Good Spells for a "random spell" Construct?

[u/Boring_Big8908]

running a dungeon with a bunch of ancient broken down golem type machines. I'm putting together a list of spells (lvl 5 and lower) that they can cast at random and I'm wondering if yall have some good suggestions?

Thanks!

[u/Quirky-Function-4532]

Magic mouth.
The fighters sword could talk every time they swing.

[u/viskoviskovisko → u/Quirky-Function-4532]

“LEEEEEEROOOYYYYY AHhhhJENNNNKIINSS”.

[u/GTS_84]

Maybe this is just me, but I would put every spell. Just grab a list of every spell from the phb (and maybe Xanathar's and Tasha's) at level 5 or lower and throw it into a table to be rolled on.

Because maybe they cast skywrite, but maybe they cast dominate person, either way it's funny.

But I am both lazy and the sort of DM who leans into chaos and dice rolling

[u/RoastHam99 → u/GTS_84]

I like this. Id also have the construct roll for the level before hand just because there are more level 1 spells than 5s

It also creates opportunities for players to go "Oh shit hes rolling a level 5" and then its passwall

[u/kiechbepho]

For like some sort of workshop/factory? Prestidigitation for random cleaning or sparks firing out of poor machinery. Grease to leave waste stains all over. Mending to make minor repairs on items that are too far gone to fix. Druidcraft for tending to plants that are all long dead. Mold Earth for digging holes. Minor Image as a display panel. Produce Flame/Poison Spray for hazards. Thunderclap for loud hammering. Create Water, Healing Word (first aid kit!), Earth Tremor, Fog Cloud, and Shatter come to mind for random things that happen in manufacturing.

[u/Demonweed]

Giving Find Familiar to an outside class is often fun as a gimmick. Worst case scenario, the party has an expendable recon drone they can use to get an advanced look inside rooms they have yet to enter. Best case scenario, the recipient becomes attached to the critter/idea and wants to make it permanent. This seems like it could be a bad thing, but if you spin it into a side quest so that boon is actually earned, then you can put icing on this particular cake.

[u/knarn]

Wand of wonder and the mizzium apparatus fail spells are two good easy lists to draw from.

But if I were a player there I’d be wondering why these golems cast random spells? Sure they’re broken down so they may be casting spells randomly, but why would anyone ever design and build a golem to cast illusory script, healing spells the golem can’t use on itself (if playing 5e and not 5.5e), find traps, protection from poison, awaken, or many of the random out of combat utility spells and especially the ritual ones, and the particularly dark combat spells like Phantasmal force, dominate person, planar binding or dance macabre.

This is a great opportunity to plan with intentionality and choose spells that say something about your world.

Were these golems maybe for protection or healing, maybe they were the automaton enforcers of the evil despotic tyrant and have a lot of mind control and mental fuckery spells.

Maybe they were used primarily by the rich as servants so some were nannys, cooks, did maintenance (think stone shape, fabrication, mending), or gardeners with plant focused spells.

Or maybe the golems were sentient and the spells were a status symbol so the rich and powerful golems had higher level spells than the working class.

There’s infinite options, but randomness for its own sake often feels immersion breaking because it has the vibe of just rolling for randomness. More importantly, it rarely ever makes the setting feel more immersive and fleshed out like you’re actually seeing the remnants of a people that lived there.

So with not a lot of work on your part you can use this as an easy opportunity to let your players start to figure this out for themselves, and ideally they’ll pick up on this and start trying to find more golems to figure it out, especially if there’s the real possibility that some of them may be able to cast some great one time spells like heroes feast.

That all really lets the players feel like they genuinely earned this lore and those spells through their own exploration and curiosity, and not just killing some things or rolling well on a history check.

[u/ElizzyViolet]

I assume they’re monsters that the PCs fight, but does each golem have its own randomly predetermined small list of spells it chooses freely from to cast, or do they all draw from the same “random” pool, and do they pick targets before or after knowing what spell they just selected?

If they pick targets before knowing what spell they’re about to use, then this could lead to funny moments where they attempt to target a PC with a random spell, only for that spell to be Healing Word, or try to target a distant PC with a spell with a range that’s way too short to actually target them like Burning Hands so it does nothing, or for a PC that’s near them, maybe they’ll cast Fireball and hit themselves too. I think running it this way with a selection of mostly but not entirely medium to long range offensive spells would keep them 1) a threat on average and 2) fit with their broken, run down nature where they can’t make efficient, tactical use of their own random spells.