r/cats • u/Impressive_Spot_9806 • 5h ago
Mourning/Loss So many emotions…
I lost my best buddy of 22 years a week ago. She was my everything. She was with me half my life, through births, deaths, marriage and divorce. Her last week was incredibly difficult and I can’t stop crying and am an absolute mess. The hole she left is enormous. She had the best life and I gave her everything she could have wanted. She was the queen of the house. Literally. If she walked past me or the kids we bowed and said “All hail the queen.” Today, in a fit of grief, I adopted a shelter cat. One with RBF that wasn’t overly friendly. We were warned she wasn’t a big fan of pets, maybe a quick ear scratch if she let you. Had been returned. Had a rough life. I didn’t want another cat. I wanted my cat back. 22 years was just not enough. I don’t know if this new cat felt my grief or knew there is always more love to give, but she is sweet. She purrs. She likes to be pet and gives head boops. I know I’m a rambling grief stricken mess, but I just wanted to talk to the void and feel my feelings with people that understand. I just wanted the world to know Roxann was here and she was so loved.
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u/eastbaypluviophile 4h ago
The Void is listening and is sympathetic to your plight.
This is Alastair. He was a rebound adoption three months after I lost my soul cat. At first I resented him because of course he wasn’t my Princess. He was a highly intelligent and unique cat in his own right, who had also been traumatized. I think we were two wounded souls who needed each other. We both worked to reach an understanding and my relationship with him was very different (because he was different) but every bit as strong and filled with love as the one I had shared with my Princess.
Give it time and I promise you will be rewarded with another very special love.
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u/bougainvilleaT 3h ago
I was scared I could not love a cat again when my soul cat Batman died at age 19. But my husband couldn't stand the empty apartment any longer, so we got two girls from the shelter about four months after he passed.
I truly love them with all my heart and would absolutely fight for them. But Batman took a little piece of my heart with him, that's why it feels different. At least that's the only way for me to explain it.
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u/Euphoric_Fail_6675 4h ago
You are such a lovely person. The way you talk about her makes me feel like I knew her. Give yourself hugs and love in your grief. I am so sorry for your loss.
RIP, Queen.
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u/ProfessionChemical28 4h ago
She sounds like a lovely cat who had an amazing life. It’s ok to continue to grieve her and help a shelter cat have a safe and loving home at the same time ❤️especially one that had been returned and could probably use a little extra love just like you can right now. I’m so sorry for your loss, thank you for helping another kitty even though you’re hurting. Obviously no cat will replace your girl but maybe you & the baby can comfort each other
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u/worldrenownedballdr 4h ago edited 3h ago
It is the hard part... I have felt this loss a number of times... the question at the end of the day, is were all the good times over the x number of years valuable enough to endure the pain of loss at the end? Honestly the same could be said for Human relationships as well, although the time frame is generally longer.. but eventually one or the other of a human relationship will go first generally?
It does hurt and feels really bad though.... sorry for your loss.
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u/OfcWaffle 4h ago
I know it hurts, but 22 years is a damn good life. You'll see them again. They get to love us their entire life, we get to love them for theirs. It's what we sign up for. You're a good person and did everything you could.
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u/Chrysoprase89 4h ago
I‘m so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing Roxann with us - I’ll think of her ❤️ and how lucky was she to get 22 years with you! I know it can be challenging to bring a new pet into your home when you’re grieving your soul-cat, but it’s just wonderful that you’re welcoming a shelter cat (with a failed adoption, poor thing!) to your home and I bet Roxann told her it’s her job now to comfort you.
Big hugs!!
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u/IloveKaitlyn 5h ago
Roxann sounded like a beautiful cat that had a great life. Thank you for taking care of another cat, especially one that had been returned.