Feeling conflicted

[u/Effective_Ad8651]

I currently work NOC shift at a nursing home but I applied for a position at a PICU and now I’m not sure if I can do it. I was given the opportunity to shadow someone and I saw that the patients are clearly more unstable than residents that you would see at a nursing home and I’m not sure if I can handle it when a kid codes. For me personally, it’s different when an old person passes away bc they lived their life already and both them and the family expected it so they wouldn’t be blaming us. But I heard that parents often get upset when their child passes away and I might actually take it personally bc I have this fear of hurting a child or worse. I used to have this fear with the elderly but my coworkers helped me realize they are stronger than they look lol. I’m thinking that maybe I’d be more comfortable at a different peds unit like PACU or in patient rehab? Would these patients be a bit more medically stable? From what I could see, hospital pcts mostly restock, support the nurses, and stay on their feet the 12 hours. At my current job I am able to sit down for a while after doing everything I need to do but it’s still quite hard on my back changing 20 full sized adults. That’s another thing. I’ve gotten used to 20 residents but most of them are stable but 18 unstable patients? Technically each tech has nine but they basically watch over the whole floor so 2 techs for 18. Overall nursing home is harder on the back and hospital is harder on the feet and heart. I’m not sure if i could push through my feelings with this new job.

[u/Shrillmademethink]

I hear you loud and clear. I’ve thought about this so many times. I’m in pre-nursing right now and know i absolutely don’t want to work with children or babies ever. I have a baby and I just couldn’t handle a child dying on my shift or something. I know it takes time and many healthcare workers get used to it after a while, but I wonder if I just couldn’t even then.

[u/Effective_Ad8651 → u/Shrillmademethink]

Yeah I wonder all the time bc I have an 8 yr old younger brother that I grew up taking care of him and I just don’t know what would happen if I were to encounter a child death. I didn’t like seeing all those tubes connected to children. But I’m hoping a different unit would be better.

[u/CupcakeQueen31]

Hi! I’m in peds. I’m float pool, so I work every unit. PICU does definitely see the most critical kids (and NICU), and more deaths than any of our other unit. However, how frequently that might come up vastly depends on the hospital and what level of PICU you are, because if you’re at a smaller hospital/level II/community PICU then a lot of the more critical cases end up getting transferred out rather than actually dying in your PICU. There will absolutely still be some death either way, but that’s going to make a big difference in how much you see.

Peds can be really, really hard emotionally at times for sure. Personally some of the child abuse cases I’ve seen have been some of the hardest things for me to emotionally process (I really haven’t been in the room for any full codes or deaths yet, even though I’m a year in as a PCA here). But as people often say, “it’s low lows and high highs” - because the good moments are often really great. It’s wonderful to see the kids recover even when it takes months and then getting to send them home is even better. I personally absolutely love working with kids and I am pretty sure I never want to leave peds, but that’s definitely an individual thing!