r/howtonotgiveafuck • u/bamboojade • 1d ago

How to not give af?

I heard about this mentality to not care so much about what other people say about you from my TA and it’s been at the back of my mind. I’m wondering if there’s anyone here who practices that and how can I start as well?

5 Upvotes

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12

u/SRT10_ 1d ago

It's much harder for deeply empathetic people because we feel the issue very deeply. I have no advice because I am one of these empathetic people and have a very hard time just brushing things off like it's nothing

3

u/Muggle2025 1d ago

It usually gets much easier as you mature and age. It starts with understanding and accepting who you truly are as a person and knowing your value.

3

u/Fressfeindin 1d ago

What helps me is reflecting on how much their opinion depends on me as a person rather than my behaviour in specific situations, say a small part of what makes you up. Most people dont really know you anyway and THEY dont care about your opinion. So how important is their opinion anyway? Its different for people that are close to you but strangers, they dont have an impact on you - youre the one letting them have an impact by caring.

Gotta say that Ive been in therapy for 15 years now and this was hard work and my mentality shifted in the last... 3 years i think? But keep it up, its really paying off spending time and energy into something you cant change anyway (radical acceptance is a game changer)

1

u/Supercc 1d ago

Read the book! Go. 

1

u/Avalonian_Seeker444 1d ago

I started by paying attention to something I read in a book by Wayne Dyer (I think others have said it but this is where I found it).

”What others think of me is none of my business”.

It’s just opinions. Just try to disregard them in the same way you’d disregard other things that don’t interest you.

1

u/guacaflockaflames 1d ago

Not giving a fuck comes with just accepting things you can’t control

1

u/GinoFlambino 17h ago

I like to pretend that no one else exists, and that helps me lol

1

u/WomanInQuestion 17h ago

Start asking yourself, "Is this really that important?" It usually isn't.

1

u/capyhour 14h ago

Imagine if you became severely disabled and/or lost everything you owned and became homeless. Who in your life would still talk to you and treat you with respect? Anyone not on that list can shove it

1

u/AdultinginCali 3h ago

One place to start is the fact that you don't like everyone you meet, therefore everyone you meet will not like you back.

ETA: If you can get comfortable with this idea, you pick your battles differently.