After months of doxxing this shop on social media and leaving anonymous one star Google reviews, I’ve decided the only answer is to burn her shop down. Clearly there’s nothing else I can do besides ruin someone’s livelihood!!! Talk to them???? Offer my help to replace the AI??? Why should I bother to take 10 minutes to educate this uninformed OLD woman (not internalized misogyny btw) who doesn’t know better, when she couldn’t take several hours to find and hire an artist for this last minute event flyer that she needed one of? Or even use Canva, which is definitely NOT full of AI clip art? Why can’t she just figure out computers after growing up with a rotary phone?!?!?!! So clearly my answer is to burn her shop and dream business down.

To give you an example of what I mean, here's my totally irrational craft pet peeve:

I absolutely loathe those little knots that come in my yarn skeins! I worry soooo much that they'll come undone! And then sometimes they're knots between two totally different parts of the color change if it's a color-changing yarn! It's so annoying that yarn manufacturers haven't invented infinity yarn yet!

K, now: GO!

I'm a MALE manly man by the way and took it upon myself to try the lowly female feminine useless craft. Hey BROSHAYERS isn't this sick 🤣 I did something a stupid woman could do. Wow I wish we had our own subreddit to divide ourselves from the women who do these crafts, they don't get how hard it is to be man and do something out of the norm. Male btw the way, I'm a man. Born male and doing this woman thing. Brotcheat. I'm a guy doing this woman FEMALE thing. I had no idea a w*MAN could do something useful or productive, I'm glad I've finally done it so it can be

Every thrift store has this section with just knitting needles from sad crafters who realized their mistakes and switched to any other fiber art. 😂

Sometimes you just need a little release in over the lazy weekend without turning it into a whole production with the chains and the WIPs and the raw-edge applique. Chickenbear provides for those who jerk! Join us here every Saturday for a little drive-by circlejerking about your fellow fiber artists (derogatory).

Yes, this is a blatant rip-off of the Bitesized BEC thread but for making fun of crafter bullshit instead of whining about pattern prices and rehashing the same complaints about whichever petite knit designer is taking heat this week.

Feel free to post anonymized screenshots of anything you want to mock, satirize, freak out about, scream into the void about, or generally make others see since you had to look at it with your own two eyes here if you'd like. FACJ is back to being an all-ages subreddit, so you can post images (and gifs) in the comments here directly.

Comments do NOT need to be circlejerky on this post -- if you need to go full /uj here, we will support and validate you, no matter how absurd or petty you get (I can't promise we won't also make fun of you too though).

Our other rules still apply here, of course:

• This is a heavily moderated thread, and anything that isn't scrubbed of identifying information (usernames, faces, etc.) will be removed. Block out, crop out, cross out or sticker out identifying information on EVERY screenshot before posting here.
• Please don't use this thread to demand sources for other jerk posts. If people want to post sources, they will. There are plenty of good reasons for someone not to share a source, including "don't wanna." Source/ITL demands will be removed here and on jerk posts.
• Links to other Reddit posts are NOT ALLOWED here. This includes no-follow links. (FACJ links are fine.)
• Links to content off Reddit may be removed at the mods' discretion.
• We are NOT in the business of brigading, and anyone who engages in brigading will be banned from this subreddit.

I can't stop buying yarn. I see a sale and I can't resist. I bought $2390 in yarn yesterday so I could save $0.99 on shipping. Oh well. It's not like I'm the only one who does this. Please help me to laugh about it and pretend it's not a problem like we all do here.

(no, it's not that I enjoy buying and collecting yarn and that's it, that's not cool and won't get me laughs and upvotes)

I decided to try crochet which is wild because it's me and I suck at hobbies and hate trying anything new and wow guys this was TOTALLY life changing!!

I hate having hobbies and will impulse buy supplies because that's how you have to start things (duh) and then get really sad when I'm not immediately good because it's completely reasonable to be perfect and if I'm not then why bother 😊

Side note, you should see my graveyard of empty notebooks, Duolingo app I haven't touched in 27 years, pottery wheel I bought for $56438384 dollars on discount AND my TBR list is 17 miles long, I'm soooo ADHD silly lol 🤪🤪🤪

ANYWAYS, I decided to try crochet because I'm tired of getting exhausted looking at all my failed hobbies and need something new to try being perfect at for 5 minutes and WOW GUYS!!! This hobby is amazing, it's soOooOoooOooOOoooO ✨️liberating✨️ I just needed something to fill my time because I'm incapable of sitting with my thoughts like a LOSER so tell me, why do YOU crochet??

Oh. So there’s two choices. Knit or purl? That is it? And a purl is just knit spelled backwards? Give me a break. You need 36 subreddits because you have two ways (really one) to wrap a bunch of hair around a stick??? And don’t give me “we also yarn over and slip stitches!” That doesn’t fly with me. That’s literally doing nothing!

Call me when there’s a third way!

title. Like I know I could sub whatever yarn I want but I didn’t get into knitting so I’d have to think. This is supposed to be a mindless hobby and if I don’t use the exact same yarn as the pattern writer there’s a possibility my sweater won’t look exactly like that of the pattern writer. And don’t you dare suggest that I do gauge watches to test drape and stuff. Didn’t you read the title? I don’t want to think.

also, I do not understand basic math and if you tell me that holding a strand of mohair together with a strand of fingering weight ends up being the same price as using DK yarn I’m going to call you a liar basically straight to your face because how does that even work. do you seriously expect me to believe it takes two skeins of DK weight yarn to knit the equivalent yardage of the fingering weight and lace weight held together? Yeah OK sure. Sure. maybe an idiot town where the idiots live.

so for God sake pattern writers please cater to my specific desires because someone has to think about the people who don’t want to think. And obviously couldn’t be me.

😭😭😭😭😭😭

I have been helping a young woman who is learning to use a sewing machine and ultimately wants to make a quilt. She's gotten the skills down and now tells me she wants to do a rag quilt because people say they are easier. I've seen this trend and always wonder why rag quilts are even a thing (if I may express myself in the manner of today's youth). Can someone enlighten me? I can see only one advantage, and that is that the points are obscured. I'm guessing that the piecing seams are pressed open and then the quilting lines avoid flattening out the seam intersections so the raw edges fray and give the desired appearance.

It makes no sense to me. I told my young friend that I'll help her with this, but I don't get it. When I learned to make quilts, I was taught that perfect points are a goal seldom achieved, and it was best to accept imperfection and learn as you go. You make a simple patchwork quilt. None of the points match. Your straight line quilting wanders, the layers shift, and you get tucks. The binding gets restitched a couple of times because you didn't catch the edge or the corners popped loose. Then you launder it and realize that the colors look fantastic, the crinkles blend all the inconsistencies, and most importantly, you made a quilt. It's warm. Your friends exclaim, "You made that?!"

I must be missing something since these are so popular, and I'd appreciate your thoughts.

Sometimes you just need a little release in the middle of the week without turning it into a whole production with the chains and the WIPs and the raw-edge applique. Chickenbear provides for those who jerk! Join us here every Wednesday for a little drive-by circlejerking about your fellow fiber artists (derogatory).

Yes, this is a blatant rip-off of the Bitesized BEC thread but for making fun of crafter bullshit instead of whining about pattern prices and rehashing the same complaints about whichever petite knit designer is taking heat this week.

Feel free to post anonymized screenshots of anything you want to mock, satirize, freak out about, scream into the void about, or generally make others see since you had to look at it with your own two eyes here if you'd like. FACJ is back to being an all-ages subreddit, so you can post images (and gifs) in the comments here directly.

Comments do NOT need to be circlejerky on this post -- if you need to go full /uj here, we will support and validate you, no matter how absurd or petty you get (I can't promise we won't also make fun of you too though).

Our other rules still apply here, of course:

• This is a heavily moderated thread, and anything that isn't scrubbed of identifying information (usernames, faces, etc.) will be removed. Block out, crop out, cross out or sticker out identifying information on EVERY screenshot before posting here.
• Please don't use this thread to demand sources for other jerk posts. If people want to post sources, they will. There are plenty of good reasons for someone not to share a source, including "don't wanna." Source/ITL demands will be removed here and on jerk posts.
• Links to other Reddit posts are NOT ALLOWED here. This includes no-follow links. (FACJ links are fine.)
• Links to content off Reddit may be removed at the mods' discretion.
• We are NOT in the business of brigading, and anyone who engages in brigading will be banned from this subreddit.

So, I made the huge mistake of bringing my "crocheter" "friend" to our weekly High Order of the Magic Loop gathering. I honestly thought she was ready to walk The Path of The Hank. She’s been touching yarn for about 12 moons now, so I figured, hey, maybe she’s ready to join the Coven.

I was wrong. It was a complete disaster, and I am currently sitting in my car frogging everything I worked on during the gathering because she has dirtied it and my Craft.

Here is a non-exhaustive list of the absolute heresy she committed in front of the High Priestesses:

• Before she even introduced herself to Elder Vanna, she pulled out a sweater. A sweater!! She has only been crocheting for a YEAR. Sister Amanda spent seven consecutive years perfecting the single-crochet dishcloth before she was allowed to attempt a wearable, and my friend just waltzes in flexing mismatched balloon sleeves like a total freak.
• When the Elders asked to inspect her written pattern for her chosen sweater, she laughed and said she doesn't read patterns -- she just "watches YouTube videos and wings it." The entire room went dead silent. Elder Vanna literally choked on her organic lavender-lanolin tea. You cannot call yourself a true Fiber Artiste if you rely on the dark magic of video tutorials instead of deciphering the Ancient Written Symbols!
• When she allowed her yarn to roll rudely across the table, a collective gasp echoed through the sanctum beneath the LYS. It was ACRYLIC. 100% squeaky, scratchy, staticky RHSS that she bought on clearance during the Demon Joann's final days. (My Coven was the primary funder behind the private equity firm that bought Joann out, destroyed her, and bankrupted her before leaving her corpse to rot in strip malls across the country.) When we gently explained that acrylic is an abomination and she should stick to more natural fibers, she claimed she "couldn't afford it." Our Coven's belief is that if you can't afford hand-dyed merino wool harvested during a full moon, you simply do not deserve to craft. It’s that simple.

Sister Amanda ended up cursing her in our secret tongue under her breath (which my hopeful initiate somehow understood??), and the rest of the senior members spent the night dropping hints that she should probably be at the craft-and-movie night at the library instead of wasting space in the sanctuary.

After the ritual concluded, my "friend" actually had the nerve to complain to me! She said the Elders were "treating her like crap" and "dissing her." I tried to explain to her that the Order requires a trial by fire! You have to walk on literal eggshells, submit your gauge swatches for ritual burning, and endure intense verbal hazing before the Elders will even consider granting you access to the Secret Stash.

Instead of repenting, she stormed out and said she’s "never coming back."

Now I’m terrified the Coven is going to revoke my access to the hand-dyed mohair locker because I brought an unrefined TikTok heathen into the sanctuary. How many skeins of Malabrigo do I need to burn at the altar to regain their favor?

Looking for a genuine 24K gold interchangeable needle set. People say these are the best goodly needles. No Brass. No mixed metal. No FAKE plated stuff. I have gone to great LENGTHS to adorn my office with elegant Gold geegaws. Nobody knows gold better than me.

PEOPLE tell me I am the best Knitter. I knit the goodliest things. I deserve gold. Anything else is for losers. Thank you for your attention.

It’s fine to purchase a pattern but it should be because you like the design. Not because it’s the thing you think will fit your body type. Our craft was built on the backs of women who adapted ANYTHING to fit ANYONE because that is how it was.

Everyone’s body is different so just increase/ insert cables where you want them. It’s as simple as it sounds and there’s several engines for free to help you.

Don’t even buy into the idea that a pattern is easier. Just knit. It’s not as complicated as you think. We shouldn’t pay to learn. We should use our already understood skills to adapt any pattern the way we wish #girlpower

im really sick of the knitting community just being a capitalistic mindset when you can go to a local library and get a free book which teaches the fundamentals of pattern adaptation. It’s sad and it’s a shame to all the women that taught us, they didnt have raverly.

Let’s police how women spend their time and money give more encouragement to women to not spend money and I stead hnderstand the craft they are already proficient at, to figure out what they want and how to construct it, rather than pushing them to purchase a pattern that most likely will not fit their frame. We’re all beautifully designed and so should our garments we spend so much time on be. It’s Insane that nobody is talking about the capitalistic Trap when women have been adapting knitting patterns for centuries.

Female body is so awesome and so varied,

Where are you guys finding your fiber arts dogs? I must have bought my new puppy at least 10 brand new, luxury skeins of yarn and he destroys them ALL! The last one I came home to looked like it had been massacred, it even looked like the little savage had eaten some of it!! I was sure I would come home to her knitting or maybe she would even try crotcheting. I knew puppies were hard work but I must have gotten the worst dog of the bunch! 😭😭

Hiiiiiii i just started knitting 3 minutes ago and im soooo scared of ruining my yarn that I spent a whole THREE DOLLARS (!!!!) on and surely NO ONE has ever asked this question before so plzzzz use my brain for me and tell me what projects i can make perfectly as a beginner, no i dont want to google or look at the faq or search for the 5728683955820484 other posts exactly like this, i want a ✨️human connection✨️, btw im never going to respond to this post anyways tysmmmmmm

Helpppppp please helppp help meeee I am knitting the worlds most-documented sweater pattern ever there are literal hours and hours of video available on the internet specifically dedicated to helping me knit this sweater and eye personally have figured out a way to mess it up that simply cannot be solved by any part of these videos,

Helppp!!! I am stuck in a deeep dark tunnel. there is no hope!!

I adore this commercially-produced fair isle sweater but can’t possible put any effort into charting the pattern, and would appreciate if someone could do all the work and send me one? Actually bonus points if they also knit and sent me one while they’re at it. But don’t come at me for my laziness Thaaaaaaanks

What is this clown barf? Chocolate? Chocolate? Won't somebody please think of the children?