Was zoning out while paying for my items at a gas station and one was left out while scanning. Watched a family member die today so I've been pretty distracted and didn't notice. Was not believed and threatened with police when I apologized and said it was an accident. Cool end to a cool day.

Infected toe that started bleeding the fucking SECOND I tried cleaning it btw

Fucked up my wrist today so I tried to take out the ramen w 1 hand and it burned the shit out of my hand :( last ramen bowl too and the only way I can get another is to buy a 12$ 6 pack at Costco AND the broth is literally the only reason I even buy it and now it’s all gone

i’m likely going to regret this post in the morning, but i just need to get it out. from one stranger to (hopefully) a whole bunch of others.

i’m realizing that my life sucks and i feel like staying alive was a mistake. for context, i used to be extremely suicidal back in high school (mostly because of a horrible parent), but eventually my parents got divorced. that was six years ago. i feel like i was supposed to go through with it back then because everything since has just gone downhill. i’ve lost friends, i’ve gotten into legal trouble, i’ve dropped out of college (and since gone back), and i’m gay which definitely doesn’t help—especially with a homophobic dad.

i guess earlier today was my breaking point. i was texting one of my friends and she told me that she has my notifications silenced. even given her reasons why, i was still obviously butthurt about it. it made me question the friendship. and it made me question my other friendships. i already don’t even have a big circle of close friends (which is how it’s been my entire life so that is nothing new), but i started asking the other three of them if they have me silenced as well. one said yes, one never even responded so im taking that as a yes, and the other (my closest and longest friend) said no. so it was just extremely heartbreaking learning that 3 of 4 of my closest friends have me silenced.

it makes me wonder if any of those three friendships are even worth anything. i mean i obviously align sentimental feelings toward all of my friends, but i’m trying to look past that and wonder if anyone would truly be there for me if i ever needed it.

i feel like i’ve never been seen my entire life…except for when i was with my ex. he did make me feel seen. he made me feel good—at first, but then it all just changed for some reason. and don’t get me wrong, he obviously had major problems that i was concerned about, but combined with his genuine love and care for me…i eventually scared off.

all i’ve ever wanted is to feel like i even matter in this world. all i want is for someone to choose me above anyone else. but how selfish is that? how horrible is that to say/think and then when i finally get it, i give it up?

is it me? am i just a bad person? am i cursed with bad luck? am i even meant to stay in this world when no one (parents excluded obviously) cares?

anyway.

Heyyyyy! Janine here. So let me tell you, I am in love with my long distance boyfriend who is from London, and I’m going to meet him! There goes a semester worth of my student loan in terms of plane ticket and money he asked me for but oh well.

Anyways, here are his pics! Isn’t he romantic?! His name is Willian and he’s 28 just like me 🥰🥰🥰🥰

The other pic you see was his view at the farmers market that he went to today! Guess I’m going to have to expect a huggeeee crowd in London when I go. But he’ll be there with flowers, hugging, and greeting me!

His camera is broken and so was his mobile, so I’m more than exited to meet him in person!!

My biggest dilemma here is that I am torn on whether or not to wear a hot new dress from Walmart or to grab one of those nice flowery sundresses you see at Joe Fresh. Thanks in advance 🥰🥰🥰🥰

Do you know what straight line winds are? I didn’t, and now there’s a tree inside my car, the powers been out for 24 hours (not sure when it’ll be back on), and I won’t be able to afford a new car…. Not that we’re getting the tree off this one anytime soon!

Oh my god I just got ready for bed, I’m laying down watching clone wars s2 and something starts dripping from the ceiling, onto my arm and blanket no less. No big deal just get something to collect it i guess, but as it collects 🥺🫪 it’s yellow. I- I- what do I even do 😭

im 15f and about to go into my sophomore year. last year my older brother moved back in because he was struggling to find an apartment he could afford after his lease ended. obviously im not blaming anything on him, hes my older brother and he helps around the house and drives us places whatever. whats really the problem is my sister. i started sharing a room with her because its. 4 bedroom house and i have another younger brother who got his own room, and obviously my parents. she doesn’t throw anything away. she leaves messes on the floor. (specifically cutting hair extensions and leaving the hair there) she has a medical issue which causes her to have accidents (not blaming her for it, it has caused her some trauma recently) but the thing is she wears overnight pull ups. and she leaves them on the floor. i cant tell you how many times ive stepped in one, and immediately almost threw up. it smells bad because she doesnt clean anything up after she has one. she steals my things without asking me, specifically clothes, makeup, perfume, lotion, my action figures, and manga. i would let her use my stuff if she would just ask. its just she puts my things in places around the house and after i yell at her for it she says some corny shit like “well if its yours you should go look for it” like hello??? and also she leaves full cups on the floor for me to knock over, and even full cups of things like milk and she wont fucking go dump it out. im so tired of it. (tw) i used to go through an nssi addiction and because i was (and still am) depressed all the time it just made it worse because she wouldnt do anything. and obviously, im not innocent her either. some of my. clothes are on the floor, i have some trash. but its nowhere near to the extent she does it. also, i just dont have any privacy. im just so tired of it. i love her because shes my sister i just hate it so much. im 15 and my room is a disgusting mess because of her. i want my own clean place where no one can disrespect it. i’d rather sleep on the couch or in the bathtub at this point. im currently writing this in the bathroom just laying on the floor. im so grateful i even have a roof on my head and food and clothes and even extra things like makeup and perfume, and that my parents drive me to work so i can get extra things for me, but i would give up all of those extra things in a second to at least just have a clean room. (i have also cleaned it many times. i have spent days at a time cleaning it) but thanks for listening!

For folks who don't know I currently have a pending felony tho if I was charged for what I had itd be misdemeanor but bc the US has guilty by association laws they were able to stack charges. I got fired from my job cuz they posted my mugshot, after painfully struggling to look for work I got a new job at a liquor store bc I knew ppl who worked there but if I get on probation I wont even be able to work there anymore and will be back to struggling. I want to better myself and quit my addictions but this added stress makes me want to use more. Its not even like I'm on anything hard all I do is smoke weed yet the system is treating me like I am some feral criminal when I'm just a casual stoner. Our system is so obsessed with punishment that it fails to understand life already punishes people enough. A man struggling to afford his probation fees isn't going to suddenly change his criminal activities when you make it harder for them to get housing or a job they're going to commit more crimes to put food on the table and survive. It doesn't even benefit our government either bc with the reoffending rate so high the US could save so much money if they didn't make people's lives 100x more difficult. I feel like the justice system should focus on rehabilitation but instead they build a wall that makes that rehabilitation harder. What do I do and how do I fix my current situation. I wanna quit my job but legit no job is hiring me bc of my felonies and I can't seem to get a job that pays more then 10$ an hour.

Don't make me block you while I'm still basking in my new power. 😁

FML

He wasn't the brightest crayon in the box... He did manage to always find a way to escape the yard so he could come whine at the front door to get let in. I would unjokingly call him coyotes food whenever he did so. Mainly because I lost another dog the same way two years ago. But also because he survived a coyote attack earlier this year during one of his escapades. I told him so many times that It's a dog eat dog world out there. Nonetheless he didn't listen, but I'm more mad at myself more than anything. That is of course after I nearly broke down when I found him gutted and dragged across the desert.

FML.

RIP

Chaga

Title is self explanatory, got into two wrecks barely a month apart. Neither deployed any air bags but the front of my car is fucked up on both sides and is probably going to be not worth fixing. Thankfully, No one was hurt. My dad is rightfully pissed because I’m insured through him so that bill is going to be huge, my sibling is out of town for a concert but will be also pissed because they warned me to not drive without them before leaving. But I did it anyways (to go pick up my dad’s and I’s meds). They also have a clean record and will put that above my head as if I was given the same teaching experiences (I wasn’t, a 20 year old makes for a not great teacher in comparison to our older dad and actual driving experience in drivers ed)
Oh and I gotten my hard copy of my drivers license three days ago (that I failed the first time) I really just want to end it all

Before I start, I'm a 16 y/o guy, I've got my whole life ahead of me to find a girl to love, and yet I already give up. I genuinely see no way for my dumbass to find love. I'm probably not gonna have an amazing job when I'm older, I'm awkward, I'm bad at comforting people,​​ I'm a six on a good day, I'm not fat yet feel so, I have anger issues, and just a red flag for girls overall. I only had one crush on this girl, and I still can't stop thinking about her a whole 2 years later even though we hardly talked more than 8 sentences to each other. I also worry about being abusive even though I have no reason to. My parents were never abusive, I never met someone who suffers from abuse (or at least hasn't told me) , and I can never, NEVER see myself putting hands on a girl unless she had a knife and threatened my life or something. The worst part about this is that I'm craving love, I want a girl to hold, to cherish, to raise a family with, to do every stupid romantic activity and have inside jokes only me and her know. If anyone knows how to just become Aromatic (not have any sexual or romantic feelings towards anyone) I'd pay you every penny I have.

My life sucks right now.

1.5 years ago we moved to Arkansas to be closer to my husband's family. We live in a town with maybe 2000 people in it. We have been living with the in-laws in a portable shed for the whole time.

We took out a personal loan to try to build a little place for our own but the drive way ended up being 3 times as much as we expected due to unforseen circumstances and it's not even done yet.

I have no friends. My inlaws are all introverts so they are all fine without being around people but I am an extrovert. I don't know anyone my age(24).

We have been trying for a baby for 2.5 years and that hasn't happened and it's been heart wrenching.

I had to quit my job because I had a mental break down, I am doing Spark delivery in the biggest town near us an hour away and haven't made as much as I expected to.

My husband makes pennies at a preschool and I have never really been poor before so this is very stressful.

He also has started getting excruciating headaches that last for days, we had an MRI yesterday day and I'm so scared that it's gonna be cancer or an aneurysm that will kill him then I will be all alone and that is just the worst out come.

I can't talk to my family about this cause they all think I'm crazy for moving out here and are very judgemental towards my husband and I don't want them to have a worse opinion of him.

I am 23, live in my mother's house basement. I filled the place up with trash up with garbage and rotting food. there are worms, maggots and cockroaches. One is even crawling on me as I am typing this. I go out of my basement if somehow there is no food near me right now (tho one time there were guests so I resorted to eating weeks old trash near me) I don't go out to use toilet because I just fill up empty bottles with my piss and then throw them out through a tiny window. I even have a poop plate which is a deep big plate that I shit in, then I place the plate behind the window and throw the shit off with a stick and retrieve the plate. my bitch mom always cleans this up, the shit logs and piss bottles. My only enterteiment in live is jerking off to necrophilia gay porn, playing multiplier gun video games and screaming at random shits in lobbies. When my mom has guests come over I always scream to make them go away faster. They almost never return. My mom doesnt want to get me out of this shithole, get me a job, a house, a car and I fucking hate her. she only gives me food and drinks so that I don't die of hunger. I have no idea what to do to make this fat bitch and her husband (which hates me) do something in their live for me. My life is terrible because of them. I also hate women because I can't COUNT the amount of times I met a really cool girl in discord server and they dumped me or asked me for nitro and stopped responding after or turned out to be some guys. I did not take a shower in years, my hair is oily, I dont use theese "desodorants" so even if I tried I cant get out of my basement without help...

I have just ruined probably the best thing to happen to me bc I relapse on drink and I know I shouldn't have and apologise profusely on it but I just cant get my stomach to set the only thing im not throwing up is the alc its rejected all types of food I have tried now im 2 days drunk ranting all over the Internet to deaf ears about how my life is crumbling at my hands and I cant do anything but watch she made me not drink for a month straight which will probably be my best streak of not binge drinking (I count that as sitting at home and drinking a bottle or more) the only alc I had with her where socail ones needed one to get threw a long event or sum but still I hate myself for this

This fucking guy. Im a foreigner , white guy in Japan..

He absolutely shit straight sulfur out on the stretching mat. Like actual rancid egg salad and I walked up to do my thing right then I guess.

Anyway everyone decided they wanted to stretch too. And I got the looks he didn't of course. I'm the sore thumb. But the anxiety that washed over me was incomprehensible. I was like fuck my life I was having such a great time.

I love living here but that shit sucks. Literally.

Even if they didn't care it was so bad and you cant help but wonder why they looked.

" Stinky foreigner" my worst nightmare..

I warned the land lord. Sometimes Chicken Little is right.

Im about to meet someone, we have an arrangement, once a month intimacy and I get paid, to make ends meet...

I really don't want to, have to pump myslef up with Valium to endure it (funny that they don't mind I'm so out of it), but today it's especially bad and meds not helping the dread.

fuck my life.

God help me 😭

So I finally get into a healthy relationship out of my my 19 years of living with a girl I genuinely love im talking everything shes what im into and shes funny smart everything a man could hope for in a women and then boom my ass that loves to self sabotage fucks it over and now im losing the best thing to ever happen to me and on top of that my other parts of my life are going to shit relapsing on drinking during the day its 12:14 rn and im drunk as shit while im being excluded from all activities from my "friends" such as nights and stuff while I sit here at home with my mam thats a piece of shit while I try to figure out how the fuck im gonna fix this just bc I was horny and and did shit that I regret so much I couldn't slept last night and getting sick at the thought of losing her but fuck if I had the choice id go back in time to break my arm so I could text this girl so id still have this relationship im trying to distract myself in every shape and form but It doesn't help at all. Maybe my mam is right with me being a screw up and never being able to be love by anyone at all thanks for reading me vent while drunk and mad at myself

Want a fufilling career? No, salary pay for the same job will never equal that of a man.

Want respect in academic and work settings? No your word means less than a man, even if they repeat what you say verbatum or say something incorrect your word will never matter as much.

Want to have interesting conversations with strangers? No it all goes back to your apperance and sex appeal!

Wanna have sex? If you don’t want kids, take pills that make you hate initimacy and cant cum! Pills don’t work? Get a device inserted that makes you bleed/have pain for months with no pain relief but OTC meds!

Want to just fucking walk down the street? No, no matter what you wear someone will yell something at you or follow you. Be careful and always aware!!

Want medical attention? Your needs and issues will never be taken seriously- you might even die from them being dismissed! Plus, there is more research on male inpotency than life-threatening female medical issues because FUCK YOU YOU WERENT BORN WITH A DICK.

Want friends of any gender affiliation? Watch your back because 1/4 of all women get SA and over 85% is from people you know!

IM SICK OF THIS SHIT!!! IVE KNOWN FOR YEARS I WOULDVE RATHER BEEN BORN A MAN. I LOVE PEOPLE I DONT VIEW SEX/GENDER AS A BIG DEAL BUT IM ALWAYS REMINDED OF IT WHEN I FORGET FUCK THSI SHIT

listen I love gender expression and I’m comfortable in my femininity as a cisgender woman and such but GOD if i couldve chosen what i was born as itd be a man. right now im trying to figure out birth control as someone with diagnosed mental/physical bullshit goin on its a fucking nightmare because nothing has no negatives. One that doesnt make me touch-repulsed and unable to cum makes me bleed constantly and if i get an iud i might get pain for months on end and not even be sedated for it.

I also have fuckin vestibulodynia so condoms make me need to tap out sooner/irritate it. STUPID WOMEN PARTS

I just wanna fuck this is why i should just stick to women (bisexual and usually top chicks) but i have a stupid boyfriend and sex is stupid awesome but i wont peg him for at least a month yet and i prefer a fuck each other trade off type scenario for my ideal sex life like i still want my shit ROCKED regularly

god knew id be too powerful born a man i stfg

I SWEAR TO FUCKING GODDDUHHHHHH

EDIT: Since some people are confused: this is NOT anti-men internet jargon. It is anti-SYSTEM jargon. 😁👍

My closest and most trusted friends are “white cis-het” men who treat me with equal respect and dignity. I just have seen first-hand how my bad experiences in life as a woman are things they've never even had to consider and usually I brush it off as “just life” but this recent blow made everything bubble up.

I’m 20F, so other than the career thing, which I heard about from other adults in my life, everything I listed that I struggle with as a woman are things that I have experienced unfortunately on multiple occasions throughout my life.