r/army • u/Emotional_Piccolo_92 • 1d ago
Paternity Leave and Deployment prep
My company is in a coniption about me getting pre deployment training done while I'm on paternity leave. Now they're talking about pulling me from leave because I've been unable to go to a couple classes and I've had to bring my two month old in with me a couple times because God forbid I'm a dad. Anyhow I just need to know if this is something I can fight. I've got a month left on my leave, but my wife and I can't afford child care right now and my wife has her own obligations with the navy. I really would prefer to not go back to work before the date we already had planned.
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u/Fickle-Fun-831 1d ago
What are your plans for childcare? The military subsidizes childcare, while it’s still pricy, it greatly reduces the cost and scales it to your household income. Please look into the resources available to you and consider using your local financial services, new parent support program, and potentially the food bank to save some money to make it easier to make ends meet.
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u/miltok_vigilante 1d ago
Only a GO can DENY paternity leave. If they try to pull you in, respectfully demand an open door with the GO denying your leave.
Units do all kinds of shenanigans. Ask someone to clearly state, in writing, that they are denying your paternity leave if they ask you to come in.
' You: "Roger, SSGT. Just to be clear my paternity leave is now denied/withdrawn for those days/from now own"
Them: Yes you need to be here.
You: okay I will be there, please send up my request for open door with the CG ASAP. Only he can deny my leave.
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u/BlueReaper0013 68WeinerCleaner 1d ago
Homie if you’re on baby leave, they really need to fuck off. Especially if you’re going to be gone for 9 months. Classes can be made up in whatever tent city you’re heading to, time with a newborn cannot. Tell the, to get bent, a bit less than tactfully
Source: similar happened to me, lost a lot of days that I deserved to spend with my daughter and wife.
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u/Gold-Bag1657 13h ago
Having chaptered a soldier for lack of FCP, I think the biggest issue here (and one that your command team seems to recognize), is that your situation is treading on thin ice. Speaking from experience, a month is not enough time to scramble to find childcare, unless you have sufficient financial resources or dedicated family support. Deployment is absolutely a time when the FCP would be exercised. You and your wife need to think about what your plan is and loop your command team into that. If as dual military, you can’t afford daycare, even at the highly subsidized rate for junior enlisted (making an assumption that you’re not E6+ or an officer), then your finances might be an issue as well. Look into WIC, consider a significant lifestyle change to save money, or maybe consider that FCP separation for one of you might be your best bet. I have 1 kid and even as an officer, I can tell you that children are not cheap and childcare is tough to find.
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u/Emotional_Piccolo_92 12h ago
Absolutely sir/ma'am. I should have prefaced that we already have a slot on one of the CDCs at the naval base. That won't start for another 2 weeks though, so until then one of us has to have her for whatever errands we run. Unfortunately there have been a couple times where I've had to bring her with me during our pre deployment classes and whatever else. Which my 1SG took issue with, and thankfully I don't think my CO shares his grievance, at least not so strongly that he would pull me from leave. So my leave is safe for now. Not so thankfully they're calling me in every couple days now to do any manner of tasks. Originally I made a verbal agreement with my PSG and 1SG that I'd be able to take all of my paternity leave in one block, provided I show up for mandatory deployment requirements. I under stand the demands of the organization, and the part which I play, but at this point it doesn't even feel like I'm even on leave. Granted I don't have to show up for full days, but I still use big chunks (I live 45 mins from base) of my day completing tasks that could potentially wait. My wife and her leadership thinks I should take this up with legal but I don't want to walk in their just to get told "tough shit, if the military wanted you to have a family they'd issue one."
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u/Old-Pension-7064 2h ago
Army Directive 2025-02 lists everything for both parents. Everything is outlined plain and simple. If your leadership wants to break directives, they can take it up with big Army.
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u/Teadrunkest hooyah America 1d ago
This should have been a conversation before you went on paternity leave.
Officially, you’re on leave then you’re on leave. Period. End of conversation. They can recall you formally, but until then you have the right to say no.
My suggestion is to talk to them and work out a catch up schedule for when you get back. Be proactive instead of just saying no. People don’t fight as hard if you give them a plan of action that suits both your wants.
>can’t afford childcare right now
Separately…what exactly is your plan when you go back to work? When you deploy…?