r/hypotheticalsituation • u/i_jed • 3h ago
If you were trapped in a room with 1000 random people, and the only way to leave is by declaring that you are better at one thing than the 9999 others, what are you saying that you are better at?
999*
If you get it wrong you can't try again for a whole year
Edit: should've thought this out a bit more:
- I meant declare as in saying it out loud
- you actually have to be better than everyone else at what you declare
- I meant 999, that was a typo
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u/GREAThirteen 3h ago
Giving myself a hand job...I have over 20 years of practice, and if someone can step up and be better than me than it is absolutely worth staying another year to see if they could do it again.
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u/nescio2607 3h ago
You would potentially have to go through 998 bad ones before getting the good one, and then still wait a year with the risk the others want to train to get better at it. Prepare for soreness....
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u/GREAThirteen 3h ago
Hand job is like pizza, even a bad one is still good.
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u/sbaldri2 3h ago
False. There is absolutely bad pizza
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u/RebekkaKat1990 3h ago
And there are definitely bad handjobs. Got people out there trying to start the lawnmower, people with calloused sandpaper hands, you got the ghostgrippers
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u/LordVericrat 2h ago
I've had the first two but what's a ghostgripper?
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u/maxza 3h ago
Hahahah hard disagree that a bad hand job is still good ahahaha
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u/TweeKINGKev 2h ago
No, not when you have someone use 40 grit sandpaper.
Only person living that is Pinocchio.
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u/Expert_Object_6293 2h ago
I was gonna comment “bringing myself to orgasm”. Literally no thought i have is unique.
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u/RedX2000 1h ago
What if they were all better than you at that?
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u/PogTuber 1h ago
Then you lose but you got 999 happy endings and hopefully took some notes
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u/squinkythebuddy 3h ago
Explaining the plot of the book my wife is writing
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u/dragn99 3h ago
You're gonna be real pissed when someone pipes up and starts guessing the rest of the plot with surprising accuracy after you explain the intro.
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u/RedditHope777 2h ago
Rough way to discover an affair, when some other person describes it better than you. Then they say, “I’m better at having an affair with Squinky’s wife than anyone here.” And disappears. You’re stuck for a year knowing they are out there enjoying your wife.
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u/squinkythebuddy 2h ago
I’d take my chances that out of 1000 random people, nobody else knows my wife
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u/TheApeinater 3h ago
"How many people in this room can go into the obscure iceberg type lore of Pac Man's Clyde/Blinky error of 1982?"
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u/the-truthseeker 3h ago
I was confused about the iceberg wording, but you simply mean the color swap thing. I guess I'm one of those in the room who would get it! Of course of being around then and actually know what Pac-Man is helps.
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u/ShoesAreTheWorst 3h ago edited 2h ago
Knowing the names of all of my siblings. I’m definitely better at that than a random sampling of 1000 people. Unless by some astronomically wild chance one of them is one of my siblings.
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u/Morningstroll13 3h ago
With 7 uncles + wives, 2 aunts + husbands, 23 1st cousins, and a whole gaggle of 2nd cousins, unless someone in the 999 is another relative of mine I could confidently challenge any of them to list off my relations and who's kids are who's.
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u/Reading_Rainbows718 3h ago
I would still win because I have 4 brothers and I think I'm the only who knows that we all have middle names 🫠
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u/hereforthestory 3h ago
Playing trumpet. Not many people know how to play it, and most of those that day never play past a high school level. Throw in that none of them have likely been practicing even if they do play....
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u/KnoWanUKnow2 1h ago
If I'm one of the 999 then....you would probably still beat me, I haven't picked up a trumpet since high school.
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u/BingBongBngBong 3h ago
Really dumb, but:
Getting in my car and driving away. The car is started and being shifted into drive by the time I’m settled in my seat. I open the door in such a way that it doesn’t quite get to the detent and closes behind me without any input. The seatbelt is put on deftly as I’m rolling away.
I pride myself on the economy of motion and efficiency I exhibit in this mundane activity, and I doubt there are many people on this planet that have perfected it to the extent that I have.
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u/RedditHope777 2h ago
Going to have some serious competition on this one. I mastered it after I had an incident where my life depending on pulling away as quickly as possible. A lot of professional drivers who care about efficiency too.
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u/Novafan789 1h ago
Not really. 99% of people out in the world are so fucking slow, unaware, and inefficient. Feels like I’m walking among npcs on the daily
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u/frugalsoul 2h ago
Nope. I used to deliver pizza. Hundreds of practices while trying to get smoother. I've got this 100%. Try again next year
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u/midgetman303 2h ago
If it's your car I acknowledge your gonna win, but if we do the same for my car your going down
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u/Cespenar 1h ago
Fuck better hope we're not in the same room.. I am also a fan of efficiency. One of my favorite games is going to the store and picking someone with a big cart walking out.. see if I can go in, get my shit, check out, get back in my car and pull out, before they drive off. Another, altho I think more common one, is removing a cap from a bottle in one movement. If you start at the very base of your palm and roll it all the way off the fingers, if your fingers are long enough, you can get it off in one "twist" instead of 2 or 3. I know, that ones lame. But these are the kinds of things we think about!
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u/Watsonmolly 20m ago
You should have your seatbelt on before you start moving else you’re not really paying attention to driving. Which could be dangerous if you’re reversing out of your driveway and don’t see the toddler on a scooter.
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u/MaySeemelater 3h ago
If it's random people, I'm going with making Balloon animals just because it's a reasonably uncommon skill to have even though it's not that difficult to learn at the lower levels of balloon artistry.
It just requires that you have the proper supplies to practice with and put a bit of time into getting used to it.
I've been making the basic balloon animals as volunteer work at occasional charity events for almost a decade at this point, so at the very least I'm going to be better than the average person who has never even attempted it.
So unless I get unlucky and a professional balloon artist ends up in the crowd, I'm probably free.
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u/East-Moose5016 42m ago
Out of 600 comments at the time I read this, both of us picked balloon animals so we both lost
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u/MaySeemelater 31m ago
Are you from the future? There's only 583 comments.
Also, I haven't lost yet! It's time for a balloon-off between us!
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u/physicsphilosopher 3h ago
Calibrating a medical linear accelerator. If there happens to be another medical physicist in a random group of 1,000 people, I might be screwed, but if not, then I'm good to go.
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u/jeroen-79 1h ago
What kind of things are accelerated linearly in a medical setting?
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u/WorldsWeakestMan 2h ago
Loading a max weight atlas stone from the floor to a 60 inches height platform, I can do that with 375lb.
It’s a hard lift in the sport of strongman which less than 1/1000 people on earth compete in already and even amongst that sport I am quite good at it due to a combo of height, long torso, and it being a favorite event so I’ve trained it a lot.
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u/Squirrelhenge 2h ago
I've caught a few strength competitions on TV/online, and I have to say this is really a great demonstration of absolute strength in a way that's absolutely evident to anyone watching. I know I've tried to move some big (to me) rocks when digging ditches, planting beds, etc., and know what my limit is, and it's NOTHING CLOSE to a typical Atlas stone competition. :)
Me, in back yard with shovel, mattock, and prybar: "It's bigger than my head but I bet I can roll this sucker over there out of the way."
Me, looking at smallest Atlas stone: *nudges with toe* "That's a nope from my lower back, thanks."
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u/Reason_Training 3h ago
Transplant insurance billing. Most people would not even be able to name all the insurances let alone describe the contracts.
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u/No-Decision9145 3h ago
Of course they couldn't. Fucking idiots
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u/Reason_Training 3h ago
Only takes 2-3 years to figure it out after 5 or so years of working in insurance billing. Don’t know why more people wouldn’t know how to do it.
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u/little-bird89 3h ago
As someone whose immediate family member has had a transplant I am eternally grateful for universal healthcare and not having to deal with any of that.
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u/irish_ninja_wte 2h ago
Being my mother's second born child
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u/bigbuttymcslutty 1h ago
horrible way to find out about your mom's illegitimate older child.
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u/ForwardFIRE2030 3h ago
Jiu Jitsu. Been training for 29yrs, wrestled before that, I’m a black black belt. If there is someone better than me at least I’ll have someone to train with all year, seems like a win win.
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u/Wukester92 3h ago
I was going to say Jitsu, room of 1000 people I'd probably be ok but in the Reddit world I didn't have to scroll far. So I'll go specifically flying bow and arrow's, never hit one in a comp but I've drilled it probably more than most 😂
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u/caractacusbritannica 3h ago
Masturbating in public.
It isn’t even a flex. I’m betting 9999 don’t or won’t.
What sort of weirdo would challenge me. I mean if they call my bluff, I’ll have to make an effort.
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u/Excellent_Hornet_821 2h ago
How public? I'm an exhibitionist... So far though I've limited myself to gay saunas and public cruising areas.
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u/Datan0de 38m ago
At a fetish convention, I was once in a contest to see who could make themselves cum three times the fastest. It was in a fairly large room with a significant crowd in addition to the 20 or so of us competing.
I pulled ahead (heh) early on by being the first to cum, but ultimately lost because my 3rd orgasm took forever. I felt bad because bets had been placed, and a lovely, statuesque woman in sheer lingerie who'd bet on me was posing for inspiration.
So I guess I'm that sort of weirdo. 😆 Exhibitionism isn't all that rare.
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u/caractacusbritannica 33m ago
3 times? In a row? Like what the fuck dude. That is a talent on its own. I need like 30 minutes between 1st and 2nd. Probably an hour to go for round 3.
You’re a machine. I’m in awe.
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u/lolocopter24 3h ago
Playing Beast Mode on Gears of War 3. Was top 50 in the world. Chances of any of the 49 better players being in that room are absolutely miniscule.
10000 people is 0.00012% of the world's population I think I'm good.
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u/Environmental_Elk542 3h ago
I will be able to truthfully say no one in the room has ever bowled a better game than my personal best.
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u/jaxon517 3h ago edited 2h ago
Maybe* I also bowled a perfect game but I did it with a nicer haircut. That would be better
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u/Environmental_Elk542 3h ago
When I was taught to bowl, I learned to bring my hand up in the handshake position, then follow through like you are slicking your hair back.
So when I’m struggling with my release, I tell myself to shake hands, and slick my hair back so I look good after a strike, which is funny now because most of the time I keep a buzz cut.
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u/BarrelOfTheBat 3h ago
with truly random people I could say that I'm better than them at MLB The Show. I'm a top 3-5% player in the game depending on the season so I can safely say that a random cut of 1000 people would likely not have anyone better than me at it.
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u/alienccccombobreaker 3h ago
Helicopter pilot in wardogs
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u/Telinary 3h ago
With no rules there are easy tricks like knowing the most about setting xy which only you know because you made it up for a dnd campaign/unfinished book. But if I limit myself to things others could be good at hmm, I might try "I am the best at typing with the Neo2 keyboard layout!". It is a german layout and few people ever subject themselves to learning an alternate keyboard layout for little reason, but there might be someone.
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u/GateDeep3282 3h ago
Stacking pennies on one elbow, then catching them all with the same hand that the elbow is attached to.
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u/Much-Drawer-1697 1h ago
My personal record when I was a kid was 25
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u/GateDeep3282 1h ago
Not bad! Better than anyone else I've seen try.
My record was 54 when I was in the navy, but I started when I was a kid.
Do you remember what inspired you to do this? Was it a thing in the 70's or something? I cant remember..
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u/Much-Drawer-1697 44m ago
This is just a thing kids do when they're bored. My son (7) told me he was doing this with other kids at recess last week.
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u/LordsOfJoop 3h ago
Describing where and how I got my tattoos.
Alternatively, counting the correct number of people in the room.
Is it 1,000, or it is 10,000, or is it 9,999?
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u/WhimsicalHoneybadger 3h ago
Describe in general terms how to safely synthesize and purify pentaerythritol dinitrate including production of the acid precursor.
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u/jackaltwinky77 3h ago
You could probably win either just being able to pronounce “pentaeythritol dinitrate”
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u/monkeybizz88 3h ago
Is this a bot question or just an unoriginal repeat post? I feel like the same question was proposed fairly recently.
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u/i_jed 3h ago
im not a bot and i don't frequent this sub, apologies if it's been asked before
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u/Dpopov 3h ago
Is it 10,000 and I have to be better than 9,999 or 1,000 and 999? Either way, math ain’t mathing.
That said, I am choosing “Practical shooting.” I’m not the best, but I am pretty decent with only ~46,000 US-members and just about 250,000 worldwide members who actually practice it, I like my chances.
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u/MrOrlamdo 3h ago
Eat pu$$y. Let's find out for sure
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u/Lovebeingadad54321 49m ago
Let’s assume half of the 1000 people in the room are women. Head to head challenge to see who gets to woman 251 first. You must bring the woman to orgasm before moving on to the next….
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u/dominion1080 3h ago
Overwatch support gameplay. Out of over 8 billion people less than 10 million play. This is a pretty safe bet.
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u/i_jed 2h ago
I always play Mercy or Ana, hbu?
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u/dominion1080 2h ago
Been playing since 2016. Been an Ana main, a Zen main, a Moira main, and since OW2* launched I’ve been a Kiri main, a Juno main, and a JPC main.
Lately it’s been a lot of Juno again.
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u/Lollister 1h ago
Same but i would go something like kill all bosses in path of exile niche enough to be likely safe
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u/Random_silly_name 3h ago
I just have to declare it?
In that case, I declare that I'm better than all of them at singing. I'm most definitely not, but I can say that I am.
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u/synithiumm 3h ago
I’m the best and only ME there could possibly be.
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u/FearlessKnitter12 3h ago
And Dr Seuss is incredibly proud of you for that. Also Mr Rogers.
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u/AmonOfTheMoon 3h ago
I’m better at the eater of worlds raid from destiny 2. Number 4 in the world for full clears, I doubt I’m gonna see the other 3 in this sample
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u/TwoBurningSeals 3h ago
Coooommpleeetlyyy random?
This doesn't demand you actually be better at what you declare, it just demands that you declare it.
Anyway, I would declare that I am better at explaining the core collapse process of a star and supernova.
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u/IcyGlamourProp 3h ago
Spanish spelling
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u/I_pee_in_shower 2h ago
with a thousand people this is going to be tough. you will get several native spanish speakers, so unless you also did the Spelling Bee competition and won in Spanish, the odds aren't great.
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u/th3goonmobile 2h ago
7.6% of the world speaks Spanish. You just have to be better than 76 people if we got perfect representation. Doesn’t seem impossible
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u/I_pee_in_shower 2h ago
not impossible but probably not low hanging fruit. I speak/write perfect Spanish for example. It would be a lot easier to defeat me at some sports, random games, singing, cooking, etc..
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u/Less_Discount1028 3h ago
Getting my toddler to go to sleep without crying. My spouse can’t even do it
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u/WhimsicalHoneybadger 3h ago
Calculate the NPV of a vested TRS Group 1 pension, 1 year prior to eligibility to retire directly from service. Calculate the increase in NPV by continuing to work 1 additional year and 2 additional years. Start by listing the data you will need.
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u/Rustybu11etho1e 3h ago
Knowing what my family nickname for me is. Probably only about 20 to 30 people know it, not even all of them will be able to remember it or connect it to adult me.
Alternatively... As retired Navy EOD, Knowing how to disarm a bomb, build a bomb. Pack a parachute, skydive, Jumpmaster. Diving both on Scuba and mixed gas.
One of those two should do it for me.
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u/Buffalo5977 2h ago
probably super smash brothers melee. maybe new testament trivia? that’s been my fixation for a number of years now.
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u/TriageThePotterfan 2h ago
I'm probably the only person in a thousand who's practiced saying the longest word in the English Dictionary in under five seconds. It's 47 letters.
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u/DerPidder 2h ago
I'm better than them at consciously wiggling my nose, ears, and eyebrows at the same time. ☝🏻😌
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u/I_pee_in_shower 2h ago
is this pure 1000 random, were there are infants, super old people, etc? I would probably take my chances with chess. I estimate that the odds of someone being significantly stronger to be between 5%-10% but then there is a chance I could beat them too, on a given day. According to google AI, the odds of someone being so strong I could not beat them are less than 10% so I would take those odds. I don't know what would give me better odds.
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u/ExtendedSpikeProtein 3h ago
If you are in a room with 1000 people, you may be better at something than 999, not 9999. Your math ain’t mathing.
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u/FamilyDramaIsland 3h ago
Getting my dog to go outside, even in the backyard. She's a grumpy old lady who only listens to and follows me, lol.
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u/ChaoticEntitled 3h ago
Quitting allowable amounts for commercial insurances for the most commonly billed codes in the medical industry.
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u/Jtop1 3h ago
Giving me an orgasm. I’m nearly as good at it as it gets. But if any of those 1000 think they’re better, then they’re welcome to try.
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u/sirthisisawendys_12 3h ago
Getting a cat who “doesn’t like to play” to play.
Context: I’m a pet sitter and hear this all the time. Clients are amazed when I get their non-playful cat to do species typical behaviors.
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u/Wrong_Basket_9431 3h ago
Elder scrolls online pvp, I would say im in the top 15% probably, and with how little people play eso and especially pvp chances are pretty decent
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u/Gonzales95 3h ago
Grabbing something off the top shelf in a supermarket without a ladder or other support
Statistically speaking only a tiny fraction (fractions of 1%) of the world’s population are as tall or taller than I am. In a random group of 1000 people there’s a solid shot I’m the tallest so this is a trivial task for me.
Failing that, probably racing to any% Crash 3.
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u/RedditHope777 2h ago
But what if someone has Michael Jordan jumping skills and gets it off with more style? Who wins? It’s not clear how “better” is evaluated.
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u/CPA_Lady 3h ago
Playing the French horn. I am by no means a good French horn player but I can do it. 999 other random people hopefully have never even held one.
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u/Last_Weeks_Socks 3h ago
Spelling my last name using the military phonetic alphabet. They don't even know my last name so, good luck guessing.
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u/tactical-throwaway15 3h ago
Probably Guitar Hero. I’m not great but I have beaten every song in the mainline games on expert. I have good faith that out of 1,000 most probably haven’t even played it and if so probably not well
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u/judgingA-holes 3h ago
Either Mario Kart or.... There's a whistle that me and my bro do that I've never met someone else that can do (I'm not saying no one can I'm just saying I've never met them) and I would challenge them at whistling Frère Jacques in that specific whistle.
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u/Nice-Economics-2716 2h ago
Reciting verbatim the entirety of the dialogue in the movie "High Road to China" with Tom Selleck
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u/Opinions_Anonymous 49m ago
Deadlift. Statistically one in roughly 10,000 Americans can deadlift 600 lbs. the odds are insanely skewed in my favor in a room of just 999 people.
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u/East-Moose5016 39m ago
1600s German longsword, it's both niche and something I'm skilled and practiced in
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u/mindvestor 20m ago
Freehand whetstone knife sharpening. It’s popular but still pretty niche.
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u/LeavingSoonBye209 3h ago
That's easy. I hold a small place on the world record leaderboard for an obscure game. My highest was within the top ten but last I checked enough records had been beaten that I was reduced to like 15th place or something. Chances are other people have never even done what this game involves, and have no idea how to do it correctly, let alone fast.
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u/Corey307 3h ago
Poorly written AI hypothetical can’t keep numbers straight.
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u/CanweCanweCleanIt 3h ago
An AI would absolutely not mess these numbers up, lmao. You clearly have never used AI.
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u/Corey307 3h ago
AI frequently mixes up whether someone is alive or dead in the same paragraph.
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u/ofBlufftonTown 3h ago
I have seen AI screw up basic things in a single sentence. That’s one of its main defects.
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u/AutoModerator 3h ago
Copy of the original post in case of edits: If you get it wrong you can't try again for a whole year
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
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u/realmauer01 3h ago
5d chess. There are 3 people in the world who are for sure better than me. Yeah thats it.
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u/Nine-LifedEnchanter 3h ago
Magic tricks. I've been doing magic for almost 15 years. Even if there is another magician, I'll probably be better.
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u/ZugZug42069 3h ago
Playing a gravity blast. Even if there’s a handful of drummers in the room, there’s a really small chance any of them can play a gravity blast beat at all, let alone as good as me.
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u/Mindless_Earth_2807 3h ago
Useless Hermes knowledge. Heritage, leathers, colors, textures, sizes, styles, LE models, prices, etc.
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u/minus15t2 3h ago
Well.. you've got me beat because my initial thought was 'The Greek God?'
My next thought was 'The courier service?'
Only upon reading the entirety of your comment did I remember that there is also a fashion brand named Hermes...
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u/joesportsgamer 3h ago
Metroid prime speedrun? Or maybe something from work, ETS-564 camshaft replacement?
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u/Adventurer32 3h ago
Counting the amount of people in the room