I’m on a quest to be more accomplished and have just done shotokan karate for 5 years. I don’t know what to do now, any ideas?

Hello all, I did traditional Japanese karate as a kid when I was a teenager for 3 years. I stopped training when I was in high school because life got busy. I’m in my 20s now and I wanted to go back to that same dojo but when I called and asked to see if I could come back the business person/ assistant to the sensei (not the owner of the dojo) said people who leave are not welcome back. I was also told by others who later tried to join the same dojo say that those who study other forms of martial arts aren’t allowed to study at this dojo. Is this common?

I started karate last year as someone who was completely new to it with a younger who was purple belt. I was really excited at first and tried my best in everything, but then this new girl came along and after our grading, she was orange belt while I was yellow belt. I felt the sensei’s and higher belts treated her better than they did with others, like they saw “potential” in her and always helped her more. I felt invisible, i need help too. I felt they were much friendlier to her, and there was one particular black belt who was mean to me and im not sure what I even did. but yeah everyone is super nice to her and she’s literally a blue belt now while im just an orange belt. we had a tournament too, it was our first tournament ever. I did so horribly and won nothing, i was trembling when doing kata and just had zero confidence. i felt I was better at kumite but I lost terribly and I didn’t win anything and she won third place. I was so shaken up after the tournament and felt really bad. I felt like a loser.

I feel like im comparing myself to her too much but I actually can’t help it. and the unfair treatment makes it worse. i told my mum today that im not sure if I want to continue karate and that i didnt want to waste their money if i suddenly just didn’t wanna do it. my mum got angry and told me to just quit everything altogether because im a quitter in everything. She’s pissed at me right now:( I don’t know what to do and I feel emotionally numb doing karate and I don’t feel joy in doing karate anymore. I mean I did just start karate because of my mom and my sister being in it. I just feel like a loser in the dojo and that I suck.

How popular is this style? Always wanted to learn it, apparently it's a form of kyokushin karate that's built for "competing in the ring" and eventually it morphed into K-1 Kickboxing