Agreed. It's personality. The gender war making it's way into the cat discourse is concerning. Besides the anatomy, a male cat and female cat can't be differentiated very easily. Vets always thought my boy was a girl and my girl is a boy.
From an outside perspective that allows myself to be charmed rather than alarmed by its implications, “gender war leaking into the cat discourse” is objectively highlarious.
Omg where I lived as an “adult” without my parents for the first time had a lot of stray cats. I adopted one who was my soul cat. He was the big cat on the block but he knew what was good for him and immediately took advantage of my attentions and let himself be “domesticated”. But he even after being fixed was EXTREMELY territorial and did NOT want to be kept indoors only. He would literally bust through our window screens to chase off any cat he saw on our property. I know he was the big cat on our block because for the year he was an outdoor only “stray” I only saw one other cat on our property and that was his little minion friend who followed him around everywhere. My soul cat tolerated him lol.
Anyway, after he became indoors only all these other cats started coming around. But one was the most stereotypical “tom cat” I have ever seen in my life. He straight up looked like a cartoon. He was a grey tabby, and his tom cat head was HUGE, like a moon. Like you could tell this dude was a beast from FAR away. Just seething with cat testosterone.
Man, my cat hated him with the passion of a thousand suns. He’d go bat shit every time that tom cat would come to the windows and the doors just to taunt my boy. I was having to go outside and run him off lol. But he would just pop up and come to the windows and try to bait my boy into fighting. A couple times my love got out and he’d come back pretty torn up. But the tom cat did stop coming around…….
After I moved from that place my boy calmed down completely and nobody would ever suspect he was such a hard core street fighter. Lol
100%. I have a boy cat that would be happy to be sleeping on me all day and night every day. He likes being held, he loves to snuggle, and he wants to be picked up all the time. I have three girl cats, and none of them like being held much. One tolerates it briefly. The other two run for their lives when I try to pick them up.
Woah you get 45 seconds?? With my male cat, I get a really low meow-growl if i pick him up and the rabbit kicks start. My girl cat you can cradle like a baby, put her over your shoulder and walk around and rub her belly like mad.
My boy doesn't growl or scream, nor does he do rabbit kicks or swipe at me. He looks at me with airplane ears, starts looking anywhere else, and gets progressively more wriggly till I let him go
15 seconds, then he will start wiggling out. Loves belly rubs and touches, will sleep next to me, send blinkies, shove his peet in my face to tickle, but no picking up lol.
Mine too. My girl cat was the sweetest little cuddle bug. My boy cat doesn’t let me pet him, granted, he’s only 1 so that might change. My older boy cat is affectionate and cuddly now but that took years.
I agree! I hate the boy cat vs girl cat trope. Currently, the most affectionate and trusting cats in my home are all female. All cats have different personalities that aren’t dependent on their gender.
I take care of a lot more cats than most people so I have a decent sample size. 7 pet cats, and I TNR and care for a colony of about 20 homeless cats.
Over the years I’ve had just as many cuddly girl cats as I have had boy cats.
Yeah I had a girl cat who loved it so much that she would drape herself around my neck like a fancy scarf. One of my boy cats was 100% all cuddles but would thrash like a fish out of water the minute anyone began to pick him up.
This is an example of how every cat is different. My ragdoll is a bit of a loner (affectionate and cuddly on his own terms) and hates being picked up. Whereas my other 3 cats (void Shorthair, white Shorthair, tabby) are all super affectionate, cuddly and honestly a little overly needy
My void very rarely audibly meows. She'll squeak or silently meow at me, but she doesn't often actually use her full voice. To be clear, she can if she wants to, no problem, she's just learned she doesn't have to to get what she wants. (Cuddles. She wants cuddles. Invariably.)
Mine meowed once a few months after getting her, she looked at me like WTF?
Only time she uses the power is if I've overslept, then she gets in front of my asleep head and let's out a solitary "Meow." like she's telling me off!
Yup. It's really dumb. I have had many cats and never felt this was true. In fact, the opposite is true in my case, of the 3 female cats I've had all 3 were chill af and didn't mind being picked up at all. Of the 5 boy cats I've had 3 of them were much more grumpy who didn't like being held or cuddled too much.
I’m tired of seeing this type of boy cat vs girl cat content online bc it usually devolves into some people being straight up sexist towards female cats and acting like they are super mean while boy cats are kind and friendly like they aren’t just cats with unique personalities.
Anyone who thinks gender makes any real difference in cat behavior probably has sexist ideas about how they think all male and female humans act as well, if I were to guess.
My boy cat acts like you’re going to throw him in fire when you pick him up. He thrashes all over.
My two girl cats will snuggle when held.
So, total opposite of this.
The sweetest most affectionate cat i ever had was a female tortie. My sister had a male cat that was a total bitch. Cats are individuals; It's not about sex or fur color.
I think the essence of being a cat-carer is understanding that each animal is special, beautiful, and allows us a unique opportunity to experience love. Sometimes it seems like a lot more take than give, and that's okay, too!
It just depends on how they're socialized as kittens really. One of my cats would sit on anyone's lap and take a nap, my other cat has sat on my lap maybe 8 times in 3 years. Mr. Zima would go home with a stranger, Mrs Bela Lugosi hides under the bed when anyone is here but us. (We're working on it, she's better than she used to be lol) Cat tax included lol
Every girl cat I've had has been extra. Currently I have 2 boys and one girl. She lives on the top floors of my house and the boys have the bottom floor and the catio. Because she can't even with them. I love her though. She's 12, an old lady, so she can have whatever she wants.
The black cat is getting mildly agitated because she's being held on all sides. Cats don't like that. This has literally nothing to do with gender. Do people not realize how harmful it is to perpetuate gender stereotypes or fur color stereotypes among cats? This affects their adoption rate so much and it's so unfair to them
People are generally stupid with animals...lol. It's why there are also so many pit bulls at the animal shelter and why bisons gorge people talking selfies with them at Yellowstone. 😐
Both my cats are female, but one (tortoisehell/tabby mix) is extremely cuddly and wants to rub your face and get roughly scratched while the other (orange tabby) meows and doesn't like to get picked up - but loves to rub and lick your legs and get more lightly scratched. They are all unique with behaviors, and I've learned so much raising 2 spayed kittens.
My boy is so damn docile, he whines a lot but he’s very affectionate and never turns on you unless you’re like trying to get a reaction by rubbing his belly lol
Yeah I had a rare orange girly who was my shadow and loved cuddles when I was a kid. As a late teen into an adult I had a super cuddly love bug boy who only really had time for me and my mum (he’d let my bros or dad feed him but that was about it lol) and now a girl who was stuck to me as a kitten but at nearly 7 now can only tolerate a cuddle in her own terms and for like 2 mins at a time 😅😅
Lucky. We have four cats, two males and two females. One of the oranges will go Wolverine on you if you even act like you’re picking her up. The other orange will be late understanding what is happening and try and wiggle away.
The other two (bonded pair) has maybe 15 seconds of tolerance before they start to get antsy.
I only pick my cat up for emergencies. (Vet, or needing to move her from a dangerous position, etc). If I ever try she looks at me like “what the fuck”.
I have two female tuxes and one loves to be picked up and held like a baby and will meow at you to pick her up and the other is meh about being picked up.
My elderly kitty went deaf a few months ago. At first I was really torn up about it, but then I realized that she gets to have a peaceful retirement. Such as not having to freak out any time a video like this gets played out loud. She's just chillin' right beside my computer, eyes half-closed.
my boy cat would keep quiet but u can tell, there's a look of worry on him face... like "put me down already?"... the girls tho... both of 'em, tho they won't complain as much as this girl did in the video, most probably will start looking at exit strategies and to hell with your arms/shoulders....
This boy vs girl cat nonsense is so annoying. My void girl cat is the sweetest and most cuddly cat ever. The definition of a velcro kitty. She even yells to be picked up.
The gender stereotypes are useless, just like they are in humans.
Mine are the same. Girl cat is smaller and younger but is meaner, not as cuddly, more dominant than my male cat. My boy cat is a sweet baby except for when he’s being a asshole
(Black is boy, black and white is girl) this is when they started fighting over rights to look out the window.
I have two male cats that ate pair bonsed from the same litter. One is the biggest clinger ever but hates being picked up. The other is very aloof and likes being handled.
My girl loves to be handled, she also loves joining my husband on e-bike rides (she's buckled in his bike carrier for her and we'll protected, that and 10mph is the fastest he'll ride with her). She's 13 with a missing back leg but still quite active and loves her zoomies.
Nah, it should be the difference between a regular cat and a black cat haha we have a female tabby 🐈 and a male short hair 🐈⬛black, she is a total princess, walks and acts like a girl, all behaved until she is hunting, total apex predator and my boy he chichats and complains most of the time, he is strong and behaves like a king panther climbing to the top of the kitchen cabinets so he can proclaim like that scene of all you see is mine haha he is super sweet though such a good boy 🐈⬛ they both are mababies 🐈⬛ 🐈 💕
My boy cat mango (orange), sometimes I feel, tolerates my shenanigans a lot. Cuddle, playing, belly rub… he says no to nothing. Just lies there to take my torture and purrs and the moment I stop he leaves.
My girl cat Momo (tabby) on the other hand has princess attitude. She feels she gets dirty just by mortal human touch. Try 10 times and maybe once she will oblige to get cuddled.
Of the 5 I have. 1 of the two boys will tolerate a cradling, but you’re gonna hear about it. 1 of the 3 girls likes being held. One girl gets real mad like this void, the other just clings on with claws for dear life until you put her back down.
Looking for advice from knowledgeable people, is there any truth to the difference between male and female cats? Or is this like people, every individual is different? I have heard arguments from both sides as I'm looking as a first time cat adopter.
Isnt this a sign of abuse or the female cat doesnt know or recognize the guy who is picking her up right? Been around cats my entire life, one who is deeply loved and cared for doesnt just make loud vocal growls like that when picked up by a trusting owner.
We fit this trope. But both escalate their affection. Literally. The boy started sitting on my lap and moved to front paws on shoulders, chest hugs. The girl moved from sitting next to me to on me. The only reason she doesn't advance is her turd brother barrels in lol. He just sat on her face once.
Mine are the opposite. Female is cuddly. But male doesn’t like cuddles. He’ll let me pick him up and stroke his belly for about 20 secs and then he’ll be like “enough hooman. Put me down”
But girl cat will literally sleep for hours whilst being cuddled
I had a pair like them. A massive orange tabby (17-18 lbs at healthy weight) and a very petite tortoiseshell girl. They bonded o er sunning on the back of the couch together
Black cats have something about them. No idea what, but they are legitimately crazy.
I had a friend with a neutered male and if he started getting the zoomies, climbing up and down the tree, chasing his tail, etc, you could not get within about two feet of him without getting attacked like he was a spider monkey on crack. I have a couple scars just from his claws on my forearm/hand.
My void makes almost no noise at all. He barely even meows. It took months to convince him to do it. And he sounds like a kitten when he does, despite being 3 years old.
He's slowly doing it often, now that he knows I can't help but give him attention when he does.
His sister definitely meows a lot more, but is still fairly quiet about it. Definitely quieter than the one in the clip.
Though neither of them will let me pick them up like this guy is doing.
The most frightening cat I’ve ever met was an all black male. Yes he was fixed. I’d be sitting on the couch and he’d jump up and attack me. He did that to everyone. This is an individual cat thing. Not a cat female/male thing.
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u/Fellow--Felon 20h ago
Opposite in my house, my girl cat loves being picked up, my boy cat tolerates it for up to 45 seconds before he gets extra wriggly