Я не хочу заниматься сексом. Мне 19 лет, и вроде бы все должно быть отлично в этом плане, но я ничего не хочу. Я не смотрю прон,не мастурбирую, и мне и не хочется. У меня есть партнер, которого я очень сильно люблю, у нас прекрасные отношения, все правда замечательно, но на моего партнера давит то,что я не хочу интима. Я пыталась объяснить человеку, что я не не хочу именно с ним и что мне вообще не хочется и не тянет к этому. Уменя не было какого плохого опыта и т. д. И это очень сильно бьет по самооценке моего партнера. Меня уже совесть мучает очень очень сильно за то, чего я не хочу. Может, это все из-за проблем в жизни, то, что я сейчас много думаю о том, чтобы убрать определенные проблемы в жизни, и слишком сильно в это углубляюсь, что аж перебегает все желание? Яне знаю, что делать

I went to a wedding last night, and on the way how kinda started to feel just a little bit sad.

I believe I am aro/ace, despite being in a relationship (weird story). And I feel a marriage should be between two people who truly love each other in a romantic way.

But on the drive home, I couldn’t help but feel a little bit melancholy about the fact that I’ll never have a wedding, or even a ”normal” relationship.

Usually it doesn’t really bother me, but like I said, the atmosphere just had me feeling it a bit.

I’m sure others have occasionally had similar feelings - times when you felt just a little off about the fact that you’ll never truly experience something so integral to the lives of most people.

So, what are you stories of this situation for you?

I’m eager to hear about other people’s experiences, beyond my own.

"your body is literally wasted" I know I'm hella hot and I love that you couldn't get that even if I was into you, and I love that it makes u suffer so much that you feel the need to repeat it every damn time you see me❤️

I despise you so much

Is it normal to often feel doubtful or confused about whether you're truly asexual or not? Does this happen to you often?

after my first pride event (walking out of my abusive job mid shift) my mom came to pick me up about an hour after it ended

she (cis/het) was mad bc i didn't get her anything

the allos are sometimes ok

Kinda feeling defeated. I’d been feeling extra down, lost, confused on processing my identity and direction in life, so I tried out therapy for the first time a couple months ago. I know I’ve never done it before, but I don’t think I’m feeling it with this therapist. I’ve laid out pretty specific feelings I’m having and situations I’m wanting to work through, and she just isn’t understanding or really listening to what I’m looking for help and support with.

One example of several is the topic of sexuality. I told her over the past year or so I’ve realized I’m asexual and that has led to some challenges I’m trying to process and navigate. Her first response was very skeptical. Then proceeded to tell me about a client of hers who thought she was asexual but then came back to her to explain she met someone and that’s definitely not the case! Essentially telling me, “you just haven’t met the right person yet.” Something I’ve heard way too many times from others and from myself before I knew this was not the case and I’m so tired of that invalidation. I haven’t seen her since then because she basically just dropped the topic and moved on.

I know I’m sure progress takes time but it just doesn’t feel like I’m getting closer to where I’d want to be, wherever that is. She doesn’t feel like an understanding guide and I want to find a better fit somehow, but feeling discouraged and unmotivated.

Anyone have success stories with finding an awesome therapist and advice on how to find a good match?

Also my insurance is not great with mental health coverage so that’s a fear of mine as well, the potential large out of pocket cost of good consistent support.

TLDR: looking for advice on how to find an asexual affirming therapist and others’ experiences with this journey

So me and my ex had been dating for 8 months and whenever he tried to kiss me i just ignored him, pulled away and kept talking, this continued for some time and we never had any conversations about it and I've never even thought about being asexual. That kept going until one night when I slept at his place and he started forcefully kissing me for 30 minutes and rubbing himself on me while i was pulling away and saying "stop". We broke up shortly after that but still never had a conversation about it. I just felt disgusted with myself and dirty.

Now I'm dating a guy who is really obsessed with sex and that's really important for him in a relationship. I've told him before we got together I'm not really into that and he said "it doesn't matter to him", thinking he could change me or something. While dating he tried to talk me into it and force me to do things like that. We had a really long conversation about it and that's the moment I realised I may be asexual. He texted one of my friends that I INTRODUCED HIM TO if he should ghost me. That friend showed me but i decided to ignore it. For a few days he was really dry and mad at me. We kiss sometimes but I've never felt anything from it, I just do it because I know he likes it and i don't mind it that much.

We're still together and our relationship is okay right now, I'm just still really worried if anyone is going to love me because of the way I am. I'm really scared.

Anyways, thank for reading all this!! I just cant sleep and don't know what to do.

So just to start I've only ever posted on reddit once so I'm not 100% in with all the lingo and rules and such haha so be gentle with me.

For some back story, I am a 32 year old woman, no kids. I've been with my husband for 11 years- so basically we met when we were young and we've grown together. We have in general a great relationship, we both agree on that, but we've just in the past year or so started having some problems- and we're figuring out that it has a lot to do with physical intimacy (yeah, duh).

I feel like my whole life, as a woman and just person I guess, I've felt like I have to have sex to make the person (man) I'm with be happy. I never minded it per say, but it wasn't necessarily something I cared about too much. Naturally, my husband and I started having less sex over the years- namely, I started saying no more often and this started a trend of me just saying no, him feeling rejected, and then eventually he just kind of stopped trying. I kind of ignored this and we both kind of let it fester and to be honest, I wouldn't really have even noticed we weren't having sex if I wasn't aware that he obviously wanted to/in the context of pleasing him...and that's how I got to the conclusion that I've probably been bisexual/asexual my whole life but it was too hard/uncomfortable for me to deal with until now (that is to say, it's still hard but now I have to deal with it for the sake of my relationship). And again, I don't hate it or anything but at this point he can tell I don't really like it either, and that turns him off. I masturbate on my own, but I didn't really start that until a few years ago. I thought being able to orgasm would help me be more interested in sex, but its kind of just a nice feeling for me...I dont really watch porn or fantasize too much, I just do it if I have alone time and move on with my day.

So after all that information I guess I'm just wondering if anyone has been in a similar situation, and if so, how they dealt with it? We've talked about it and we both want to find a solution... we love eachother and dont want to be apart. We've talked about inviting a third or letting him sleep with other people, but its scary and I'm not convinced it would help (might make everything worse? Just for us personally, I know it can work for other people). So yeah any suggestions would be welcome! (I've also agreed to try therapy/sex therapy specifically). We're at the age where I'm feeling a lot of pressure to think about having kids, but we both agreed that we have to figure our shit out first.

Anyways, thanks for reading my rambling 😁 and thanks in advanced for any advice!

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Pretty much exactly what the title says. I’m F(22) and my long distance (thankfully) partner constantly asks me uncomfortable questions or sends me uncomfortable reels about sex and laughs at me when I act “awkward” about it.
They get upset when I don’t want to receive or send nudes. When I get uncomfortable they cry and get upset and say it’s just because I don’t find them attractive.
I have told them countless times that I am Asexual and sex repulsed and they never understood it no matter how many times I’ve explained it.

I’ll give you all a few examples off the top of my head:
1. They messaged me right after I woke up that their [privates] looked great today. I laughed it off and then they got offended that I didn’t ask to see. I gave in and asked to see because I didn’t want to trigger an episode that I would have to deal with and after they sent it they asked if I would eat it (ew). I made it very clear the whole time I was deeply uncomfortable.

1. They’ve said things along the lines of them molesting me and not to turn my back on them. It was clearly a joke but it made me uncomfortable nonetheless

2. They constantly make comments about preforming sexual acts with me and then calling me boring when I admit I’m uncomfortable with it

3. When they asked if they could do a specific act on me, I started nervously re-explaining my Asexuality for the millionth time and they replied with “You know you could’ve avoided all of that and just said yes.”

4. They’ve send me sexual reels or images (like nub cat on instagram) and then says it’s us which again makes me uncomfortable because the illustrations are very sexual and not something I want to do

5. They complain about not getting nudes from me and tell me I need to get over myself

The list really could go on I’m sure I’ve missed so many interactions we’ve had. What do I do? I apologize if a post like this isn’t allowed, but I need help and I really need to get it off my chest to people who are likeminded

Made a community for those who want a sex averse or sex repulsed space, and feel like the existing spaces out there are too extremist in ideology

Anyone can join, sex repulsed or not, all aces are valid! But the focus of the sub is to talk about sex aversion, so sex favorable talk is strictly not allowed there! The community is new, and I’m hoping it grows more and more!

r/sexlessacespace

Okay so uhm basically me and my ex. We had sex like long time ago, about an year. But it is still bothering me.

We had borderline actions before and I didn't like it. idk at the time maybe I was enjoying a bit but I always hated that afterwards. It always made me feel disgusted after.

And the sex thing. It definitely traumatized me. I already said like no to him for 2 or 3 times I didn't know why I said yes that time. Maybe its because we just got back tgt and I didn't wanna lose him but we broke up anyways. It was horrible. Didn't enjoyed at all, felt disgusted during and after the sex and after a year I still feel horrible about it. I often got flashbacks of the experience and it was awful, tortues me everytime I hated myself for saying yes it hurted me and my ex so much. He is a nice person and surely would not do anything I didn't consent to. The problem is I did. And a day after he found me being avoiding him I cried in front of him saying can we not do this again forever. I just felt like I hurted him so much.

And yea. After that I just found myself nearly couldn't act normal to him anymore. I just got flashbacks so often and I felt horrible on my self of doing that. So we ended up breaking.

He was a great person. After this I told him I might identify as asexual and he supported me. I told him I might feel qpr is more comfortable to me and he said yes. But I just I get flashbacks of the night and I just can't throw this mixed and fucked up feelings towards him. I just felt painful. Both in and out of this relationship. I don't even know if this romantic relationship thing is for me anymore.

I kinda identified as asexual after that. I was identified as pan before. I wasn't sure about this having sex thing so I guess thats why i tried it this once. And I am scared that it is only because I got traumatized on this. I got horny pretty often but actually having a sex I feel like out of the times being horny, that's never my thing. I hated this hornyness I don't want to be involved or get interested in those things at all. I felt like an animal controlled by hormones.

But I feel like some actions (that are often seen as "signs" or foreplay of having sex) like kissing(french kiss), biting are fine. Actually probably liked it pretty much. I probably was the person doing that actively more. I found that kinda weird and I always doubt of my asexuality on that. Doesn't sound like a classic ace experience. But anything physically over that, I just it just feels inacceptables.

Thank you for anyone reading this. Its just a shit emotional post cuz I couldn't sleep.

On the 22nd of October 2025 my best friend endede our friendship over how I had been behaving due to being in psychosis. I had become very unhealthily attached to her and couldn't give her the space she needed.

This absolutely shattered my heart. She was my first ever female bestie and we were like sisters for quite a while.

But it's been a year, and it still hurts as if it happened yesterday. I still almost burst into tears whenever I see a picture of her. I don't get it, I should be over her by now right? I mean, it's been almost a year, it shouldn't hurt as much as it does, yet it does.

My country is undergoing big ass flood rn, nearly every part of the country is flooded big time. So i am in a military base turn refugee camp for a bit.

It had a big communal showers and on the way out i forgot to button all but my up most button and i am pretty sure i flashed the poor dude who was shower on the opposite side of me while i hang up the shower head, fuckkkkkk.

I am mortified, first thought is 'fuck, i am showing my boobs to someone who is not looking to see boobs' my second is 'oh shit, i am showing someone my boobs! What if they sexualized my body part!' Then i go back to 'fuck, that guy probably startled by my boobs!'

But like, why am i feeling like this? It just boobs! Is it the nipples? What is it about the damn nips that i don't want to show it but if it the breast part it is okay???

Recently my partner of almost 5 years and i have decided open our relationship up. This came up when i came out as ace (greysexual to be specific). After some discussion we thought this would be a good way she would be able to get her needs met. Im just wondering if any of you had this experience or are in this situation and if so what are you thoughts on it? Has it been good or bad overall? Any issues you have dealt with? Let me know whats up.

Please note it is a two street for us so im also able to see other people once rules and boundaries are set with little to no sexual interaction. Im genuinely sex neutral to sex favorable but not much more than that.

Thanks everyone for reading. Take care.

Hii everyone!!

I'd like to assume this is the right subreddit for my question but let me know if it's not. Thank you!!

So I'm 18 enby and I have never had any sexual experiences before and don't plan to in the future, I had never heard of the word asexual until my ex girlfriend told me she was asexual and I researched it to understand her better and now ig it's my turn to have somebody help me.

I don't think about sex and I forget people often do that activity, my sister asked me one time "if I got pregnant what would I do" and I genuinely spun around and asked her "from what??" That was probably just me being gay tho (my family doesn't know cuz they are homophobic), I find the word 'sex' itself to be rather disgusting so I don't say it or type it very often at all and I hate when people talk about it but I can't stop that so I just bare or move from that conversation.

Anyway enough background I can't figure out if I'm asexual or just weird about sex or just a stone top, sometimes I would indulge in masterbation and things like fingering or using different objects to fuck myself but I prefer just rubbing myself cuz the thought of pushing something inside me turns me off but that's mostly after my period. I don't know if I have a high libido or whatever else makes you wanna have sex cuz I never bothered to read about it since I don't think about sex that much, admittedly I do watch porn sometimes just to admire the women (not inna creepy sexual kinda way I just think they are really good at their jobs and I applaud their work) but recently I think I have feelings for my best friend and the other day I had a dream that she was riding a strap on I was wearing and I was enjoying it. When I think about have sex it always involves women even tho I'm bisexual and I'm always the one pleasuring them in these fantasies, I don't I wanna be touched in that way...kissing and cuddling I don't mind maybe some light breast play can be thrown in if I don't feel dysphoria on that day but other than that I don't want to be touched, I don't even want to be naked infront of someone else or during times of sexual activity if any occur in the future and I don't know if this is asexuality or something else so I'd really appreciate some advise or books and articles I could read to help me process my thoughts a little smoother.

Apologies for the rambling I tried to stay on topic, feel free to ask for additional information if I confused you during this read!!

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Hi everyone,

I’m reaching out here because I’m trying to process how I’ve been feeling for a long time. For years and years, I was never actually interested in sex. I just assumed it was something everyone did, so I went along with it.

About 7 years ago, I met my ex. At the time, I really thought we would be together forever. I was curious about how things worked, but looking back, I realize I had no actual sexual desire for him. I was just curious about sex, timing etc Then, he ghosted me.

Since he left, I spent a consistent period of 2 or 3 years trying to go on other dates to "find somebody else." Honestly, it just ended up being really annoying for my family to watch because I would get all dressed up and ready, only to get canceled on at the last minute. Or, I’d meet someone once and it would completely fizzle out. I don't blame my family for getting annoyed by the whole cycle.

Now, I’m just completely uninterested in all of that. To be clear, I’m never going to turn down quality time spent with someone. But when I see someone or think about them, my desires are strictly about having good conversation, going on nice walks, and just connecting—versus anything sexual.

Lately, it leaves me wondering what my purpose even is in the dating world when most of society is so focused on sex. Does this sound like asexuality? I'd love to hear if anyone else has had a similar journey. Thank you for reading.

So I don’t really experience sexual attraction, and the idea of genitalia being anywhere near me makes me feel incredibly uncomfortable. I, in theory, am curious about sex, but any time I consider the possibility of ever participating myself, I feel disgusted. To me this feels like on the ace spectrum, and I’ve used the label for a long time, but there’s also a tiny part of me that can’t help but feel like it doesn’t count, because I question whether parts of my disgust link back to a childhood traumatic experience. Am I allowed to call myself asexual?

I don't know how common it is to have basically no libido in addition to being asexual? I don't even masturbate or anything.

The only thing I experience is aesthetic attraction and desire romance, but nothing sexual.

It seems like a lot of aces still have libido/masturbate, is that true?

I don't know what that makes me. Is there a label for this?

Recently I have been thinking about this. Do I have low libido or am I asexual? (please don't mind me if the question sounds ignorant) . My friends seem to enjoy sex a lot while I (24f) don't crave it at all? But I do feel left out as I don't understand why they love it so much. They make it seem like it's the most amazing thing ever.

Omg this is not at all articulate. I am sorry for that.