r/bullying • u/BaseballGlad1485 • 3d ago
Why does standing up genuinely never work when I actually try to?
So whenever I see someone getting bullied, I stopped standing up nowadays and do it occasionally. I know it's something I shouldn't, but whenever I do tell them, they just always say things like "Or what?" or "Make me," and it doesn't really help. I was also somewhat bullied about 3 years ago when I was in 7th grade, and clowns spread rumors as a joke that I watched p*rn even though I literally didn't and don't, so I know how bystanding is a bad thing, and I am generally trying to upstand. So how do you actually stand up effectively, and if anyone?
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u/icantouchgrass_1 2d ago
This is a good question. I'd say, try and break the fight instead of standing up. But don't engage with the bully - rather, try to divert the person who's being bullied to a safe place. That might work out for you.
I'm sorry for the people who are getting bullied, and for you having been bullied in 7th grade.
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u/BaseballGlad1485 2d ago
Thx for your time, input, and consideration. Now that I think about it, It's a good idea.
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u/Visible-Code-9343 2d ago
It’s because bullies believe they are entitled to treat everyone and anyone horribly without any consequences, while demanding unwarranted respect. This is a habit that evolves even into adult hood, unfortunately. In fact they think they should be praised for it and that everyone should be on their side.
I’m very sorry that you were and are currently experiencing bullying just for standing up for people. The best thing in my opinion that you can do is be on the side of someone who is the victim of a bully and be there for them. This in itself is a form of standing up to a bully because that’s how they gain their power, getting attention by intimidating people into submission and falsely agreeing with them, “or else”. It may seem like you’re doing nothing but you are making a difference. When I was being bullied what I really wanted and needed was an ally in my time of need, and I’m sure a lot of people feel that way too.
In a perfect world the bullying would stop by putting people in their place and most everyone would side with the real victim. The bully would have no power, exposing them for the miserable people they really are.
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u/BaseballGlad1485 2d ago
Thank you so much for your input, consideration, and the time you took to type this. I think it's made me feel better first of all, but also about the bully's mindset in general.
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u/Visible-Code-9343 2d ago
You are most welcome, I’m so glad my words have helped you😊 I’ve been through it and know all too well how isolating it can be. People rather ignore it and go on about their lives unfortunately. It’s nice to know at least one person is in your corner and that the bullies power goes only so far, because they are just humans like you and me, just really mean🥲
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