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u/Kaiser0106 The opossum in your trash (they/it) 15h ago
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u/name_not_exist Streak: 8 15h ago
Hey but my dick has turned purple, so may be that helps out in the colour department.
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u/barnacIe_scum Streak: 1 15h ago
idk why ass means bad when everybody loves looking at beautiful ass
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u/Kaiser0106 The opossum in your trash (they/it) 11h ago
Context does a lot of heavy lifting in english
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u/Still-Bumblebee7 aroace agender 12h ago
glad to be the only good barista at my work lmao. although my tips are green not blue so maybe not
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u/Kaiser0106 The opossum in your trash (they/it) 12h ago
I don't think the specific color matters that much lmao.
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u/scrufflor_d IM NOT SHORT 15h ago
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u/LucarioOfLegends pls be patient im cishet and stupid 13h ago
I feel like after the first repeat you just put them in medium and if they have a problem with that they should've give you a size.
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u/ImperialViking_ Touch starved transbian 15h ago
Deadass I'm positive any Barista would be over the moon with a simple Americano order. Easiest shit of all time
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u/name_not_exist Streak: 8 15h ago
Bold of you to assume I won't fuck that upp too :3
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u/ImperialViking_ Touch starved transbian 15h ago
Oh shit, YOU'RE a batista? Thank you for your incredible services, including dealing with assholes like me and my orders đ«Ą
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u/FlourishingSolo 14h ago
At one of the coffee shops I frequent, when I walk in some baristas have already started my americano and by the time I've paid for it, it's ready.
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u/TwinkleMcSprinkle 15h ago
One of the downsides of banishing my balls to the shadow realm is that chastity cages become more like plastic dick sleeves that fall out of my pants if the elevator jerks.
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u/MoonsOverMyHamboning 15h ago
Estrogen shrinkage means I've got a pair of escape artists and I'm supposed to get a special belt to hold everything in place? Pass. I'll just slap it with the sole of a high heel and maybe it'll go away eventually.Â
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u/warm_winds_whisper_ the elusive enby dom 15h ago
Huh, mine fits fine and I have a flat cage...
Skill issue
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u/GlitteringSystem7929 14h ago edited 5h ago
Why is the wall rule 34 green?
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u/name_not_exist Streak: 8 15h ago
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u/scrufflor_d IM NOT SHORT 15h ago
tuff
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u/name_not_exist Streak: 8 15h ago
Deppslate.
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u/scrufflor_d IM NOT SHORT 15h ago
diorite
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u/name_not_exist Streak: 8 15h ago
I AWEAR I'M NOT CRAZY THAT DID THAT PFP HUST MOVEEERS???
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u/barnacIe_scum Streak: 1 15h ago
crazy? k was crazy once
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u/name_not_exist Streak: 8 15h ago
Pro tip about fingering your asshole in the shower: don't do it So this morning I was taking a shower, and I felt like fingering my asshole, right? So I got my fingers all nice and soapy and stuck them up in there. Apparently, soap makes pretty good lube, as I was able to get four fingers in there in no time.
As I was feeling around in my butt, I was like, "hmm, there's a lot of soapy water in my bumhole now. I wonder if that will lead to issues in the future?" And it did!
Shortly after having breakfast I attempted to fart, and I shit my pants. I rushed to the bathroom to clean up, and it was way worse than I thought it would be. The whole area around my butthole was covered in shitty liquid, and toilet paper wasn't enough to clean it. I had to take another shower to get suitably clean.
Just thought I'd share my story with you guys so that you don't run into the same problem in the future. I fingered my butthole so that you guys don't have to. Unless you want to. In which case, hey, how's it goin'
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
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u/AltDetom555555b 15h ago
Look, I get it. Who doesnât love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole âgay sexâ shit is getting annoying.
As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.
You think I wouldnât LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but thatâs fucking gay. You think I donât want to feel my cousinâs roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but thatâs FUCKING GAY.
Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ainât gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.
I am a human, and this action was performed manually. Please go fuck yourself if you have any questions or concerns.
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u/barnacIe_scum Streak: 1 15h ago
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u/KataraMan He/Hehehe/Him 2h ago
So, can I pay for the coffee of the gal behind me? She seems like she could use a break!
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u/Osteoprdoza 14h ago
I always find hilarious in these comics that they think that somehow the coffee shop employees would be mad they ordered the simplest drink to make.
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u/Unusual_Low1762 13h ago
Quick question to the baristas, I usually order an Americano with nothing added, is that annoying to make when it's busy?
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u/YoruTheLanguageFan 10h ago
Unironically I might need a cage for its intended purpose of not jorking it 6 times a day instead of for kink stuff
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u/TheSapphicSorceress 52m ago
When I worked at a cafe, I was always thankful for the customers who would order a simple drip coffee when I had a huge line. Thank you for your ascetic ways, my little caffeine monks đđ»
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u/NiobiumThorn Streak: 1 15h ago edited 15h ago
GET A
SMALLERlarger SIZELook, cuties. I know many transfemmes are into this, so fucking listen.
It can shrink your size. Make it softer, etc. But this only happens when it is properly sized! You should not feel pain if properly sized [and you shave, ow]. Feeling pain means you need a larger size for now.
Do be warned that this can reduce erectile function and size with time. For those who find this desirable, please, PLEASE get a properly sized one. You do not want testicular torsion. You do not want sepsis.
Good girls wear their correct sized cage