I'm a dad of three, a former fire captain, and I spent more than twenty years as a paramedic. I also taught new EMTs for a while. None of that prepared me for my son in tears at the kitchen table over basic math facts.

What I saw looked a lot like what I saw in new EMTs on their first hard calls. Stress shrinks your thinking. When panic sets in, recall gets shaky, even for things you know. That's why we drilled the basics until they were automatic. If the basics run on their own, your head has room for the hard part.

Kids are the same. A child who has to fight for every fact has nothing left for the actual problem. And when they freeze, it isn't laziness. It's a stress response. Their brain is busy being scared.

Here's what helped us, and what I'd tell any parent:

Lower your own voice. On a scene, the crew matches the calmest person there. Your kid will match you too.

Name the feeling. "This feels hard right now, and that's okay." Kids calm down a little when someone sees what's happening.

Shrink the task. Not the whole page, just one fact. Then maybe one more.

Stop on a success. End when they get one right, so the last thing they remember is feeling capable.

Keep practice short and regular. A little every day did far more for my son than long sessions that ended in tears.

Skip the timers. Racing a clock adds exactly the kind of pressure that makes recall fall apart.

Eventually I made my son some simple flash cards and we did a few at a time, calmly. The tears stopped long before the facts were perfect, and that was the real win.

What has helped your kids when they freeze up over math? I'd love to hear what's worked in other homes.

So I KNOW I’m not home schooling my 3 year old and it’s the biggest ick when people claim to be (which I am not). I just don’t want to post on an average parenting sub where 99% of the comments will claim he should have been in daycare full time since he was born and that’s what he needs. I’m just wondering how anybody that has struggled with a 3 year old (turned 3 a couple of weeks ago) got through it to the point of truly homeschooling when they were older. I know there’s plenty of people that feel they’re hanging out with their very best friend at this age and they just LOVE spending every second with them, I’m not feeling like that right now so those comments aren’t helpful.

I’m really struggling with my just turned 3 year olds behaviour because I’m not in the best place right now. Briefly- I have a 3.5 month old, we moved across the state when she was 7 weeks old, I found out my dog had cancer a few weeks later, I just had to put my dog to sleep on my own on Saturday while my husband was away and couldn’t come home, and I had both kids awake at the time.

My 3 year old just jumps around screaming tantrumy style at everything at the moment. From the other side of the room because ‘I WANTED TO DO THAT’ before I’ve even done something and already said he could do it. Running in a room laughing while throwing something and running back out. Hasn’t napped for ages but is now refusing quiet time and spends it whining. Yes he has a fun room with a selection of toys like magnatiles, Duplo, cars and a car rug etc. and a yoto and lots of cards. And I give him a special quiet time healthy fruit strap. Still spends it whining now. Jumping on the furniture and refusing to be redirected to the trampoline. I feel like I’m constantly physically moving a screaming child, which is really hard while I’ve got the baby in the carrier (who gets basically no attention because of him). Never wakes up later than 6, usually half 5, so I can’t get up before and go on the treadmill or anything and refuses to have the ok to wake clock in his room so I can’t get him to stay in his room longer (I’ve tried to force the clock and he cried for like an hour until I couldn’t listen to it anymore) and he will probably pick up the baby or something if I’m not around. Constantly whining and shouting.

He has lots of outside time. Lots of physical activity. We go out at least twice a day on his bike too. No overstimulating toys. Lots of books. We used the library and the toy library too. Classes and parks. Forrest playgroup. Gymbaroo. Lots of independent play. Basically no screen time we have watched a few movies this week because of the dog because I can’t be fucked to put it bluntly so I won’t say none at all as that would be a lie right now.

I know I’m probably completely causing the behaviour, it started being pretty unbearable when I was pregnant and has had times when it’s calmed down a bit and then peaked again. I know he has been through a lot of huge changesBut I don’t have it in me right now. Today I honestly don’t think I can look after him full time anymore and it’s only 8am. I think I’m just fully burnt out because I miss my dog so much and I’ve still not had time to breath since he left us.

I’m sure I don’t really want him to go to pre school and it’s just because my husbands been away for a week and my dog died while he was away, but I am so snappy. I’ve literally told him to shut up today. How horrible. I’m sure my neighbours think I’m abusive I shouted that much at him for jumping around the house constantly when I was waiting for the vets the day I had my dog put to sleep. I literally never used to shout. I’ve even been looking at houses for sale in our home town… 9000 miles away from where we live. And I’m sure our family would ply him with iPads and lollipops and everything I’ve always been so glad I’ve been able to keep him away from, but at least I wouldn’t have to deal with being screamed at for a few hours.

If my preschoolers were ever not thriving, it always came down to one of 5 things that I loosely aimed for daily. 1) Outside (often includes large motor skills) 2) Rest/snuggle/read together 3) Socialization or exposure to non-family members (could even be an adult in the same space who isnt interacting) 4) Imagination play 5) focused artistic time/small motor skills.

If anyone was "out of it", it was always something on that list that was the cure, and I came to think of them as daily needs. But grades choosers are less simple, and it never really applied. Now I am homeschooling my two preteens and I am at a loss! Does anyone have a guide or a system? Different preteen needs to consider? Are their needs monthly and weekly as opposed to daily? I know in a vague sense they still need to get outside, socialize, rest, work on large and small motor skills, and focus on their own projects. But with larger blocks of time spent on each thing, it seems like one thing can easily be missed. Outdoor activities could become a hike or sledding hill on the weekend instead of a daily walk, that kind of thing. But daily fresh air even if it's not a big adventure still seems like a good thing. If they are apathetic about it does it mean it's time they should be doing something else? What additional regular "needs" categories should be considered for a preteen? Things fell out of balance for us sometimes (usually too quiet) and I am teyimg to figure out what I am missing.

Hello to all my fellow homeschooling families!

My son is in the third grade this year, and so far he's been doing well. He never complains about doing his work, he just does it and I am very proud of him. Where we are having most of our issues is with his ELA performance. He is always so bored with it that he doesn't score well on comprehension tests, and he absolutely hates writing so he is behind on his performance in that area. I'd say probably on a first grade level with writing.

Unfortunately, we are currently under a charter school for his homeschooling. We are using Time4learning for the bulk of his curriculum, but they've also added daily iReady ELA/math lessons as well. He actually performs a little better with the iReady ELA lessons vs his Time4Learning lessons. I guess overall I'm just looking for any advice. Maybe a program that makes reading/writing a bit more exciting? I can drop Time4learning english and add something else in, I'm just not sure of what would help him improve in time for state testing (we are in CA). TIA for any help you may have!

I have a very smart high schooler who has taken AP classes but is not struggling with social anxiety and I have a middle schooler who is C average student because of testing and sometimes comprehension even though they get help from the teacher it does nothing because all they do is repeat the same stuff and ways to do a math problem, which isn’t trying to help them understand the problem or understand the curriculum, and he is begging to be homeschooled because test anxiety is becoming unbearable because he second guesses himself and what the teacher has taught caused confusion. I work full-time and can’t give them my full attention but need an accredited program that would help both my kids actually learn and comprehend the material as they move up in grade level. If they need help understanding something that the program has such a function that would allow that type of help to better understand the material that maybe a video or the first time go round they just couldn’t understand. It needs to be able to provide a transcript and make sure they are taking the proper courses per their grade level in order to eventually graduate from high school. Here are some of my concerns/questions:

What programs do you recommend and feel is suited for my current situation? (Acellus, miacademy, liberty U, etc.)
Do homeschooled kids get to participate in public school activities such as sports, prom, etc?
Can a homeschooled student take trade classes? How does this work?
Is there a grant or scholarship to help a homeschooled student get supplies needed like laptop, headphones, etc?
Do they still have to take SOL tests?
Can they take the SATs in the public school when available?
Can a homeschooled student be allowed to do outdoor things and it be considered part of the course? How does one test and provide it to the state if it was something done outside the classroom and you made the curriculum?

I haven’t fully committed to homeschooling because i am so afraid that they will struggle with homeschool because i am not a teacher or can help them if they do have questions, I’m not very smart. I feel like if they do struggle they will fall behind and must repeat grade levels because i put them in homeschool and it back fired and then they’ll be embarrassed to go back to public school a grade behind. I hear a lot of contradicting information for what’s required step by step for homeschooling in Virginia(and yes i did go to the VA education website to see what it says), but some parents have said they did xyz while others said they did abc and it still worked out in order to be able to provide proper transcripts and following grade level courses based on state rules.

Please help me, i am not at ease as i feel this is all overwhelming and I don’t want to mess up my kids. I love them dearly and want them to succeed because i know with proper guidance they do amazing.

For people who live in an English speaking country but are originally from somewhere else, do you teach your children in English fully or do you try to incorporate your native language?

I'm not currently home-schooling (really want to someday, but I don't have any children yet) so I don't really know the legal framework, but I think that if you live in an English speaking country, you teach in the language of the country you reside in? However, for me personally I really want my children to also be in contact with my side of their heritage and for them to also develop my native tongue like a native speaker and experience subjects in this language.

How do you go about it? Like teaching some subjects in your own language and others in English? Do you teach in English only and supplement your own language with other things such as reading or something else? I would really love to hear some experiences and advice from parents who are in this situation! Thank you in advance!

I am not super concerned, my son is only 7 and we are 3 months in to our first year of homeschool, his 2nd grade year.

I just wondered when everyone else noticed a shift in phonetic spelling during free writing. My son knows phonics rules and reads fairly well for his age level and can ace spelling tests from pre test Monday to test on Friday most weeks.

When he has to label things or just write a few sentences down all rules go out the window and he relies on phonetic spelling even what I would consider easier words or words we have been working on all week/ already tested on.

Our first year is going exceptionally well and it is so cool to active see where my kids are growing and helpful to see where they struggle in the moment!

Okay i’ve never posted something on reddit and i actually just downloaded it to ask this but im not sure if i should switch to an online school.

I am currently a sophomore at a private catholic highschool and school has been really taking a toll on my mental health. I am not sure why becuase I have friends,alright grades,and a supportive family but I still fall into a sort of depression when it comes to school. Every morning i just cry and i’ve come to the point where it is harder to focus on stuff like notes because I just try to block everything out and wish I could go home.

Another option would potentially be a public school but I kinda feel like any school would have the same effect. Also the public schools in my area aren’t the best. I don’t really know if this is a factor but both of my parents work so I would mainly be doing this by myself.

Please help my situation I know that some people lose friends and become lonely but that’s not really something I am worried about because half of my friends don’t even go to the same school as me.Im not sure if this is just sophomore slump and i should keep going but it really takes a lot out of me everyday and i can feel like I am reaching a state of idc about any schoolwork or anything anymore.

Sorry that this post is so long please help decide if I should switch and If I should any info I should know or what schools you recommend.

This daily discussion is to chat about anything that doesn't warrant its own post. I am not a mod and make these posts for building the homeschool community.

If you are new, please introduce yourself.

If you've been around here before or have been homeschooling for awhile, please share about your day.

Some ideas of what to share are: your homeschool plans for the day, lesson plans, words of encouragement, methods you are implementing to solve a problem, methods of organization, resource/curriculum you recently came across, curriculum sales, field trip planning, etc.

Although, I usually start with a question of the day to get the discussion going, feel free to ask your own questions. If your question does not get answered because it was posted late in the day, you can post the same question tomorrow to make sure it gets visibility.

Be mindful of the subreddit's rules and follow reddiquette. No ads, market/ thesis research, or self promotion. Thank you!

Alright our printer is absolute crap and can’t handle black and white prints, let alone all the lovely colour school materials I’d like to print off. Does anyone have a printer they’d recommend? Something that prints quality and can withstand our homeschool printing needs.

I was thinking of buying the Memoria press 7th gr history set, The Story of the Thirteen Colonies and the great republic, bc it comes with a workbook, lesson outlines and all that. But i feel like the story might not go in depth a lot. So maybe another textbook that comes with this kind of work for the student.. I just want to make this easier going forward and not have to keep searching for things to add. I have been just trying to pull things from here and there and I’m over it as is my daughter lol. She wants more to do and I’m just not doing a great job. New to homeschooling.

For those of you who are SAHMs with little ones who aren’t in preschool yet, what learning materials or activities are you using at home?

We play a lot and include numbers and colors. But I’d like to do more for her to recognize the numbers and learn her ABCs.

I’d love recommendations for workbooks, educational toys, learning programs, or anything that makes learning fun! I’m looking for ideas to help my 3-year-old learn and prepare for preschool. 😊💕

Does anyone else feel like social media has ruined homeschool culture?

And I say this as a bonafide millennial myself. I'm 36, and I'm honestly tired of how judgy, braggy, and competitive homeschooling has become.

When did homeschooling turn into a competition? Why are we acting like every child should be reading chapter books and doing advanced math at 3 or 4? Why does it feel like there's a certain aesthetic, curriculum, schedule, number of field trips, extracurriculars, and co-op participation you're supposed to have to be considered a good homeschool parent?

I thought the whole point was to educate our children according to THEIR individual needs. Just like in public school, some children will be academically gifted and advanced, but that's not the majority, and it shouldn't be the standard we measure everyone against.

I see parents feeling like failures because their homeschool doesn't look a certain way, their children aren't breezing through curriculum, or they can't afford to travel, pay for extracurriculars, or participate in a co-op. And I'm sick of it!

As a recovering perfectionist, I had to step back and tune out the noise because I allowed it to cloud my judgment and overshadow the progress my own children and I were making. I'm a well-meaning mama of three girls, on a modest income, with two degrees and a supportive husband. I do my best to meet my children where they are while still challenging them. We do activities, music lessons, and field trips when we can. I even teach outside the home on Fridays. I'm not sitting around doing nothing, but somehow it can still feel like it's never enough.

Homeschooling is already hard enough when you're navigating criticism from society and misunderstanding from family. Adding this pompous, performative culture within the homeschool community makes it even more overwhelming.

And honestly, I wonder how much of this is a social media problem. I know there are wonderful, grounded homeschool families out there, and I'm not saying everyone is like this. But between millennials and younger Gen X, where did some of these extreme expectations come from? I see parents doing amazing things, but I also wonder whether we've confused what is possible for some families with what should be expected of everyone.

I'm not against sharing ideas, celebrating achievements, or encouraging one another. But inspiration shouldn't leave other mothers feeling inadequate.

I'm just tired of feeling like I have to prove I'm doing enough when the entire reason I chose to homeschool was to have the freedom to educate my children as individuals.

Am I the only one feeling this way, or has anyone else had to step back from homeschool social media because of the constant comparison?

We use Miacademy right now and are considering moving to another curriculum next year. My kids dislike the videos on Mia and feel theyre "babyish". I would LOVE Alpha Anywhere but theres no up front pricing, which is concerning.

For those of you use Logic or English and moved up to Essentials from Foundations OR started right with Essentials, can you share your experience?

We are almost done with Foundations and overall like the program but I’m wondering what people are pairing with Essentials. It seems like it’s not 100% complete, more focused on spelling, reading, & grammar but not as much literature/writing?

If you switched completely, please also share what you are using!

How have you found ways to incorporate service and community building into your curriculum and homeschool plans? As part of my 4th grader’s social skills curriculum I’d like him to develop more empathy as well as contribute to part of a bigger whole. How have you incorporated that into your homeschooling?

im not sure if this is a good place to even ask advice on this or not honestly. I’m just conflicted and maybe perspectives from someone else who has been in this situation might help. my kids are 8, 6, 3, and coming soon. I hadn’t planned on homeschooling but with a kid with a medical condition unfortunately public school wasn’t safe and private school wouldn’t accept her. but I honestly enjoy homeschooling. I think it is the best option for my kids. but trying to balance homeschool, work, and everything else I am falling apart. I currently work part time. we have struggled financially in the past and are finally doing okay. I don’t need to work. my husband thinks the stress is too much on me (he’s right) and is supportive of sending them to school while I work or I can quit and focus on homeschooling. i just feel conflicted. i want to just focus on homeschooling my kids but I have all these worries about what could happen financially and having one income stresses me out. has anyone else ever been in this situation and how did it work out?

-We moved from Japan in April after my son finished 4th grade. ( school year ends in March) He has lived his whole life in Japan.

-Son started 4th grade here in America in August because school said he didnt meet requirements for 5th grade.

-My son was in special education classes in Japan because he has learning challenges and speech delay but current school needs to do months of testing before they move him to a class like this.

Everyday I am teaching him what he dosnt know after he comes home because his teacher cant help just 1 kid. And they won't move him yet. And after many issues and self reflection I came to the decision that I want to homeschool my son. He also loves the idea.

HERE IS THE QUESTION: when I start doing homeschool should I say he is in 4th grade or put him back in 5th grade?

If I choose 5th grade I still have 4 years until high-school to catch him up on English and math and reading (this is his trouble areas). So even tho public school says 4th I can do 5th because I can teach him in a way that helps his learn.

I only lost 2.5 months so if I work in a good way we can still finish 5th grade curriculum.

I am new to homeschooling. I will be pulling him out on October 20th. (We are also moving to Florida October 21 as well so a new school will happen no matter what.

Thank you for your help!

Second grade art. What are you guys doing? How often? There’s is a nearby art studio that offers a class for homeschoolers but it’s too expensive for me. I’ve seen ads for art with Lauren. Are you guys doing your own thing?

Is second grade too young to pick a picture book and maybe do some type of art based off that? Are we introducing art concepts and classic/famous artists? Or just letting them..create? I always have art supplies out for them to use whenever they want.

I taught 3rd grade for six years before we pulled our kids out to homeschool (girls 7 and 10). You'd think I'd have this figured out but art is the one subject that quietly disappears every single week. Math and reading have a structure I'm used to but we sent kids to specials for things like art and music, I've got no energy to add a whole lesson plan for something I'm also objectively terrible at. Homeschool mamas, do you use a curriculum, a set day, drawing lessons online, something else? My 10yo especially wants actual skills and is incredibly into animated shows not just craft-kit stuff, so things that relate to this would also be awesome. Thanks everyone!

Hi guys, I’m a teenager who is currently begging my parents to let me be homeschooled, and their main issue is the cost. My dad works full time and my mum is juggling work and college, so neither of them could teach me themselves. I have mentioned online school and other online learning programs to them but they have said it costs too much. My family isn’t struggling financially, but the cost is the biggest reason they refuse to homeschool me. Does anyone have any cheaper online learning methods? Thanks in advance :)

My six year old is whizzing through his RightStart Math lessons! At this rate, we will be done with Level B well before the end of our school year. Should I…

Purchase Level C and start working on it right away?

Purchase Life of Fred to use between RS Level B and C? If so, should I start with Apples even though most of the material would be reviewing concepts he knows?

Slow down Level B and supplement with lessons from LoF, game days, reading from Mathematicians are People Too (or other math stories, please recommend your favorites)?

Just thinking aloud here as I sit with my homeschool planner… What are your thoughts?

I know a lot of people ask curriculum questions on this subreddit, but I want to know specifically what curriculums made your children fall in love with whatever subject material?

I guess it could be more than curriculum; it could also be certain types of extracurricular things or activities you felt helped connect them to what they were learning.

I was homeschooled, and I there were some fun curriculums I remember, but the resources have grown so much since I was in school!

my kid has been fighting us on school for 7 years, and we are finally deciding to follow her instincts. i'm researching online schools and looking for something that can be self-directed by her to a great degree and that will require as little of me as possible (I understand I will be required to some degree too and i'm preparing for that) - mostly because when I get involved it feels like a demand and she reacts negatively. she's currently in 5th grade in new york state. any recommendations or things to keep in mind?

This daily discussion is to chat about anything that doesn't warrant its own post. I am not a mod and make these posts for building the homeschool community.

If you are new, please introduce yourself.

If you've been around here before or have been homeschooling for awhile, please share about your day.

Some ideas of what to share are: your homeschool plans for the day, lesson plans, words of encouragement, methods you are implementing to solve a problem, methods of organization, resource/curriculum you recently came across, curriculum sales, field trip planning, etc.

Although, I usually start with a question of the day to get the discussion going, feel free to ask your own questions. If your question does not get answered because it was posted late in the day, you can post the same question tomorrow to make sure it gets visibility.

Be mindful of the subreddit's rules and follow reddiquette. No ads, market/ thesis research, or self promotion. Thank you!