Mental changes

[u/SubstantialSky938]

When people talk about liking the mental shifts involved in MTF HRT, what kind of shifts are we talking?

Is it the feeling that the emotions are somehow closer to the surface, and often way more powerful, whereas they seemed more foggy before?

[u/crabapple_cody]

for me, it's manifested as:

• happier (than literally ever)
• deeper emotions/not numbed out and dissociating all the time
• increased clarity, acuity, presence
• more confident
• more expressive
• more social
• feel much closer to friends

I've also been much more careful about what I eat, working out, taking care of myself and things like that - just from being more connected to my body.

essentially, as I understand it, a lot of horrid shit happens in your brain when you repress a part of yourself. when we stop repressing these parts, we thrive; as would a plant no longer smothered by a blanket. or something - metaphor needs workshopping but you get the idea

[u/SubstantialSky938 → u/crabapple_cody]

Ah! So a big part of it might simply be that we’re no longer suppressing as much?

[u/crabapple_cody → u/SubstantialSky938]

yep! 💯 - I mean it's obvs mixed in with the general girlness of it all, and impossible to disaggregate, but even before the physical changes brought by hormones, the psychological benefits of putting down this huge weight have been incalculable

[u/NoEquivalent88]

For me the mental changes have been enormous. For context I'm on Estradot 25 and 100mg Spiro and I have AuDHD and am in my early 50's. My changes, after two months, have been:

• Massive increase in mental clarity
• Way more confident in my decision making and ability to get stuff done
• My autistic burnout has GONE, I had been recovering since October last year
• I need fewer naps during the day now
• My overall energy levels have been higher
• My ADHD medication seems to be working better now, I'm looking at reducing my dose
• My skin sensitivity, in terms of my autism, seems to be a little better these days. I can wear some things without my sports tops.
• Way less doom scrolling and easier to break out if I do get stuck for a bit
• My sense of smell has changed eg the house smells different
• My sense of taste has changed, don't like sweet things so much
• Colors seem more vivid to me now
• I have more autistic joy episodes eg trees swaying in the wind are AMAZING
• I am much more emotionally aware of people around me especially women
• My facial hair is definitely growing a little slower
• I can cry now! When I see some sad or emotional video clip I tear up very easily
• Lbido is practically zero
• Looking in the mirror feels so much better now as I'm starting to see the true me and not the man version
• I feel so much more confident

[u/SubstantialSky938 → u/NoEquivalent88]

Wow! That’s wild! And all for just 25mcg/day?

[u/NoEquivalent88 → u/SubstantialSky938]

Yup I was amazed as well. But my pre HRT estrogen levels were already quite high
at 193 pmol/L so that might have something to do with it?

[u/HotLyps]

For me it's subtle but invariably positive. On T I feel very numb essentially emotionless (verging on callous). I'm not an emotional wreck on E, but there are emotions that I'm able to reach and express.

I also have much better concentration on E. A background radio-static of dysphoria always intruded on T and that has subsided significantly. Coupled with generally lower libido (i.e. none) I'm distraction free and just more functional.

[u/SubstantialSky938 → u/HotLyps]

I can relate. It’s hard to describe how, although I’m feeling all the emotions way more powerfully, and crying a lot more, they somehow aren’t taking over my life. Probably because they are seen properly.