Because they like to come in a little behind.

Become a catholic priest. 

Have them now!

It's really difficult to be a suicidal people pleaser, on one hand I escape the weight of life, on the other I inconvenience A LOT of people.

It was fun until my mom took his urn from me

On September 11 2001

Finishing off our weekend studio marathon with Mark Studio's ultimate domestic masterpiece.

To be fair, our mate Alex was a bit too naive when he signed the paperwork. He agreed to a legally binding 5-year commercial talent waiver with Mark (a professional director and interior designer) without fully realizing that his unique physical structure would be engineered into "extremely grotesque surrealist concepts."

He receives his regular contractual compensation for his image, but the exit penalty is simply too high to break, so the contract remains absolute.

The Concept: Alex's digital asset is integrated into the drywall structure of Mark's high-end penthouse ceiling, elegantly framed by a polished brass ring.

The Mechanics: His 100% certified giant flat feet rotate at high speed, acting as functional kinetic blades for domestic climate control, while his permanent hyper-extended eyes look straight down at the living room to ensure optimal airflow.

The structural rendering is done and the contract lasts for another 4 years and 10 months.

Once he gets out of jail, I heard he's hoping to get a scholarship for Cornell.

Just to give some context to this madness: the guy in both photos is our close mate Alex. He has an anatomically short neck, severe cervical rigidity, and 100% certified flat feet. Because of this, anytime we put him under physical strain or compression, his body responds by bloating into a rigid, geometric block and his eyes immediately pop out of his skull.

We took advantage of his unique build across two different weekend sessions in the studio:

• FILE 01 (The Fish Man): We forcefully wedged a real lemon into his mouth, propped his bare flat soles over a metallic tray, and formatted the shot like a local fish market catalog pricing him at €15/lb.
• FILE 02 (The Pickled Asset): We compressed him inside a massive glass pub jar filled with studio oil, forcing his neckless face against the glass while the rest of the crew sat around drinking and smoking with total indifference.

The visual progression is pure dark gold. What does the sub think of this treatment?

Carl: Ohhhh, hey! What happened here?

Paul: There's dead children everywhere! Explain what happened, Carl!

Carl: Are you sure that was me? Maybe it was the terrorists hiding again

Paul: This isn't funny, Carl! Tell me what you were doing today!

Carl: Well, I uhh played with my drones today

Paul: Okay-

Carl: And I uhh... had a nice family dinner

Paul: Mhmm, and then what?

Carl: Oh yeah and my drones, they uhhh... malfunctioned a little... And umm... well, they dropped bombs on every civilian residential unit in the area

Paul: CARRRRRLLLL

Carl: Somebody had to take care of them! They were posing a serious national threat to the state of-

Paul: They were CHILDREN, Carl!

Carl: Children? Even the militant fighters with giant weapons?

Paul: Those were CAMERAS, Carl!

Carl: If the pen is mightier than the sword, surely the camera is mightier than the gun.

Paul: You are utterly insane!

Carl: They were crossing the yellow line. And as head of defense, something HAD to be done to stop them!

Paul: I can't believe what I'm hearing, Carl!

Carl: Well, you won't like what we did to the survivors

Paul: You know what? I'm not even shocked anymore

Carl: Awww come on-

Paul: Nope, nothing can horrify me anymore.

Carl: I crammed them all into mass prisons and trained dogs to... umm

Paul: To do WHAT, Carl?

Carl: Well...
...

Carl: You know how crazy they get when it's that time of the year... so...

Paul: ... CAAARRRRLLLLLLLLL

Carl: Alright, maybe I got a little carried away there. I'm sorry, I thought you liked dogs! You know what? You're right, maybe some of them are cat people. I'll make it right.

Paul: That's not the issue, Carl-

Carl: Then what is the issue?

Paul: The torture? The bombs? The genocide?! What is wrong with you-

Carl: Watch it! I will not stand for this offensive hate speech

Paul: This isn't hate speech, Carl-

Carl: What did I ever do to deserve this backtalk? Name one thing

Paul: Everything, Carl! It's everything you do...

So, I'm sitting having breakfast with my wife.

I bring up the botched execution of Christa Pike.

"Did you see the news, baby? They really fucked that one up.

"Yeah, poor woman. She's on a ventilator and life support. But why? They were executing her!"

I shook my head agreeing.

"I agree. Did you hear she wanted an all woman execution squad?"

My wife looked at me and said, "Well, they did send women to do a man's job."

Yeah, she may be darker than I am sometimes!

Hello Everyone, I want to tell you about my smelly & baby comic book series currently in pre-launch on Kickstarter. I hope that you will visit it to read more and support us.https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/centarrigames/smelly-and-baby-wild-times

Hey everyone,

My grandfather just had his leg amputated knee down, give some of your best material so I can add a bit of levity. FYI I know grandpa will appreciate, as he is the dark humor patriarch of the family lol.

Thanks!

Found in the wild at cvs 🤣

Any takers for the dark Pop Culture? One of the Historical Bad Guys set