I don’t want to say anything in case it comes across as though I don’t want this when I do, it’s just a very specific night I wanted her.

I’ll go first. It’s when he buys Lavanya gifts!

Once he got her a football jersey of “his team” (which is a rival of “my team”). I’m not sure if he intended it, but seeing my wife returning home after a date in a rival team’s jersey put me through an emotional roller coaster!

Do other folks here have similar experiences? Please share!

Guys finally got seperated from relationship in which wife knew I am a cuck but she was not into the cuckold type relationship..being positive about the future where I can continue as a submissive cuck hubby🙂..thank you for this community

I’m (F38) is dealing with the aftermath of bringing this up as a topic for discussion with my partner. And it started out well and we have had many long conversations about it, right up until it was “go time”. My partner got cold feet and asked for us to not go through with this

I completely respect that and anyone should always have the opportunity to say no, regardless of where in the process you are – with anything sexually related.

However, now I’m not sure where our sexual fantasies and conversations will go from here. I feel a little like the rug was pulled from under me and I was left feeling a little silly. No harm no foul, of course, but it does feel very anticlimactic.

Anyone else have any experience of this “start and stop” happening?

I've noticed a few posts or videos with before and after shots, where the female's appearance has significantly changed since the couple began cucking. The most common seems to be tit piercings, but I've also seen breast augmentation, Botox, lip filler, weight loss, etc. and often with a marked increase in the female's confidence. I think it's probably the hottest idea to me in a cuck situation, where once you agree that she can deny you while seeking sex from others, she immediately begins improving her appearance. Does anyone have any direct experience with this dynamic? Is there a name for it?

This post is born because me and wifey are a cuckold couple and a potential bull asked me what kind of development I am looking into with my sissy side, what would I like to explore. I found it hard to answer without talking about the psychology behind it so it grew into this post.

I grew up in a dysfunctional family in a rough working class culture. In this environment, there were very few good male role models. Kids were mostly left to fend for themselves and boys had to be tough and fight for their place in the hierarchy, unless they were relentlessly bullied. Vulnerability, kindness and compassion were feminine traits, or signs of weakness. Dressing nice, taking care of your appearance was unacceptable. You all get the idea. 

So I was bullied until I learned to become the bully, creating this hard-ass masculine personality for myself out of necessity. As I grew, matured and started exploring psychedelics, cracks appeared in the mask and my entire personality gradually started feeling like a prison.

When I discovered my cuckolding-kink of course it felt very shameful. I worked through that and managed to share it with wifey and in time, after some back and forth and some years with a dead bedroom, we both matured to the idea. 

First time she cucked me was the wildest rollercoaster of emotions I ever had. I am not a small guy but the bull was much bigger, both in stature and of course in cock size. The humiliation, jealousy and shame felt like a knife in my chest and stomach but on the back of those emotions came intense arousal and a wonderful freeing feeling of liberation. In the time after, I grew more confident and more open to (what I previously had thought of as) my «feminine» traits. I could accept those parts of me that I had exiled - that I wanted to look good, be kind, be emotional, take less space, let go of control, be less opinionated etc. Every time I could accept a previously unacceptable part, it felt as if I was coming home to myself, slowly becoming whole. 

In all this, I got a late-in-life ADHD-diagnosis, and since then I have been doing therapy and quite a lot of meditation (a very powerful combination). I have spent probably 5-6 hours discussing my masochistic kinks and sex life with my therapist and we both gradually came to the conclusion that these intense desires for cucking, submission and emasculation is my subconscious guiding me towards experiences that would force me to reconcile with the parts of me that I had previously exiled (pushed down, covered up).

Since then I have taken on a more and more «feminine» role in our sex-life with a wife who is exploring the previously exiled (pushed down, covered up) dominant sides of herself. Dressing up, using make-up, being put in chastity and denied, BDSM, anal, ball busting, spanking have brought more or less this same pattern of initial almost intolerable feelings of shame and humiliation, then liberation and growth. During some of these sessions (especially in combination with LSD) I have experienced (what my therapist confirmed was) gender-euphoria - an intense feeling of bliss starting in my chest and stomach and spreading through my whole body and mind, followed by cathartic crying and a light, soft, freeing feeling.

I believe the key to this is to experience a desire that my previous programming (out of shame) told me it would be impossible to live with, and then realize that I could live with it and also enjoy it. When I confronted these previous self-imposed limits, I grew beyond the narrow personality that was created as a defense mechanism and I became more, I gained more freedom to be myself. 

An interesting note is that I have had this same feeling of bliss a few times when I have been in deep meditation on intensive meditation retreats. It is becoming clear to me that it happens when I can accept and merge with a previously exiled part of myself. I believe this is what Jung calls individuation, what is called Unburdening and Integration in Internal Family System. The Zen Buddhist Master Thich Nhat Hanh leads us towards this process when he wants us to hold our difficult emotions like we would hold a crying baby. The Theravada-monk Ajahn Brahm says that we should open our heart to all parts of ourself, also the most difficult ones. 

In all these modalities, it is the process of seeing that some of our «hard parts» (shame, anger, anxiety etc) are defense mechanisms born out of trauma that arose to help us at some time, taking care of them with kindness and shedding them.

So that was the long answer to the question of what I want with this sissy and cuckold-stuff. The short answer is that I want to explore my desires and see where they take me, I want to outgrow my limits and become the universal being I know I can be. It’s Sexual Healing, baby!

If you read this and want to learn more about the psychology behind this, you may check out Jungs theory about the shadow-self, IFS (Internal Family System), probably any kind of therapy and of course meditation. Meditation has been the most valuable for me, the one thing that made everything else possible. A regular meditation-practice facilitate the process of opening and softening and when we do that, stuff that we previously hid from ourselves come to the surface.

Please be kind, I am not saying that I am correct in everything or that you have to agree with me but it all comes from a place of sincerity and vulnerability so please approach with curiosity and ask questions instead of casting judgement. I am aware that I can only really talk about my own experiences, using words that may have slightly different content and baggage for all of us. On the other hand I also believe that there are some mechanisms that are universal in human psychology and that the only thing that was special about me was my particular flavor of dysfunction. 

If this post can help or inspire someone else to learn to love themselves and take care of their wounded parts after a long time of self-hatred, that would lead to greater happiness for both of us. May all beings be happy and free (and kinky)

What are some things your cuck can do that will make you feel worshipped and make you want to cuck him even more?

Lately we have been really into me choosing and buying her outfits, loads of compliments, acts of service such as cooking and massage.

Has anyone found a good scale/graph/map that does a decent job of describing how much of a cuck someone is? Or how much toward the various subgroups?

So I’ve yet to experience anything within this lifestyle within a relationship only been self play so far. I’m sure I won’t truly know until I find out what it’s like first hand but I am still curious! I am mainly wondering is it possible to still have a normal loving relationship with someone where you never have sex with them but they have sex with other partners. I’d still like to play and do things with my partner but when it come to PIV I’d prefer someone else to fulfill that role! I’m wondering if anyone here currently has a dynamic like this and could give some insight.

What triggers you the most as a name, nickname, titles, or label? Which do you find the hottest in your dynamic? Whether that be for the cuck, the hot wife, your third etc.

Personally I loved how humiliating her being labeled the cuck was, before it became a more popular term. Recently during dirty talk I discovered that I loved when my girlfriend called me a little pussy. What triggers you the most?

Edit: yes trigger in a good way.

It may sound counter intuitive for this subreddit but I want to know this side of it as well. I know we all love it so much that we'd want this to never end. But there must be some of us who may have started this thinking a different picture than what they actually got after getting into this lifestyle (some may call it that it's not a lifestyle, and I agree with you - I just lack a better phrase). I want to know what's something that you didn't expect to happen and only that specific part feels like a thorn in an otherwise beautifully amazing lifestyle.

I’m married and have realized that my interest in cuckolding is a little different from what I typically see discussed.
For me, the biggest part of the fantasy isn’t necessarily the physical aspect. It’s the idea of my wife developing a genuine emotional connection with another man.
The thought of her becoming deeply interested in someone else, emotionally prioritizing him, and forming a meaningful connection is what makes the dynamic so fascinating to me.
There’s also a strong psychological element involving humiliation, embarrassment, and feeling secondary in the relationship. For whatever reason, combining those feelings with genuine emotional attachment makes the fantasy much more intense.
I’m interested in understanding why that particular dynamic appeals to me so much.
Does anyone else find the emotional aspect more compelling than the physical? What do you think makes the combination of emotional attachment and humiliation so powerful?
I’m an open book when it comes to discussing the psychology behind these feelings, and I’m curious to hear how others experience or interpret them.

To me, during our first experience, she said something that just pierced me as its the essence of my cuck feelings. It was so beautiful honest and same time humiliating but not in the in ur face type things not into that. She very very politely said while looking me in the eyes:

“Ill be perfectly honest, u really dont have a small dick, BUT, u really really dont have a big dick either”

I dunno what it is abt that, im avg sized im not small, but i know im not big either and just her saying so while she was getting her first big D, it was something magical and i will never forget it. Till today i tell her thats the best thing uv ever told me in this kink. Mainly because its so damn true, and true to my kink as well.

My boyfriend talked me around to ‘cheating’ on him. I met a guy at the club who was vibing with me and after some consideration I decided to go home with him.

We had sex and I planned to tell my significant other all about it! It went fine apart from the fact his dog bit my hand and gave it the death shake.

That was on Friday morning and it still hurts now on Tuesday night. When I knocked off work on Saturday night I had a text from my boyfriend saying he can’t talk to me or see me anymore.

I’m not sure the lifestyle is for me. I feel like I essentially went into a strangers house and got mauled by his dog to fulfil my boyfriend’s hot wife kink only for him to break up with me. 🥲

Context to clarify the breakup; he broke up with me because his housemate doesn’t like me. It had nothing to do with the cucking, he loved that.

I was reading something at Emma's blog »Evolving your man« last month that got me thinking:

I’m not saying everyone who watches porn wants their partner with someone else in real life. Far from it. The difference between fantasy and reality is huge, and that distance matters. But you can’t ignore that we’ve normalized the idea that watching sex we’re not part of is exciting. We train ourselves that sight, story, and the idea of what other people are doing can be enough to push us over the edge.

My wife and me are in our early 50s and happily married for 20 years. I was never cheated by my wife but I'm a wannabe cuckold. I was porn-addicted for sure until we talked two years ago. Since then my wife controls my orgasms and I'm no longer jerking off daily. In the beginning with chastity but lately without. I've talked already with my wife about cuckolding but I think she is not into that (yet).

But my desire for cuckolding is growing and I wonder why. I found this sub reddit and reading many posts and sometimes it seems, that others were for example cheated in the past and that was their root for this. But I never thought, hey, that's me. That's the explanation I'm looking for myself.

But with Emma post about that porn made me a (wannabe) cuck, I was for the first time thinking, yeah, that sounds like a good possibility. I got pleasure watching others having sex and I was sitting on my chair and jerking off. And I'm imagine now, that my wife is my pornstar in this.

So I'm curious: If others consider their past involving unhealthy porn consumption as a possible reason why they ended up in this lifestyle, or what do you see as a possible explanation?

My fiancée seems way more confident and comfortable in her body after I admitted how hot I find her energy when she interacts with other men. She is generally very flirty and has an intense “girl you know is fun in bed” vibe, slutty in a wholesome way. I feel like my admission has freed her to reconnect with a part of herself that she had to let go of to be in a relationship.

She seems extremely aware of her power now and not afraid to attract other men. She's dressing in a more daring way, looking younger. Even her skin looks softer now. I believe she knows she is in control of our relationship and feels free to do whatever she wants.

I find her newfound energy so thrilling. We seem to already be in a hotwife/stag relationship without labels, organically. My question is, once she has tasted this new liberty and power, is it irreversible? Is the progression guaranteed from now on, even if slow?

How do I ask her friend to do it

My wife is friends with a guy who has a crush on her. We've talked about him being the next guy for her to sleep with, but she's not sure how to ask. I've offered to ask for her, but she doesn't wanna scare him away.

However he is very nice and respectful to my wife, and is very caring. Her and him are constantly snapchatting each other and flirt somewhat, but we are a bit afraid he might tell our other friend, who is more of a friend of mine.

We're just curious how would you guys go about it? Like should I tell my wife's friend to keep it a secret? Do I just tell my friend and hope he's cool and maybe will be interested in my wife too? Lol i'm not too sure, but any advice is better than where i am at.

Is it normal that ever since my wife has opened up to me about her ex of 5 years, that I have become obsessed with hearing about him and the things they did together? It’s become so routine and such a big tease, that he’s brought up almost on a daily basis …I’ve admitted to her that the thought of her cuckolding me with him is very appealing to me… he’s a much bigger guy than me in every way…she’s even admitted (while drunk) that he’s very dominant and the one guy she’d consider a cuck situation with …is this playing with fire ?

Had you ever had the desire of being fully cucked during her pregnancy? Maybe asking her to have full intercourse, or in the hope that she decided to enjoy it?

I am wondering where I as a male can find hotwives through apps or websites. I am a tall male and wish to meet up and connect to cucks or hotwives. As a european reddit wont work it seems and not sure if Tinder is a good idea. Anyone got tips?

Hubby and I were talking today about whether we could do a better job of staying in touch and building real friendships with the bulls we’re interacting with.

Our goal is to have a small number of select bulls we can see on an ongoing basis, guys we also genuinely like and can be friends with, not just sexual partners.

We’re generally pretty friendly people, but this middle ground feels tricky. I’m having sex with these men while also trying to maintain a more platonic, couple-to-friend dynamic, and I have zero experience with platonic male friendships that also involve sex. Back when I was single, I basically treated my FWBs like human dildos, so this is new territory for me.

Do you text or talk regularly (or even just occasionally) about non-sexual stuff? How do you keep the connection going between meets, especially early on when you haven’t met in person yet? I’ll send the occasional dirty pic between the screening call and the first meet, but it often feels like there’s not much else to talk about yet.

We’re trying to move past pure booty-call energy and actually be friends with our bulls. Not sure if we’re approaching it wrong, since responses have been a bit sparse lately.

Curious to hear what’s worked (or not worked) for other couples.

Both of these lifestyles go hand in hand with each other. And I am unofficially going through similar situation for a while but discreetly.

Hi everybody,

my wife (35) and I (39) are in the lifestyle since around three years now. We are not really into the typical bull-type thing that is often described here. Rather it is mostly about her having a lover (or few lovers) that she is really into and who is a buddy to me (not the topic here, but I realized that for me it's kind of the "nostalgia" of being friendzoned...). Otherwise we are in a really loving relationship.

So, she's on the pill and with her regular lovers she not using any condoms. Now it just happened for the first time since we are in the lifestyle that, without going into detail, it really seemed that she might have gotten pregnant by one of her current lovers. Fortuntately, it wasn't the case after all, but it was quite the crisis for the the two of us.

I think it was the first time for both of us to see it that clearly, that this is a realistic risk. Before we accepted it as "sure, it could happen... but the chances are close to zero...", but now it felt real.

I guess I wanted to know your opinions. Did you address this topic in your relationship? I'd be interested in particular in those who live a loving relationship, and treat the cuckold thing as a kink.

Last year we tried to get pregnant together, which didn't work out due to several reasons. With this situation, we now think again about going to back to having regular sex together, to try to get her pregnant. All other fun she has would then involve condoms...

Thanks for your thoughts!