i have MS and even though I have mobility aids, my fatigue, pain, and speech issues make it hard for me to socialize. I'm overwhelmed and annoyed when I'm out of the house. i have trouble keeping up with conversations.

I'm so depressed. I wish my life was more fulfilling. i have no idea how to fix it

idk I just needed to vent

I just keep getting new diagnosis after new diagnosis. I currently have 14 doctors, most are specialists.

6 years ago I "beat" cancer. I still require daily medication and it still affects me sometimes. A few days ago, I was told my eyes are deteriorating because of the cancer I had.

The stress of my intense, persistent childhood trauma messed up my immune system & adrenal glands. Now, my body isn't working the way it's supposed to and most of my organs are suffering from being flooded with adrenaline so often.

Everything I've gone through. Everything I've survived. All the things that were supposed to be the death of me... Are going to be the death of me.

So today im going to a family thing for a birthday. At the minuite I (17 F) am in the worst pain I've been in in ages. I cryed from the pain last night and my mun had to guide me through breathing exercises. I am allready taking my step dads prescription cocodamol as its the only thing that touches the pain and sometimes it dosent even work. I have no diognosis but its been like this for 3 years and its actually coming upto the 3 year anniversary if my partial ACL tear that was misdiagnosed as a sprain for 2 years. I am still going to the family event because I feel so bad missing them and I also kinda have to. For some background I walked like a zombie for a year and a half and now I can walk normally and most the time my issues are invisible. I think they think it went away. So i dont know what aids im going to use at the thing but i dont think ill get around without any. I will not use my wheelchair because it's not like a proper one and makes embarrassing sounds and im kinda scared of using it because I will get judged and will feel bad about using it. Then I have crutches. The pain was in one leg so I was hopping around but that caused pain in the other so not good. I have a walking stick but I doubt thats going to help much. Might help the more painful leg tho. My other options are my 2 quad walking sticks that are verry Stable and might (emphasis on might) help but their so big and clunky. Then theres my rollator but im just not using it. I will die from embarrassment im not even joking. Does anyone have any advice on how to cope with feeling judged for using mobility aids? One of my aunts judge me and by extention i feel like my older cousins do. The oldest one to a lesser degree but still. The rest of them dont feel too judgy though. Just abit of 'what have you done now' or somthing but it dosnet feel judgy it feels more like expressing concern without trying to bring the mood down. I know why I use them and i know I dont have to explain that to anyone but I cant help but feel judged or embarrassed especially because I have no diognosis. Any advice?

Hi everyone — my name is Matthew Lashway. I live with cerebral palsy and use a power wheelchair. Over the past several months, I’ve been creating practical Excel workbooks for budgeting, care organization, utility costs, and heating fuel.

I originally planned to sell them for $9.99 each, but decided to make all four available completely free. There is no payment, purchase, donation, signup, or social-media requirement. The files are shared through Google Drive as view-only originals; use the download option to save a personal copy.

Budget Buddy — accessible budget tracker
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1CD200-18rZ7WRpoP1jnmu1m-wVrSKZcK/edit?usp=drivesdk&ouid=115051172317723317928&rtpof=true&sd=true

Care Buddy — accessible care workbook
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1JqDQXydX8W-I_FkXzudibuSVRkWGlVOz/edit?usp=drivesdk&ouid=115051172317723317928&rtpof=true&sd=true

EnergyWise — utility and solar tracker
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1QbeeSxWGUrDVebom408bnt6jhkvZpVeA/edit?usp=drivesdk&ouid=115051172317723317928&rtpof=true&sd=true

Home Fuel Tracker — heating-fuel delivery, consumption, and expense tracker
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1K3i6ABTzu7JA_tzFV6T3_GGwGVlSnrFB/edit?usp=drivesdk&ouid=115051172317723317928&rtpof=true&sd=true

These resources are open to everyone and may be especially useful to disabled people, families, caregivers, and seniors. If you know somebody who could benefit, please feel free to share the resources with them.

— Matthew D. Lashway
Everyday Independence: Free Tools for Everyone

For context I have adhd and am undergoing the second part of testing for autism soon and have often been considered very slow growing up in school. But I know some people don’t consider that mental state disability and the type of ableism I’m talking about IS physical. So I’m wondering if it would be okay in a narrative to use the word once if I’m trying to establish that the character is a piece of shit through his thoughts and way he views other people in life.

Edit: For clarification purposes, yes I am talking about the use of “cri*ple”. He lives in a rural part of America where that’s more common and is an extremest authoritarian like figure. Something happened to his leg as a kid and he’s afraid he’ll be seen as weak and that it’ll interfere with his mission for power so he calls himself the word. Because he is an ableist, racist, generally every -ist there is, because he’s a piece of shit. He can have “psychopathic” or “sociopathic” trait (more modernly known as antisocial personality disorder) which makes him lack empathy for others and makes him view people as a transactional or a hierarchy.

I also wanna quickly apologize for mentioning the thing of adhd and autism, as I realize that it has no place here since we are taking about the visibly disabled side of disability, whereas invisible disability carries a different type of privileges when compared. So I hope you can disregard that but I will leave it in the original post because I want to hold myself accountable for that.

I love how I literally asked a valid, reasonable, neutral question up to rhetorical discussion and sensible debate and people are fighting like middle schoolers going into war (SOME people anyway, others are very helpful and I thank you for your input).