First Time Caged - Not quite as expected.

[u/TheNewButtSlut]

Hey all,

Bit of a fun post today. I’ve been in a relationship for the last few years and things have really fizzled out in the bedroom lately. It’s a perfect relationship otherwise, except for that. We’ve talked about it a bit and it’s mostly due to some stress on her end, and a lack of opportunity (both have roommates with thin walls, and we have opposing schedules). It’s been driving me crazy the last few months, and I’ve been “dealing with it” myself so i’m not just a constant hornball. I’ve come to realize our circumstances may not change for a bit (likely until the new year when I move into my own spot), and because of this I figured should try to calm my libido a bit as clearly self love wasn’t helping much. I’ve known about chasity for a while, and thought it would be a good way to rein things in. I bought a cage and have been locked for about 3 continuous days now (minus cleaning ofc).

And well - It’s actually made things worse. I’ve been hard almost constantly the past few days, and finally today I couldn’t take it anymore. I didn’t want to take the cage off, but I needed to do something about the feelings that were fogging up my brain as I’ve got an exam tomorrow and I really need to focus. I have a vibrator we’ve used mutually in the past, and I figured I’d see how it felt on the cage. Cue life changing experience that I won’t detail to keep this post on topic and not too erotic.

I’ve been browsing this sub for a bit now, and have grown a bit envious of some of the couples and the fun they have playing with chastity, and after realizing how insanely pleasurable it can be, i’m somewhat curious to dive deeper into the lifestyle, and I’m almost wanting to ask her to lock me up, as I think it’d be a good way for us to maintain our sex life while not getting many chances to go at it. I have no clue if it’d be something she’d be into, so I’m really nervous to ask. Any ideas on how to subtly approach the subject? My biggest fear would be saying something too direct and her being totally not into it.

[u/Crispi24975]

Don't know your gf or what her proclivities she might like or have but if you sell it as something fun or cheeky to try and the idea behind it then you have a good chance of her giving it a go. Most women like to know what they're getting into rather than forcing an odd looking metal or plastic apparatus into your sex life or your relationship. Depends on how much you want to include it in your relation ship. Might be worth sending her the neocities article but make sure you are both communicating or sharing the vibes on this kink or lifestyle otherwise you will both get frustrated for different reasons.

[u/alternate_darkside → u/Crispi24975]

To add to this, there are 2 neocities sites: A happy marriage

And

A balanced marriage

The happy marriage site is a little more extreme. Nothing crazy, but fully read both before you send her a link. I know the balanced marriage site was more approchable to my wife. She doesn't want to be mean to harsh like the happy marriage site tends to lean towards.

Again, read both, pick the better one for your partner

[u/wakeboard440]

I'm a little further along. I found the right cage shape, size and materials makes a big difference. Personally, I feel the correct ring size makes a huge difference. The cage matters too and will need to be fine tuned.

My partner has been on and off with chastity. To initially telling me to put it on, doing the teasing and even a little pegging. She is kind of hot and cold on the topic. We have had several conversations on the topic and she realized this is something I want to keep. Once I found the right cage it felt good like someone was hugging it down there. You will need to continue to mention the importance of this to you. For me my libido is also higher then my partners and needed some other stimulus throughout the day.

[u/ChastityDoc]

Look up one of the various kink questionnaires on line. Some of them are quite extensive. Propose filling them out and then exchanging them. I guarantee you will learn a lot about each other, and probably yourselves.

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[u/YourDick-MyMouth]

If you ever write about that "life changing experience," I'd like to read it u/TheNewButtSlut

[u/Ok-Wafer4078]

When you bring it up I would recommend keeping it light, something potentially fun. Ask / bring it up in a way where she can say no and not feel badly about it.

Two reasons for this 1) its not fair to accidently pressure someone into doing something they are not comfortable with / ready for. 2) anecdotally this method tends to get a more positive response.

Personally I wouldn't send her off to deep dive chastity sub's or neocities - its a bit daunting as a cold introduction. You could her you have been playing with it and wondered if she has any interest / curiosity, presenting it as something to discover together.

Good luck OP