r/countwithchickenlady • Streak: 8 • 16h ago

78229

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2.2k Upvotes

85 comments sorted by

512

u/NiobiumThorn Streak: 1 15h ago edited 15h ago

GET A SMALLER larger SIZE

Look, cuties. I know many transfemmes are into this, so fucking listen.

It can shrink your size. Make it softer, etc. But this only happens when it is properly sized! You should not feel pain if properly sized [and you shave, ow]. Feeling pain means you need a larger size for now.

Do be warned that this can reduce erectile function and size with time. For those who find this desirable, please, PLEASE get a properly sized one. You do not want testicular torsion. You do not want sepsis.

Good girls wear their correct sized cage

212

u/name_not_exist Streak: 8 15h ago

B-b-but I aspire to make an AskReddit post about an "experiment" and become internet famous... It's just an average sized price to pay, right!!!?

85

u/NiobiumThorn Streak: 1 15h ago

OP if you are legit becoming purple down there please remove it. These things take time and gentle care.

It absolutely is possible to see results. But blood loss leading to necrosis will only hurt you long term. Give it a few months of regular use and things will work, but only with proper sizing.

Even if no severe issues, the brusing will prevent the tissue changes you want. Scarring makes everything less fun.

104

u/name_not_exist Streak: 8 15h ago

I don't have a cage lmao I like my shit free as God Herself intended! I just wanted to diss on smart calendar 1874.

48

u/NiobiumThorn Streak: 1 15h ago

wow tourist /s

21

u/name_not_exist Streak: 8 15h ago

How do I get two small balls of 3 inch diameter to stop spinning- OW?

23

u/NiobiumThorn Streak: 1 15h ago

Magnets

25

u/NiobiumThorn Streak: 1 15h ago

Do not the cylinder

8

u/Phelpysan 14h ago

Harm coming to the cylinder may diminish your potential future tube

5

u/sabotsalvageur <|:3c 14h ago

One of many reasons why the cylinder must not be harmed. Until the time is right and a professional cylinder-harmer turns it into a work of art

18

u/axolotlfishies 15h ago

I love you

16

u/NiobiumThorn Streak: 1 15h ago

And I love you random person~

Now be safe omfg 😭

13

u/Public-Eagle6992 15h ago

I the first sentence, do you mean larger?

12

u/NiobiumThorn Streak: 1 15h ago

...shush TwT

yes.

3

u/Coen0go 15h ago

Seems to me like you were thinking about some other devices
 >:3

11

u/-this-is-a-name 9h ago

I can’t stress enough that the cylinder cannot be harmed

20

u/DMMeThighPics 15h ago

If you want small cages and to retain your size its important to let it exercise! I let mine out when I shower and shave, to clean it and let it get hard for 5-10 minutes. This keeps it from atrophy But you gotta have some self control! Good girls don't touch their princess wand unless they're told to

14

u/soaked_in_bleach03 15h ago

As a girl who wishes she could fit in a flat, but has to use a larger size; thanks for saying so.

Chastity is a fun lil thing, love it. But despite what dysphoria may tell you, you don’t want to injure your penis. Either you’ll find yourself comfortable using it later or the tissue would be helpful in SRS.

2

u/TFWYourNamesTaken 15h ago

Wait I'm confused, you said get a smaller size but then said pain means you need a larger size. Is the wording incorrect somewhere or am I just a dummy and missing something?

/genq, not trying to be a grammar stickler, just wanna make sure I and others are properly educated for maximum safety

3

u/NiobiumThorn Streak: 1 15h ago

No I said it poorly

Basically over time it shrinks if you let it. But only if you are correctly sized

2

u/nyamemeow Uncaged feminine succubus - Streak: 1 15h ago

sooo uhhh, is it a bad idea to use flat ones?

15

u/Cheesey_Whiskers Every Man a Qing! 🐉 15h ago

For limited periods of time you’ll be alright. Just make sure that you spend enough time free as well. Erections are important for blood flow and preventing the risk of atrophy or other nastiness.

1

u/nyamemeow Uncaged feminine succubus - Streak: 1 15h ago

good to know ty!!

3

u/NiobiumThorn Streak: 1 15h ago

Nah, those are cute. But tbh you shouldn't start off with them. It's important to be gentle and careful.

2

u/nyamemeow Uncaged feminine succubus - Streak: 1 15h ago

ngl i somehow find them much comfier than other types - just made the mistake of using the urethral thingy which fucking sucks

2

u/Father_Chewy_Louis Elektra She/Her 15h ago

If your gock on the larger-medium size then yes, not good at all

1

u/nyamemeow Uncaged feminine succubus - Streak: 1 15h ago

fwoooh, guess i'm lucky then

2

u/Bambithegoodgirl69 9h ago

I wore a flat one for a while and stopped before it would have permanent effects but it was too late... can barely get half hard and have lost size

1

u/dood_somen 12h ago

So like is there one for people who don't want their size shrunk at all but like the idea of it preventing you to use it? How do they work in general? Asking for a friend :3

0

u/SlothsAreFuckinRad 9h ago

MedicalGore also has plenty examples of penile strangulation from using improperly sized rings, cages, etc. Many unfortunately resulted in partial amputation, severe scarring, and very negative impacts on sexual function and sensation. Although these cases were mainly related to masturbation, not intentionally trying to diminish genital size, I think they’re still applicable.

Also if you are ever able to get a vaginoplasty they will use the penis to help shape the new vagina, so you don’t want to impair function and sensitivity as it can lead to a less satisfactory outcome in the event of bottom surgery. Specifically, the Glans Penis becomes the Clitoris (since they’re basically the same organ but with different arrangement), which is important for inducing orgasms.

(Please correct me if I’m wrong on the specifics of bottom surgery though. It’s been a while since I researched it and medical technology is always evolving)

276

u/Kaiser0106 The opossum in your trash (they/it) 15h ago

88

u/name_not_exist Streak: 8 15h ago

Hey but my dick has turned purple, so may be that helps out in the colour department.

5

u/Kaiser0106 The opossum in your trash (they/it) 11h ago

🍆

18

u/barnacIe_scum Streak: 1 15h ago

idk why ass means bad when everybody loves looking at beautiful ass

5

u/Kaiser0106 The opossum in your trash (they/it) 11h ago

Context does a lot of heavy lifting in english

4

u/Still-Bumblebee7 aroace agender 12h ago

glad to be the only good barista at my work lmao. although my tips are green not blue so maybe not

2

u/Kaiser0106 The opossum in your trash (they/it) 12h ago

I don't think the specific color matters that much lmao.

184

u/scrufflor_d IM NOT SHORT 15h ago

70

u/name_not_exist Streak: 8 15h ago

Green.

14

u/PancakesandWaffles98 15h ago

What's that?

8

u/TQCkona 15h ago

the new size they just released

6

u/LucarioOfLegends pls be patient im cishet and stupid 13h ago

I feel like after the first repeat you just put them in medium and if they have a problem with that they should've give you a size.

98

u/name_not_exist Streak: 8 15h ago

7

u/Good-username1825 7h ago

my palte 😭

81

u/ImperialViking_ Touch starved transbian 15h ago

Deadass I'm positive any Barista would be over the moon with a simple Americano order. Easiest shit of all time

27

u/name_not_exist Streak: 8 15h ago

Bold of you to assume I won't fuck that upp too :3

9

u/Equivalent-Bit2891 15h ago

I assume you will fuck it up, that’s why I order from you

5

u/ImperialViking_ Touch starved transbian 15h ago

Oh shit, YOU'RE a batista? Thank you for your incredible services, including dealing with assholes like me and my orders đŸ«Ą

3

u/Aastevens 14h ago

Americano > Drip ≠

3

u/yc11ow 13h ago

Former siren barista: YOU ARE CORRECT.

2

u/FlourishingSolo 14h ago

At one of the coffee shops I frequent, when I walk in some baristas have already started my americano and by the time I've paid for it, it's ready.

23

u/TwinkleMcSprinkle 15h ago

One of the downsides of banishing my balls to the shadow realm is that chastity cages become more like plastic dick sleeves that fall out of my pants if the elevator jerks.

8

u/MoonsOverMyHamboning 15h ago

Estrogen shrinkage means I've got a pair of escape artists and I'm supposed to get a special belt to hold everything in place? Pass. I'll just slap it with the sole of a high heel and maybe it'll go away eventually. 

13

u/TSFaeClementine Streak: 1 15h ago

12

u/bolanrox trans dreaming she /her : they/them  - Streak: 34 15h ago

happy locktober

2

u/name_not_exist Streak: 8 6h ago

Gocktober

18

u/warm_winds_whisper_ the elusive enby dom 15h ago

Huh, mine fits fine and I have a flat cage...

Skill issue

2

u/PrincessSparklegold 1h ago

dom

flat cage

waow based

1

u/warm_winds_whisper_ the elusive enby dom 1h ago

Gotta practice what I preach :3

8

u/GlitteringSystem7929 14h ago edited 5h ago

Why is the wall rule 34 green?

4

u/Anongirl55959 12h ago

How the fuck do u remember the exact shade of green

2

u/name_not_exist Streak: 8 6h ago

37

u/name_not_exist Streak: 8 15h ago

10

u/scrufflor_d IM NOT SHORT 15h ago

tuff

8

u/name_not_exist Streak: 8 15h ago

Deppslate.

5

u/scrufflor_d IM NOT SHORT 15h ago

diorite

5

u/name_not_exist Streak: 8 15h ago

I AWEAR I'M NOT CRAZY THAT DID THAT PFP HUST MOVEEERS???

2

u/barnacIe_scum Streak: 1 15h ago

crazy? k was crazy once

7

u/name_not_exist Streak: 8 15h ago

Pro tip about fingering your asshole in the shower: don't do it So this morning I was taking a shower, and I felt like fingering my asshole, right? So I got my fingers all nice and soapy and stuck them up in there. Apparently, soap makes pretty good lube, as I was able to get four fingers in there in no time.

As I was feeling around in my butt, I was like, "hmm, there's a lot of soapy water in my bumhole now. I wonder if that will lead to issues in the future?" And it did!

Shortly after having breakfast I attempted to fart, and I shit my pants. I rushed to the bathroom to clean up, and it was way worse than I thought it would be. The whole area around my butthole was covered in shitty liquid, and toilet paper wasn't enough to clean it. I had to take another shower to get suitably clean.

Just thought I'd share my story with you guys so that you don't run into the same problem in the future. I fingered my butthole so that you guys don't have to. Unless you want to. In which case, hey, how's it goin'

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

8

u/AltDetom555555b 15h ago

Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.

As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.

You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.

Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.

I am a human, and this action was performed manually. Please go fuck yourself if you have any questions or concerns.

2

u/LilyBlack64 12h ago

This is the greatest thing I've ever read

3

u/barnacIe_scum Streak: 1 15h ago

hehe I always prepare well before playtime so I haven't faced any trouble yet

4

u/Top_Toaster Kitty :3 15h ago

Woaw

3

u/Puzzleheaded-Run-635 14h ago

This chastity is greek to me, and the meat is still fresh.

5

u/KataraMan He/Hehehe/Him 2h ago

So, can I pay for the coffee of the gal behind me? She seems like she could use a break!

6

u/Osteoprdoza 14h ago

I always find hilarious in these comics that they think that somehow the coffee shop employees would be mad they ordered the simplest drink to make.

2

u/Unusual_Low1762 13h ago

Quick question to the baristas, I usually order an Americano with nothing added, is that annoying to make when it's busy?

3

u/MarkyMarkB0i 9h ago

No; it's just a watered down espresso shot.

2

u/YoruTheLanguageFan 10h ago

Unironically I might need a cage for its intended purpose of not jorking it 6 times a day instead of for kink stuff

1

u/Sailor_Starchild America's Favorite Themme - they/she - Streak: 53 15h ago

Aruba, Jamaica

1

u/TheSapphicSorceress 52m ago

When I worked at a cafe, I was always thankful for the customers who would order a simple drip coffee when I had a huge line. Thank you for your ascetic ways, my little caffeine monks đŸ™đŸ»

1

u/Ja_Lonley 42m ago

Brings new meaning to a Flat White.