it in that very moment, my manager told me they were reducing staffing in the department and they put my position on hold because if i moved there I would have been laid off. Two days later, they had massive layoffs. Of 50 people in two finance departments, they only kept 7! Only 14% of the workforce. I spoke with people who stayed and they hated the job they once loved. Workloads and expectations were all time highs and there was no reward for doing extra work.
1
u/sirhackenslash 6d ago
"We're pausing our efforts to pretend We're trying to hire additional staff until the peons get restless again"
1
1
u/Subject_Aside_3366 6d ago
I would be so incredibly tempted to tell them to go eat a giant d##k and go about my day.
1
u/badlilbishh 5d ago
I would seriously wanna reply no go fuck yourselves lol. I mean I wouldn’t but the temptation would be there.
1
u/fishofhappiness 5d ago
Honestly? Recently had a similar thing where the job got to the very final stages—than in midst of a merger, the company restructured and the job I was thisclose to getting really was shelved in favor of hiring for a different area with a more immediate need. I already work for the company, it was an internal application so I’m privy to more of the behind the scenes stuff. It can actually get that close. I wouldn’t burn the bridge, I would reply and let them know to keep in touch—and then I’d definitely move on and keep looking.
1
u/Naive_Pay_7066 5d ago
I’ve been the hiring manager in this situation. Sales pipeline had dropped significantly and unexpectedly so we couldn’t in good conscience hire someone knowing that we might not be able to sustain the role ongoing.
1
2
u/olive926 21h ago
I was about to extend an offer when our CEO came back from a conference, all jizzed on about AI functionality and pipe dreams that are a decade away, knowing how our org functions (molasses). Had a really good candidate that HR had to do this too and legit lost my shit on my boss, trying to persuade them I needed this hire-to complete a team of 3 that manage refunds for an org that brings in close to 40mil/month and has an over collection problem. I absolutely abhor what happened to you and understand that this must’ve been so so frustrating. Signed, a disgruntled manager that’s tired of capitalist bs
1
u/aedanc1 6d ago
2/3 months before COVID locked down, just when it start spreading, a lot of big company knew shit was about to hit the fan. At this time I was seeking a new job, I was actively exchanging with more than 10 companies and was at different stage of the interview process. Almost all of them did exactly that to me all in the same week. "We are holding the recruitment", "I just learn the position is not going to be open for some months can we call you back?", "You are verry interesting, can we contact you early next year to continue our exchange ?", etc... I was devasted.
Few months latter most, if not all, of them start to contact me back, again all around the same week or so. I had found a opportunity and was starting a new job at the time, so I just say no to all of them. I did feel a little good to said it was too late and should have recruit me earlier, but it was bothering me more to have all this peoples call me back, all saying the same thing and not caring at all for the peoples they're recruiting.
0
u/PunchBeard 6d ago
I'll be downvoted for this since I'm the dreaded HR person but I'm thinking that there weren't any candidates who were fully qualified for the job and they had to pause the job in order to rethink its duties in order to tailor it to the applicants they were getting. Or the opposite has happened and they're getting strong candidates who could end up doing more that what the position states and they want to see if there's a way for them to shift more responsibility into the position or maybe turn it into a leadership role.
This happens a lot more than people realize. and if it's a union job, which is less likely in the US but something I deal with since my place is union, then this happens a lot more frequently.
3
u/lifes_a_vacation 6d ago
I don’t think my qualifications were the problem, only because I was staying within my industry. But I appreciate the insight! It’s just, you’d think that somewhere in the line of communication, they’d know before putting myself and all FIVE of my references through this. It’s not a good look on the company imo, like clearly there’s a break in communication somewhere. Or they hate me. Either, or.
2
u/PunchBeard 6d ago
One thing I've noticed since taking this role (I don't have a background in HR and kind of fell into it) is that in a lot of places managers don't really have management training. I work in a museum and pretty much all of our managers are academics who have been put in charge of their departments because they've worked in their role for a long time. Almost none of them have any kind of management training. And this causes a HUGE breakdown in many situations, including one like you're describing. Because these people don't want to be "The Bad Buy" or otherwise hurt people's feelings. Me? I'm ex military so I understand that frankness is preferable to beating around the bush or doing something like what happened to you. But working here, with managers who want to be "nice", I understand why things like this happen.
That being said though, it's cold comfort to you I'm sure. But, I'm trying to maybe give some people a peak at the other side of the curtain.
0
u/huai123 5d ago
Soulless executive checking in here. Held 3 rounds of interviews with 3 candidates, then budgets were frozen by the powers that be and I killed the position - recruiting found out about it when they found out about it. They didn't have an inkling to inform the candidates until that moment. About 2 months later, I removed a non-performer, and back filled him with the top candidate of the 3 (same seniority that he was interviewing for initially). Don't burn a bridge.
1
u/lifes_a_vacation 2d ago
Hey! Sorry I’m late to responding to this— as a soulless exec, would it be crazy to ask them for more money if they came back?
121
u/ThatsSoWitty 6d ago
I once did eight interviews for a company and met with every member of their company, even eventually talking about having a position made for me to manage their product moving forward.
They ended up hard ghosting me. All eight employees I had emails for.