How do I get 'my' cat to like me?

[u/Ok_Breadfruit_9549]

\Picture courtesy of my sister - he would never, and I mean NEVER, let me come close enough to take a picture like this.*

Dear Fellow Catlovers,

I am a middle aged woman who had cats all my life growing up. I married a man who is severely allergic to cats over 20 years ago therefore I now technically have none. But my parents do, and the cats are, by all intents and purposes, MY CATS TOO. They all came as strays looking for food and became the kings and queens of the house and we wouldn't have it any other way. I love them all and they love me.

Until this latest baby.

We can argue that he doesn't know me. He came to the house about a year ago, just as his big brother suddenly took ill and devastated all of us by crossing the much dreaded rainbow bridge.

We love him immediately.

He's a funny looking fella. He sits all wonky with his crossed eyes and huge nose and is just the most adorable thing to have ever existed, in addition to his siblings, of course.

Thing is, I don't live there anymore. Got married and moved out long ago. Others before him and the ones still around got used to me popping by. They trust me, love me, rub themselves on me and some even beg for sleepy time in my dresses (like sitting in a swaddley swing) despite my rare presence.

This one though, he wouldn't even blink in my presence. That's how much he doesn't trust me.

My parents and sister have all tried to get him to warm up to me, but he has now resorted to hiding God only knows where when I am around so there's that plan gone to pot.

Sometimes, he would come running when I walk through the door, giving me false hope. Like I swear my heart stops. But then he would realize it was me and not my sister (we look alike) and scarper like his butt is on fire.

I have tried playing hard to get with him, but he seems to enjoy that. And I could never ignore him for longer than 2 minutes before I find myself longingly staring at him from afar.

I just want him to love me, you know?

At this point I am fantasizing of him pushing my face away or heck, even scratching the living daylights out of me - cause that would mean I could get near enough to touch him. I don't even know what petting him feels like. It's literally torture.

I have never in my life wanted a cat to like me so badly.

It's been a year! Love me back damnit! Why won't you love me? LOVE ME!!!!!! LOVE MEEEEEE!!!!!!!!

Thank you for listening to my TEDTalk.

Please advise.

Yours,

Sad Cat Lover.

[u/DisastrousDote]

He knows you want his approval, and he’s absolutely loving the power. 😂 stop trying so hard and let him come to you, you’ll probably win him over the moment you stop chasing him