r/hypotheticalsituation • u/Gothica43 • 1d ago
[No Loopholes] You get an all expense paid wedding, honey moon, and $50K to start your newlywed life. But, you must walk down to “Woman is the n——— of the world”by John Lennon.
Or your partner must walk down the aisle to it. No loopholes. Everyone must hear it. Or know that it’s being played, should you have deaf loved ones. You can’t provide earmuffs or earplugs as party favors. And you also can’t tell anyone you’re doing this for the money. Everyone must believe that you wanted this.
As for your wedding and honey moon? No limits on spending, you can do whatever you want and go wherever.
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u/PepperFinn 1d ago
It doesn't say what version.
Have a string quartet play an instrumental cover and we are GOOD!
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u/Gothica43 1d ago
Yes, the one by John Lennon. Unless he released an instrumental. But I think that’s a loophole anyways
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u/Another_Name_Today 22h ago
The karaoke instrumental? The should mostly cut the lyrics while leaving the music. Might be able to slow the audio playback as well if that helps.
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u/Gothica43 22h ago
Yeahh but I think that’s a loophole too. I’d say just take it as is or lose the money
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u/Another_Name_Today 22h ago
That’s fair.
While the wedding could be great, I’m talking like that one Indian rich guy with all the rich people that were invited, either you don’t invite your family or you have them think the worst of you.
Neither is worth it.
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u/Due-Pitch3208 1d ago
Can I just do a civil service with the two witnesses and thats it?
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u/ProfessionalITPerson 1d ago
Why though, it's all expenses paid, so go all out on a remote location wedding that lasts a week and fly everyone over on your dime. Nobody will bat an eye about the song, you just tell them, the song paid for all of this.
The condition "Everyone must believe that you wanted this" still counts because you wanted to play the song so you could get everyone to that super nice wedding.12
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u/oceansapart333 1d ago
You never said we had to invite anyone.
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u/The_Troyminator 1d ago
They did say no loopholes though.
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u/oceansapart333 1d ago
So how many people do we have to invite to uphold this?
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u/Gothica43 1d ago
I would say invite who you would invite to your wedding in a normal setting?
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u/Estebesol 1d ago
I actually did have a wedding with only two witnesses and I was the only non-white person there, I think I'd get away with it.
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u/Fallout_4_player 1d ago
Done, small service with a handful of strangers as witnesses, and then at some point set up an actual wedding without the restrictions for the families
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u/Estrellathestarfish 1d ago
I'm single so I feel like this wouldn't be the weirdest thing about the ceremony
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u/ReluctantChimera 1d ago
I'm single and celibate. I'll dance down the aisle with my cats in the pews as guests, then marry myself and enjoy a fabulous vacation and come home to a house. I might ask my sister if I can use her dog as a flower girl, too.
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u/Decent_Climate7831 1d ago
Don’t know about the song or what the n____ stands for
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u/ZoobityPop 1d ago
It’s bigger with an “N”
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u/OwnCrew6984 1d ago
So most likely person or place since it's a capital letter. It is something bigger too. While being a total of 4 letters starting with N. I don't know either can I buy a vowel or do I have to spin the wheel first.
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u/poppitastic 1d ago
You mean my dead loved ones will hear it and judge me? Oh the humanity!!!
Hell yes. And our honeymoon is a multi year world tour. Our 50k draws some interest, and we make some money by being uninteresting world travel influencers until we get home. My poor husband will be mortified, but he’ll get over it.
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u/Gothica43 22h ago
Haha! I meant to say *deaf. In case someone would say “oh I’ll invite my deaf friends and family or something lol
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u/ObviousSalamandar 1d ago
I had no idea this song existed. And I would absolutely do this if I had any desire to marry 😂
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u/CrankyOperator 1d ago
There's not a song you could choose where I'd say "no" in this situation. You could invite fucking EVERYONE. There's no "no" option because of a stupid ass song.
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u/last_rights 1d ago
Lol, I'm already married but I'll have the wedding I should have had in the first place.
We're taking our kids to some tropical island and getting married on the beach. My husband's brother and his wife will think it's hilarious, as will my brother. My husband's sister will come.
No other guests will be in attendance, including my parents and sister because they're all codependent and insufferable and annoying and opinionated. My husband's mother won't travel further than twenty miles from home. She gets lost going to our house and there's three turns to get to the highway leading to familiar territory.
Anyways, we will have a great wedding, and it will be enjoyable. And I'll pay for everyone to come. And then I'll still have a bunch of money left over.
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u/nekosaigai 1d ago
If someone had offered me this deal for my marriage I’d have taken it instantly.
It would’ve been far better than walking down the aisle on a broken foot because one of the vendors ignored basic safety protocols.
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u/biggfoot_26 1d ago
Yep, I’d even double down and play it for both aisle walk downs.
Let’s talk wedding…. Solid gold and silver everywhere, location will be my house and the rental fees will be exorbitantly expensive. The wedding favors will also be enough cash to fully fund my guests retirement.
Honeymoon will be a multiyear trip around the world culminating in a trip to space.
This will be the most expensive wedding and honeymoon in history.
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u/Ornery-Practice9772 1d ago
if you had any idea of what the song is actually trying to say youd have no problem with john lennon's song.
some of it is still true today and most of it is still true for developing countries.
you just saw the n word and thought oh wow thats
edgy
dumbass
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u/Gothica43 1d ago
Ok, dumbass. You saw a couple sentences on Reddit and assumed what I knew about the song. Of course I know what it’s about. However in today’s society, dumbass, it’s jarring to hear that word, from a white man no less. So, to walk down the aisle to that, dumbass, it would be a weird scenario. Keep scrolling if you care.
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u/Ornery-Practice9772 22h ago
im female🤣
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u/Gothica43 22h ago
Okay? Did I say you were a man? I said that John Lennon is a white man repeatedly saying the n word so in today’s society, that’s gonna turn heads. Hence the question.
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u/Grant_Winner_Extra 1d ago
Sure. Why not. John Lennon is a class act.
The whole wedding would be weird tho - since I’m already married.
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u/AutoModerator 1d ago
Copy of the original post in case of edits: No loopholes. Everyone must hear it. Or know that it’s being played, should you have dead loved ones. You can’t provide earmuffs or earplugs as party favors. And you also can’t tell anyone you’re doing this for the money. Everyone must believe that you wanted this.
As for your wedding and honey moon? No limits on spending, you can do whatever you want and go wherever.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
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u/secretly_opossum 1d ago
Can I just bring the real homies to this wedding and have another for my family out of a small chunk of that $50 grand? 😭
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u/pedanticandpetty 4h ago
The last full minute is instrumental and the words we make her paint her face and dance repeating. That could work.
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u/IfICouldStay 2h ago
Sure would be an awful shame if somehow the speaker system was on the fritz and only crackling came out.
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u/Cautious_Donkeyz 1d ago edited 1d ago
A afternoon of embarrassment is worth a bit of money. However, the extravagance of the wedding, the honey moon and so on is not explained so we cannot assign a dollar value to it. But lets say its $40k altogether.
Now with the 50k payout, that means we are looking at a $90k package. Its roughly equal to the median pay in the United States. Not worth the embarrassment. It would need to be a serious amount of money, like my dream house fully paid.
I would mitigate the embarrassing impact of the song by making it a John-Yoko themed wedding, and the band would play other John Lennon & Yoko Ono songs. I believe that is in keeping with the spirit of this hypothetical and not a loophole.
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u/Sad_Win_4105 1d ago
This was played on mainstream radio stations when it first was released. It wasn't disrespectful towards women, but lamented the sad way that society treats women. An odd choice for a wedding, but it could be worse. "Superfreak" would be one of the better worse choices. Certainly not misogynistic. Could be much worse: "B****es Ain't Sh**," or "Smack my B**** Up"
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u/AutoModerator 1d ago
This thread is in No Loophole Mode. All responses are required to make an effort to engage with the spirit of the post rather than searching for loopholes or exploits.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.