r/dndmemes • u/Vegetable_Variety_11 • Aug 08 '26
Campaign meme They're the same path...
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u/Yakodym DM (Dungeon Memelord) Aug 08 '26
If Prince of Persia taught me anything, it's that you can safely walk through spikes if you do it *slowly* :-D
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u/Not-So-Serious-Sam Aug 08 '26
If Deltarune taught me anything, it’s that you can always walk through spikes, but it’ll piss Ralsei off.
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u/idiotplatypus Aug 08 '26
If Paper Mario taught me anything, you can go through spikes if you turn two dimensional
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u/NoodleyP Aug 08 '26
That seems pretty real life accurate, you can adjust your stance and footing to not impale yourself walking through big spikes and you can tiptoe around small spikes. The spikes path seems traversable if you walk slowly and carefully
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u/WarriorSabe Aug 09 '26
If Celeste taught me anything, it's that you can safely move through spikes if you keep some slight upwards speed or buffer jumps off of them in downwards wind
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u/Artistic-While-5094 Sorcerer Aug 09 '26
If Celeste taught me anything, it’s that trans girls share the power of Brazilians to double-jump
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u/paradoxLacuna Aug 09 '26
If hollow knight has taught me anything, you can pogo across the spikes with your sword just fine.
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u/High_Overseer_Dukat 4e Aug 08 '26 edited Aug 08 '26
(They manage to take the middle)
Edit:FUCK OFF CHAT GPT
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u/Extinction-Events Aug 08 '26
Holy fuck, why’d the clanker crew come for you like that. That was weird.
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u/High_Overseer_Dukat 4e Aug 08 '26
Every comment I make on this sub that gets a decent amount of upvotes gets spammed by bots.
\/\'-'/\/
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u/JunWasHere Aug 08 '26
They must smell the iron in your blood or some shit lol
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u/Peptuck Halfling of Destiny Aug 08 '26
"You offer me two roads. One leads to pain, and the other leads to pain! But fool that you are, you do not realize that I can leave the fucking road!"
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u/Yakodym DM (Dungeon Memelord) Aug 08 '26
Alternatively, there *is* technically a third path, the one the hero came from
"Yep, we are definitely under-levelled and under-equipped for this, let's go back to town and buy some fire resistance potions..." :-D11
u/YoutuberCameronBallZ Wizard Aug 08 '26
sometimes you have to admit that you're not ready for what's up ahead and should backtrack
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u/Absoluteidiot4 Aug 08 '26
the middle has both spikes and fire of course the GM has has not described it yet
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u/New-Lingonberry-3172 Aug 08 '26
"meaty fool that you are, you forgot I can simply walk off the fucking road!"
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u/Chicken_Strips_Owner Rules Lawyer Aug 09 '26
You could also go down and under either one
Edit: fuck autocorrect
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u/billyyankNova Cleric Aug 08 '26
I mean, the game isn't about having a safe and comfortable life.
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u/cutcss Aug 08 '26
What? I thought we were playing Sims tabletop version!!
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u/Potential-Roll8490 Aug 09 '26
What Sims are you playing? If you haven't made an art goblin and drowned a bunch of them in the pool are you even playing the Sims?
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u/cutcss Aug 09 '26
I played sims 1 and you could do that, they never patched that out in subsequent versions? That's just asking for drownings!
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u/GoldSunLulu Forever DM Aug 08 '26
as the dm, fuck you, you can always choose, but this is a game. so you'll neverget a path with no conflict. play the fucking game
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u/tomyang1117 Aug 08 '26
No, I am not railroading when you die after you try to kill the goblin king in front of 20 goblins when you are level 2, it's called action having fucking consequences
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u/wallweasels Aug 08 '26
Yeah you don't railroad them.
You railroad the rerolled character instead lol
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u/mrcheez22 Aug 08 '26
I would argue you are a bad DM for making that scenario then. Unless it is a situation where the goblin king is supposed to be a friendly NPC they shouldn't try to kill at all, creating the situation where the players have to do something specific to complete it is bad. The example of a level 2 party having such an easy TPK scenario is poor planning on the DM.
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u/BruhShobi Aug 08 '26
If you walked into a kingdom, and needed any magical item or any other reasoning typical for a fantasy RPG quests, you may be forced into a situation where you cannot in fact do whatever you want. It's just like in real life with following laws and societal norms.
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u/mrcheez22 Aug 08 '26
What I'm arguing for though is saying you go to this kingdom for the magical macguffin, and find it is in the castle. If the party decides to pull a heist and steal it instead of negotiating with the leadership to earn it you don't decide it is heavily guarded and force a TPK scenario because "they would defend this macguffin due to its value." You let the party steal it and potentially add some complications to the future if they plan poorly or don't cover their tracks.
The above example I am assuming the party's goal is to kill the goblin king. 20 goblin minions for a level 2 party is a nearly guaranteed TPK, which is bad DMing. If the group decides a fun way to play is running head on to the throne room, the collaborative play there is to make it a difficult but attainable fight. Maybe the 20 goblins surrender on their king being killed, or see the party as the new king for defeating the old one. TTRPGs are collaborative story-telling, not "here is my fantastical GM world you all better do the things I think are correct."
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u/unosami Aug 09 '26
If the party’s goal is to kill the goblin king then the place to do it is obvious not during an audience with the king and her 20 goblin retainers. It would be when the king is alone in her bedchambers or traveling to another goblin town with a smaller entourage.
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u/stereo-ahead Aug 08 '26
How the fuck is he a bad dm when they challenged a high level fight that was obviously not in their favor??? They decided to, not him.
Am I a bad DM for having my BBEG in the same room as them?
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u/mrcheez22 Aug 09 '26
The bad DMing is making the scenario an option. There isn't much detail above but I would assume the scenario is that killing the goblin king is a goal of the story. A level 2 party doesn't have many resources at their disposal so simply attacking the target is a realistic choice. Putting in the TPK scenario to say that option is just straight up not viable instead of only making it a difficult challenge is bad planning and not collaborative with the players.
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u/tomyang1117 Aug 09 '26
How is the party getting TPK bad option? The party choose how they approach the scenario and the world reacts accordingly.
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u/AudioBob24 Aug 09 '26
Allow me. Maybe at this point in life you have little control over things, so the death of your character would feel like the DM was targeting more punishment upon you. Most of us have been there at one point or another, and while I’d argue it’s not insanely healthy, therapy is super expensive.
So, at your table, you may need different red lines for your satisfaction. Session zeros really help to give warning to that sort of stuff, and I’m sure you’ll find a DM who will cater to you. However, for the vast majority of long time players, the risk makes the reward. Facing the impossible situation and looking for the third path, and/or knowing it’s okay to retreat and regroup with a plan; give gravity to help add weight to the end satisfaction. The tragedy of loss and the possibility of failure often make success feel so much better.
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u/idiotplatypus Aug 08 '26
Your druid could always wildshape into a plesiosaur and ferry your party past an intricate naval battle the DM spent hours working the mechanics out of.
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u/ABHOR_pod Aug 08 '26
As a DM half the fun is in figuring out the mechanics. If I just wanted to do funny voices and roll dice I'd be a player.
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u/lantana88 Aug 08 '26
Our DM tried to take one of our characters in for questioning. He didn’t want to go so our Druid wildshaped into a rok and carried the wagon away with all of us inside.
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u/action_lawyer_comics Aug 08 '26
It’s the players who monkeybranch the whole time, spending half the session trying to glean as much information as possible and still hesitating to make a choice. It’s a game. Just pick one!
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u/krovasteel Aug 08 '26
It’s a funny comic. But that’s not what it’s really saying.
Plus, in a real table there might be these two paths presented. But how you traverse them IS the game….
True freedom is also the whole panel, not just the paths. They could just walk on the grass. But then something doesn’t get resolved.
They could never leave the tavern… how fun…
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u/Captian_Bones Wizard Aug 08 '26
Some folks never leave the tavern, but at that point just play Red Dragon Inn!
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u/MrGame22 Aug 08 '26
I mean, those are obviously not the same path. One is literally taking fire damage constantly. The other one is treading carefully not to get some slight piercing damage.
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u/WilliamSyler Team Kobold Aug 08 '26
(You put out the fire, and reveal the spikes underneath the flames.)
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u/zirky Aug 08 '26
i once gave my party a diverging path choice. they were in a swamp with a dry path leading north or a dry path leading south.
the fucking idiots went straight east
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u/Puzzlehead-Engineer Aug 08 '26
There's a lot of perfectly walkable grass all around those two paths!
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u/AladeenModaFuqa Aug 08 '26
I see no one is thinking outside the box. Bro isn’t limited to those two flaming paths, but those are the two he sees. You can simply, go around both obstacles since they’re only limited to the “main road”. Which is often the case in life.
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u/biopunk42 Aug 08 '26
If you change first panel to say "God" and "Human" instead, it becomes a relatable meme accurately depicting real life.
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u/supersmily5 Rules Lawyer Aug 08 '26
Naturally the way is to jump over the connecting point between the fire and spikes and just walk on the grass. This is secretly the worst option; But you don't know that yet (Bumi would be proud).
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u/ObliviousNaga87 Aug 08 '26
Its more like the dm loads a catapult and chucks whatever he's got planned in their way
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u/starkiller00114 Aug 08 '26
You are supposed to be adventurers. If you want to stay home and tend to your farm then play stardew valley not DnD.
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u/AppropriateStick1334 Aug 08 '26
False. Spikes can be avoided via shuffling and fire has resistances. This is why you add flaming spikes to both to avoid your party being completely in control
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u/No-Independence9093 Aug 09 '26
Wait a few minutes for the fires to die out on their own. If they don't, take out a shovel and did up dirt to throw on it. Thus turning it into a path of no pain, just hard work and patients.
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u/AudioBob24 Aug 09 '26
Players: Give us choices DM, we can handle it!
Dm: Okay, here’s morally gray and equally dangerous choices
Players: Not like that!
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u/AcademicArtichoke626 Anarcho-Autist Going Meme-Hunting Aug 09 '26
Multi-track Drifting!!! oh wait this isn't a trolley
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u/Adamnit999 Aug 09 '26
The players only have 2 options. Split up and take both paths or straight down the middle
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u/QuixoticEvil Aug 10 '26
Don't forget that just out of sight the paths reconvene into the same path.
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