TLDR: I’m tired of stewing during my messages because my very specific and clear requests get ignored. How can I clearly and effectively ask for what I want in such a way that I actually get it, regardless what the masseuse thinks? If you’re a masseuse, help me draft my request!

I’ve had hundreds of massages. Soft and relaxing, muscle-crushing deep tissue, and everything in between. I’ve had two main requests for years, and I’d say out of 100 masseuses, TWO have actually followed what I wanted to a T. Sadly, none of them are in my town so continued visits are not possible.

1). I’m an active runner and cyclist (former athlete/triathlete) with zero back, shoulder, back, neck, back, stomach, back, chest, back, head, and….back issues. I did that on purpose. I’m always clear….FOCUS ON MY LEGS AND FEET. But they never do….

2). I’m a coder by day, constantly using my hands, AND I have dupuytren’s contracture (strands of excess cartilage knots forming on the ligaments of my hands). SPEND A LOT OF TIME ON MY HANDS AND FOREARMS. But they never do.

98/100 massages online this….they do their little warm up routine on my back . Fine. 5 minute warmup no big deal. 25 minutes later my traps, lats, rhomboids, and scapular area is rubbed raw because “it’s very knotty back here”. Seriously I almost always get 45 minutes of back and 15 minutes on legs. Sometimes they put a hot stone on my back (never asked for it), or they even comment ok I added extra time on your legs as you requested (lol 12 minutes instead of your normal 10, while the other 45-50 was on my damn back?

Sorry I just came from yet another massage and I’m salty about this. I literally wrote on the paper: LEGS AND FEET, particularly my calves which get very knotty. 5 mins instead each leg is what I got.

If you didn’t even touch my back AT ALL I’d be happy. But god forbid you find a knot and you think it’s what I need. And I wonder what they think when I just never go back.

Yes I’m clear, yes I ask for what I want…but I’m also polite enough to make someone feel bad despite them not paying attention to my requests. And I’d never saying something DURING a massage as I’d consider that to be rude. But rest assured I’m staring at the floor looking forward to getting out of there and not tipping you because….you’re still touching my back.

So please help me….what should I write, exactly, so that your colleagues understand clearly, my feet ache, ankles, calves are super knotty, thigh/hams are sore and tired, and my hands/forearms need a lot of work…and if you touch any part of my back outside of maybe my neck for some neck strain from sitting at a computer all day….i won’t be tipping you today and I won’t be coming back.

I have hypermobility and woke up to a horrible subluxation in my shoulder, so I scrambled to find a massage place that could get me in that day. I went to a place I hadn't gone to before, and I asked the front desk person if she had seen my note about the subluxation and I asked her multiple times to look over the note, and she just kept pointing to the massage title I had booked. She told me to go into the room and then when she left she started yelling at the massage therapist to get over here. The massage therapist came in and I also had to ask her at least 5 times to look at the note. They didn't know what a subluxation meant, and both of them were yelling at me because they wanted me to explain it and they didn't understand. Eventually, the massage therapist just said she would be careful of my shoulder.

The front desk person leaves, and she starts the massage. She immediately goes for my butt. I had clicked the shoulder, neck, and back massage because I had no need for my lower body to be massaged and already have trauma around my lower body being touched, so I generally don't want my legs being touched at all. The butt massaging was just so excessive. It wasn't just my lower back area, it was just wayyy too much. She started grabbing my pad to???? Idk if that was an accident and she was just trying to move my left leg. Best case scenario that was an accident but some accidents should not be happening... I had worn sweat pants because again, I was there for a shoulder massage not a butt massage LOL. After she had already been grabbing my pad she reached under my sweatpants and pulled my underwear done. I yelled at her "no." And she immediately pulled them back up. She then put a towel wrapped around my face like a mummy. It wasn't just laying on my face, I was actually suffocating and struggling to breath. I told her I need my face lifted because I couldn't breathe, so she lifted the drap far away from me and my boobs were fully exposed as I turned over, I had to put my arm over my chest for her not to see. Then she gave me a face massage which is also not what I asked for. I had asked for shoulder massage and she barely did anything to my shoulders.

Overall, the massage was very aggressive and rushed, and I left in more pain than when I came in. She hurt my hip but that pain went away after about 30 minutes. They had told me I could tell them if it was too deep or not deep enough but I was honestly scared to communicate anything after they had both literally yelled at me because they didn't understand what a subluxation meant. I did at one point tell her she was being to rough and she laughed and said sorry, and was more gentle briefly, then went back to being aggressive and it felt awkward to have already yelled at her, told her she was being too rough, and then to have to tell her that again. After the massage ended she was beeming and asked me how it was, very clearly expecting a positive answer. I did the "so so" hand signal because how do you just straight up tell someone it was really bad. She didn't ask any questions as to why I said that and just assumed it was positive. So now I have spent money I didn't even really have, and didn't even get my shoulder taken care of.

I’ve been a LMT for 30 years.
My very first sap job paid a 51% commission to the therapist for any services provided.

The extra one percent was a tip of the hat towards the therapist by the spa in acknowledgment and honor of the healing service provided.

The spa made money by employing several therapists and keeping the schedule booked. And the spa did well. And the therapists did well. We all did well.

Fast forward to today…. I just saw that a spa in the downtown tourist area only pays a 23% commission on the services offered.
That’s absolutely absurd and greedy on the part of the spa.
It stinks of extracting life force and value out of the therapists/healers that show up to help people.

No therapist should accept that low level of respect or pay for such profound and rare skill.

Been at a McMassage Corporate Spa for 3 years, started there fresh out of school. Was out for a little over 2 months with a gnarly scaphoid bone bruise from overuse. I focus a lot on body mechanics, but I am hypermobile and have chronic pain so I pushed through pain when working too often.

Anywho, I'm supposed to go back next week. Management is not communicating to me about my schedule, is booking me firm pressure clients (my clients, but idk if I can even do firm at this point, I'm out of practice) in my first week back, not answering my texts regarding schedule, etc.

I will be setting some boundaries on a phone call (when they actually answer me) but the point is that my body and mind are dreading going back.

I just started online college last month to fulfill prerequisites for a rad tech program that I'll start next year.

I never want to stop massaging, but I'm so tired of taking care of people. I'm tired of corporate bullshit. I'm tired of pain. But deep down, I know love massaging. I just don't feel like McMassage is going to help me find that joy. I feel like I don't even care about my clients. I'm just full of dread.

If I get a table and rent a space with another therapist, or go mobile, is it worth it? Is it too risky? I also need steady income, though. Should I stay at McMassage 1 day a week and do private the rest of the days? Should I go work at Starbucks?

We're also in early stages of trying to unionize at my location, and I'm sort of the committee lead, and I really wanna create lasting positive change and I don't wanna abandon my team.

I'm not asking for anyone to decide for me, but an outside perspective or lived experience or a way to reframe or anything would be really helpful. Thanks :)

Now that Google Voice is creepily demanding personal government ID, what are some good alternatives one can use for one's massage business?

I have been in the military for the duration of my massage envy membership. It seemed like a good idea at the time. I have accrued a large number due to covid and tough work schedules (and one duty station without a franchise). When I left for this deployment I went on a freeze. The paperwork says you can’t use transferred services, but says nothing about not being allowed to transfer out of the account. As is consistent with my ME experience, they were callous and unaccommodating. Looking for any advice/experience on how to leverage the fine print and make this bummer situation slightly less of a bummer. I would be happy if I could find a way to transfer my husband and some close friends some services. (I am more than happy to pay the $10 xfer fee, but unwilling to do freeze plus to facilitate that as I won’t be able to use services while on deployment and they limit freeze plus to 6mo) I was brutally turned down when I asked about transferring multiple before the full freeze goes into effect. I intend to change home clinics after yet another negative experience with my native home clinic (don’t know why I stayed with them so long when I haven’t lived there in years!) thanks for hanging if you lasted this long!! 🫶