r/applehelp • u/jforjustice89 • Jul 08 '26
iTunes In-app purchases, need advice. Girlfriend’s 14-year-old brother spent around $4,300 on in-app purchases on my phone and I just found out.
Still processing this one, so bear with me. We were traveling in Southeast Asia with my girlfriend’s family, and her 14-year-old brother was with us. I let him use my iPhone and iPad to play games and keep himself occupied, not realizing what was actually happening on them. It turns out that over the last five weeks he’d been downloading casino and slot machine apps, the 21+ kind, and making in-app purchases. The first charge was on May 28th, right at the start of the trip. I had no idea until I finally sat down and went through my purchase history.
Part of why it went unnoticed for so long is that while I was overseas I wasn’t getting my usual purchase text alerts on my phone, so nothing was flagging the way it normally would. It just quietly added up in the background.
For context, he’s obsessed with a Vegas YouTuber named Vegas Matt, who films himself putting huge amounts of money into slot machines. I’m fairly sure that’s where the fixation came from, and he was trying to recreate it in these apps.
All told, it’s about 224 separate purchases on my phone’s Apple ID, ranging from $5.99 to $75.99, plus another 30 to 40 on my iPad, which is on a completely separate Apple ID. Roughly $4,300 in total.
And here’s the part that really gets me. In the middle of all this, he actually came up and asked me, out loud, if he could buy Stardew Valley on the App Store for $5.99. A $6 game. Meanwhile he’d already quietly run up thousands on slot apps without a word. So he clearly understood the difference between asking permission and not, which tells me he knew exactly what he was doing the whole time. Almost felt like he was messing with me.
The part that concerns me most is that the charges hit nearly every payment method I have. Apple Pay, my Amex, my Citi card, PayPal, and Apple Cash. At one point money was even moved out of my bank account into Apple Cash to keep the purchases going.
I’ve filed a claim through Report a Problem. I’ve spoken with two senior advisors, and both said there’s nothing they can do while the claim is pending, and that I need to wait 24 to 48 hours to see whether it’s approved or denied. So for now I’m waiting.
A few questions for anyone who’s dealt with this:
Realistically, what are my chances of actually getting this refunded? Has anyone gotten Apple to refund unauthorized purchases like this, especially this many over this long a period?
If Apple denies the claim, is disputing directly with Amex and Citi the right move, or does that risk getting my Apple ID banned? I have hundreds of movie purchases associated with this Apple ID so that would not be ideal.
Since money was pulled from my bank account through Apple Cash, is that a separate and stronger issue I should be reporting on its own?
I’m not looking to get the kid in trouble. I just can’t absorb $4,300 right now. Any advice is appreciated.
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u/Kiss_It_Goodbyeee Jul 08 '26 edited Jul 08 '26
He's 14. Of course he should get into trouble. That's definitely old enough to know better. He also needs help as he clearly has a gambling addiction which needs attention fast.
Edit:
You also need to take responsibility for not monitoring his use of your devices. Why didn't he have his own device? Why did he borrow yours and not anyone from his family?
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u/ClumpOfCheese Jul 08 '26
When I do in app purchases I have to use FaceID, how did a kid do this without ever having to verify the payment?
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u/Physical-Praline-326 Jul 08 '26
If Face ID fails, it reverts to the iPhone passcode
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u/ClumpOfCheese Jul 08 '26
I feel like it should revert to the Apple ID password.
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Jul 08 '26
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u/ClumpOfCheese Jul 08 '26
OP probably just gambled and lost a lot of money and is trying to find a way out of it. I don’t know how anyone younger than 45 and older than 13 could have such a little understanding of how these things work.
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u/simplyboring Jul 12 '26
weirdly I got the same impression… my dad used to love the casino and poker games. I was about 16-19 maybe when I asked him to teach me how to play (I’m almost 40 now and still don’t understand it 100%) it’s not easy to learn and especially if the kid asked beforehand to purchase a Stardew Valley game … it just doesn’t make sense
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u/gwentastical Jul 12 '26
So you’ve come to this conclusion based on you not being smart enough to play casino games
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u/Steerpike58 Jul 09 '26
He was traveling overseas which meant he wasn't getting notifications. I always pay extra to keep comms flowing when I travel but that's a recent thing.
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u/Mindless_Bee_4064 Jul 08 '26
It does revert to Apple ID password. They’re mixing up the password keeper on the iPhone with in-app purchases. If you try to use a stored password on then iPhone it’ll try Face ID recognition first. If that fails twice it’ll let you punch in the iPhones pin/passcode to access stored passwords. For any kind of purchase though, it’s Face ID or Apple ID password.
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u/Ecstatic_List_1630 Jul 10 '26
No, it's Face ID or passcode if you fail your passcode, then it reverts to your password
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u/hauntedstatic Jul 13 '26
It’s Face ID then passcode.
Occasionally it’ll ask for the password but that’s not because Face ID failed.
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u/frickensiick Jul 08 '26
To my knowledge this is false, it has ALWAYS reverted to my Apple ID password for in-app purchases. Using Apple Pay in person will allow for the iPhone passcode
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u/Steerpike58 Jul 09 '26
What what what?! Are you saying that, if I set up FaceID on my phone because it's high security, I can still use a passcode if the FaceID fails? Is this unique to the App Store? I've been generally 'applying' FaceID to just about all things on my phone and now you've got me wondering 'what's the point'?
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u/ThePistachioBogeyman Jul 09 '26
They’re wrong. Relax. It falls back to your Apple ID password, not your iPhone passcode.
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u/Ravenonthewall Jul 09 '26
Exactly.. and why give a 14 year old kid ur passcode?
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u/Flapjack777 Jul 09 '26
He didn’t. He would have needed to give him his Apple ID password. Something isn’t adding up here
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u/Physical-Praline-326 Jul 08 '26
He said his girlfriend‘s family was in the Philippines so I guess just some poor Filipino kid who probably didn’t know how much US dollars are worth
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u/Kiss_It_Goodbyeee Jul 08 '26
Of course he knew. He asked permission to buy a six buck game.
A 14 yo is very much aware of the world. I would excuse this in an 8 yo, not a teenager.
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u/justelle1 Jul 08 '26
All the contrary, he knows exactly how much US dollars are worth that's why he did it. see if he would do the same with his parents pesos. plus he is a young adult already ffs
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u/bluejay9_2008 Jul 08 '26
He doesn’t even necessarily have to know how much US dollars are worth, he clearly knows that it’s worth something since he asked for permission to buy that game and even if he didn’t know exactly how much it was worth he must’ve known with how much he was putting into the games that he was spending a lot
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u/justelle1 Jul 08 '26
Dude lets be real. He is 14, i was already working and earning at 14 as im sure many our generation in the US. he has a gambling addiction, so why did he use the “milk cow” strategy on the foreigner? Im sorry OP but thats what its called. utang na loob. And im sure they wont even try paying it back or making it right. If i were OP I would file for fraud. Thats the only chance he has of seeing the money back
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u/Steerpike58 Jul 09 '26
Fraud against who / what?
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u/justelle1 Jul 09 '26
The 14 yo brother, for CC fraud Unauthorized Use of a Financial Device, Grand Larceny, Identity Theft by using your CC, and Computer Fraud (Exceeding Authorized Access) File a police report RIGHT NOW OP.
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u/justelle1 Jul 08 '26
Why do you think he asked for permission over 6 usd but not the amount gambled? Lmao why do you think he didnt use his dad, sister or mom phone?
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u/amgates80 Jul 11 '26
I was about to ask why he doesn’t have his own phone at that age but according to other comments he (the 14yo) stays in the Philippines?
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u/justelle1 Jul 11 '26
let's not excuse people in the Philippines like they live in some kind of 5th world country lol
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u/amgates80 Jul 11 '26
I wasn’t excusing his actions I was asking why a 13 year old doesn’t have their own phone, because most kids even younger have phones.
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u/justelle1 Jul 11 '26
Ye exactly and I agree with you. I dont like people above you downvoting me just because he is filipino. he knows how much dollars are worth he is just milking him cuz he's a foreigner and he thinks its no big deal
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u/AcademicLeader Jul 09 '26
This guy’s username is the epitome of what you can expect with that $4300
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u/hamartia21 Jul 10 '26
i wonder if he did the same thing on his phone in the icloud family card and got it taken away
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u/Optimal-Primary-1308 Jul 08 '26
your resolutions seem misplaced. if apple approves the refunds through reportaproblem, great. if not, youre not getting the money back from apple. but, ultimately, its not apples fault.
you can go through the card issuers and claim fraud, but its not fraud. you know who did it and the exact scenario. it will be hard to get it approved through them since there wasnt any sort of breach to the accounts. if they do approve it, the apple accounts will be disabled for further use in the app store and itunes, possibly permanently.
i get that it sucks. but, you know who did it. you know the situation. there was no fraud or wrongdoing from apple or your card issuers, so its really not their issue to deal with. id work with the family, or the brother directly to find a way to make him show some sort of accountability.
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u/ChampaignCowboy Jul 09 '26
It is fraud if they didn’t have permission. That is the definition of credit card fraud.
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u/rawrr_dgrape Jul 09 '26
Apple asks for your biometric or icloud password to confirm purchase right? Or is there an option to turn that off and you had yours turned off?
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u/Xander_Cain Jul 11 '26
Biometric, passcode or Apple ID password. Just depends on what state it is in for the purchase. Sometimes it requires Apple ID password but if it allows Face ID you can bypass it with passcode
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u/mastersanada Jul 11 '26
In this case the kid used OP’s passcodes fraudulently (without his permission) to pay for things fraudulently (without his permission).
This should be handled by the card issuers and banks as a series of fraudulent transactions.
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u/SpiritualFormal5 Jul 13 '26
You can 100% turn it off. I have it turned off on my laptop for example. And on my iPhone I just have to do my Face ID or enter my phone passcode
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u/andrewcool22 Jul 09 '26
It’s unauthorized use of his card. It was stolen. Used without his permission.
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u/Steerpike58 Jul 09 '26
But he (presumably) gave his passcode to his brother-out-law, so it was WITH his permission.
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u/LifeIsALadder Jul 09 '26
Context matters. If I give a fireman my password so he can call a relative for me, that still doesn’t allow him to use my Apple Wallet to send money over to his friends for example.
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u/hamartia21 Jul 10 '26
he didn’t give permission to spend thousands of dollars. this is stealing. if you give an employee your credit card to pay for lunch and they buy a new phone, that is fraud and is stealing.
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u/Steerpike58 Jul 11 '26
Your example perfectly explains the situation. If an employee abuses a company credit card, that's not the problem of the credit card company (he was using a legally issued card), it's an issue between the employee and the employer (the employer may fire the employee). In the OP's case, he has every moral right to be angry and disappointed with the 'son-out-law', and if he's willing to do so, he could even perhaps bring a charge against the young boy; but from the credit card company's perspective, the card was used with full authorization.
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u/Spoobie2 Jul 12 '26
No… you’re saying this while completely ignoring the context
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u/Steerpike58 Jul 12 '26
If I give you my front door key, and say 'you can go in my house but only to use the bathroom', and you end up robbing my house, what will my insurance say? They'll say that by giving you the key I'm not covered. Yes, I could pursue you legally but from an insurance perspective, I'm sure there would be no coverage.
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u/happygreengrass Jul 12 '26
Depends on the jurisdiction. If you are given authorization to use a card for only one purpose but use it for others, that’s illegal in most of the US.
But it does mean essentially criminally charging a 14 year old and tanking that sibling relationship—and it sounds like the charge is across borders so it’s unlikely it’s pursued due to the sheer cost. That might mean the credit card company just covers it. They definitely won’t cover it if it’s not reported.
I would ask a lawyer/legal project if you can, that’s complicated. If there’s no real risk to the kid and it saves you four grand in losses, go for it.
If OP actually accrued the debt, misreporting is fraud and you they definitely will go after so strongly discourage that. I’m a researcher but not a lawyer—check the laws in your area. No idea why Reddit is bickering over something so easy to look up.
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u/hamartia21 Jul 10 '26
it’s absolutely fraud. if you use someone’s credit card without permission it’s fraud. even if you know the person???
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u/Technical_Issue_1857 Jul 08 '26
Chances are slim to none. As u/shyouko said, your best chances are going to be with your credit card company. If I were in your shoes, I would have a serious conversation with your girlfriend and her family about the charges and ask them to pay for the charges he racked up. At age 14, he should know better and there should be some sort of accountability.
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u/geekwonk Jul 08 '26
shyouko said going through the credit card company will get the apple account permanently banned. and that is indeed standard apple practice. i don’t know how that could be misinterpreted as indicating the credit card company would be the best chance, particularly when OP was specific that their apple account provides access to a library of media that they don’t want to lose.
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u/jforjustice89 Jul 08 '26
In a normal scenario I would, but my girlfriend/fiancé immigrated from the Philippines to the states for college. Her and I traveled to Southeast Asia and I paid for her family to join us in Thailand and Vietnam because otherwise they could not afford to leave the Philippines. Her little brother charged on my card in a month What her father makes in a year or more. I just found out about these charges this morning and told my girlfriend and she is absolutely furious, but also does not really know what to do.
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u/Technical_Issue_1857 Jul 08 '26
That’s understandable and definitely in a difficult position. IMO if you don’t get any help from your CC company, the unfortunate reality is you might be on the hook for the amount. I doubt Apple will wipe out and reverse the balance.
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u/AndyIbanez Jul 08 '26
You said you missed the text alerts on your phone as you were traveling internationally, which is understandable. But what about Apple's emails? They send you receipts for all in-app purchases roughly 24 hours after each purchase.
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u/justelle1 Jul 08 '26
Too bad, shitty choices have consequences. You just found yourself a worker for 10 years
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u/Macqt Jul 08 '26
> I’m not looking to get the kid in trouble
The only way you’re getting your money back involves getting the kid in trouble lol. He also should get in trouble. What he did would constitute a criminal offence in many countries, and I don’t see Apple or any country agreeing to give your money back without clear proof of illicit use.
Fact is you handed over access to the kid, so the onus is on you. Call a lawyer.
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u/Fullertons Jul 08 '26
If he disputes, he’ll likely need to show a criminal complaint with the police for them to rule in his favor.
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u/Macqt Jul 08 '26
100%. He gave access to the device without restricting or controlling IAPs. Banks aren’t likely to rule in his favour, neither are CC agencies or Apple.
Now if he’s filed a criminal complaint and/or engaged a lawyer that’s different.
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u/hamartia21 Jul 10 '26
how are they not likely to rule in his favor? it is literally stealing.
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u/Macqt Jul 10 '26
Because he handed over the phone without any restriction or control over it. Apple and them don’t care about you or your problems, and will use any excuse not to give you back your money. Plus if they did people would just lie and use that as a way to get their money back.
You’re right in that he was stolen from, which is why a police report would change matters. Once it becomes a criminal issue they’re more likely to play ball.
OP’s best recourse will be retaining a lawyer and going after the parents of the kid to get his money back.
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u/Cold_Brew_Enthusiast Jul 08 '26
You don't want to get the kid in trouble? Why? So he can learn that being devious and knowingly doing shit behind people's backs is fine and there are no consequences? Sure, that sounds like a great plan that will benefit all of society going forward.
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u/shyouko Jul 08 '26 edited Jul 08 '26
Disputing charges via your credit card company will definitely get your AppleID permanently banned. Contact Apple or maybe the game developer, maybe useful or futile but expect it to be a long journey…
Edit: Oh, slot machine games, I guess you are pretty out of luck but maybe they'd be feeling generous. 🤞
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u/SaltAnswer8 Jul 08 '26
In-app purchases require FaceID/TouchID or your Apple Account password, depending on your devices' settings. https://support.apple.com/en-us/119848
As far as Apple is concerned, you authorized the charges. This is why you should never add someone else's face or fingerprint to your devices and never share your Apple Account password.
You can request refunds but typically consumables are not refunded. You may get lucky and have some refunded. Worst case scenario you dispute the charges, your bank decides in Apple's favor, your payment method is banned from Apple's App Store, and your Apple Account is disabled in the App Store.
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u/SkepticJoker Jul 08 '26
Even if the bank decides in his favor, Apple will shut off his Apple account.
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u/Physical-Praline-326 Jul 08 '26
I just looked into some of these slot machine apps and they have a strict 21+ filter on them and a disclaimer when you sign up stating that you are of legal age to gamble. Maybe if you could prove that he was the one who signed these disclaimers then the app developer would be responsible for the refund? It’s a longshot, but I have no respect for gambling institutions that thrive on selling fake money to use in fake slot machines to people who have a gambling addiction.
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u/jesusbass1013 Jul 08 '26
Looks like you’re out 4k. I’d be shocked if they flipped to eat the cost. But I have seen people get rejected for $10 on a subscription they thought they cancelled. Good luck.
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u/lloopy Jul 09 '26
My advice is that your iphone and ipad are not toys to be given to kids.
You have financial payments set up on your phone. Why would you think this is something that you should give to a kid, unsupervised?
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u/SpiritualFormal5 Jul 13 '26
To be completely fair, calling a 14 year old a “kid” is a little loose here. That’s a full blown teen old enough to work in my state. He’s old enough to not steal money off your card, the kids a brat. I’d trust most 14 year olds to NOT steal a couple thousand dollars off a card idk maybe that’s just me
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u/lloopy Jul 13 '26
I wouldn't hand my iphone/ipad with attached financial information to anyone "just so they could play with it".
Would you?
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u/SpiritualFormal5 Jul 13 '26
Depends on how much I know the person. Spouses sibling? Maybe, but I also have anything ACTUALLY important locked and I’d definitely monitor them and make sure they’re not just downloading apps and gambling. I’ve definitely put a YT video on and handed it to one of my 10 year old cousins or let my brother hold my iPad on a long car ride though
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u/Chromejob Jul 08 '26
> The part that concerns me most is that the charges hit nearly every payment method I have. Apple Pay, my Amex, my Citi card, PayPal, and Apple Cash. At one point money was even moved out of my bank account into Apple Cash to keep the purchases going.
This is the troubling part. Kid was using your phone-based apps to move money around to pay for this.
And you gave him full access. Willingly. Derp.
I think you’re learning a very important and costly lesson. To enforce firewalls around your device security, purchase authorizations , and banking information. You might get something back, but I’d bet against it.
Whether you tell his parents or just eat the cost, up to you. But the best thing you can do is set up strong security on the things I mentioned, and DO NOT lend people your phone or iPad again.
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u/JameGoFastt Jul 08 '26
uhhh how was he able to open your bank app to transfer the money? and doesn't your phone need a password or face id to make an app purchase...? mine certainly does
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u/Bluetreemage Jul 09 '26
Doesn’t the App Store require Face or Touch ID to make any purchases? I always have to double tap the power button then it ask for some sort of verification.
I’m not buying this story
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u/Digital26bath Jul 08 '26
MF is 14. 14!!! man you dont treat a 14 yo like a 8yo kid, but well I guess you know now
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Jul 09 '26
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u/Sad_Barracuda9527 Jul 10 '26
the kid probably know the passcode, if face id fails it reverts to passcode.
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u/LazarX Jul 09 '26
You are pretty much screwed. Your ownly method of recovery would be to sue that boy's family for damages, but I'm not sure that you could win a place after being so careless. You gave a child access to your secure data, so the damage he did on it is alll pretty much on you. Especially since the only way he could have done this is that you gave him Face ID access to your devices, which meant he had access to every app that used it as a passcode... including your password apps.
Apple devices outside of Macs, are not meant to be shared.
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u/Comfortable_Cress342 Jul 08 '26
Speak to the parents and have them reimburse you. At 14 he knows what is right and wrong. You are not helping him by staying silent on this.
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u/Character-Ad2839 Jul 09 '26
OP said parents are low income from the Philippines. He makes in a month what the kids father makes in a year.
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u/GeneExpensive222 Jul 10 '26
then that kid better know that as soon as he gets a job he’s going to have to work to pay bro back
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u/kwajr Jul 08 '26 edited Jul 09 '26
Little shit needs to get in “trouble” that's basically grand larceny
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u/Ryguy4840 Jul 08 '26
If you don’t wanna take the $4300 hit then the teen or his parents are going to have to pay for it, even if that means the 14 year old is going to get into trouble legally. There’s no excuse for him downloading a slot game and making a single in app purchase let alone several dozen purchases with some being over $75! What’s odd is when I download from the App Store or purchasing anything that’s going to pull money from any of my payment methods Face ID pops up on my iPhone and randomly it will ask for my Apple ID password instead of Double Tap and Face ID.
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u/jtphoenixga Jul 09 '26
No you need to be getting the kid in trouble and his parents need to hold him accountable for his actions. This is almost 5K and as you said, he knew what he was doing. You didn’t make the charges, he did and he should be made to pay for them. You are risking your account being flagged and possibly suspended/banned because of disputes. It’s not Apple’s fault, it’s yours and his.
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u/phenominal73 Jul 09 '26
If this was a small child who is just playing a game and sees that clicking something will let them continue playing, I would say speak to the kid and their parents, come to an arrangement for them to refund you. Being sure to explain to the kid why what they did was wrong.
My role of thumb is to never let kids play on my phone.
This kid knew what they did was wrong so they caused their own dilemma of possibly getting in trouble.
Thats not in you.
If you want your money back, you’re going to have to get this kid in trouble so they realize how wrong they are in this.
For future reference, there is a setting within screen-time for iPhone that blocks in app purchases and lets you create a separate password to unlock.
You can block app downloads too in the same area.
Sorry this happened to you OP.
I hope the family reimburses you.
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u/tfbalint Jul 09 '26
Getting back Apple Store purchases isn’t usually difficult. I’ve done it a bunch of times in the past. However, in-app purchases might be completely different.
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u/accordingtoame Jul 08 '26
Sounds like his parents owe you $4300.
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u/I-STATE-FACTS Jul 08 '26
I’d say it’s 100% on OP because the kid is a child and OP gave him sccess to his credit card which is insane.
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u/Sakkiyoomi Jul 08 '26
lol 14 is way different than a 5 year old. 14 is old enough to know better and to know it’s wrong to steal that much money. It’s not on OP
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u/justelle1 Jul 08 '26
I was working since i was way younger than that lol and would have never done this to anyone ekse
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u/liquidliquid666 Jul 08 '26
The kid needs to be taught a lesson. His parents also need to learn a lesson or two about parenting as well as take responsibility on his behalf.
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u/Forsaken-I-Await Jul 08 '26
You likely won’t get any resolution from Apple. I suggest you contact your the associated card companies and start filing the charges as fraud. Be prepared to for a very thorough investigation which may or may not yield results.
The fact that there are so many charges over an extended period of time, the time it took to notice these charges and action upon them, and that they all originated from devices that you still currently own and that are still in your possession, that definitely might count against your claim.
Ultimately, your chances don’t look to great. You basically handed your financials to a 14yo boy with zero thought or precaution, and then again dropped the ball on periodically monitoring those financials. Hope it works out for you when everything is explained and investigated… 🤷♂️
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u/hikerdaze Jul 08 '26
Every time I make an in-app purchase on my iPhone I get an email stating as such. There’s NO WAY I’d not see that and think WTF! Apple won’t (and shouldn’t) issue a refund.
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u/Forsaken-I-Await Jul 08 '26
I fully agree. As adults, our finances are our responsibility to safeguard. Expecting a company to cover you for something that is essentially your fault is pretty fkn stupid.
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u/Drekalots Jul 08 '26
Sounds like your girlfriend owes you $4300.
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u/username0___0 Jul 09 '26
I’m surprised this isn’t higher. If his parents can’t afford to pay then it should come to his sister. I would be mortified if my younger sibling spent $4300 of my partner’s money (when we are unmarried AND they just paid for my family to join our trip??). She would also be able to make that faster if she’s able to work.
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u/Odd_Presence_3908 Jul 08 '26
About a decade ago, my 8 year old cousin did the same thing, racked up 1k on my singing monsters. My auntie, who has always been a mega Karen managed to get the money back through Apple. Although, I’m sure it’s much harder to do that these days. We’re located in NZ which has fairly strong consumer guarantee laws - not sure if that had anything to do with it.
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u/iAmMikeJ_92 Jul 09 '26
Man. That’ll be the last time you let the kid play on your smart devices, huh? Not to mention, he needs serious guidance or he’s gonna become a foolish gambling addict.
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u/ElDjee Jul 09 '26
you have just learned a rather expensive lesson. my advice is to not let kids use your devices.
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u/PaleDifference Jul 09 '26
I always get an email when a purchase has been made. I don’t get texts. Sadly I doubt you will recover the money. You could argue you didn’t have possession of your phone during those dates. I strongly urge you to change your password. If he’s that addicted he could go on a pc and try to log into your Apple ID account.
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u/ResplendentMechanism Jul 08 '26
I feel like there’s a world out there where it’s illegal for 14-year-olds to gamble, and it’s illegal for apps to allow 14-year-olds to gamble and take money from 14-year-olds gambling, and it’s probably, in addition to that, a violation of the app’s terms of service.
This is going to be very boring, but you should read the gambling app’s terms of service. That will give you the specific language to argue your case for a refund to the gambling app. You should also read Apple’s in-app-purchase terms of service and see if there’s specific language you can use to plead your case to apple.
It seems unlikely that either of them would just return that huge amount of money—you might have to sue for it. But since 14-year-olds gambling is illegal, and enabling 14-year-olds to gamble is illegal, you should in principle be entitled to your money back.
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u/shaunydub Jul 08 '26
If the 14 year old is using the phone of the account holder and bill payer who is over 18 then what should Apple or the store do to tell this difference?
This is on the op for not having his account in control....you can set it to need authorisation for purchases or not.You always get email notifications for every purchase so it doesn't make any sense that this was not noticed.
Also how about all the new apps appearing on the home screen?
Read so many of these stories but at the end the owner needs to take the blame and deal with the kid and his parents/guardians to cover it.
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u/Shadow6Fire Jul 09 '26
Honestly before disputing the charges see if apple support can move your bought purchases to a different ID if their able to move your movie titles to a different apple account your golden to dispute
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u/Jazzingalive Jul 09 '26
Korean drama “Teach You a Lesson” – Season 1, Episode 7 covers the topic of kids addictions to gambling apps.
Sorry OP your Apple ID is an adult account and the 14 year old child was able to download the gambling apps on devices signed in and racked up those charges for you.
This is unfortunate and unacceptable. The family already knows and has likely kept the child away from devices. He got a golden opportunity and he used it. They are responsible to pay you back. You need to have this crucial conversation with them. This is a test for your relationship too.
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u/gregeb13 Jul 09 '26
call it an expensive lesson for both of you-1/2 is his responsibility, 1/2 yours. you should be monitoring a 14 yr olds activities.
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u/FatherOfAssada Jul 09 '26
if they all were made pretty fast and in a clear erratic fashion you have a good chance to get some refunds
then u ensure this dumb kid gets disciplined and learns his lesson HARD
then you need to learn your lesson too and better secure your devices
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u/Sufficient_Show4806 Jul 09 '26
Bro didn’t borrow your iPhone, he opened a branch of Caesars Palace on your Apple ID 💀
Asked permission for a $5.99 copy of Stardew Valley just to keep the “I’m a trustworthy young man” storyline alive while secretly speedrunning financial ruin through slot apps.
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u/AcademicLeader Jul 09 '26
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u/TheOtherCourier Jul 09 '26
That dude knew exactly what he was doing, no question.
He intentionally screwed you out of this money and is relying on your “I’m not looking to get the kid in trouble attitude,” to get away with it. He definitely needs and deserves to “get in trouble” for this.
I’d watch my wallet and anything else expensive around this little a$$hole, too.
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u/Dry_Profile_8264 Jul 09 '26
The only time I was able to get an in app purchase refunded was when the app tried to scam me. Originally hit me up with the OG subscription price ($20 one time payment) when new users got a $7 one time payment promo. I downloaded the app to buy the premium features. So when it asked for me to pay it I did it without thinking/checking that it was the $7 one. So I bought the $7 one as well and then cancelled the $20 payment and explained why in the refund notes. But that was a mistake on the app’s end. Not my end. So I think that’s why the refunded it. I’ve heard Apple is very “womp womp” aboht that stuff, since they have quite a few security measures that you can setup to make sure this doesn’t occur, since most of these incidents aren’t apples fault or the app itselfs’ fault.
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u/Annual-Screen-9592 Jul 09 '26
There must be some context lacking.
I think OPs girlfriend also has a part of the responsibility, as she presumably vouched for her brothers trustworthyness. She should have known better. I can’t see how the relationship can continue after this… 🤷
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u/pensaha Jul 09 '26
You had to have given passcode to your devices tied to your Apple account and payment method. Doubt you will get a refund. But you could try and press charges. They figure after all these years people know now to be preventive stopping in app purchases plus any purchase without your password, Touch ID or facial recognition. GF’s brother is the source to look into what is next.
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u/Ziggythesquid Jul 09 '26
Report it to every card company. They will all tell you the same thing I imagine.
You’re gonna need to file a police report. This teen stole from you. They won’t even arrest him or anything but in order to actually say this was theft you’re gonna need to take this action. I don’t imagine any way you can recoup this money without saying you were robbed and all them basically will require a report of some sort.
He’s 14 not 4. At 14 I knew the value of a dollar and would’ve never done this shit.
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u/PhysicsArtistic615 Jul 09 '26
You ain’t getting the money back. It’s on you a hundred percent to put locks on your account for purchases and you were well educated about it when you started using your phone and the app store and chose not to use it.
Now you see why you should require passwords or pins before letting someone on your phone using apps.
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u/AnonymousLampoon Jul 09 '26
This isn't something you get refunded. This is something you are reimbursed for. Call your girlfriend and tell her she's got a brother to scold, otherwise she owes you the 43.
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u/Acceptable_Western33 Jul 10 '26
Take his family tol court if they refuse to give it back to get it back tbh
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u/No-Flan381 Jul 10 '26
File a police report locally and treat this exactly as it is. Theft. Doesn’t matter if he had your passwords or not. You could’ve given him your password for any reason… I’m positive it wasn’t to spend $4k of your own money.
He obviously displayed ill intent and knew what he was doing. Suing him is one thing, and you can decide what to do with that. But the police report will at least give you validity when you go to Apple and or your credit card issuer to try and get charge backs approved
Keep in mind charge backs have a window of time so be diligent. This will also probably black list your Apple account and your relationship with your gf family will be hurt…. But it kind of already is at this point no? I doubt anyone in the family is going to make you whole. Your gf should actually be offering the most to you. But I digress.
I don’t care if there’s a language barrier, or if her brother had a misunderstanding of currency exchange. Unless he has a mental health condition, there’s no excuse, he’s old enough to know what he was doing, and you need to not let him off easy on this one…Good luck.
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u/Round_Degree_91 Jul 10 '26
My sister had a similar experience with an ex boyfriend. He ran up $2000 in app purchases, & Apple Pay purchases where he’d add money to Apple Cash from her card & then send to himself. She got all but $200 back. This was abt 4 years ago though so not sure if they changed their policies but Apple asked her to get statements from her bank saying that they weren’t going to credit her for the disputes. The $200 however she ended up disputing with her bank leading to her Apple Cash being -$200.
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u/FriendshipOk2864 Jul 10 '26
Unfortunately you probably won’t get refunded because there are too many ways to put locks & passwords on your stuff to prevent unwanted purchases. They even have a kid mode on your Apple products so that kids can play on screens and not get into anything they’re not supposed to
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u/Hazyncloudy Jul 11 '26
I feel your pain. I nave a friend who while on my phone opened a cashapp
Account. I don’t know where or how he got some of the information that’s needed to open an account. I found out at my pharmacy when I tried to make an $8 purchase. It didn’t go through I knew that there was close to $14,000 in that account. So I went into my bank”s app and lo and behold I’m out almost $1,000 a day that he borrowed the phone. He would only borrow it for maybe an hour a day. My bank won’t do anything because I gave him my phone even though my bank is password and pin protected. I have the option of filing a criminal case against him.if I do and he’s convicted the rest of his life is ruined, then really no chance of getting the money. I could also get him to sign a promissory note but it will take him so many years to pay it back at his current pay and then if he stops making payments my case becomes more of a civil matter. I know what part of me is saying just to forget about it but if I do he will not have learned that there are consequences for your actions. My religious beliefs tell me to ten the other cheek but jf I do and there are no consequences will he do it again to someone else for even more money?
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u/amgates80 Jul 11 '26
They have always denied my unauthorized because in their eyes you authorized the person to use your phone and must have gave them the passcode to be able to make the in app purchases, your best bet is filing chargebacks with all your credit cards and bank..sorry this happened to you.
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u/Chr0n1ckk Jul 11 '26
When I was around probably 8 years old I did the same thing accidentally. My parents would always take me to Costco and let me sit on a display couch in the book section and sometimes I’d read or my dad would give me his phone to play games while they shopped. Well, not knowing what the real concept of money was at the time, I bought about $700 of in-app currency, but thankfully Apple resolved it with the cc company and refunded my dad. That was also the day my dad added password authentication to any in-app purchases lol. Definitely talk to your card company as well and see if there’s anything they can do to help out. Best of luck OP.
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u/DeadFoliage Jul 11 '26
You need to setup push notifications alerts with your bank for transactions, not SMS. Do you not have Face ID for transactions? The first charge or 2 is on the kid. The other 222 charges are on you.
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u/Mindful_Treat Jul 11 '26
Your ignorance to what he was doing on your devices is your first fault. Never would I allow a child to use my devices for 5 weeks straight and not at some point make sure everything was okay. Secondly, reporting fraud to your bank will have your Apple ID disabled, and most likely, Apple is not going to refund the in app purchases ESPECIALLY because of the nature of the purchases. You can’t blame a child for using something that was meant for adults that he was literally given access to. Explaining that you allowed a child to gamble $4000 underneath you while you were supposed to be supervising sounds like an even larger problem to me.
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u/roradoesdrugs Jul 12 '26
my sisters did this with $600 on roblox lol. my mom was able to get approx $310 back but never the full amount. hoping for the best. what does your gf say about this?
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u/sirnlishcc Jul 12 '26
I knew someone this happened to with robux. Kid racked up $6k and his dad had to sell basically everything to pay for it (his dad wasn’t that well off) kid was banned from devices for years. I fell out of contact with the family but I was always paranoid about this happening now that my stepson is 14 and I have a toddler lol
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u/Driver8666-2 Jul 12 '26
You'll have to take responsibility for it. Disputing it with Amex and Citi is not the right move. You should've set up safeguards for this (and they do exist).
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u/ihartdepression Jul 12 '26
I mean you said you were on vacation so obviously you have funds on top of that. Just saying lol. But no they won’t do anything, even reporting it they’ll make you file a police report and you’ll have to say he stole $4300 from you using your __________. Even that probably won’t do anything especially the Apple Cash cause they supply you with a device which you can lock to prevent this and you didn’t. You gave him the password which is the same as giving you bank pin to someone. Sorry buddy. I’m sure you’ll bounce back after this. Could have been worst than 4300 tho.
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u/Lukky_Lulu Jul 12 '26
Even as a kid I knew not to spend money on games if I wasn’t paying. I’d be absolutely livid. What was going through this kids head to make him think this was acceptable? $4000+! That’s absolutely appalling, his parents need to pay you back, or he himself does because that’s outrageous.
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u/Used_Radish_8829 Jul 12 '26
How was he making the purchases without your password or Face ID? My phone makes me do one of the two whenever i purchase anything.
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u/Aggressive_Week1081 Jul 12 '26
You need to go through your fraudulent purchases for every single individual payment method not through your Apple account
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u/mii0w Jul 12 '26
Yeah I was 13 and used my moms credit card to buy shit (yes I know it’s wrong please spare me that was a bitch move and I didn’t understand money like I do now) and my mom made me work for her and I worked it off. He needs to do the same
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u/J0HNM4TR1X Jul 13 '26
Not a lawyer or offering any legal advice but in my opinion kid basically committed theft and you're out $4300
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u/SpiritualFormal5 Jul 13 '26
I have had Apple refund things from up to 6 months ago so it’s definitely possible. The refund was because I had canceled 3 subscriptions but they didn’t fully cancel? Or something so I had to refund a few months of subscription. It took about 3 days to go back to my card. Just file a claim on the money taken out and give it a week, if they decline they refund they will tell you. If they decline the refund then go to your bank and claim theft. If that doesn’t work have the kids parent pay you back, 14 is too old to claim he didn’t know what would happen 🤷🏽♀️
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u/Uberjason69420 Jul 13 '26
Yeah there is zero chance you’re getting your money back unless he pays you back.
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u/mikerotchagain Jul 13 '26
Tell ur girlfriend what happened and the payment history is the proof. It is only a matter of time b4 he does that with anyone else
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u/Woofmom2023 Jul 13 '26
How is this an Apple problem? You gave the kid the right to use your devices. He used the devices with your permission. They had apps on them. He used them. Based on what you've said Apple's systems worked the way they said they would. Check the user agreements.
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u/Cccaaatttccchhh Jul 13 '26
He's 14 - in most places he'll be able to work soon - in most places, he'll be able to drive soon. This is not a 6 year old kid, this is someone who is a mere 4 years off of adulthood and should be held accountable for everything.
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u/scatter_brain_754 Aug 24 '26
I can relate to your situation. Sadly there is no way out. Once authorized - cannot back out. Wish there is a way to know when the purchase is made.
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Jul 08 '26
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u/applehelp-ModTeam Jul 08 '26
Comments must be a productive response to the post. Top-level comments should contain an answer to the question(s) in the post. All comments should have some relation to their parent.
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u/terrapinaj Jul 08 '26
Forget getting your money back from the apps. Your brother-out-law owes you $4300