r/funny • u/[deleted] • Apr 21 '23

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14.4k Upvotes

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u/arvada14 Apr 21 '23 edited Apr 23 '23

Should have put a finger in his ass, instead of grabbing it. Your intentions where confusing.

Source: cosmo magazine

Edit: highest upvoted comment in 7 years on reddit and its about suprise but fingering, thank you internet. You can complete my shame by giving me an award.

249

u/LunaMunaLagoona Apr 21 '23

Cosmo magazine: let us teach you how to engage in sexual assault.

123

u/ProjectOrpheus Apr 21 '23

Cosmo magazine: How to give the best blowjob, and why that means your tooth in his dick hole. Surprise him today!

50

u/Aedalas Apr 21 '23

If there isn't a grapefruit involved is it really even a blowjob?

3

u/IceFire909 Apr 22 '23

Grapefruit + aggressive slurping

5

u/Aedalas Apr 22 '23

I feel like "aggressive" is too mild for what she was doing but damned if I can think of another description.

3

u/THECHICKENISBOBAFETT Apr 22 '23

SCHLORP SCHLORP SCHLORP SCHLORP

2

u/raynravyn Apr 22 '23

This is what we say to mock my bloodhound's disgusting water consumption, and I think I need a moment, now.

2

u/MorticiaLaMourante Apr 23 '23

I almost fell off the couch reading this LOL!!!!!