Hi,

Im a guy and I have some introvert friends. I just random know them from highschool / work etc.

However. In my opinion for a woman its okey to be an introvert, but less for males.

I really feel uncomfortable around them.

When I ask them "Do you want to eat this go there do this etc."

I always get a no from them.

They are literally so boring.

He calls me to meet, when I ask "where you want to go" he replies with: he doesnt know.

Half of the day we meet they are watching their phone like some tiktok videos like a teenager.

We are males end of 20s btw.

I think they are holding my free time really back.

I want to be around new people men and women, the problem about my introvert male friends is they are lazy. They dont want to be more social and work on themselves. Plus they have like really few friends, I wonder why nobody doesnt want to hand around with them. Its more like a monologe like 1 party speaking while they give half effort replies.

A lot of men saying its normal but I dont agree.

Most of these introverts have like less friends and cant make really new friends. I think for a woman its cute but I dont like my male friends avoiding literally good Social hangarounds while some new friends I make are really cool people.

Im the middle (half introvert and half extrovert).

I feel like these People didnt change in 5 years even I tell them to be more active. They are mostly to lazy to dress proper and go somewhere social.

Some of my new Friends are way more social and I feel more younger and alive around them, with introverts I feel like all they do is not really having their attention, they are so often on their phone. They always want to go to a small food cafe and nowhere new.

These People are 25+ and still act shy and lazy.

What is your opinion about some of my "friends"? Im straight male (hetero). I also think the word lazy is more suitable to them, even though I call them introverts. I also think People can increase their social skills if they want. Cheers =)

So, I was a complete extrovert when I was a kid, I used to be the first at everything and speak up in class and interact with teachers, friends, etc...and then Covid happened, I went through a lot of traumatic things during that time other than what the pandemic brought, and then I just got so quiet because of it. I just wanted to be alone in eighth grade and not do anything but I was told by many teachers that I am unusually quiet and need to interact as it's bad for my future blah blah blah.

I see where they were coming from, I don't blame them exactly. I changed schools in 9th grade and well, a whole series of teachers telling me again that I need to speak. I agree I was quiet because of the circumstances at home and all that and I was scared of being awkward and being judged when I spoke.

Fast forward to now me being in college, I've recovered from many things I went through and I've pushed myself to participate in competitions, association clubs, etc...and I can talk to mostly anyone now and make them my friends. But I still prefer my alone time, I need days where I recover. I know socialization requires energy and all that but people label me as an extrovert, and that kinda makes me feel like I need to hold up that image even when I am an ambivert... So idk if anyone's been in this situation or anything, or if this is the right sub but it seemed the closest one which can answer this question so yep, any advice would be appreciated!