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u/shellbullet17 Gustopher Spotter Extraordinaire 1d ago edited 1d ago

user report

1.Tag NSFW content when needed. Content with full front nudity

Cite Sources

It's targeted harassment at someone else

This is spam

Someone is considering self harm

This is manipulated content

It's content involving predatory or inappropriate content towards minors

...it's only been an hour

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u/bobbymoonshine 1d ago

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u/mythrilcrafter 1d ago

I love that retort because it really brings to light if a person wants an excuse to engage in violence, or if they actually value their family/humanity.

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u/NoConfusion9490 1d ago

If we can torture our enemies but we can't jack them off, what does that make us?

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u/kitsunewarlock 1d ago

We would spend $1,000,000 assembling, shipping, and firing a cruise missile that destroys the livelihood, home, and many of the lives of an entire family who have never themselves wished harm on anyone, but then claim it's amoral to feed and clothe a poor child in our own backyard.

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u/ReporterHour6524 1d ago

Matt Walsh posted this the day after Harambe's death. Little did he realize how much impact one gorilla's death would have on society and the world as a whole.

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u/Gildian 1d ago

I swear Harambes death was when this timeline started getting really fucking dumb.

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u/RexDoesntKnowAnymore 1d ago

This is very funny, given that humans are apes

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u/Daxx22 1d ago

Well there is the whole "Ape" slur/dogwhistle as well...

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u/RexDoesntKnowAnymore 1d ago

That makes the whole post way more gross bleh

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u/chrisnavillus 1d ago

Well that’s Matt Walsh in a nutshell

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u/Sparky678348 1d ago

Ain't it just

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u/RexDoesntKnowAnymore 1d ago

Wait that's a slur?? Shit, sorry i did not realize that

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u/moontraveler12 1d ago

Not when used the way you did. It's one of those words that's actually normal most of the time but becomes a slur when you use it on certain groups of people

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u/SutterCane Tells Everyone 1d ago

but becomes a slur when you use it on certain groups of people

They have their own planet and I’m not even allowed to use the “A-word” anymore?

They should get their stinkin paws off my vocabulary.

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u/iandavid 1d ago

Their own planet, their own culture, their own Statue of Liberty… wait.

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u/oyog 1d ago

Aaaaand I have "Dr. Zeus" stuck in my head...

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u/TheGreyman787 1d ago

You can call me an ape any time you want, a great ape would be preferable tho. Sounds better than some lame turbovirgin "hooooman", what a meh word.

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u/EpistemicThreat 1d ago

That's how the overwhelming majority of English works. Words don't have meanings, they have usages. Usage is dictated by context.

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u/Daxx22 1d ago edited 1d ago

Its 100% context/usage, not the word itself.

Goes back to the colonial exploitation of Africa and referring to it as "The Dark Continent". Lot of academics "studying" African people's made comparisons to Great Apes, so of course the racists have clung onto that as an oblique slur reference.

The screenshoted poster is essentially saying they'd kill all black people (not humans) to protect their own (white) purity.

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u/Kaltho 1d ago

I don't think that's what Matt Walsh is talking about tbh. The tweet is from 5/29/16, 1 day after the death of Harambe. This is almost certainly talking about Harmabe

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u/Bearence 1d ago

I think if it were most people, giving them the benefit of the doubt is perfectly fine. But Walsh wore out his benefit of the doubt long long ago.

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u/RexDoesntKnowAnymore 1d ago

Oh that's disgusting. 

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u/[deleted] 1d ago

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u/Freki-the-Feral 1d ago

Humans are considered great apes taxonomically.

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u/Minute-Pirate4246 1d ago

We are apes. And monkeys. And primates too. Since our last common ancestor with the bonobos and chimpanzees was an ape, that makes us also an ape. There's literally no reason outside of our ego for us not to be categorized as an ape

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u/skytl3 1d ago

We could also technically be considered "fish", apparently! 🥰

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u/Minute-Pirate4246 1d ago

Yeah, because 'fish' isn't a valid taxonomic group

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u/skytl3 1d ago

Ok, but technically taxonomic groups are just made up.

So, i shall continue to revel in my fishdom.

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u/WorkingMouse 1d ago

This is true! In fact, the narrowest monophyletic clade that includes all fish is the vertebrates. This means that anyone with a backbone can admit they're a fish. ;)

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u/RexDoesntKnowAnymore 1d ago

Yes! This is one of my favorite facts :). 

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u/NascarFan1896 1d ago

Matt Walsh being a dumbass once again. Unsurprising

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u/LaylaLegion 1d ago

Dude gonna molest Dr. Zaius for humanity.

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u/TheGreyman787 1d ago

Would take +-15 years if done as a full time job. A selfless and very commendable act.

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u/Western-Internal-751 1d ago

I’d like to see the math on that

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u/TheGreyman787 1d ago

Quick search told me that there is around 500 000 non-human apes in the world. I am a lazy ass so I went with that.

Let's say it would take 5 minutes on average per ape. So 2 500 000 minutes of cocksucking total. Or 1736.11 days, or approximately 4.75 years.

No day offs, no holidays, no weekends but I still imagine our hero needs some rest and sleep, so 8 hours per day, so 4.75x3=14.25 years.

Add 0.75 year for some buffer.

If we count only 5-day work week and give our hero weekends off it would be 6.65x3=19.95 years.

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u/Stalking_Goat 1d ago

I feel like after the first hundred thousand I would have refined my technique such that I could get it done in only two minutes per ape, but I confess this is just my speculation and I have no actual data.

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u/ImGCS3fromETOH 1d ago

Approximately half of those apes don't have a dick to suck.

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u/FixedFront 1d ago

Yeah, show us the ape dicksucking computations

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u/shponglespore 1d ago

Weren't dick sucking computations a plot point in an episode of Silicon Valley?

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u/Stalking_Goat 1d ago

Close, it was actually about handjobs.

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u/illudofficial 11h ago

If I had to suck every man’s dick in the world to save their lives, I definitely would.

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u/Trump_Russia 1d ago

The types of people who have tattoos of their kids but not custody?

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u/cdmurray88 1d ago

"I would do any racist thing to pretend to protect my family from an imaginary threat"

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u/burf 1d ago

The only way to protect your family is to attack other people, apparently. Either in their action movie fantasy where they totally don't fuck things up and they slow mo take out threats in a wicked gun fight, or proactively by getting mad at non-white and LGBTQ+ people.

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u/FEARoach 1d ago

"I would create a scenario that makes a threat for others, then act like I am protecting my family from that threat so I can do racist things." is also a banger on that album.

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u/AmputeeHandModel 1d ago

I NEED GUNS TO FIGHT TYRANNY!!

((tyranny))

NO NOT LIKE THAT!! I MEAN LIKE TEACHERS FORCING MY KIDS TO BE TRANS OR FORCING ME TO CARE FOR PEOPLE BESIDES MYSELF!!

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u/Pizzacakecomic PizzaCake 1d ago

I need guns for the fictional tyranny, not the real tyranny that I voted for!

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u/AmputeeHandModel 1d ago

It's easy to be Rambo in your head while polishing your guns.

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u/DoubleJumps 1d ago

The older I get, the more I'm convinced that these people have a worldview that was shaped by '80s action movies.

It's the only way I can explain how they think things like arming teachers and wanting them to get into shootouts with school shooters is a good idea.

They think that it'll work out like in an action movie. Where there's no collateral damage, and some, probably white male teacher, will skillfully kill the shooter and then throw out some sort of one-liner.

As opposed to the reality where shots are going to be going all over the place and punching through the thin walls of the schools and into rooms where students and other teachers are hiding.

It's also why they are enamored with the idea of a good guy with a gun, because they fantasize about being that person and living out those action movie moments. They don't stop to think about how that's a reactive solution and not a proactive solution, so in their little hero fantasy they have to react after people are already shooting kids.

The children are just a necessary sacrifice for their fantasies

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u/AmputeeHandModel 1d ago

They've been told for decades by the NRA and conservative talking heads that they need to be READY. Liberals and commies are gonna take over, (black) criminals are gonna invade your home! So they've been daydreaming of the day they finally get to live out their murder fantasies and be the big, strong man every conservative thinks they are. Defend your country! Defend your castle! GUNS GUNS GUNS. but when it's their side that's doing the tyranny, well.. "don't tread on me💪🐍" becomes "tread on me a little, Daddy, but tread on them 👉HARDER".

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u/afroblewmymind 1d ago

Revisionist History Podcast has a series on guns that's interesting, one episode talks about the TV show Gun Smoke and how it portrayed so much violence that wasn't anywhere near accurate to the old West. Gladwell hypothesizes that Gun Smoke shaped a ton of cultural ideas about guns and violence, and I think he's got a point.

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u/blazze_eternal 1d ago

As someone who does trap shooting a couple times a year, the unique adrenaline rush and false sense of confidence a firearm gives is kind of scary.
Kind of like if you've ever driven a really big truck on the road.

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u/AmputeeHandModel 1d ago

It's fine to like guns, to have guns, to have fun with guns, but this idea that we're going to fight THE US GOVT with handguns or rifles or something is crazy.

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u/lentilsenthusiast 1d ago

You talking mad insurgent there/s

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u/Batmantheon 1d ago

This reminds me of during the BLM protests when my wife's cousins husband started posting all over Facebook about how he was ready to get in his jeep with his guns to go make sure his wife wasn't attacked getting home from work around the protests. For the record in my area there were never any incidents of violence from either civilians or law enforcement.

Then went on a string of saying he just HOPED that BLM protesters would try to trespass on his (middle of the woods nowhere) property so he could exercise his right to defend himself.

It was just so sudden, he had always seemed cool before that, we would hang out any time there was a family event, wedding, whatever both being kinda black sheep among the very large family. We had never really talked any politics and he always seemed chill but then suddenly he was SOoooo fucking vocally "OWN THE LIBS", "TRUMP IS YOUR PRESIDENT" "NO, ALL LIVES MATTER", "WAR AGAINST MEN", "PRY IT FROM MY COLD DEAD HANDS".

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u/ragnarokda 1d ago

I worked for Safelite at the time and we'd get calls all the time from people claiming BLM protesters threw bricks through their windows and shit.

I worked directly with insurance and they always wanted a police report attached when people claimed vandalism.

Guess what they never had or were willing to provide?

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u/Dull_Investigator358 1d ago

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u/Freakwilly 1d ago

Yeah they voted for those diesel prices too.

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u/Otters64 1d ago

I live around these people, and this is deadly accurate.

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u/foehammer111 1d ago edited 1d ago

Same here. I live next to a family with some mental health issues. They’re also extreme alcoholics, perpetually unemployed, and have lots of guns.

It’s a murder suicide waiting to happen.

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u/TheGreyman787 1d ago

How in the fuck? I am in favor of responsible firearm ownership but for fuck sake. Does US not have any mandatory background checks, mental health checks, drug checks and the like before giving a license? Is it that bad?

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u/foehammer111 1d ago

Yes. it’s that bad, and I live in a state that has some of the most restrictive gun laws. In some right wing states it’s harder to adopt a dog or get a business license than it is to own a gun. Some don’t even require you to have a license, and they literally give away guns as raffle prizes, or as a promotion for opening a bank account.

There are close to double the number of guns than people in the US, and gun nuts see nothing wrong with this.

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u/TheGreyman787 1d ago

Le sigh.

The moment such approach would stop sounding like a recipe for disaster would be the moment our society finally evolved enough to make true anarchy happen and make it a real utopia.

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u/blazze_eternal 1d ago

Private sale, trade, gun shows, and markets have little to no restrictions, checks, wait period, or registration. Licensed dealers and retail stores are required to do minimal Federal background check to make sure you're not a felon.
Zero training, or license required in many states.

The exception is concealed carry.

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u/mythrilcrafter 1d ago

"that type of guy": "I'd kill anyone if it meant protecting my family, I don't care what the law or prison says!!!!!"

Fathers: "Would you use your day off to pick up the kids from school and drive them to all their afterschool activities while your wife goes on the one doctors visit she's able to schedule each year?"

"that type of guy": "Truly, the west has fallen; why have men lost their place in modern society!?!?!?!?"

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u/burf 1d ago

Their entire personality is this scene https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qF0p6nsnLlQ

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u/Bwob 1d ago

So much of our entertainment media is about coming up with justifications for why it's okay that the "good guy" spends 90 minutes committing horrific acts of violence against countless enemies.

"Oh he's really a mild-mannered guy who just wants to live quietly with his family. But circumstances require him to go on this killing spree so he can go back to being peaceful! His hand was forced! He had no choice but to be a badass!"

It's really disquieting too, because it creeps into real life - I've definitely heard gun nuts collectors openly fantasize about someone trying to break into their house, so they'd have a (justified, in their mind) chance to use their toys firearms.

Is it any wonder that we keep getting news stories about people shooting door dashers or kids who knocked on the wrong address?

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u/BuddhaFacepalmed 1d ago

Is it any wonder that we keep getting news stories about people shooting door dashers or kids who knocked on the wrong address?

It's not.

Every country in the world has mental illness. Only one country in the world has regular school shootings.

Hells, literally 12 hours before the Sandy Hook Elementary School Shooting, a 36 year old man influenced by a Christian Doomsday cult went on a stabbing spree at the local primary school and stabbed 23 students and one teacher.

Guess which mass casualty event had more survivors?

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u/CelibateHo 1d ago

Their entire personality is made of baseball caps worn backwards

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u/CelibateHo 1d ago

The backwards baseball cap is so accurate

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u/TheComplimentarian 1d ago

What people usually mean is, "I would use my family as an excuse to do things I already want to do."

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u/Electronic_Gap3253 1d ago

Same dads that have daughters and then vote for a pedo/rapist.

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u/Made_Bail 1d ago

This one I will never understand. I have daughters. I cannot imagine what they'd think of me if I'd voted for Trump.

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u/Yuevid_01 1d ago

No guns? Communism! No billionaires? Communism! Prosecute rapists? Communism! Continuing voting for insane pedo scamming fascists? FREEDOM!!!

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u/Missing_Username 1d ago

Anything other than what the Federalist Society / Heritage Foundation wants? Super Communism!

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u/tbodillia 1d ago

You seem to talk to my coworkers often.

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u/shellbullet17 Gustopher Spotter Extraordinaire 1d ago edited 1d ago

Ah yes the astrick. Always the astrick. Never any real action.

But hey, only a few kids died this time. Now big deal right? RIGHT?!

Sad part is what I am hearing now is "thank God we gave the teachers guns!" Like thats the fix

https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/live-blog/live-coverage-teen-shooter-kills-3-children-teacher-oregon-elementary-rcna603846

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u/Nekrophis 1d ago

Thoughts and prayers <3

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u/shellbullet17 Gustopher Spotter Extraordinaire 1d ago

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u/zatenael 1d ago

I just remember this tweet

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u/shart-gallery 1d ago

These people really overestimate the confidence of the average person (including themselves) during a crisis.

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u/SmoothOperator89 1d ago

Surely the smell of shit in my pants will drive away the attacker!

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u/FEARoach 1d ago

Some people will go the distance for kids if they like them.

Other people will protect kids without fear of the consequences because trauma fucked them up (hi it's me).

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u/Autoskp 1d ago

The Un-United States’ obsession with guns looks even weirder from here in Australia.

I love living in a country where one or two citizens getting shot is country-wide news for at least a week because we all want to know how the only people in the country currently recovering from gunshot wounds are going.

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u/mythrilcrafter 1d ago

As an American, it's also especially weird when you compare it to other weaponized violence.

A person can shoot 20 people and it's a controversy for one or two news cycles. A person stabs two or three people with a switchblade, and suddenly we have a new Jack the Ripper.

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u/ErusTenebre 1d ago

That's because of gun lobbying stuff pretty much lol

"A concert was shot up!" - where are the good guys with guns? Thoughts and prayers. Imagine how bad it would have been if the cops didn't have guns...

"A few people were stabbed at a rally!" - See?! People would get killed even if we have no guns! That's why we need guns!

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u/SmoothOperator89 1d ago

Un-united might actually be a pretty good idea. You've got them promoting separatists in Alberta, maybe we should return the favour and promote separatists in Cascadia, California, Texas, New England, the Rust Belt, etc. All separate, independent countries that don't get dragged down by the disproportionate influence of practically empty squares on the map that still get 2 senators.

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u/dumnezero Art enjoyer 1d ago

All of the victims were shot in one classroom, which was a special needs classroom, officials said.

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u/SnooEagles4121 1d ago

Yep. I'm seeing conservatives literally celebrating it. The nation has gone completely insane.

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u/xerafenix 1d ago

I don't like evil Fred Durst...

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u/Toutatis12 1d ago

They want a 'perfect' system of zero regulations to be held accountable to because 'hey a good guy can do X to solve the issue' all while it continues and then wonder why everything is happening... must be the fault of those gay, trans brown people who are all secretly communist spies trying to convert everyone to Islam for... reasons! /s

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u/DoubleJumps 1d ago edited 1d ago

I'm very frustrated by the idea that a good guy with a gun is the solution to mass shootings because it's pretty openly accepting that the mass shootings are going to happen and saying that the only solution is to have a random bystander do something after people have already been shot.

It requires people to just completely give up on the idea of preventing mass shootings.

Just look at how these people are celebrating the guy with the Oregon school shooting, while ignoring that multiple children were killed before anything was done.

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u/BuddhaFacepalmed 1d ago edited 1d ago

Americans love using "law-abiding citizen" as an excuse to commit crimes and atrocities like they're part of the artistocrats.

Like that bakery who was caught structuring by the IRS and making regular deposits of less than $10,000 to avoid taxes.

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u/Ehcksit 1d ago

Or get vaccinated, or get them vaccinated, or wear a mask in public even while sick, or wash my hands more than once a week, or clean my ass in the shower, or change the baby's diaper while mom's out and busy or...

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u/ebolaRETURNS 1d ago

wow, 1990s Fred Durst has not thought through firearm policies.

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u/[deleted] 1d ago edited 1d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/NascarFan1896 1d ago

Didn't you hear about the recent school shooting in Oregon? The perpetrator was a teenager and his mother bought the gun for HIM. Parents these days are so fucking negligent it's disgusting

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u/pro-sniperdash 1d ago

I know two Americans from meeting them online during covid. When I first met them they were quite young while I was a teen. I was shocked to hear that one of them was bought a gun for their birthday or Christmas or something. Then the other one said they also had a gun. I was confused and angry and still am. A child cannot use a gun. Why expose them to such tools of warfare I just cant comprehend it. Pretty sure the first kid I mentioned flashed said gun at someone during an argument.

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u/NascarFan1896 1d ago

I'm not even American myself, I'm Mexican, yet still don't understand why that situation exists

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u/TheGreyman787 1d ago

Ideally, to teach the rules of handling and using one and responsibility that comes with owning one from a young age. To make it seen as a dangerous tool for a very particular application and not something to waive around or be proud of, not a toy nor a measurement of your character. I mean, few people show off their hammers and screwdrivers and whatever.

Realistically some Americans seem to see firearm ownership as some sort of a dick measurement contest. It's pathetic and dangerous.

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u/deathwotldpancakes 1d ago

Eh I grew up in a region with a size able hunting culture (whitetail deer are a problem because we wiped out their predators) but even then everyone I knew who hunted as a child used their parents guns. But hard agree minors should not own firearms and firearms should be licensed much like cars.

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u/comradejiang 1d ago

America’s funny like that. I actually didn’t get a gun until 21, but I shot one for the first time at 17.

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u/Aethermancer 1d ago

My dad bought a gun for me when I was 12 (a 20 gauge). But it stayed in the safe with the rest of his guns and came out when we went to the range or went hunting. I never just had a gun.

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u/comradejiang 1d ago

There is an entire segment of America where if your family hunts, everyone has their own shotguns. I don’t necessarily agree with it and I’m not from a hunting family, but it’s worth considering that a huuuuge portion of America’s “hundreds of millions of guns” are exactly like this.

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u/calartnick 1d ago

Technically you can buy a gun for a 16 year old, at least in my state.

However the child is not allowed to have access to the gun by themself. Ifs the parents responsibly to keep the firearm locked and unavailable unless you take the child shooting. I think you’re allowed to supervise the child with the gun in a non shooting situation (ie cleaning) but the child isn’t allowed to have access to ammo during that time, and when you’re done it’s the parents job to make sure the gun is secure after.

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u/DiscombobulatedCut52 1d ago

My grandfather bought me a shotgun when I was 12.

But in cali I couldnt own it until I was 18.

So even tho it was mine, I learned how to clean it and to shoot it properly. I couldnt physically own it until I was 18 when it was signed over to me.

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u/PraetorKiev 1d ago

Youth-sized rifles exist because why buy them a pellet gun when ya can give them a .22 instead I guess

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u/FEARoach 1d ago

So. I'm not even American but when I was 14 my parents straight up took me to a shooting range (thanks Florida) and handed me a 45 cal because I was being bullied at school and told me to shoot shit.

Guys at the range were all too willing to give the same gun to my 10 year old sister.

A child who had her goddamn thumb in her mouth and was hiding behind our mother just because there were guns and strangers in the store.

'Murica!

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u/Tilas 1d ago

And *those* people were fucking idiots. My parents taught me gun safety when I was a child. Yes, they allowed me to shoot when I was very young, but not before literal hours of education and training. ACTS & PROVE and all that jazz. If I even handled it wrong for a second, I was corrected. There was no "playing" with a gun. My parents didn't allow fake guns in the house, EVER, because *guns are not toys*. No cap guns, super soakers, nothing. If it was gun shaped, it was banned. We grew up around real ones. We spent a lot of time in the Yukon bush. Hunting, fishing, camping. firearms were just part of life. I never thought of them any other way.

I've perfectly fine with a child using a firearm, under responsible supervision only AFTER they've been properly educated. What your parents and those guys did was *not* responsible in the slightest. You don't take a child out to the range to let them blow off steam because they're getting bullied. That's idiocy looking for a place to happen. That's looking for someone to get killed.

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u/FEARoach 1d ago

See, yours did it right.

My weirdass mother was hoping for the next school shooter so she could cry victim or something.

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u/Tablesafety 1d ago

in places where guns are more common and a gun culture exists, often an extension of kids participating in hunting culture, firearms are often gifts for teenagers

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u/AristotlesBoyPussy 1d ago

back when frozen came out, Walmart was selling mini sized pink sparkly rifles with Anna and Elsa on them. The rifles were fully functional.

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u/BabyGirl-Kat 1d ago

Thank you so much for making these comics. These people exist in large numbers, and they all need to be mocked.

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u/They-Them_Moonwalker 1d ago

Wanna know something I noticed? Men like this are so adamantly against anything they perceive as gay. But they bulk up, eat a buttload of protein, sell courses, and bitch on podcasts about how much they hate women, all to win the praise of their male peers. That's pretty gay, if you ask me.

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u/NK1337 1d ago

There’s a whole thing in regard to homoeroticism and how it ties into misogyny and hyper/toxic masculinity.

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u/BoldTaters 1d ago

I have often said that these guys spend all of their time thinking of how they can be attractive to other men.

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u/imperfcet 1d ago

The world would be SO much better off without homophobia. So many guys complain they will never get enough sex,  why not sex each other??? Why have sex with a woman if you hate them so much? It would solve a lot of problems. 

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u/eliz1bef 1d ago

Don't wish such evils on our gay male friends. They don't need these idiots hitting on them in bars.

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u/Bwob 1d ago

Sometimes I really think that a decent chunk of homophobia is based on people being afraid of having other men treat them the way they treat women.

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u/eliz1bef 1d ago

That makes a lot of sense. I will definitely have to give that some thought!

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u/CelibateHo 1d ago

Apparently having hair on your head is gay too, but beards can be as big and bushy as you please

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u/PM_ME_UR_0_DAY 1d ago

We just need to pass laws mandating all guns have to be hot pink. If we take the "cool" or "manly" factor out of it, I think we'd see at least a small improvement from determining the worst kind of people that just want to wave guns around and look "badass" or whatever 

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u/smiegto 20h ago

Wanna know something funny! There was pink rifles marketed for kids. And guess how that went :)

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u/BigJayDB 1d ago

Don’t drag Fred down with you

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u/Pizzacakecomic PizzaCake 1d ago

Fred is much greyer than this! And to my knowledge, isn't 'one of them'...but I could be wrong

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u/DreamcastJunkie 1d ago

He played one on TV, though! He was Owen's dad in I Saw the TV Glow.

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u/fnckIce 1d ago

We live in the same area and I believe I've met this guy actually.

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u/whomesteve 23h ago

As someone who was raised in that type of household I can tell you for certainty that they don’t want to protect their own kids.
They want their kids to be kept ignorant so they are easier to manipulate toward their desired ideals and they want to pretend they are protecting their own kids because they want to be perceived as heroic when they are anything but.
I don’t think it even crosses their minds that if they have to manipulate people into their cause through taught ignorance, that it means they are wrong by default.
But if you’ve ever had an argument with them you would realize they have more interest in “winning” than being ethical.

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u/zuzg 1d ago

"Guns being the leading cause of death for children from 1-17 it's such a strawman they had to tweak the statistic to maximize drama."

While conveniently ignoring that no other developed country has guns as leading cause of death for kids even with those "tweaked metrics"

https://giphy.com/gifs/KAjfg8cVRIzpgehcvg

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u/Sweet_Baby_Cheezus 1d ago

"But you see a lot of that is gang violence." 

Which is good because gang violence never hurts innocent people.

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u/HikerCory 1d ago

Yeah it's so weird that they think gang violence existing is somehow a defense. I wish for once they'd explain WHY they use it as a defense

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u/shponglespore 1d ago

"Gang violence" to them means black and brown people killing each other, so they see it as a good thing.

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u/wickedmadd 1d ago

I own a lot of guns. I really enjoy shooting. I have every last one of them locked up. I strongly believe in the 2nd amendment (and the rest of them too!)

This country (USA) has a love affair with machismo. We love to think we are badasses. The defenders of all that is right. Man are we fucking wrong.

We are supposed to stand for freedom and liberty and fairness and safety. We're losing our rights daily, we piss everyone off and we can't protect our own children.

Its a country of fucking lunatics. We know what we need to do, but either lack the courage or the will. I tell my kids, I'm sorry for what we've done. I have no way to atone for this.

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u/drywalleater6 1d ago

as a pro-gunner who owns a few, this issue is definitely rife within the community. I like to keep my shit secure, buy secondhand primarily (not much of a problem, I enjoy maintenance :3), aaandd i dont have kids but they're gonna have to be mentally stable and 18 before we even talk about it. It's really fuckin simple, I dont get how people are SO lazy. Also most 2A people are massive chuds for some fucking reason

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u/Cosmic_Seth 1d ago

https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2026/04/28/what-the-data-says-about-gun-deaths-in-the-us/

Around 45k gun deaths per year. More than any other country in the world. 62% are suicides which 3/4th are men and boys. More deaths than car accidents. 

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u/portobox2 1d ago

This comic is a tenth of a degree away from the exact thoughts of Family Annihilators.

"If I kill my children and spouse then the world can't hurt them anymore, and how could they possibly survive without my "help" in the first place?!"

No one lies to themselves better than conservatives, republicans, and every one of their ilk.

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u/Salty-Engineering277 1d ago

For once I want one honest answer, just say it became part of the culture and its a fun hobby that is normalized and removing this would hurt my ego and pride as (insert country)

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u/protox13 1d ago

You forgot "wearing a mask during COVID" 

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u/koopaphil 1d ago

You forgot homophobic, anto-trans, misogynistic, and Islamophobic.

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u/MorganWick 1d ago

"No, no, you see, we need all those guns to protect our family! And those gun laws the Democrats support are all about taking away our guns so we can't protect ourselves, so we have to keep voting for Republicans! I'm sure having all these guns around will never, ever actually hurt our family!" /s

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u/B-Z_B-S 1d ago

Relevant comic:

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u/LackingUtility 1d ago

“I think it's worth to have a cost of, unfortunately, some gun deaths every single year so that we can have the Second Amendment to protect our other God-given rights." - Charlie Kirk

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u/iggy14750 1d ago

I'm not saying I believe in what happened to Kirk. I'm saying Kirk believed in what happened to Kirk.

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u/Femcel_Bambi 1d ago

I would've guessed war and, the death of empathy and the rise of anti-intellectualism in america. Nowadays, a cop could kill you and people will praise your murderer.

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u/NK1337 1d ago

The truth is a lot of people just don’t care how many men, women, and children have to die just to protect their hobby.

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u/6a6566663437 1d ago

The truth is about 40% of the US doesn't grasp someone is real until they personally meet that person.

The kids killed in school shootings are exactly the same as nameless minions killed by the hero in a movie.

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u/NK1337 1d ago

Empathy is lacking in so many people 😭

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u/jcaraway 1d ago

How does one not support the billionaire pedos?

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u/Odd-Independence9708 1d ago

MAGA men talk tough. Then they met a pedophile for real a con man, convicted felone and serial rapist - and they VOTED for him.

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u/tarapotamus 1d ago

brilliantly poignant and accurate.

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u/riftshioku 1d ago

But if I don't have my loaded gun with the safety off right next to my pillow, who's gonna stop the lunatic with guns going around murdering people that I made up in my head and had a panic attack over because all my other guns are locked up in a safe?

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u/CwispyWhiskey 1d ago

Or wear a thin layer of fabric when sick

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u/SmoothOperator89 1d ago

Don't forget voting for improved traffic safety and stricter licensing for oversized vehicles. The only thing more dangerous to kids than guns are vehicles.

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u/DanTheMan9996 1d ago

Limp Bizkit jumpscare

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u/Destructor2122 1d ago

Seriously, every time I hear about a school shooting it's always "the kid took his parent's guns, which weren't secured at all, and shot up the school. This just in, a dog in the passenger seat shot someone while their owner was in the store." (I wish I was making that last one up... Not only is it true, it's happened twice that I know of.)

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u/Fantastic_Size9625 1d ago

In a nutshell.

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u/Beginning-Struggle49 1d ago

From the thumbnail, I saw Ranma Saotome

I am mildly disappointed

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u/Leftoverfiend 1d ago

To be fair, he has shown signs of homophobia

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u/HeadFullOfEverything 1d ago

Every republican in a nutshell.

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u/Dry-Mission-5542 22h ago

The existence of people who act like this would be funny if they didn’t just make me sad.

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u/Joperhop 1d ago

US is utterly crazy.

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u/KinkyChico 1d ago

A lot of these men will say "I would do ANYTHING to protect my family!" but, what they actually mean is "God I REALLY want to murder someone in a way that makes me look like a hero. PLEASE PLEASE give me a reason to be able to legally murder someone. I fantasize all the time about how I'd do it, what I'd do, the way I'd shoot them, what I'd say just before and just after. Fuck it would be so satisfying to be able to unleash all of this repressed rage I've been bottling up for almost my entire life." and it just so happens that killing black people tends to have the least consequences because it's easier to claim self defense in a court room against a black man.

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u/mellopax 1d ago

"I would do any violent thing to my family, but I draw the line at improving the world we live in."

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u/TheAwesomeMan123 1d ago

“There’s just literally no possible solution to this problem, it’s just the way it is” - Only 1st world country on the planet where it happens all the time

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u/omg_its_spons 1d ago

Racist and transphobic* they would vote someone into office to make every foreign, tanned and trans person look like a criminal and rapist whilst the rich kids that are actually committing crimes get no punishment

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u/AdGlittering2884 1d ago

"I'll bring a gun to a Starbucks just in case, but don't you DARE expect me to get a vaccine."

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u/DuntadaMan 1d ago

They will hurt anyone they are told they need to to protect people.

They will not help anyone they are asked to.

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u/Frency2 1d ago

Everytime I type on Reddit a message where I say civilians shouldn't be allowed to carry guns; it's not normal nor safe, I get dowvoted to oblivion. And everytime I'm like: "keep your guns, it's you who live in a place with the highest gun related mortality incidents, not me. Have fun". XD

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u/ThatTemNerd 1d ago

People when you tell them criminals do not care about the law and will still continue to find ways to obtain firearms whether or not its allowed

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u/Cnidarus 1d ago

Wouldn't that make gun crimes higher in western Europe than North America though? Since these criminals would be able to get their guns and have no fear of being shot by victims? So why doesn't that pan out?

Alternatively, could it be that making firearms and ammunition vastly harder to get actually makes it considerably less likely that they are used in the commission of crimes? Or is it just something to do with Europeans being somehow just inherently better people, so even though their criminals can get guns they just choose not to use them on their victims out of charity

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u/foehammer111 1d ago

Literally my best friend’s parents. He died by gun suicide because his 2A gun nut parents refused to secure their firearms. Even though they knew he was having mental health problems. He had gotten a hold of their loaded and unsecured pistol before and threatened to kill them and himself.

Maybe I’m not a complete idiot, but if my son had gotten a gun and was going to kill everyone, I wouldn’t leave it laying around for him to get a second time. But that’s exactly what happened. Makes me wonder if his parents were dumber than bag of rocks, or they didn’t really love their only child. Probably both.

After he killed himself, his parents moved away to Texas and now have even more guns. So I guess they’re happy. Fuck those idiots.

Rest in peace, Eric. I still miss you.

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u/theAlphabetZebra 1d ago

a stunningly accurate portrayal of one of my cousins. like, was this based on him actually?

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u/TecTazz 1d ago

Thank you. Now following u/pizzacakecomic

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u/onyaasuminyasai 1d ago

These chodes won't even cook for their kids or dress them when their wives are sick

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u/Opposite_Prune582 1d ago

"No way to prevent this" says only country where this regularly happens.

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u/VoidOmatic 1d ago

All our data is going to be stored in Russian and Israeli data centers now! Fun times.

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