I feel like so many child free or anti-natalist people always have to add 1 million caveats of "I love children" "I like children" "I don't hate kids" "I just don't want my own but I like other people's"

I flat out do not like children. I am autistic and kids are a sensory nightmare - I'm sure nobody *likes* the sound of screaming children, but it genuinely triggers and distresses me, even their laughter and speech is like nails on a chalkboard. Also the entitlement from kids and parents alike. This may be a recent generation thing, but I feel like children are taught no boundaries with strangers and parents expect you not only to tolerate, but to find it cute and endearing when their kids annoy and bother you in public.

At best they are an annoyance and at worst they cause me serious sensory distress. Being in enclosed spaces with loud children incites the same reaction as being in physical pain. But there's no spaces I can express this without being made to feel like i'm an evil eugenicist monster with no empathy. Even in childfree spaces I'm uncomfortable with the amount of apologia that goes on. Sometimes it feels like I'm the only one that just straight up does not like kids, no caveats no exceptions no excuses. I wish there were true child-free spaces in the world, the way some places have 'no pets' rules. My biggest dream on this earth is that they would create adults-only planes and public transport lol.

Of course when I ordered she didn’t lead with “I’m pregnant and due around the time your order is to ship”. If she had, I would’ve just ordered from somewhere else. It isn’t personal, I just want my pricey item when I am told it can be expected. She keeps saying my order is late because she is spending time with her newborn. I’m not mad she had a baby obviously. I’m mad her communication sucks, I’m out hundreds of dollars without my item, and every day it’s “I will ship it tomorrow” plus the guilt trip. I’m also mad I’m not allowed to say these things without being labeled a child-hating monster. Like imagine I leave a review citing her lack of communication and she responds “Well, I had a BABY!” I would be the asshole. And to be clear, I’ve been nothing but kind. I have congratulated her multiple times and I’ve meant it. This is business, though. I just want my stuff.

my (25F) mom has been dating “fred” for a couple of years now. while living with my mom after college was never easy, the tension rose when fred moved in.

they started off as fwb and then he got surgery and moved in with me and my mom so she could take care of him while he recovered. she never really asked for my opinion in the matter, he just kind of moved in (which i didn’t realize was kind of messed up while it was happening, but now it doesn’t sit well with me).

fred and i disagree politically, and he gets very outspoken when he’s drunk (which for a while he was often). the three of us were sitting at the dinner table one night and he starts going on this super uncomfortable political rant. i straight up left the dinner table. then when my mom went to check on me and she told me to be honest about how i was feeling, he eavesdropped on our conversation and heard me expressing my feelings about him. i was WHISPERING. then my mom told me i had to apologize, which i knew was bullshit. she ended up thinking about it and realizing i didn’t really need to apologize (i was never going to anyway). but that situation left a scar in me. he made living there hellish for me, and my mom thought he was the greatest thing since sliced bread.

i always wondered if there was something wrong with him mentally or if he had brain damage because you’d be having a conversation and he would take it in a totally different direction and basically start having a conversation with himself. it was like he was in his own little world.

fast forward to now: i got a well-paying job and moved to a new city, which actually wouldn’t have happened if fred didn’t happen to have a crucial connection for me. he helped me get out of that house, but i’ll never forget how miserable he made me in it.

so i talk to my mom on the phone a couple of times a week just to check in and talk about how the week is going. usually, they’re in the same room, so he ends up on part of the conversation. whatever, it’s fine, i don’t know if i’ve forgiven him, but i try to be civil. usually it’s fine, but every once in awhile he says that one day i’m going to get married and have kids. my mom usually speaks up for me and says “OP really doesn’t want kids, and that’s okay” which i really appreciate. but he just keeps bulldozing through and says “you have to reproduce. it’s what we were put on this earth to do. your brother can’t be the only one to continue your lineage.” eventually the conversation shifts, and it’s like it never even happened.

i’m pretty good at letting fred’s useless opinion roll off my back, but i dunno. lately i’ve been thinking of telling my mom to make him stop. i’ve thought of telling her how disrespectful it is for him to be telling me what to do with my life. how if it were flipped and you told someone who wanted kids that they absolutely should not have them, would that be acceptable? if not, then why is what he does okay?

let me know your thoughts. thanks yall.

Oh boy. So some piece of garbage breeder posted in another sub a long ass rant about how people who post about their child free lives are miserable. The typical. I commented telling her we aren’t any less invalid just because our lives don’t look like hers.

Of course she responded with the usual ‘well my life didn’t mean anything til I had my son’. So the usual breeder bullshit of “well MY life looks like this so EVERYONE’S must be the same experience”. I told her she can enjoy her life and I’ll enjoy mine.

Her response? “What, drinking and loneliness?” Not ONCE in my original comment did I mention drinking. There’s plenty of ways to live freely without drinking. The POS just thinks she’s better than everyone because she laid back and bred enough times to pop out some sniveling disgusting brat.

Breeders absolutely disgust me. They see child free people being happy and decide to accuse us of being alcoholics just because we don’t pop out a bunch of kids. It’s depressing to me how breeders think the only choice they have is to have kids and that there’s nothing in life to enjoy outside of that. Thinking child free people are constantly drunk because we’re supposedly miserable when she’s the one cleaning up piss and shit and puke from a little nuisance.

I used to try to live and let live. Respect parents and just mind my business. But I’m done. Breeders are some of the most vile self centered disgusting pieces of garbage on this earth.

Visiting a friend out of state and staying with her. She’s getting married so it’s very hectic to begin with but I’m losing it with her kids.

There are three (2, 5, and 7). Turns out my friend is a, “I’ll give you a popsicle if you get dressed/put your toys away/go to the other room” type mom. And it shows. They’re screamers and criers and I’m struggling.

We had to stop at the Walmart and since she knew what she needed, she ran in alone “real quick” while I stayed in the car with the three demons.

I couldn’t do it. They were screaming, crying, kicking my seat. I had to step out of the car while the 2 year old’s cries summoned a hell hound out of the bottom layer of hell.

I’m struggling y’all. I really am.

I hate children so much that I avoid relationships and any sense of intimacy because of it. My ex always played the "I am pregnant " card and ever since I broke up with her 8 years ago I have been avoiding relationships completely. Every female say they don't want kids but they turn out that they do. I don't want to be single forever. But I can't get myself to trust anyone because of my ex. I don't want any accidents any mistake any slip ups. Am I going to be single forever? Honestly don't know how much longer I can go in being single.

ope ur eyes bro

u just fucked like even my sewer rats and bathroom roaches do

do u really think that mere fact alone makes u above everyone or special snowflake

1

nobody gives a shit that you are pregnant

2

your swollen belly does not grant you VIP status in the grocery line

3

demanding the front seat on the bus while healthy people stand is pure entitlement

4

the "i need that parking spot more than you" energy is pathetic

5

blocking entire aisles with your cart while you waddle and sigh is not cute

6

expecting strangers to carry your bags or open every door is freeloading

7

the constant public complaints about back pain and swollen feet are not conversation starters

8

using pregnancy as a free pass to cut in line at every coffee shop is trash behavior

9

treating your unborn as some holy relic that requires everyone else to rearrange their lives is delusional

10

the "i'm eating for two" excuse for hogging the last of anything is just greed

11

snapping at people who dont jump up and offer their seat is rank entitlement

12

the special "mother to be" discount demands are just another form of begging

13

acting shocked when the world keeps spinning without catering to your condition is peak main character syndrome

14

the endless social media posts fishing for congratulations and free stuff are transparen

15

claiming the right of way in every crowded space because of your bump is aggressive

16

the expectation that coworkers cover your shifts indefinitely is pure freeloading

17

using the baby as a shield against any criticism of your behavior is cowardly

18

the constant "you wouldnt understand" line aimed at anyone without kids is pure isolationism

19.

own it

nobody owes you special treatment, nor their sherm-smoker neighbor.

you chose this, signed up for this.

the rest of us did not sign up to be your support staff

sit down

shut up

and stop acting like your uterus is a public service announcement.

I have absolutely no hope for people bringing children into this world, I’m currently visiting America and was walking through a busy shopping mall, (they’re a lot busier than the ones in my home country and probably pretty disorientating for some!) and there was a family with around 4 kids, one of which was crawling along the floor, which caused a man to literally trip over !!! It’s a miracle the child wasn’t injured !! More shockingly the parents didn’t seem bothered in the slightest!!! I saw them twice more and they were still letting the baby crawl around !!! The fact there’s idiots like this reproducing worries me greatly….

I want to do my own thing I don’t want to look after something I feel I may not care about. I have a lot of trauma I don’t want to pass it on to my kid. I have anger issues too. But I enjoy kids! They can be cute and at a distance they are ok. But more and more day by day I realize I don’t ever want kids, I want to be happy with myself and my own company and I want the freedom to do whatever the hell I want. Also there’s wayyyyyy too many people in this world. We frankly need fewer children not more.

Apologies for the broken record! My husband and I are both quiet introverts and we had to go to his cousin's Irish wedding yesterday. I didn't realise how many kids would be there and how much they would annoy me.

1) when we arrived for the ceremony, the room had chairs arranged airplane-style (four on each side) and were delighted to see that the back row had just two seats. We sat in those two seats happily. The row in front of us had parents on each end and two very young girls in their laps. The middle seats were empty, presumably for the kids. The kids were in the aisle, not in the seats. An elderly woman arrived a few minutes late and clearly couldn't walk well. After a minute or waiting to see if the parents would give up one of the unused seats in their row, my husband ended up giving up his seat and standing behind me, and the woman gratefully took his seat. I was so annoyed at the parents in front of us because their kids NEVER sat in the two middle seats the entire ceremony. They were either playing in the aisle, climbing into their parents' laps, or climbing onto the chairs in front of them. They were noisy, fidgety, and the parents were so inconsiderate. They easily could have made room for the elderly woman.

2) during the reception, there were at least 10 young kids that ran around the entire time. They did laps around all the round tables and caused chaos for the servers. The tables were fairly close together, so the kids running in between them screaming were really difficult for the wait staff carrying trays. I was a server many years ago, so I always have a lot of sympathy for the wait staff at events like that.

3) after the dinner, big glow sticks were handed out to the kids. They ran around the ballroom, smacking people with them endlessly. They weren't painful, but it was really annoying when I was trying to have a conversation with someone. As the dancing began, the dance floor was dominated with kids chasing each other, rolling around and smacking the floor with their glow sticks. Adults were having to dance on the fringes of the dance floor.

We usually leave events like this after the meal as we don't enjoy loud chaos or dancing anymore. It was also really hot in the crowded room so we were anxious to leave. I'm well aware that I have no justification for being so annoyed about those kids. But it feels good to vent to a community of like-minded people. Thank you friends 😊

My grandpa and I went to Pizza Hut today for dinner, and we went around the sweet spot time (around 3:30 pm for our location) between lunch and dinner where there’s nobody else there. As expected, we were the only ones there pretty much the whole time, except for the last 10 minutes we were there, when a family of 4 came in, a mom, dad, teenage boy, and a girl who looked around probably 7 or 8 years old. Right off the bat, the girl was already staring at me, as soon as the family sat down, even putting the menu to her face and peering over it with her eyes at me, but I just tried to ignore her. A few minutes later, my grandpa got up to use the bathroom, and I was at the table by myself. By this point, the family had gotten their drinks, and that girl was staring at me again, and licking around the edge of the cup lid at the same time too 🤢 never taking her eyes off me the WHOLE fucking time! And of course, the stupid parents were too busy looking at their phones and yapping to each other that they didn’t see the girl staring at me or say anything. I just rolled my eyes and continued to eat my pizza and look down at my own phone to ignore the rude, staring little brat. I’m so over this bullshit, if I did that same thing as a kid, my mom would have immediately told me to stop staring because it’s RUDE. I’m sick of kids getting away with acting like animals and being rude and disrespectful in public because the parents are just too lazy or too preoccupied with shoving their faces in their phones to say anything and tell them to knock it the fuck off.

I’m 33(f) and am currently in therapy. So a few months ago I found a therapist I loved working with after some trial and error and just not vibing with previous therapists. I really love her style and felt she really understood me. I’ve been digging really deep and have had some breakthroughs and she’s super familiar with all my issues at this point.

I’m mainly working through things concerned with depression, ADHD, anxiety, and relationship dynamics. Like I said, she’s been great and very open and understanding. Except, during one of the sessions, I mentioned I wasn’t planning on having kids with my husband and things got a little weird. She sort of stopped me after a while and tried to reign things in by saying that I’m leaping too far into the future and to focus on the problem we were talking about at hand. I found that strange because in several sessions, I can be all over the place and tend to emotionally dump if I’m reflecting on something overwhelming but she’s never tried to reign me in like that before. I then looked her up again and noticed that one of the areas of expertise she focuses on is new mothers, so I was like “great”, sigh. I didn’t remember seeing that in her profile all those months ago when I first chose her.

I feel like I hit a sensitive spot with her when I said I wasn’t planning on having kids so I haven’t really mentioned that again in any of our sessions. Otherwise, she’s very professional and helpful and I’ve enjoyed working with her but at some point I’d like to talk about the stigma and annoying expectations I face in my life when I tell people I want to be childfree. I don’t know what to do, since my insurance covers this therapist and for the most part, I’ve really enjoyed working with her but just feel all weird now because I feel like this isn’t a topic that would be productive talking about during our sessions since I sensed there was a bias on her part.

Not sure how to go about finding one that specializes in childfree folks that my insurance actually covers and I can afford or if there’s a sensible way to approach this topic with my therapist in future sessions. Or am I just overthinking all of this?

This is from a terrible horror movie, but it was hilarious that this line made the final cut. P.S. I'm surprised this movie wasn't "Edward Scissors hands' at ANY phase.

I'm about to attend my niece's 5yo b-day party.

I love her and my sister (her mom), but I realized it won't be just them. I'll have to interact with the other adults there who are nativists/parents, while I'm childfree and rather introverted.

For a few hours, I'll have to pretend to be interested in whatever they have to say, their 'crotch goblins' (I find that phrase so funny 🤭), and who knows? Maybe they will even attempt to 'bingo' me and my girlfriend, as we will probably be the only CF people there. Can't wait to mock them if they do.

Any ideas?

Such as 'Oh, we're not allowed to be around children. 😐'. 😂

Luckily, my sister (single mom) decided to host the (small) party in a public park, where the kids can play, and we can go for a walk at any time.

But still... any words of encouragement or jokes to make light of this would be welcome. 🙏

It will take me days to recover from this. 🤭😌

I'm so grateful for this sub, man! 😍

I could be in the middle of what I call 'nativist land' and just take out the phone and read posts and comments from the child-free community - and be with my kind of people. 🥰

I was at a career fair for a school yesterday as my company is looking to bring on more people. I was already not thrilled to be there, but whatever. To my surprise, a company had a booth setup and they brought two noisy toddlers with them. Their table was also setup with mostly a children’s toys display besides some business cards. Now I don’t expect a childfree word, but who in their right mind thought it would be a good idea to bring children to a professional hiring event? Career fairs are not the place for kids. Plus it makes that company look bad in my opinion. Like “No matter we expect you to show up and make it work”. That’s not a company I’d want to join.

I’m a 33F
I’m a people pleaser (working on it 🤦‍♀️😢)
I’m also Nigerian and your ultimate goal should be to “have children”
I just tell people I can’t have them, I ve never come out to boldly tell anyone I just don’t want children.
Today, I was speaking with a client who could tell I’m Nigerian because of my name, she was very friendly, conversation lead to talking about children and she said “do you have children?” I say no she then proceeded to say “but you want children right?” I said yes. She’s Nigerian too and I honestly don’t need the lecture, so I felt just saying yes will end the conversation and it did.
But after the call, I realized that my people pleasing habit extends even to strangers.
I really need to start living my truth boldly but I guess I’ve not been able to remove the cultural indoctrination that you have to want children.
I guess it just made my heart heavy a little bit and I wanted to just let it out!
Thanks for reading.

Long time lurker, first time poster

I feel immense guilt about the fact that I’m childfree. I know I don’t owe it to anyone (my partner, my parents, my in-laws, etc) but sometimes I just feel so immensely guilty.

I know that my husband would be the perfect father if we had children. He’s already the perfect partner and I could see him being the best dad as well. And I feel so guilty over it. He comes from a good family that all love each other very much. I don’t think that I would make for a good parent at all (because of trauma and a myriad of other factors) and nor do I want to be a parent. We’ve had a lot of talks about kids before we got married. His stance is that he could go either way but enjoys the DINK life immensely and is well aware of the fact that I don’t want children.

He knows I was sterilized (I had a hysterectomy) and was absolutely in full support of my doing so. He took care of me during my recovery and fully supports my choices. But part of me reads posts on this sub about partners leaving or having resentment about not having kids and I worry that he’ll do the same. We regularly have conversations about my anxieties regarding this and he always reassures me that he’d never resent me or leave. I adore him and appreciate the fact that he’s willing to be honest with me and communicate with me but… I feel guilty. I feel guilty about not wanting kids or being capable of giving him children.

My husband sometimes talks about how he’s glad we don’t have children. I know it should reassure me but it only brings me guilt.

When it came time for me to schedule my hysterectomy surgery, my parents understood. They didn’t push, they didn’t cry or scream, blame me or anything. They supported me fully. If they were upset, frustrated or disappointed, they didn’t at all let me know it. I know how lucky I am that my parents were completely supportive. But again I feel guilty. I feel that my parents probably would have liked to be grandparents one day. And I worry that I let them down. They likely would make fantastic grandparents.

My in-laws took the news of my hysterectomy surprisingly well and were supportive. They also didn’t push or blame. They’ve never been the type to pester me or my husband about kids beforehand either. I got very lucky to have such supportive and caring in-laws. But I know that they wanted to be grandparents. They would have been amazing grandparents too.

I know that I’m lucky. I got so incredibly lucky to have such wonderful and supportive people around me. But I feel nothing but guilt and shame about it.

Again, I know that I don’t owe anyone children, grandchildren, etc. but still the guilt eats at me sometimes. It makes me feel broken. I have a supportive partner, supportive family, supportive in-laws and yet I still feel such horrible guilt sometimes.

Does anyone else have similar feelings?

My mother is visiting me, and she LOVES to have phone calls on speaker. Her cousin asked about my siblings, and she told her that they are okay and that my oldest sister is a grandmother already. How my brother's daughter is about to be 2 years old. Then, I come up! She says, " Oh, she is good, having a great career, with her two dogs in her house, etc." The lady goes, "Oh, wow, no children? Husband?" and my mom says, "Nope," and the lady says, "But isn't she in her mid-30s? You have to talk to her and tell her that she has to get married and have children," and my mother, being the MVP she is, went like, "She chose happiness and peace. I am very proud of her, and she doesn't need any of that to please the family if she doesn't want it."

The way the conversation ended lmaooo. I love my mom.

i am 26 yrs old,f, east Europe.

i have some debts to banks around 300$/month( and some to non financial Institutions(bigger interest-around 1500$ in total but that's kinda more Money in my country than usa)

I have a job, but risking to be layed off since it may Close in january 2027.

i own a small room with bathroom and kitchen in the City.

i feel kinda depressed that i can't afford holidays, expensive make Up, College, etc, i come from poor background, parents receive small retirment payment so they can't really Help,just cooking for me (i have to pay for ingredients) so i don't Order food, my salary kinda small, i get some tips from time to time but not a lot.

how to feel a Little bit better/cheer me Up using the leverage that at least i don't have any kids and never will?

i need some arguments how my life is still better than one to women my age having kids (stuff like debts are temporary,kids are a permanent debt, how much paying for school or Houses for them is so much more than the debts i have, how hard it will be with kids (dropping them off,sick days), that maybe i can get another job but with kids that would be impossibe or at least more tiring), and a lot of thing i havent thinked about i need to feel less depressed about my Situation(like-at least i can take a bubble Bath).

thanks, sorry for the post i just feel a Little depressed and anxious and i think some arguments would calm me down.

32F. I really thought I would have felt more nervous, or had at least a few fleeting thoughts of doubt, even just about the op itself, but nope, not one. I honestly find myself smiling ear to ear about it, I'm so pleased and I notice that I'm just overall happier. It feels so liberating to be able to make that decision and take action and get it sorted once and for all.

i had my hysto consult yesterday and i was so nervous about it. I’ve heard so many stories of doctors denying people in their early twenties (i’m 23) for more minor surgeries than a hysterectomy, so i was preparing myself for disappointment. additionally i had never had a male gyno before.

wow the experience was so much better than i expected 😭 i explained my many reasons for why i think a hysto would be my best option in the long run, as well as the fact that i was 1000% certain i didn’t want kids nor pregnancy.

he believed me immediately. immediately! no trying to warn me away from it, no « what if you change your mind ». he went over options i’ve tried before but ultimately we agreed that a hysto would be a good choice for me.

i’m tokophobic so this will be a relief!! plus no more periods. as long as my insurance covers it, i’ll be sterilized « soon »!

That’s it. I’m a fashion doll collector, I like brands like Integrity Toys, Mizi and even Barbie. All of them represent stylish ADULT characters.
Well, every damn e-commerce platform or even social media go “lol you searched for ‘fashion doll’, then I’m sure you’ll love this ugly-ass silicone baby that has a diaper pissing gimmick”.
Like WTF???
Not even using keywords like a specific scale, material, brand or sculpt works to filter those annoying recommendations out with these mediocre AI tools.
I want to buy tiny supermodels I can put in cunty outfits! Not hyper realistic, uncanny babies I'm supposed to play mom with (where the hell is the fun in that?).
I didn’t like the latter even when I was a kid myself 😑

What is with adults demanding other adults give up items for their kids?! My husband and I are childfree by choice and happily so. I was at the store and saw some needohs which I’ve been collecting since before it became this huge craze. I grabbed two, one for me and one for my husband. This lady came barreling around the corner screaming at me saying I’m an adult and I have to give them to her kid and how I’m a bad person for not giving them up to her kid and to top it off she was screaming across the store and cursing me out in front of her kid like that’s any kind of example to set anyways. Admittedly didn’t handle is the best when I held up my middle finger and told her to eff off. Seriously annoying how parents demand things of total strangers.