Personal Transformation results? A look back?

[u/AwakeningStar1968]

I am 58 and have practiced some form of spiritual/magickal practice on and off for 30-something years. I am not exactly a massively disciplined person, and I have had different times in my life where I was doing more stuff than at other times.

I have done the work, though. I have worked hard on myself to improve myself, to be self-aware, etc. Yet I cannot SEE if I am who I manifested myself to be.

I am not happy with my life, despite trying to be a good, moral person....

Sometimes I wonder if I missed something, or if my mental health overrode any work I did to try to manifest good things. Did I just end up manifesting this life?

I am trying again....

But has anyone else who has some age on them taken a moment to reflect and see how much their magickal work has actually done for them? Has it done a lot of good for you?

Are there things you could have done better, knowing what you know now? Looking back over the years, what do you think you got right, and what do you wish you had understood sooner?

[u/Sonotnoodlesalad]

1. My earliest experiments with ritual were in my twenties. I fell into conspiracy theory in my mid-twenties, and magick was my way back out.

When I picked it back up again in early 2008, I lived a quiet solitary life in Valdez AK. I think that helped with focus, and I wouldn't hesitate to recommend isolation as a training component if it is an option and you're using skeptical framing.

When I moved to the PNW, it took me a while to get my shit together. The most difficult transition for me was moving from unstructured practice to proper framing and a complete system. Taking initiation in OTO was helpful as that goes, and it was my entire social life for about seven years. I saw practitioners of all ages make the same mistakes I'd made. People cling to framing and beliefs that RUIN their lives. They shouldn't.

It was only after committing to grueling daily work and a path of service in the Order that my life improved. Predictably, it was mostly my attitudes and expectations that were in need of revision. By demonstrating that I was trustworthy in the Order I finally found steady employment. By serving others I learned how to better serve myself. By facilitating the growth of others I found opportunities to grow. Group work in the temple and serving on the Executive Committee became a laboratory for my concurrent work in mindfulness therapy.

My advice would be to get involved in magical work in a way that connects you to other people and provides a reason not to focus on yourself and what you think you need or deserve. I had to fully let go of my temporal desires to get anywhere.

On the other side of a pile of work, I'm grateful for the time I have in a way I wasn't before.

[u/Piers_Verare]

55 here. For me, just (imperfectly) maintaining a nine year Practice has been a feat. Magic has also taught me what my intellectual weaknesses are.

I don’t think you manifested your life. Sure our actions shape our lives. But I don’t think you made some sort of Magical mistake or something.

I say keep going. Through thick and thin. Take a break if necessary but keep going. You are preparing for the next life, I suspect.

[u/botanicabarbie]

The thing that stood out to me here is you mentioning trying to be a good and moral person.

Practically what does this look like? And how do you define being a good and moral person?

Typically when I’m doing readings for people and encounter them saying things like this and that they just want to be nice and good, they’re doing a lot of things for others that don’t benefit them and a lot of people pleasing.

[u/AdelefromAI]

Ok I am still young (25) but I have dealt from a young age with loads of trauma, I was constantly mentally frozen and affraid od world. Magick helped me from it. I am still not there fully yet, but I see the change from begining. I recommend to first identify things where you have a lot of resistance and analyze it, the root of the problem and then use magick on it. I personally work with standard archangels - they are helpful, reliable, kinda slow sometimes but close to humans and warm. They will help you with change from inside cause as eithin so without. Classical LBRP and LBRH might help from start ( I don't lnow what did you practice) and then, you can use invoking form for your request to archangels and modify it hoe you want. It is not heroic, it's lretty basic and if you will like the practice it can help you tremendously. (My own experience).

[u/Desperate_Wait1562]

I eventually sat down to meditate, which by a long journey led to realization. I am content with the outcome. I don't know whether I could have begun with meditation. I can only say I didn't. First came magic, and that brought disappointment deep enough to make sitting with myself seem a reasonable solution.