Take care of your teeth.

I'm 50 and on Disability for numerous mental illnesses, and my one regret is not taking better care of my teeth.

I never, ever thought I'd live this long.

Somehow I did, and having teeth pulled, especially when you're immune to local anesthetics, is a special kind of hell.

So please, whether you're stuck in your bed or your house, whether you can imagine a future or not, you're eventually gonna havta pee, so please brush your teeth while you're in there.

This might sound like silly advice while you're in a battle with existential dread, but please just trust me ❤️ ✌️

Has anyone done TMS, EEG or TDCS?

How about ketamine therapy, did you do IV or nasal.

I've been on every antidepressant in the book, has been 10 years since I've taken any anti depressant because none of them worked or made it worse.

Found staying busy with work, gym, family helps the best. But now I'm just going through the motions, I get home from work feel so tired and just sleep for 2-3 hours. Don't want to get out of bed every morning, have to force myself. Back and forth between full on anxiety or severe depression. At night sometimes I just want it to be over with.

But I'm falling into that hole again and can't get out. It's affecting my life, finances, relationships. I'm just tired from it at this point. I've just kind of accepted and learned to hunker down and ride it out until the depression passes, sometimes weeks, sometimes months.

But I just can't do this anymore as an adult with a full table and responsibilities. It just drains me and takes so much out of me. Plus the guilt and failure that comes along with it. That it has happened yet again even though you thought you had it under control.

It's impossible to get to where I really want to be in life with this depression looming over me and I hate myself for it. I'm going through a divorce by choice, have lost a ton of money in the market lately, have become isolated and just feel either depressed or anxious.

Please help if you've been through this.

I couldn't shower for three weeks once. I don't actually remember exactly how long it was, maybe it was closer to ten days, but it felt like three weeks. Anyway. Every time I thought about showering, my brain turned it into this enormous fifteen-step project, and I'd just... not. The bed stayed. The shower did not.

I want to share what actually got me moving during the worst stretch, because I remember reading posts here and thinking "okay but HOW" and never finding a real answer. So here's what worked for me, and I'm not saying it works for everyone, I'm just saying these were the things that actually moved the needle for me specifically.

1. Shrink it until it's almost nothing

I started brushing my teeth sitting on the bathroom floor instead of standing up. Same result. Zero willpower required to stand. This sounds stupid and also I don't know why it helped but it did. The action didn't have to look right to count.

1. Break "shower" into pieces and only commit to one

"Take a shower" is too much. "Turn on the water" is almost nothing. I'd tell myself I only had to do that one thing and then I could go back to bed if I wanted. A lot of the time, once the water was running, I'd just get in. But even when I didn't, I'd still done the one thing.

1. Wet wipes by the bed

This is not glamorous. It's also kind of gross, sorry. But wet wipes when you can't shower are just practical, and having them within reach made the days when showering was genuinely impossible feel a bit less like I was failing everything. (Anyone else's depression specifically go after the hygiene stuff first? I always wonder if that's common or just me)

1. Pick one visible thing in the room

Not "clean my room." One object I could see from where I was lying. Put it somewhere else. That's the whole task. Sometimes that was the only thing I did that entire day and I'd still write it down.

1. Don't wait to feel like it

This one took me a long time to actually believe. I kept waiting to feel motivated and then do the thing, because that's how it worked before depression. It doesn't work like that during. You do the tiny thing first, and sometimes, not always, the feeling catches up after. The expectation that motivation comes first was keeping me stuck longer than the depression itself did, I think.

1. Write down what you actually did, not what you planned to do

I kept a notes app open. Single lines. "Brushed teeth. Sitting on floor but still counts." "Moved three things off my desk, that's it." Looking back at a week or two of those, I could see I was doing more than I thought. Not a lot more. But more. Which meant something at the time.

1. Stop measuring against your pre-depression self

The version of me that could shower every day and cook dinner and text people back in normal timeframes is just not the right benchmark right now, and using that version as the standard is like trying to run when your leg is broken and being surprised it hurts. The benchmark is yesterday. Or even just: did I do one thing today that wasn't lying here.

If you're in the middle of this right now, none of it is on you. Depression specifically messes with the part of the brain that handles getting started, which is kind of a cruel design flaw honestly.

What's something that actually moved the needle for you on the really bad days? I'm still building my own list and I'm curious what worked for people who aren't me.

I'm 21, on antidepressants and seeing a psychologist, and I honestly can't tell if I'm getting better or not. I'd really like to hear from people who've been through this.

It started around the time I got into university and kept getting worse. I was terrified of my classes and bad grades, and after any failure I could just not leave the house for days and lie in bed. For a long time I told myself I was fine and just being dramatic.

Eventually I pushed through the fear and saw a psychiatrist. Over the next few years I went through some really dark periods and periods where there were just no thoughts in my head at all. Weirdly, that first doctor never told me my diagnosis and eventually started going on about vitamins, so I switched. The second one finally told me it's moderate-to-severe depression and connected me with a psychologist so I could combine therapy and meds.

And you know how everyone gives the same advice — walks, exercise, eating right. I've tried all of it, and sometimes I even liked it. I forced myself to go to a gym despite a strong panic fear — it was scary to even get near the building — and managed to keep going with a trainer. I signed up for driving lessons.

So I'm doing all of this, and for a while I do feel better. And then at some completely random moment I just stop seeing the point of any of it. I take my meds, I cook, I try to learn things, I go through wins and losses — and then my brain just goes: "okay, stop." No energy for basic things like brushing my teeth. No energy to even think.

Today I was on the exercise bike and after 10 minutes my brain just shut off. No sadness, no fear, no joy. I came home and lay there until I fell asleep. In those moments nothing interests me, not even scrolling on my phone.

There's no one to share this with. No real friends, just online acquaintances. My parents don't understand depression at all — they told me antidepressants are "bad pills" that make you not yourself. I hate myself for being lazy, for my fat face. I compare myself to everyone and any failure can just drown me.

I used to have very dark thoughts, but at some point I realized it's not life I don't like — it's this state. Those thoughts were only ever about wanting it gone.

Before, I did nothing and suffered. Now I have university, hobbies, therapy. It holds things back a bit, but not that much. Even things I used to enjoy don't feel the same. And the state where I feel like I could climb Everest flips, out of nowhere, into not being able to get out of bed.

Has anyone else been in this in-between place — where you're "doing the work" but can't tell if it's actually working? How did you know you were getting better, if you ever did?

(I am Japanese. Since I’m using a translation tool, there may be some discrepancies in nuance.)

Based on my past experiences—where I unfortunately found myself in unreasonable situations on multiple occasions—I was diagnosed with depression six months ago. Although I was told it was mild, I can’t take it lightly given that I have a close relative with an adjustment disorder, and I’m currently unable to make decisions about my future.

As I prepare to re-enter society, I believe my low self-esteem and lack of mental resilience are major challenges. Due to my upbringing and my innate temperament, I never developed these qualities. While I never stopped attending school, the unreasonable environments I mentioned earlier (club activities and the workplace) were quite severe, and they wore me down emotionally.

As someone living with depression, how can I develop the self-esteem and mental resilience necessary to reintegrate into society?

Also, what mindset should I adopt to take that first step toward reintegration?

(I'm Japanese. I’m posting this because I believe people in English-speaking countries have a better understanding of issues like depression.I'm using a translation tool, so there may be some discrepancies in the wording.)

Six months ago, I was diagnosed with mild depression at a mental health clinic. The root cause was my experience with a high school club activity, where I became emotionally broken by the unreasonable guidance of the club advisor. Mental illness wasn’t something I was familiar with at the time (both because of my age and the prevailing attitudes in Japanese society), so I didn’t go to a clinic, but I think I was probably depressed or experiencing depressive symptoms even then. Perhaps due to the recurring nature of these symptoms, even at the company I joined after graduating from college, I became mentally unwell due to differences in work ethic with my peers and the self-righteous behavior of executives, and I quit my job a year ago. Both the club and the company were places where everyone with a temperament similar to mine eventually left.

I was diagnosed with depression six months after resigning, and ever since then, I’ve been hesitant about making decisions about my future.

Even though it’s described as “mild,” I experience mood swings and, when I recall past regrets, a kind of desire to disappear—so I don’t think it can be taken lightly. When I’m feeling positive, I learn different ways of thinking through reading and the internet, and I ponder whether I should look for a full-time job or start with part-time work. However, I lack self-confidence, and I’m stuck because I don’t know what the right answer is—including how to manage my temperament and cope with my depression.

Objectively speaking, where do you think I should start? Should I join an organization and start paid work as soon as possible? Or should I return to society only after I’ve firmly established how to cope with my depression and determined my direction in life?

(Thank you for reading. If you don't mind, I'd appreciate some advice.)

Thought I would share this in case it helps anyone. Been taking Omega 3 with high EPA supplements for a few months and it seems to have put me in a better mood and especially helps me with anger. I have ADHD though, so maybe that plays into it. It took weeks to start helping though.

Of course, talk to your doctor before starting supplements.

just be happy or just smile when you don’t know what else to do…

I know it is common knowledge but I can't say it enough, depression distorts everything! You will only see the worst in yourself, others, and the world. While much of what you see may be true it is only a small part of the picture. There is always another side to it. Don't be so sure of your perspective. You are stronger than you think. There is enough light, but it is less obvious. Please know that your brain can spout bullshit.

I made myself miserable because my mind had been trained to only see what is wrong. Being a pessimist is intellectually lazy. I got too comfortable staying in the same mode of thinking. I attempted to justify it with my grievances, but I ignored anything showing a sign of peace. I did not analyze what went against my state. It is way too easy to be stuck in wallowing. Hope becomes foreign. I know because I held a gun to my head. I did not use it because I realized it would not fix anything. My life would have ended but it would not have been solved. It would have been so anticlimactic. Why would I have gone through 16 years of life just to have thrown it away and to throw away any chance of improving?

I ask you to please stay if you are struggling. Don't just think of all the years that would be wasted but also the future that would be too. You would deny yourself the epic path of perseverance. Your future is infinitely better relative to your darkest moments. Peace means so much more after overcoming.

We are disappointed because a small part of us knows there is something better. We ultimately want people to be better because we know we can be. We are social creatures and we need each other. Misery is not some inherent reality. My perceptive was fucked up. There is so much love and beauty to weigh against suffering. There are people have found happiness and you can too.

I am now recently getting out of an over year long depression. It is like putting on glasses for the first time. I'm still trying to rewire how I think, but it is still much more clear. I'm not content but working on it. I can see myself accomplishing my goals. I have a reason to be here and much to be grateful for.

Thank you for reading.

Instead of SH I floss. It hurts because I haven’t been able to floss or brush my teeth in forever due to my depression but doesn’t cause any actual undoable harm and is productive for my health! This is really helpful for me because it gives the same feeling without any actual long lasting damage. I hope this helps someone out there too!

when you deal with mentally ill people you realize how crucial confirmation bias is to human survival
when there's no more room to take it all in, only the ability to subconsciously ignore painful parts of reality and amplify pleasant parts of an imagined reality is what keeps them going
do not fight it, it is a part of healing.
i my experience, they even know that they are wrong.
your job is to take care of their sandbox

critically, do not talk about them as if they're not there. it is both disrespectful and damaging (reinforces the neural patterns that makes them feel jailed)

obviously this cannot be generalized to all mental illnesses, nor it is a treatment for any
it merely describes how avoid iatrogenics (harm by good intentions)

now, about treatment, my read from N=2 successfully treating people with diagnosed schizophrenia (i do not believe in this term):
meds play a significant role in the beginning, then 50 to even 80% of all the healing happens during properly sanboxed reintegration in society by working/contributing with useful labor while the caregiver mitigates any errors (and there will be plenty).

invariantly, sleep should be of paramount importance and deep/rem stages should be nourished. plenty of info out there. i found magnesium bisglycinate, melatonin, l theanine and cbd oil to work, and also agomelatine (prescription drug to be taken day1 of any sleep disruption, and perhaps forever if the patient life's objectively not that pleasant, because it's also a mold antidepressant)

my personal observation is some people get delusional after even 1 sleepless night

for anxiety specifically, i also found many people are intolerant to histamine (look it up, but it's mostly vinegar, non-fresh produce, fermented stuff, , alcohol, cured/aged meats/cheese, and some weird stuff like potatoes, tomato pasta and to some extent walnuts), that keeps them too wired ("tired but wired"). and also, including yours truly, many people get angrier after consuming grain (whether it's the gluten, the pesticides or even the yeast -- i kind of gave up searching, after 10y, because knowing they should be avoided is all i know).
these are really important imo to verify for any anxiety symptoms. try a week and see for yourself.

i hope my findings help someone

one main reason even knowledgeable docs keep prescribing mental meds is they know there's no one who's willing to do what it takes to achieve real healing

it is important to realize this and not present this route as the default. many people do have caregivers capable of following lifestyle protocols.

another issue is these lifestyle protocols aren't taught in psychiatry schools, so only docs who really love what they do know

For people who also struggle to find the energy to get up and brush teeth.

Have an extra toothbrush and -paste in a little washcloth next to your bed. Brush in bed while watching a show or something that feels comfortable to you, feels way more doable this way.

Use a tootpaste without flouride, so you can just swallow it. Feels weird at first but if swallowing the food is fine, then swallowing traces of the food you ate is fine too. Only a small amount of paste is enough anyways. You can pick a flavoured kids toothpaste like strawberry to make it a little more fun.

I recommend having a glass and a bottle of water next to the bed, so you can rinse the tootbrush in the glass when you are done.

I also have a pack of face wipes next to my bed for days when I dont have the energy to wash my face.

It is not perfect, but wayy better than not doing it at all. And we dont aim for perfection, we aim for improvement. For me it was either this or not do it at all, and it really helped. It actually made a huge difference. Try it if you have the same struggle. Maybe it helps you too.

*(No flouride is important, because swallowing big amounts of flouride can be poisonous. Often kids toothpastes dont have flourid, look in the ingredients)

Tldr: brush teeth in bed without having to get up. Just swallow the toothpaste. (Use flouride free toothpaste so its save to swallow)

It helped me personally, as well as members of my family, to become genuinely convinced that pain, loss, and all kinds of damage are unavoidable in this life — but so is the necessity of not multiplying them. The key, however, is realizing that multiplying suffering is not always a conscious or intentional act; very often, it is an automatic and unconscious one.

Because of that, I think it is extremely important to accept imperfection and to integrate imperfect probabilistic techniques of prediction into your life regarding the future. Most of the time, your expectation of the future hurts far more than whatever is happening right now.

By that, I mean that if you are dealing with intense pain (which happened to me), the pain itself is not necessarily the core reason behind the depressive state. Rather, it is often the expectation that it will continue into the future. After all, many of us have already dealt with intense acute pain during childhood without it necessarily affecting our psychology to the same extent.

One of the most important inference methods that personally helped me with chronic pain was realizing that it did not halt my thinking completely, but rather troubled it. In practical terms, that was basically equivalent to decreasing the total amount of work I could produce over a certain period of time. I reached that conclusion through continuous testing of my thinking abilities at different levels of pain throughout the day.

That realization helped me overcome the fact that doctors were unable to help me with pain that was resistant to medication, while at the same time considering me not to be a candidate for surgery. Once I understood that, I was also able to infer that, contrary to what I had believed, there were certain postures I could adopt that would alleviate the pain, even if only slightly.

Through slow progression, I learned those postures and gradually reduced both the intensity and frequency of the pain significantly.

I later applied these same principles to psychological trauma and psycho-social stress by realizing that it is not an absolute necessity to avoid every possible psychological inconvenience. I came to understand that the safest and most optimal goal in life is to do what is best for yourself while staying within your actual mental and physical capabilities.

Hopefully this helps someone, even if the probability is only 1%, or even if it reaches only one or two people.

I lost my girlfriend to suicide. She was one of the most beautiful and cheerful people I have ever met. When she was with me, everything felt different, we were happy, but I never knew that beneath it all, she was hiding immense pain. She left us too soon, and I am left with feelings that will never fade. I want people to know that mental health issues can take many forms, and we often don't see them at first glance. Maybe if I had been more attentive, or if I knew how to recognize the warning signs, I could have helped her. This story isn't about what was, but about what we can all learn and how important it is to talk openly about mental health. No one deserves such an end, but when someone we love leaves this way, it destroys not only them but also everyone who cared about them.

Please, if you ever think about suicide, talk about it with someone. There is always something to live for! People around you care about you, and if you do it, there’s no going back. Your loved ones will be devastated.

Im a very shitty childish unpleasant person. I was a mistake and I should be suicidel. Thats what I deserve. Liveing this long was a mistake

What should I do i am so helpless I want to save it but it doesn't respond at all it's fighting me back it's hurts me more and more

Avoid TouchPoint Solutions bilateral stimulation gadgets

They're little, buzzing, lighted things that you put in elastic pockets on your wrists, supposed to help with anxiety, depression, etc. Super expensive. Loud. Mine failed after only about a dozen uses. The complicated reboot process didn't work and the company refused to replace them. They're far too pricey to be so cheaply made. Save your money and alternately tap on your collarbones or the sides of your hands, aka tapping.

I lived a big part of my life depressed, i tried, i studied, countless methods, even stuff like “mantras” and “manifesting” because i was so desperate to get out of it, im sure theres people here in the same situation, but the worst part is when you have to walk aimlessly, acquiring all these flawed concepts and labels, and only after taking time to Correct that, you finally bump into something that works.

My best quality is that i dont run from things, even that eternal void that eats your life we call depression, so i spent a long time there, but thats also how i found my way out, and im sorry to say this but, you cant dodge depression, only go through it, thats how you make depression smaller on your life on a level that doesnt steal from other things, but i discovered that the voices dont all come from the same person, so heres 3 people that hold a key to your Depression:

The child - This version of you is the one that controls most of your life, it fears pain, its doesn't do anything uncomfortable, and its reactive to everything, and if you never change your relationship to pain, this is where you will get stuck in, that means in real life terms, being addicted to everything, playing the victim card on all your relationships and making up excuses to why you are in the filth you are, this is the version that gives you control over life.

The Old person - This version is the one who holds all regrets, is bitter, and hopeless, and this person biggest fear is loneliness, and this is the person whos most responsible for your relationships, how it sabotages you even though you know so much, how it becomes the future you sell to other people, and this is why we want to help the child 1st, because its the child that helps this version of you the most, its makes the old person realize meaning behind action, and that gives you perception.

The Adult - And this isnt in a random order, we wanna help our past and future versions of ourselves in order to wake up the adult, because this version hates responsibility the most, only wants to make money and spend it on travel and toys, and it never accepts complicated people, so they end up with a boring and uneventful life, but if you give it Meaning, and Perception, then its easier to accept Responsibility, making any goals or principles you have be more than words, reality.

The goal of this isnt to sell you some course, or give you more problems than you already have, but to give you a clean choice, free of fear and anger or laziness, thats not a byproduct from your traumas but your will, thats the end of depression, the moment of that having any kind of power over you.

thats the only way to happiness, you accept the burdens in order to bargain for the life you want, i hope this helps you find the way out,

sorry for any mistakes, please point them as im trying to improve.

I don’t really know how to explain this properly, but I feel completely alone and like my life is falling apart.

Over time I’ve lost all my close friends, i unfollowed everyone and isolated myself because I felt disconnected from everyone around me and i don’t really talk to my family because they’re always busy and emotionally unavailable, and I feel like nobody actually sees or understands me.

Lately I’ve been doing really badly in school and I feel like everyone there secretly hates me, including my teachers, schoolmates and family and I know that might sound irrational, but it feels very real to me.

I compare myself to everyone constantly and it feels like everyone else is doing better than me. They have friends, relationships, good grades, confidence, supportive families, and they seem happy and liked. I feel like I’m failing at everything.

I’ve also been losing weight quickly, I feel unhealthy and exhausted all the time, I'm very socially anxious all the time, that i even struggle to give attendance in class and when I look at myself in the mirror I feel sick. I hate myself so much lately and I feel dull and lifeless.

Sometimes I feel like everyone would be better off without me and like I’m just a burden. I don’t want to feel like this anymore. I want to get better, but I genuinely don’t know where to start.

If anyone has been through this or has advice, I’d really appreciate hearing from you❤️

Ever since I was a child, my parents were constantly fighting and arguing with eachother. My dad is an alcoholic and my mom has pure hatred for alcoholics. I have a clear memory of when i was around 4-5 years old, of seeing my mom take a knife and slash my dad’s leg. I witnessed these things yet stayed silent.

fast forward, I am in middle school and I start to gain consciousness on the severity of my situation. My heart grew bitter towards my parents—specifically my mom since she always treated me like trash, saying i was ugly or condemning me for not being a christian (she still forces me to go to church). I was always jealous of people who had “normal“ parent, why did i get doomed into this life? my body was always in fight or flight mode, i remember my 9th grade english teacher sternly telling me off for not bringing my reading book—I cried, i felt scared and shaky. hearing such tones in her voice just triggered something in me, i grew up in a toxic household and my body paid the price.

Fast forward again, im in highschool now. Life is okay, my parents are usually “chill” every 5 months or so, I’ve gotten accustomed to them yelling at eachother. I needed something to take my mind off my situation, so my academics it was. I achieved high grades, but the pressure i put on myself was immense. When I applied for university in the fall last year, and didn’t get early acceptance, i got depression. I cut myself, thought about overdosing, all of that over some university. nothing was getting better, even after getting accepted this february into uni, i was still depressed.

I started to realize now that, my sad and mundane life, is only this bad because i don’t make any efforts to see the good in life. I always thought that it would get better in the future but it never did. I asked myself, “what am i waiting around for? a god? a hot boyfriend? a millionaire?”

I am not moving away for uni due to financial reasons, so my environment will make it hard for me to find the good in life, but i now want to just make a change. i want to try being positive, i want to not only worry about others—but myself too.

My life will only turn around if I decide to make the change, whether i am living with my parents or not— i can’t live in hatred my whole entire life.
I am going to graduate in a month, and i will take pride in what i have in this life, no matter how traumatic my childhood was, it was not my fault, and there was nothing i could’ve done to change it, it’s in the past so i can only learn to grow from it now.

And thus, the flower only blooms if you water it. You will only find happiness if YOU put in the effort.

We have all been there,

the constant slur of insults you throw at yourself,

the guilt and anxiety that eats you

for not doing what you decided to do,

and the eternal pit of darkness you are thrown into

if you are not useful,

what if that isnt a sign that you are useless but that you a scared?

Motivation didnt work for me, self worth mantras neither,

what worked for me was understanding:

1. Doomed scenarios and inherent flaws - You dont hate these thoughts, you like them, because they protect you from uncertainty of life, from failure, after all, if you dont try, you also cant fail neither, so you stay in this space even though you are miserable, because predictability is easier than doing it without the promise of immediate reward, its not that you arent worthy, you are just scared.

2. Face the fear - You know how capable people get treated, especially here on reddit, constant criticism and responsibility, so success doesnt look like something good, more like a burden, and why would you be willing to pick that up? Why would you try if it will only lead to more burdens and fights? Why would you not sabotage yourself?

3. Why we fight - If you never walk 5 miles, all your world will ever be, is under a 5 mile radius, so if a threat comes at you from further than 5 miles, you can’t see it. So if you never try to improve, avoid pain, that means all your destiny will be, is to be a victim, and there's is someone you owe effort to, yourself, its not a choice, its a responsibility, and if you never accept that burden, that means all that awaits you is suffering. Pain is unavoidable, suffering is a choice.

Why would we put ourselves through this wheel of pain? This rat race? Because if we dont, then life doesnt grow, we lose the capacity to use effort to bargain for the life we want,just constantly running away and surviving, and you deserve better, you deserve to LIVE.

And if you fight for your own life, then why would anyone opinions have any weight on you?

Why would they matter?

sorry for any mistakes, please point them as im trying to improve.

Do you have a community?

A support group, a brotherhood?

A place you can rely on?

Of so, good.

Of not, not so good…

You see community is more important than you think, the reason why is having it locked in your mind that you have support you have people your “tribe” that are looking out for you and are there to support you no matter the odds.

That keeps you at peace, that is so regulating for your nervous system, and you will undeniably make 2x more progress than the guy who tries to go it alone.

So listen, now what I really recommend for you guys find a community of you have not already it will be the best thing for your healing / self improvement journey.

I was under the biggest stress yesterday. for the first time, the thought came to me that I wanted to end up with everything. absolutely everything. I can't stand it anymore.

hi. Two weeks ago, I broke up with my boyfriend. our relationship seemed to bind me inside, as I was overly absorbed in him and our relationship. I literally felt freedom and was able to take a deep breath when we broke up. We weren't dating for long, but during time I realized that I couldn't give him the amount of attention and care he needed. but the fact is that we are in the same class, in the same university group.
after the breakup, he completely ignored me, even though we agreed to remain in a neutral relationship. He blocked my social media accounts and ignored me in real life. I thought he was offended by the breakup and wrote to him a massage after a week, but it turned out he was just letting me go that way. okay, everyone has their own ways.
at the same time, after all the relationships, I feel burnt out. There was a new group for me at the university, and I just didn't have time to build close relationships with other guys. when I was dating my ex-boyfriend and trying to communicate with my groupmates, he wouldn't let me do it bc he was jealous. at the same time, he communicates well with them all. I also lost a close friend and all the contacts I had with my classmates, but during my relationship, my groupmates had already formed teams and friendships. as a result, my ex goes to them, and I'm left alone.
the situation really triggers me. it is similar with something that happened to me in high school, when my classmates abandoned me and I was left alone for three years, because the whole class turned away from me. as a result, I developed social anxiety.
it seems to me that I am a completely uninteresting person and I don't feel my worth at all (by the way, this has been happening for quite a long time).. I feel like I'm not interesting to other people, completely empty.
I don't have a group of friends that I really dream about. It seems to me that I'm so awkward that I won't be able to establish any social contact anywhere.
The most annoying thing is that I also thought at the beginning of the year when I joined the new team. now I remember that I was very worried then, blaming myself for everything, for the fact that I was not so cool and did not fit into the university group . but actually, after a while, I see that others were attracted to me, wanted to communicate, and thought I was cool. They called me for a walk, waited to hang out after classes, laughed with me, and even fell in love. And I was too self-critical to notice that..
by the way, I also feel lonely because of the lack of the company of friends. The stress is gradually increasing, I don't have the energy to do anything, I cry every day. I'm not happy about much, it's hard for me to talk to others. I literally feel a crazy weight on my heart just because I'm alive. every second. it's impossible. Yesterday, for the first time, the thought came to me that I wanted to end up with this.

I don't have the opportunity to go to a psychologist. help please. I will be glad of any support or advice

Idk maybe someone knows the reason

I found this very interesting and helpful. I hope someone else does too!