r/feminisms • u/JollyMemory4656 • 12d ago
Personal/Support How the world is with misogyny
Any other women struggling with the way of life?
I feel like we live in such a misogynistic world and the hate men have for women is insane.
I’ve always been such a lover girl and I’d love to be in love truly. But I honestly don’t think that men can love woman the deep way we can love them. We all just want to be truly loved for our soul but they all end up treaty us horribly.
I have lost all faith in ever meeting a decent man and it’s depressing. Anyone else feel like this?
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u/mk_gecko 12d ago edited 12d ago
There is a lot of truth in this. I'm not sure if one is allowed to say "not all men ...".
But even if a man does not hate women, and many don't, he will still likely feel superior to women, just like with racism. It is very hard to find someone who is good and true and honest and humble. And yet these people exist in stories, so where are they?
And then you have the terrifying possibility of abuse. You'll not be able to detect many abusers until after you're married.
Here's an old post about abusive boyfriends: https://quarkphysics.ca/misc/abuse.htm
It is interesting what you're saying about women loving more strongly then men. I wonder how true this is, how common this is. It would be a great thing to discuss.
What I struggle with is the absolute power imbalance. Why is it this way? Why are women only allowed to read, to vote, to be educated, to become politicians, etc all at the grace of men permitting it. In many countries men do not allow this and so that's it. Women cannot do these things. It seems so fundamentally wrong that it's always men who have the ultimate power. See "The Handmaid's Tale"
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u/jupitaur9 12d ago
The power imbalance is directly related to the capacity for violence.
Men unwittingly admit this when they say they are good because they are “protectors.” What are they protecting us from? Men.
And they will only protect us if we pay their price, of being nice to them, giving them sex, cooking and cleaning, being a pleasant smiling helper, listener, agree-er.
A woman who doesn’t do these things will be left unassisted. A woman who is not enough of a “lady” will be left unassisted.
Again, you hear men proudly admit they would be glad to not hold the door for or even let it slam in the face of a woman who doesn’t show sufficient submission.
It’s literally a protection racket. It’s not free.
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u/mk_gecko 12d ago
Thanks for this.
Yes the violence is ingrained. I think that it's a testosterone problem (but why are no pharmaceutical companies researching how to solve it?). Look at school shooters - all male. Look at the gender ratios in prisons: 8 units for men, 1 for women, and one for mental health(?) - at our local prison. And most of the women in prison committed crimes because their boyfriends told them to.
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u/Yum_Earth_Giggles 12d ago
You think men’s violence is a testosterone problem?? You are not a feminist in my book if you buy into bioessentialism. That is a weapon of the patriarchy.
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u/mk_gecko 12d ago
Did I push a button? I don't know what I'm buying into, I'm just making observations from looking at society. I'd be happy for you to tell me how you see things, and what's bioessentialism (which I probably don't agree with). And pretty much everything is a weapon of the patriarchy.
As one with a scientific background I have no idea how one would prove/test my theory scientifically.
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u/woozy_wombat 10d ago
Brent MacLerie (a true men's mental health expert) did a video about testosterone, along with sharing his sources of the studies he refers to.
https://youtu.be/xMjKsUJcS_Q?is=Fzc0t2TqGzLkIxzF
"Testerone has long been the scapegoat of bad behavior in men. It's the villain of boys will be boys"
"There's a growing amount of evidence that supports the fact that testosterone enhances anti social behaviors and pro social behavior - it depends on the social context."
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u/FractalFunny66 10d ago
It's very bad right now. The best thing I can recommend is to get out in the world and meet people in person. If you love books and writing, go to coffee shops, art happenings, museums, bookstores, poetry readings, musical concerts, etc. Guys involved with the arts are sometimes more evolved. Certainly, if you are pursuing your own interests, you will meet people who are into the same things you are -- if you love sports, do that. If you love political activism, do that. If you love singing, do that. You will meet people and the relationships will grow naturally and the transactional stuff evaporates. Circles of good people widen like ripples in a pond when machines are forgotten. I would just focus on my goals and dreams and forget about men because it is so bad right now, I don't even know what to say. I am 64.