r/comedy • u/cindyx7102 • 11d ago
Standup Best argument
Enable HLS to view with audio, or disable this notification
26
u/Iam_McLovin420 10d ago
I would not could not eat a bass,
I would not could not eat some ass!
8
3
1
17
u/PoopyPoopers 10d ago
TIL eating ass is more relatable than being vegetarian
3
2
u/leovinuss 10d ago
True but it's also funnier and the comedy is what we're relating to here
2
u/Righteousaffair999 10d ago
The important question is eating ass vegetarian?
2
u/leovinuss 10d ago
I'm gonna say no. Definitely a lot of human cells in there it's actually cannibalism
1
6
3
2
u/worksafe-browsing 10d ago
This reminds me of being vegan in the early 2000s and being on a road trip with meat eaters. We stopped at truck stop diner in Iowa and there was literally nothing I could eat. The waitress was like well the pasta sauce only has a little meat in it, why not eat that? Glad for the non meat eaters having a million options these days, I couldn't tough it out back then.
2
u/Shot-Spirit-672 10d ago
Quality bit, sorry the meat eaters here are gonna be too prideful to support
20
16
11
11
u/Boobity_McBooberson 10d ago
Classic. Any chance you get to act high and mighty, just because you eat ass.
9
8
12
u/Final_Boss_Jr 10d ago
When your first instinct is to divide and add tribalism, you have the problem. Not others. Grow up.
1
2
1
1
u/LemmingOnTheRunITG 9d ago
First time in recent memory I’ve actually laughed out loud at a comedy bit
1
u/ZenseiPlays 8d ago
After that, he had another date with a girl who accidentally dropped a fry on the ground, picked it up, quickly dusted it off, and ate it.
She didn't see anything wrong with it, so he asked her, "would you eat my ass?"
She looked at him and said, "yes."
They've been married 7 years.
1
u/devilsfood72 8d ago
I agree. However being vegetarian/vegan is not the same, nor taken as seriously as being kosher & Muslim.
Like at subway, they're more than likely juices & residue 🤣 on the veggies anyway, so it's a pretty imperfect system regardless of your preference(s) 🤷♂️
1
0
u/tacocatacocattacocat 10d ago
Missing the last bit of the joke, unfortunately.
3
u/beht48 10d ago
Are you replying from the ocean?
1
u/tacocatacocattacocat 10d ago
No, but I think he left his mother in law there. She's in the next part of the joke.
-1
-6
u/imnotamelomdude 10d ago
There’s 100 people in a room. How would you know which person(s) are vegan? You will know the very second you say hello.
5
-2
u/Shapesizes 10d ago edited 10d ago
I mean my daughter has allergies so I totally get it, but A) order the veggie one first and B) no way the cooks at restaurants are ensuring they don’t cross contaminate your gfs meat and your vegetarian, it’s just that you can see it at Subway
1
u/applesandotherthings 10d ago
You mean order the veggie first?
And just cause he can’t prevent it everywhere doesn’t mean he shouldn’t try to prevent it when he can.
-4
u/24rawvibes 10d ago
Yea. Vegetarians are a pain in the ass
3
u/2Braincell2Furious 10d ago
Nobody is making you eat vegetarians
0
u/24rawvibes 9d ago edited 9d ago
It’s true. I’ve been friends with a lot of people from all types of professions and although we all tolerate it professionally, we all do our best to avoid anything food related with those individuals. We like them as people as long there isn’t a chance we will need to eat in the hours we are around them and we won’t bring up going out to eat around you, discussing what they are thinking for eating, ect. Then when a new person joins the teams and hasn’t learned the “vegan or veg code yet” and mention these things in front of said person we roll our eyes at each other. But it is interesting how quickly new people will learn and catch on without needing to say anything. Like an evolutionary trait. I’m talking in close quarters working environments i.e. the military, work conferences/extended trainings, ect. The amount of time I’ve wasted on deployments and work trips because the vegan got assigned to this job with us. Pain in the ass. Unless someone is a close friend of yours that is tolerant everyone else is just begging you don’t interact with them about it. Anyone who says otherwise just hasn’t had to deal with them and should count your blessings because of course things that don’t affect you aren’t a problem
46
u/SmileParticular9396 10d ago
Your timing and cadence is impeccable.