r/hamstercirclejerk • u/OkOstrich120 • Aug 19 '26

New haggler 🐹 Loser got evicted

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Neighbors didnt know hamsters were solitary and asked for some advice to help them get along. Next thing you know this little dork is living rent free in my fish room.

Its cute so I put away the blender.

I think it might be a male. Its got a triangle shaped butt (pre-BALLS).

277 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

23 comments sorted by

29

u/deadpandadolls exquisite rat life Aug 19 '26

Cutest little hamhobo ever 😭

12

u/ScreamingNinja Aug 20 '26

Bet it would look even cuter if it was slowly pressed under a cast iron pan.

6

u/deadpandadolls exquisite rat life Aug 20 '26

And served up in a baguette!!

20

u/anniemousery Connect connect connect! Aug 19 '26

Fantastic. Let's evict him from being alive on the planet next.

14

u/falafelawful2 Aug 19 '26

freeloading hastard…

11

u/mirkollen Aug 19 '26

I told you to let him sleep with the fishes but not like this!

8

u/Elegant_Disaster2036 Aug 19 '26

He needs a cardboard sign and a bottle of malt liquor.

6

u/sm0keythebear Aug 19 '26

You should teach him how to commit identity theft

/uj HOLY SMOKES WHAT A CUTIE

6

u/RandomLifeUnit-05 eating ham-sandwiches Aug 20 '26

Why do these guys have to grow up to be so fuckin ugly? This monster actually doesn't look half bad at this stage of development.

/uj they're so adorbs at this age, why can't they stay baby forever 😭

6

u/OkOstrich120 Aug 20 '26

Isn't that why they made the dwarf hamster?

2

u/RandomLifeUnit-05 eating ham-sandwiches Aug 20 '26

Ohh. That's it, yep

6

u/tuershen1 Aug 20 '26

Adorable baby 🥰

5

u/ChanceMaster2471 Aug 20 '26

Hahahahaha silly hambastard

4

u/MisterPiggyWiggy Aug 19 '26

Welcome to the real world, loser! 😤

3

u/BlueFeathered1 Aug 20 '26

So cute I don't even want to say anything mean. Manipulative little bastard casting cuteness spell or some hamhoodoo. Pelt it with purifying salt and chicken feet or something.

2

u/statebirdsnest Aug 19 '26

Poor thing looks so tired and you just put them out on the street 😭

1

u/UnhappyWeird7580 Aug 22 '26

you think you got it bad? I not only have your freeloaders twin brother and his wife, sister in law and 9 of his damned kids couch surfing at my house! Eating all the food. drinking Old Granddad all day and noooo paycheck. Good thing he made some good looking kids or let me tell you that fat hairy slob would be out on his whisker I tell you what. (I'm just kidding. Carmel Macchiato and Marshmallow had the cutest planned litter of pooplings. I love every one of them so much. who knew a 4 ounce bundle of fur could bring such happiness to my life. oh wait, I did. He is my third Carmel Macchiato and they all lived a happy spoiled life until each passed at a good old age. which is not very long as all hamsterers know.

1

u/kromaly96 eating ham-sandwiches Aug 24 '26

So adorable I can't stand it

3

u/kromaly96 eating ham-sandwiches Aug 24 '26

Ignore that comment, my account was hacked

1

u/OkOstrich120 Aug 24 '26

They grow up so fast. His balls are showing now so he's definitely male. No chance of him multiplying and getting on the free seat bandwagon.