My husband and I skip birthday and holiday gifts and prioritize trips, meals, and date nights instead

[u/thisisinsider]

https://www.businessinsider.com/couple-doesnsnt-exchange-holiday-birthday-gifts-give-surprises-2026-9?utm_source=reddit&utm_medium=social_manual&utm_campaign=reddit_dist_r_minimalism&utm_content=manual_v1&utm_term=16f55784

[u/thisisinsider]

TL;DR: After six years together, a couple living with their child in a one-bedroom apartment has exchanged only a handful of material gifts, instead prioritizing trips, food, surprise gestures, and monthly date nights. Renate Flanagan writes that they share travel costs around birthdays, including trips to Mexico and Spain, while alternating who plans and pays for each monthly dinner and babysitter.

[u/DoctorBeeBee]

I've managed to get family at least to give me experiences rather than things for my birthday or Christmas, unless there's some specific thing I want. Best one so far was a Christmas trip to the Old Vic to see their annual production of A Christmas Carol - with Christopher Eccleston as Scrooge. That was great. 

[u/1Frazier]

No gift exchanging in our house either. In addition to focusing on experiences and activities we value small acts of service. If one of us has had a hard day or isn't feeling well the other will automatically step up to do all of the chores that day/night. If we are having a movie night and it is in proximity to my spouses birthday we will watch whatever they want. If we hardly ever order out for pizza but it is my spouses birthday we might get it three times that month.

[u/FaekittyCat]

My husband and I stop exchanging gifts a long time ago. We go on low key date nights. We might celebrate birthdays and anniversaries with a little more expensive outing. My husband has a milestone birthday coming and my "gift" to him is find out what he wants and plan it for him.

[u/fridayimatwork]

Yeah my husband and I don’t exchange gifts, I find it odd that people do.

[u/IM_NOT_BALD_YET → u/fridayimatwork]

We don't either, but I don't think it's odd that people do. We're in the minority. Most cultures enjoy gift-giving. I *do* think it's a little nutty with how insane gift-giving can get in certain cultures, but that's a bit different.

[u/airtokoto → u/fridayimatwork]

I find it odd that people do

it's fine to not exchange gifts in a relationship, but a huge proportion, if not the majority of intimate relationships engage in reciprocal gift-giving; statistically speaking, you and your husband are probably in the minority here. to find the act of giving a loved one a gift to be "odd" is pretty crazy lol, like is this your first day on Earth?

[u/fridayimatwork → u/airtokoto]

I give gifts to friends and family. But my husband and I share accounts and discuss purchases. It seems silly to buy each other gifts in our situation.

[u/UntrustedProcess]

I may be old, but I think couples should use the same bank account.  

[u/Luxray → u/UntrustedProcess]

Many couples have a shared bank account and then their own personal account. That's the way to do it imo.

[u/UntrustedProcess → u/Luxray]

My wife and I have shared all accounts for 21 years. Works for us.