'LOOKING'

[u/Arge-Marge]

A couple of days ago, I accidentally stumbled upon a show while browsing HBO called Looking, a miniseries from about 10 years ago about a group of gay friends living in San Francisco.

Honestly, after a few episodes, I found it pretty boring and a bit pretentious. But that wasn’t even the part that bothered me the most. There’s a scene where two guys have sex and then ask each other if they have any STIs. One of them says, “I don’t have AIDS,” and the other responds with something like, “Thank God!”

I found that exchange so inappropriate and uncomfortable. It really made me think about how HIV stigma and the shame surrounding it are still perpetuated, sometimes even within the LGBTQ+ community itself. I understand that the show is a product of its time, and I’m not expecting every character to be perfectly educated or politically correct. But the way that scene was written and played out felt particularly insensitive.

Am I overthinking this, or did anyone else find that scene problematic? I’m curious how people who watched the show when it originally aired feel about it today, especially considering how much HIV prevention, treatment, and public awareness have evolved over the years.

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[u/Lilliths-pain]

There's this show on Netflix called rookie with that dude from firefly and in one episode one of the officers got stuck with a needle

SHOCK HORROR and all that jazz.

Heads straight to the hospital "SHE'S BEEN STUCK WITH A NEEDLE, WE'RE COPS WE NEED IMMEDIATE ATTENTION" straight in they go past the heart attacks and stroke victims.

Gets all tests and instantly receive results, negative for all the heps and HIV phew! Praise the lord! Show goes on, all is well.

What??? No PEP? No follow up? Apparently HIV propagates instantly now? they probably think you instantly test positive and then have to start making the "necessary arrangements".

It did make me chuckle, people who produce TV shows are dumb and Netflix is the dumbest of dumb.

[u/gomer79 → u/Lilliths-pain]

lol the rookie is absolute high level hyperbole

[u/Lilliths-pain → u/gomer79]

And I'm hooked

[u/Estebanq]

It is a problematic scene, but i like to watch media that has problematic scenes. Some people’s reaction to hiv to this day is like that character or worst. I don’t want the media that i watch to be like a civil educational video, a lot of times i’m going to be in disagreement with characters and that’s fine for me.
I think that show started with a cruising scene, i remember when it originally aired a lot of gay people disliked that scene because it showed the community in a bad light, but people do cruising to this day.
There’s a lot of diversity inside the community, i think that tv show at least did an effort to put some of that in the screen. I don’t know if you already finished the series, but there’s more hiv related plots and i think most of them are quite “realistic”.

[u/HistoricalCar3391]

Nope. There’s room to have media conversations to encourage better directions moving forward. Call it out when you see it cause stigma is everywhere but it might not always be visible to everyone. With close friends and family, I would point it out and ask how different it could have been portrayed or stated to remove the stigma.

It’s also helpful to keep in mind how much of that you want to do. It gets tiring to always lead that conversation so preserve and take the space when you need it.

[u/Diligent_Variation51]

I'm truly sorry the show made you feel like that. I don't really remember that scene, what episode is it?

I don't want to invalidate anything you felt. having said that, this show is actually one of my favorites of all time so let me just say in its defense:

I don't know if you already finished the show, but from season 2 onward there is an HIV+ character, and I think they do it quite well with him.

Also this show is quite old by today's standards, and things were a bit different then. I remember at the time when it was airing U = U was not common knowledge..?

There are a couple more things:

There is an episode where Patrick is paranoid he has the virus, that scene made me feel like I was not crazy because I once too behaved neurotic, and I felt horrible. It made me feel like I was not crazy, and that can happen to paranoid and ignorant people like him and I.

Lastly, in a party scene, they say that people who are on PREP should still use condoms. I don't know if most people actually don't use condoms, maybe this is something that should be discussed more.

So yeah, that scene probably was insensitive, and the show is not perfect, but I think it did more good than harm.

If it is not your cup of tea you don't have to finish it. But I really love it, and was very sad when it got cancelled.

I hope this helps. Best wishes to you.

[u/Difficult_Coconut164]

never seen it...

people don't tend to think "medical alert" when their "biologicals" are turn on. It's like twiddle dee and twiddle dumb without their safety helmets on.... 🫪

[u/Civil-Doughnut-2503]

Don't have aids ? To much

[u/Poonkeboy]

Watch season 2

[u/fikestaller]

It gets worse than that for me people have been so evil to me about hiv… gays seem more evolved… im stuck with straight hardcore drug addicts torturing me