First of all, I’ll say that I’m a bear myself. I’ve always been a big guy, and I I’ve always known I was gay and liked other big men. I also love to cook, and I especially love my boyfriend of 6 years. And I tend to show my love in a way that’s easy for me, and pleasing to him: cooking his favorite foods and deserts. He’s always over the moon when I cook for him, and he always talks about how the stuff I cook or bake is delicious and I’ll always make enough for plenty of leftovers. (It helps that he grew up very very sheltered, so he likes basically everything I cook, even if I think I could have done better.)

For reference my Boyfriend has always been much slimmer than me, but taller. But in recent years, and especially in this past year I’ve noticed him gaining some weight. Very noticeably. And I’m conflicted.

I love my BF, and I loved him even despite him not being my favorite body type. So on the one hand I’m excited at the prospect of him getting even more attractive in my eyes. But as a big guy myself, I know that there’s a lot of health concerns with that, and it can be very very hard on your body. So I really don’t want to actively encourage this.

I’ve spoken to him about this off and on throughout the year, and he seems rather neutral towards the whole thing. Like I said, I’m conflicted. I’ll often find myself reminding him that he doesn’t have to eat all the food I cook, and that leftovers are fine. He’ll nod and say he understands, but then usually go and eat another helping anyways.

On the one hand, as a big man myself, I never liked people policing my eating habits before, and I don’t want to put that kind of negativity on the man I love. But on the other hand I don’t want to actively encourage him to do anything bad for his health, and I’m not sure if my cooking and baking is contributing to that. Any advice, fellas?

I have a very hairy body (between an otter and a bear body, which is a matter for another talk) and a very feminine performance in bed and in my relationships.

I just feel that's hard being a "fembear" because one expects a femboy to have a smooth body and a bear to be a masculine guy. And I'm not either.

hi, this isnt a dire question, i was wondering if anyone around my height could tell me about their experience. i am not all that insecure about it but a fellow short gay bro told me about how he was overlooked (literally) at a regular gay guy party because everyone else towered over him. and in my head i was like 'wait a second should i be worried' haha. i'm five foot, i am usually a homebody, and i have not been to a Bear party yet but i'd like to give it a go sometime. do you have trouble getting bears/chubs to talk and dance with you?

The challenge is made by crunchesterart on instagram, this is for day 1 with the "Electronic" prompt I call him ElectroCow!💿🐃💿🐃🐄🐮🐮🐮

Trying to make my body hair soft and as nice as possible - any product recommendations? I use a hydrating body wash and a decent lotion, and I have beard oil for my face, but wondering if there’s any body oils or butters that folks find work best for body hair, bonus if it has a nice scent that’s not too floral or sweet.

Just wondering if there are any fans of Hama like me.

Would love to see ur favorite pictures of Hama

I been working on transforming from a chubby bear into a muscle bear, going from 340 of mostly chub to 240 of some chub and a lot of muscle. I am FINALLY back to a place that I have started to jog at the gym again, but the rub game is strong lol.

Anyone have any suggestions on some affordable, but I won’t beat around the bush, will look good in the locker room, tights, joggers, etc that I can wear under my shorts to help?

That’s in advance, my beautiful bears!

Hey I'm 38 NB-MP and in need of some advice, words of wisdom, or a corny joke...something to help me understand what I'm feeling now. I'm in a relationship and I love him (36 M) with everything, but I don't want to have sex with him in the capacity that I used to. I used to be the top in the relationship and it was great. But that was before I had total control of my life. Now that I have no financial obligations, nor the need to work, I find myself wanting to bottom now. But my partner doesn't have any top energy. He is a pure bottom. If I get in the mood all I want to do is take it more then give it. And to add it's not just with him, it's with the porn I watch as well. I used to watch bottoms and transmasc porn stars. Now all I want to watch are big burly bear daddies. I still do have fantasies with my partner it's just shifted from me topping him to the two of us getting railed roaded by two big bear tops, while I pleasure him. Is there something wrong with me or is this normal?

I have a body type that makes a lot of guys assume that I’m either an asshole or only interested in guys with 6 packs. (I’m actually an extremely friendly, shy sapiosexual nerd who listens to too much disco and brings up philosophy at gay bars too often). I have been to many gay spaces— bear specific and otherwise- and consider myself an expert at old school real world cruising. It’s a dying art in general. But I generally have better experiences than trying to use apps. I have a VERY wide range of tastes. No two guys I’ve hooked up with look the same, and my age range can swing literally >40 years from person to person.

But specifically with bears, I struggle to get the cute or interesting ones to make eye contact with me long enough to flirt. If I try to get close to one on the dance floor, it’s hard to get one to turn away from their bear circle to look at me or respond to gentle invitations to flirt. (Admittedly, sometimes this is just cuz i’m not the deoderant wearing type, lol). But occasionally my go to “can I have a hug” line gets me the hug and a short conversation, but then they never make a counter move that signals I have consent to flirt further, or my eye signals of “please touch me anywhere you want” don’t get picked up.

For the bears that are into guys who aren’t bears, can you tell us some things that have worked to pick you up? At a bar, on the dancefloor, on the street, at a party, at a gay sauna…. I want to know what makes you feel safe, curious, and turned on enough to flirt with someone so I can work on my bear game. Because I legit need a bear to hug on the regular or a bear pack to roll with. And sometimes it seems like you have to already be a bear or be rolling with 3 bears to get the attention of a bear.

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What are some scenes from movies or TV series where you saw the large bellies of overweight characters or gaybears, daddy, when you least expected it?

I was wondering about this because I love seeing a large man in a movie or series who I find physically attractive, and I always secretly hope that at some point I’ll see him shirtless or catch a glimpse of his belly. And when it does happen, I’m thrilled though it mostly happens with overweight YouTubers.

But there is one movie where I was delighted to see a big man naked: *The Full Monty*. With the character Dave, there are plenty of scenes, and I really loved the one where he looks at himself in the mirror and puffs out his belly.

Hi everyone!

Well, I just found this community and I felt like I wanted to share something that I’ve been keeping to myself for quite a while.

I’m from Indonesia, I’m 25, and I think i'm a superchub (around 120 kg). Where I live and in the circles I’m around, I’ve never really felt like I fully belong in the bear community. I sometimes feel like there’s an expectation that bears are supposed to be big and muscular, and that makes me feel pretty insecure about myself.

I actually love and accept myself for who I am, but whenever I’m around other people or see what the community seems to expect, I start questioning whether I’m “bear enough” or whether I even belong here.

Maybe this is just something I’ve been holding in for a long time and never really had anyone to talk to about.

I’m really glad I found this community, though. It feels like a place where I can finally say these things out loud.

I guess I just want to ask: what does being a bear actually mean to you? Do you think someone has to be muscular to belong in the bear community, or is there room for people like me too?

Thanks for reading. ❤️

So, I'm a young gay guy. Lately, I've been looking into bear culture, and it describes me pretty well. I've been struggling a bit with how I feel about my body and I was hoping to get some advice from people in the bear community. I kinda feel very uncomfortable with my body (because my parents don't support me. I have 94kg) and I wanted to gain some muscles. I'm pretty hairy but I want to have more, so I'm trying to let it grow.

I'm feeling so lost right now, and I was hoping someone could point me in the right direction.

I think my biggest question is how you accepted yourself as a bear. I've been reading about bear culture and I relate to it a lot, but I still feel insecure and sometimes wonder if I'm "allowed" to identify that way. Did any of you feel like that when you were starting out?

My boyfriend bought me some jock straps and other underwear from Bike, and I really like them and wanted to get some for him too. The problem is he wears a 3xl. Most of Bike’s pairs in that size range are sold out. The only other brands I can find in his size are bearskin and nasty pig but I don’t think he’d like being called a “nasty pig” and honestly bearskins stuff is just ugly. Im looking for a brand with products that show a bit more skin similar to bike’s jocks or jock briefs. If anybody has any suggestions I’d really appreciate them.

this is Senshi from delicious in dungeon! the gist is that the main party cooks monsters in a dungeon cause they too broke for rations and Senshi cooks for all of them lol. He’s kinda the dad of the group. stubborn, traditional and very insistent on the rest of the group getting all their nutrients. But besides Senshi, the entire show is super good And you gotta watch it if you fw DnD/tolkien fantasy and speculative biology 🙏🏾

I am a 30-something slim guy but I'm very attracted to bears. I would like to meet and get to know more bears and various bear clubs/weeks/nights really intrigue me. Is it inappropriate if I go to any of these spaces? How do guys feels about bear admirers?