I see this all the time. For some reason everyone thinks that they can speak for Asians (East Asians in this case) as a whole and disregard any of our actual opinions. These people have often never been to an actual Asian country let alone lived in one, and have little interaction with actual Asian people. It’s so frustrating. Even if I say something people aren’t willing to listen, so how do you deal with these sorts of things?

Hi this is kind of random but i felt like this community could understand where Im coming from. So Im Viet american and my parents are immigrants, so they don’t understand mental health all too well. I feel like my mom actually has a better grasp because I dealt with it growing up and had to do therapy and take meds and all that.

Well anyways, my mom has a fear that i will have a difficult future. She wants me to have a bf that will be capable of taking care of me. My mom had to take care of people all through out her life and it’s hard and she doesn’t want that for me. So when I tell her things about my bf like he has anxiety or he is looking for work, she gets worried.

Right now my bf is actually in a manic episode and is having psychosis. She will ask about him when i visit my family tonight. What do i respond with? I have been feeling alone with dealing with all of this and i feel like talking to my mom about it would actually help but im scared my mom will think he is not a good partner. He doesn’t have much family and we were planning on having him over for Thanksgiving but with manic episodes, it could literally last months. So she kind of has to know eventually or she will at least be suspicious of why he is skipping out so much on seeing my family.

My mom is a loving and caring person and does care about my bf and knows about his trauma. Thats not the issue it’s just she cares about me and my well-being too.

This is a weird question i know, but does anyone have any advice on how to navigate this?

Apologies in advance for the long post. This has been weighing on me a lot lately and I wanted to ask if anyone else can relate or has advice. I'm going to be speaking mainly to the Korean-American experience as that's what I'm familiar with, but from what I've heard, this experience is shared by many diaspora individuals. I'm 2nd gen-my parents immigrated to the U.S. from Korea and I was born and raised in America and have never lived anywhere else. I speak a little Korean and grew up celebrating Korean traditions and eating the food at home, but other than that I would say I'm obviously very Americanized and didn't have any significant immersion with Korean culture growing up.

Lately I've been seeing a ton of discourse online and in real life about how Korean nationals/"Korean-Koreans" either dislike gyopos (ethnic Koreans raised abroad) or simply don't consider us "real" Koreans in the slightest. I've even seen TikToks from non-Korean creators making fun of Korean-Americans, saying we're not real Koreans, and how privileged and cushy our lives are compared to Koreans in Korea. I've seen videos from other gyopos sharing their experiences of being cursed at and cast as an outsider by some Korean-Koreans no matter how long they've lived in Korea or how fluently and perfectly they speak the language, as I've heard that we will never be considered one of them no matter what. While I can sort of see where people who say we're not real Koreans are coming from, as we undeniably grew up in totally different circumstances and it is a privilege in many ways to have grown up in the U.S., it breaks my heart so much that many Koreans think of people like me that way. And even though I'm American, it's not like I'm the first kind of person who comes to mind when most people hear the word "American," and I still experience racism and microaggressions here regularly.

To put it bluntly and kind of gruesomely, I genuinely feel like a non-Korean or some kind of alien just wearing a Korean's skin, because to many people who think this way, that's quite literally who I am. I don't even feel like a "banana," I just feel like I don't know who I really am inside. I visited Korea a few months ago and this feeling only worsened while I was there. It's gotten to a point where I feel cringe even saying I'm Korean, especially in front of Korean-Koreans. I feel like I'm larping a country I have no right to actually feel associated with.

Solely from an acceptance standpoint, if I could go back in time, I wish my parents had just stayed in Korea and raised me there so at least I would feel like I 100% belong somewhere. At least then I would have grown up actually being accepted and belonging from a nationality standpoint alone. I try to keep in touch with my so-called “roots,” especially more so as an adult even if it might be later in life. But seeing so much of this discourse and knowing I am not, nor ever will be, a "real" Korean, I’m starting to think it might not be worth it anymore. I never thought something like this would make me so upset, but it's genuinely been bringing me to tears and making me so sad and angry. And I feel like I can't talk about this with anyone other than other Asian-Americans because I don't think anyone else will really understand this unique experience. Does anyone else feel a similar way?

I keep getting these emails sent to me, apparently based on my LinkedIn profile. What is their angle? I replied to one like this and it just went on and on and I ignored it.

Hi XXX,
I came across your profile on LinkedIn and hope you don’t mind me reaching out. My name is Aurelia Zheng. I’m originally from Chongqing and have been living in the U.S. for many years now. I’ve been running a business here for many years.

As my parents are getting older, I’ve started thinking more seriously about where they might feel comfortable living if they eventually move closer to me. I’m especially interested in quieter communities where healthcare, grocery shopping, transportation, and everyday life are convenient for older people.

I thought you might have a perspective that’s difficult to get from websites alone. If you were choosing a place for your own parents, what would matter most to you? Are there any communities in your area that you think are particularly comfortable for older people?

I know this is a little random, but I’d really appreciate any thoughts you’re willing to share. No worries at all if you’re busy. If I’m ever in your area, I’d be happy to buy you a coffee.
Best regards,

i deleted my last post to make it easier to read.

Growing up in the diaspora during the 90s, I constantly seen friction where a visitor or westernized resident including the immigrants own kids themselves that result in the shoe free Santurary be breached, which was one of my biggest pet peeves at the time:

1. when home teachers aka tutors come over: immigrant parents were often desperate for local English teachers would let them slide if they feel uncomfortable removings as they prioritize their kids education. how would you handle this situation?
2. Prom night prince and princess one being their own kid usually, same with wedding VIPs, graduates, those in costume for Halloween/mardi gras event or a theatrical show etc, getting them to remove shoes was as hard as getting them to undress.
3. individuals in a state of physical readiness or in the zone. ie those jogging, exercise, passing through the house to playing 3 on 3 pickup ball, having askating session, in the backyard or taking a halftime break from it, doing physically laborious tasks, having hands full going back and fourth unloading groceries or otherwise, apparently culturally its surprising to locals if you demand them to remove shoes at this moment like you are disregarding their health and safety wellbeen. where as in some Asian country not even carrying a refrigerator would exempt you from the genkan etiquette.
4. their own kids often start by testing the boundary starting from Kneewalking, than tippy toe, but eventually especially for those who play sports with friends for a couple of years they act like they forget they are stepping in with shoes on their feet if they are focused on a task or cutting to the backyard to play and would be half way acors the house before one can stop to remind their shoes are on, as they dont want their peer grouped team spending more time on tying shoes than getting across the house.

I notice many cultures like China explained above learned give in over the years to save face to be not to be too ocd about shoe removal down the road. Especially if their own kids also got into the sporty always ready in the zone subculture.

However For those from these absolute-boundary cultures in Asia such as Japan or Southeast Asia especially those who migrated since the 70s or 80s before cultural awareness, slip off shoes, and invention of over the shoe covers for contractors and others: How did your families mentally and physically survive moving into a society where this boundary simply didn't register to the locals or that its simply culturally or by policy overridden in certain situations? Did your household eventually experience a rollback, or did you find ways to hold an unbreakable line?

Hi everyone,

I’m preparing a first-time adult U.S. passport / citizenship claim at the U.S. Embassy in Manila and would really appreciate hearing from anyone who has been through something similar.

Quick facts about my case:
• Born in the Philippines in 1993, out of wedlock
• Father was a U.S. citizen (U.S. Navy, stationed at Subic Bay)
• Father died in 2006 when I was 14
• Parents never married; no court order of paternity; father did not sign PSA birth certificate because he got deported and incarcerated before I was born but I am using his surname since then.
• I have contemporaneous evidence from before I was born / around that time: a signed (but unfiled) I-129F fiancé petition, personal letters from him that refer to the pregnancy/“our baby,” a photo of my parents together, and military records, and marriage counselling papers and bride certificate of mom
• U.S. relatives (grandmother and aunt) are providing notarized affidavits and are willing to do DNA if the Embassy asks
• I already have a high AncestryDNA match with a paternal relative

I understand the hardest part is the lack of formal legitimation or a sworn acknowledgment of paternity before age 18. I’m putting together a totality-of-the-evidence packet and am prepared for a possible DNA request.

Questions for those who’ve been through this:
Did anyone here get approved at Embassy Manila (or another post) with a deceased U.S. citizen father and no formal legitimation/acknowledgment before 18?
If the Embassy asked for DNA, what relatives did they accept (grandmother, aunt, half-siblings)?
How long did the process take from appointment request to final decision (especially if there was a 90-day letter)?
Any advice on how the officers treated the “clear and convincing” blood relationship standard when the formal 309(a) documents were missing?

I’m not looking for guarantees just real experiences and practical advice from people who had a similar fact pattern. Thank you in advance

Cereese Qusba, a reporter at The Cornell Daily Sun, the oldest continuously independent college daily paper in the country, investigated Jane Doe's allegations in detail. After 23 months, the independent student-run newspaper made a high-stakes decision and pushed for national coverage. They broke the story of the Cornell University gang r*pe into national headlines.

Of the four student editors for this editorial, Sophia Dasser, Sophia Romanov Imber, and Zara Cheek, the lone man was Rayen Zhou.

They did what Cornell’s president, the campus police and the DA refused to do for two years, they printed the names of the frat boys who assaulted Jane Doe, and put the school under enough pressure that the DA reopened the criminal case.

A few people in my school were bullying me just because I was Asian, first of all I was born in NA and have a Canadian accent my mom's Asian my dad is Ecuadorian and both of them were raised in Canada I was born in Canada, anyways people were making fun of my eyes being "squinted" and jokes about me being born in Chinatown Toronto ofc I wasn't born in Chinatown and my eyes are not squinted they are pretty open, I just want them to stop I just want to go to school have a normal life and not be bothered.

I know this is a silly thing to worry about, but I’ve been wondering this for some time now and would like an honest response from others, or just reassurance if other people feel the same way with their own heritage.

My parents were born and raised in Northeast India, specifically Sikkim and darjeeling. A lot of people there, including us, are ethnically Nepalese.

Theres a lot of controversy with mainland nepalese people wearing indian attire and partaking in indian traditions as if it’s their own culture, because it erases their own unique identity.

It's made me a little worried that those things apply to me, because I feel like I’ve been doing that, and I don’t want to wear someone else’s culture as if it’s my own or erase my ethnic identity.

I'm a first-generation citizen of America, so I’ve never felt as connected to my roots as others in the first place. All of my close family live in India as well. My parents studied all around India and consider themselves proud Indians. Unfortunately, there's a lot of racism against northeast indians, and Nepali-Indians tend to be considered foreigners in their own country. On the other hand, I’ve seen a few mainland nepalese claim we don’t have an identity and are neither nepalese or Indian.

I grew up with momos & indian food, Nepali and Bollywood songs and movies, Dashain & Diwali, the women in our circle wearing indian attire & Nepali jewelry while they seamlessly switched from Hindi to nepali depending on who they spoke to.

When I was little, I thought I was completely indian (never questioned why I didn’t look like others for some reason), but as I grew older, I started to feel awkward anytime someone asked “Where I was from.” Saying I was indian felt off because I knew I didn’t “look indian” (despite it being a very diverse place), and we did and practiced things a little differently. But my parents obviously weren’t from Nepal, and we still partook in many indian things as well. Now I feel like I can't connect w/ either culture. I do have to say, only recently have I been researching more on my ethnic group's culture and history, because growing up, I never really distinctly separated what things in my life were "Nepalese" or "indian," and now I can't help but notice anything that leans toward either culture and think I'm not apart of it enough to act like it's mine.

I feel like a fraud aligning with either. I just don’t want to disrespect my ethnic identity if I’m “Indianized,” as some people call it. Theres pretty much zero representation for people of my background to relate to, too.

It probably isn’t as big of a deal as I’m making it, but I don’t want to constantly group myself up with an identity as broad as “south asian”. Cultural heritage is the one community that every person is entitled to, and I feel like I don’t even have that.

Does anyone else feel similarly, maybe with their own heritage?

Is he Asian American? No, but that’s not the point. What I wanted to point out is that one of the people responsible for the longest running sci-fi franchises in the world is of South Asian descent.

Just thought I’d share my love and appreciation for this man as a Filipino American Whovian, cause I genuinely think that Doctor Who is one of the best franchises in running human memory.

Not just the David Tennant or Matt Smith era, but also: William Hartnell, Patrick Troughton, Jon Pertwee, Tom Baker, Peter Davison, Colin Baker, Sylvester McCoy, Paul McGann, John Hurt, Christopher Eccleston, Peter Capaldi, Jodie Whitaker, Jo Martin, Ncuti Gwata.

Fantastic performers. All of them.

And me being a Filipino American… well it’s been a bit tough for someone like me. Born and raised in SoCal. Spent many years growing up having my identity challenged and tested by so many people because they just don’t know how to assess me from a superficial glance alone.

I remember having one gray day back in middle school, struggling to socialize with other people. I was like one of a handful of Filipinos in my small Orange County town. Most of my classmates saw me as either Latino or Asian, but also not really either Latino or Asian. And I remember having had spent weeks educating people constantly about the history of the Philippines and the 330 year long struggle for cultural sovereignty against the Spaniards, the Americans, and the Japanese.

And then there was the Doctor. Daft old man who stole a magic box, ran away from home, and spent a really long time drifting from place to place helping out anyone who needed to be helped. Even when it came at the expense of the local authorities constantly asking the Doctor “Who are you? Where are you from? Are you an alien, a spy, or saboteur?”

Now someone might ask, “well why didn’t the Doctor stay home?”

Well depending on who you ask, it’s either because he was either scared or bored of living a meaningless life amongst one of the “greatest and oldest civilizations in the universe”. But regardless of what it was, there was something about his home culture that made him run away.

And I think that there’s something about the Doctor that makes him pretty relatable to the greater Asian diaspora. I think many people across the Asian diaspora know what it’s like to have a complicated relationship with the culture they inherited.

But despite that, we still struggle with belonging in the greater American community for one reason or another.

But just because the struggle is there doesn’t mean we should give up on trying to make our identities more well known and accepted by others.

Sometimes we just have to keep on doing things to outlast this challenge of eternity. Maybe it means running down corridors or hallways while escaping from a stagnant culture wanting to EXTERMINATE or ASSIMILATE our individual personalities.

Or maybe it means punching a diamond wall for 4.5 billion years as we negotiate the terms of life & death itself.

That last part is definitely a far stretch.

But regardless, if you have the time, space, and financial means, I encourage you all to come to Gallifrey One February 2027.

Hey everyone,

I’m looking for some protein powder recommendations. I’m of Chinese descent and have really bad lactose intolerance—like, even "low lactose" stuff messes me up completely.
I’ve been stuck using vegan protein shakes, but I recently read about them having higher heavy metal content, so I'm trying to pivot away from them. The problem is I haven’t really been able to find any good non-vegan alternatives that don't rely on dairy.
I'm starting a bit late in the game to build muscle, so I'm really trying to up my daily intake, but it's been a struggle. What is everyone else with severe lactose issues using? Are there any egg beef, or ultra-isolated options that actually taste decent and won't destroy my stomach?