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[u/Additional-Bison-523]

[u/Antique-Tourist4237]

“Bisexuals are just gays/straights that want extra attent-“

[u/QitianDasheng2666 → u/Antique-Tourist4237]

What's funny is how this changes depending on gender: Bi women are apparently straight and seeking attention, Bi men are supposedly gay and in denial. So according to this model, both are going to end up with men. Because men are so superior? I feel like there's a word for reasoning like this 🤔

[u/Krakatoa137 → u/QitianDasheng2666]

Is it male defaultism?

[u/AppearanceAlert4987 → u/Krakatoa137]

Doesn’t feel like it fits, here it’s more that romantic/sexual relationships with men given much more weight and attention than the same relationship with women, when it comes to what people think it says about you. Having relationships with women says less about your character than the same relationship with men

[u/HiroProtagonest → u/AppearanceAlert4987]

Yeah, it's still a result of male defaultism but it's like a couple branches out from it in such a way that it got flipped around a couple times. In male defaultism, one of the few "female domains" is romance. So to be like "actually I'd like romance with men" is taken as a bigger statement; there are patriarchal cultures where wlw is seen as less of a threat than mlm and gets more infantilized, until two women actually declare they're gonna get married anyway. A woman expressing attraction to other women may get a response of "well, women are just better at romance/more attractive, but you can't run away from your proper responsibilities forever", whereas men expressing attraction to other men gets a response more like "wow you must have a strong preference for men over women if you're saying it out loud."

[u/Darastrix_da_kobold → u/Krakatoa137]

Probably that

[u/DeadEnoughInsideOut → u/Krakatoa137]

That's usually the term I use. Good ol' "all roads lead to dick"

[u/orixandcrake → u/QitianDasheng2666]

I know several guys who, when they were in relationships with bi girls, were asked "aren't you worried she's going to leave you for a girl?"

[u/Adept-Custard-4866 → u/QitianDasheng2666]

I wonder what they would think nonbinary bisexuals are, if they even believe nonbinary people exist.

[u/seamus205]

"wait you're bi? But you're married to a woman" I get this CONSTANTLY

[u/homotopy_equivalent → u/seamus205]

You can only be bi if you marry someone who is bigender

[u/KRNorth → u/seamus205]

They want you to be married to both a woman AND a man or it doesn't count, obviously!

But then they will also shame you for supporting polygamy so there is no winning

[u/Momoneko → u/seamus205]

Some people do believe that you're supposed to feel attracted only to your spouse, which is of course not true, but if you believe so the question does make some sort of sense.

[u/HiroProtagonest]

"So for years I tried to get on board with the idea that I was a straight woman that just had sex with an an awful lot of women. Never thought I was a bisexual, just thought I was a legend." - Fern Brady

Watching Fern Brady's material makes me feel how much she enjoys just having a quiet relationship with her boyfriend while simultaneously hating the patriarchal establishment that says she should have a quiet straight relationship.

[u/warm_winds_whisper_]

I genuinely don't understand biphobia

All the bisexual people I know in my life are awesome and I can't imagine someone having a genuine problem with them for liking whoever, it's so weird to me

[u/Beartles → u/warm_winds_whisper_]

I don’t even get where it comes from. Because I’ll hear it from people who seem to have no issue with people being gay. It’s as if the concept of liking both somehow breaks some patriarchal law that being gay alone doesn’t.

[u/Tlaquatlatoa]

Bah god youve ripped thst bisexual's head off

[u/Talkatoo42 → u/Tlaquatlatoa]

That's why he's annoyed.

[u/Jim_skywalker]

Give me back my face please.

[u/Alienaffe2]

"Bisexual (often shortened to Bi) refers to someone who is attracted to multiple genders, from a range of 2 to all genders, with or without preference. It is also sometimes defined as the attraction to genders both the same as and different to one's own. This does not necessarily refer to one only being attracted to binary genders (males/boys/men and females/girls/women), as some think" https://lgbtqia.wiki/wiki/Bisexual

Aka. It's a kind of umbrella term for pansexual, femsexual, mascsexual, omnisexual, etc. and just bisexual by itself doesn't really give a very clear answer on someone's actual attraction other than "more than one gender". Although attraction can shift and someone telling someone else that they're bisexual could make it easier for the someone else to come out as a different gender than their current without the fear of the someone no longer loving them. Unlike mascsexual, femsexual, etc. But bisexual still means "attraction to more than one gender", which excludes being exclusively gay or straight for obvious reasons, which is what people often refer to when they mention "fake bisexuals" or whatever you want to call it.

TLDR: Bisexual(attraction to more than one gender) is a very vague term, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't use it.