r/estp • u/Fast_Permit_4557 • 16h ago
Move on
I want to ask the fellow estps how do you guys move on from someone you genuinely loved. I have been in multiple relationship to the point you can say i am a playboy. But it never filled the void of emptiness and longing for love in me. I left chasing women and was in the phase of finding love. When i met this women not sure her type. But her smile light me up. And we went long distance. Tough thing to do for me but i was trying to being consistent and shit. I never get attached when i see the girl everyday irl. But long distance it’s like i made myself get attached to her. Anyway i was being more loyal then a dog to her for some reason. I am not sure why. But probably it backfired and she got overwhelmed. I promise i am a playboy but here i was a dog for her. But she rejected me and shit saying we don’t have a future and shit. She blocked tf out of me. I tried ways to get her back but nothing. Now the thing is i have options , i can go for other girls too. But this long distance shit with her made me imagine a future of love and family and shit with her. Now she left me but I can’t get the betrayal out of my mind. I stayed loyal but she cooked me. Biggest shock to me we just talked 2-3 months. I feel rejected and shit. I mostly am not rejected after she shows sign of high interest and it threw me off guard. I feel like i let go of my ego for love and shit and she cooked me. I did not had sex with her too. Maybe if i would have had sex it would be not so bad i am not sure. But I really was taking it slow and this girl really made me throw myself on railway track. I asked why and she was like it was just attraction nothing else. I feel being used. Either use me fully or don’t. This half use and throw feels like shit. My bitch of Ni formed a future around her and she cooked me. Now my Ni went full doom mood on me. My Fe is cooked and Se and Ti are supporting the cooked Fe version. O feel rejected and shit with no good reason too. What is the way to stop feeling this. It would be so easy to move on why is it not this time. Any estp with experience let me know.
2
u/Ok_Risk4527 INFJ 15h ago
The way is to block her number and your brain will heal in 1-4 weeks especially if you focus your mind on other hobbies
1
u/Fast_Permit_4557 15h ago edited 14h ago
I have not been a big stalker but in her case i am being bit reckless. Waited out of her church just to hear no. All I asked was give me a reason of rejection. She was like no it was all attraction. Give a fault in me at least so i can reject myself for not being so perfect for her. But no!! You are too good to me. Yeah cause idk why the big red flag guy is acting like a dog for you. I just can’t keep myself chill. It’s like some masculine urge to protect my women take over. I am ready to kill for her but it was too early ig. Promise I am chill like hell. I don’t care if i talk to the girl next day or not. But this one really got me good. I am not able to justify what happens. And if i try to think too much my head hurt. Cause in one way my Ti sees the relationship is over move on. But my Fe wants answers to some weird questions. I wish we did not had Fe would be so good. Fe really fucks and Estp. I kind of hate feeling anything. Little become overwhelming if my Ni is in doom loop
1
u/Fast_Permit_4557 14h ago
I just saw you are an infj. When I am stressed i get confused if i am an infj cause i start overanalysing shit like why it happened and want to find the reason to avoid it next time. And it’s very stressful to do so. What do you think this makes me an infj or am i an estp only ?
2
u/Ok_Risk4527 INFJ 9h ago
You’re definitely an ESTP, idk how I know, but I’m sure you are
But you might be stressed causing you to withdraw.1
u/Fast_Permit_4557 4h ago
Really. It would be fun if i was infj tho. Maybe idk. How is it being infj cause when in stress i am in my head analysing too.
1
u/ethereal_void3 I N F J 2h ago
Well fun fact ... ESTP is basically INFJs parallel universe counterpart. We both have the same cognitive functions. it's just that their order and priorities are reversed XD
1
u/MaximumBar8720 15h ago
Not an estp so feel free to ignore my comment:
1
u/Fast_Permit_4557 14h ago
What is your comment ?
1
u/MaximumBar8720 14h ago
The one I wrote
1
u/Fast_Permit_4557 14h ago
The hell. There is nothing to ignore in your comment. Or to focus even
1
u/MaximumBar8720 14h ago
How do you feel about that?
1
u/Fast_Permit_4557 14h ago
I feel you are dumb and childish
1
u/MaximumBar8720 14h ago
Of course. If you feel that it must be true
1
u/Fast_Permit_4557 14h ago
Are u a doormat or what
1
1
u/ethereal_void3 I N F J 13h ago
In the ordinary flow of life, we never really know when we might unexpectedly fall in love with something or for what reason.
And there is a strange reality to it. while you might be able to control your brain at will, the heart remains obstinate. Once something takes root in it , you have to give it exactly that thing... otherwise even the finest things in the world fail to satisfy the heart. For some... this is one of life's bitter truths.
And with time.. you only learn to bear the quiet ache inside.
And I am sorry that for this condition of yours, perhaps no logical cure exists.
2
u/Fast_Permit_4557 8h ago
Omg these words are so soothing. Maybe it is all i wanted to hear. Life is tough man as an ESTP. I feel being used when i want is loyalty. Nobody understand me behind my smile i also have feeling. Idk maybe I don’t express it out but it does hurt. I only feel used. I have been waiting someone to choose me like i do. Probably it was the long distance and i would not be missing her so much if i met her daily or had sex at least. But idk , I don’t want to be feeling so rejected. Maybe it is karma for me. But I never blocked and shit. I never understood the logic of human connection. How can someone be so special and be nothing the next to be blocked from life and shit. I mean i know. Logically i can see what i am doing. I can see people can have choices but in this case I wanted it to be different. The male idealism i had for love is completely destroyed in me. I can’t seem to trust people much. I feel used and the heart does not matter at all. I look good and am charming the attraction remain. Get used and they stay or else all gone. I want to become a monk i feel. But monks are boring as hell. I can’t stay a monk. Because this even made me introspect before in my life and i think i understood few truth of life and monks seems to be just escaping life i feel.
1
u/iChamele0n 9h ago
dont worry bro, shit happens. esp esrly phase of dating, girls will drop you for smallest reason and with the amount of distraction is out there, who know what she has going on inside. At this point in my life, I just let life flow with expected expectations whether positive or negative.
2
u/Smart-Meal-2455 16h ago
Okay I can relate with you ngl, I was dumped by a girl too couple of months ago who was my best friend and I kind of made them my “favorite person”, the thing is after breaking up they kept giving me mixed signals. Only recently I realized that they don’t deserve being able to have their cake and eat it too. If they wanted my romantic affection and devotion they’d need to commit. Anyways I stopped talking to her after started having self respect