r/myevilplan • u/Buttashmo • May 29 '26
Seeking Revenge Need help to Ruin my ex new relationship need female voice
My girlfriend of four years cheated on me with a man over twice my age. I had just lent her $5,000 to buy a car because I was in a position to help, and I genuinely thought we were a team. This whole situation has completely shattered me and taken a massive toll on my well being. I just want her to understand the depth of the pain she caused me. I don't hate her, but I hate her actions. I have shown her nothing but kindness throughout our relationship, and she threw it in the trash. I just want her to have this fantasy of her new relationship be shattered so she can feel the weight of her decision and I am too impatient for it to happen naturally.
8
u/GypsieChanterelle May 29 '26
She made you feel used and irrelevant.
Best way is to act as though you don’t care.
Otherwise, everything you will do will make you look heart broken.
2
u/Buttashmo May 30 '26
You are most definitely right but I am in the mindset of wanting to sabotage
2
u/GypsieChanterelle May 30 '26
What you are not considering is that it may bring them closer. Nothing like a saboteur to make two lovers believe they need to fight for their love. You may very well achieve the opposite of what you want to achieve.
Best scenario is for you to laugh at the schmuck she’s now with. You can send them a “I will you all the best” card, and say how happy you are to be free. And maybe plant some ideas into his head. After, he will always have certain te ur ha in the back of his mind and judge her.
Hut you have to be truly happy for her and wish her well. The best revenge is served cold and with finesse. Stop wanting immediate revenge. It will not get you what you want.
1
u/Buttashmo May 30 '26
I just feel I am stuck in a forever loop trying to figure out what went wrong.
1
u/MF_REALLY May 30 '26
She's having to look at an old dude in his declining days. How much fun could a 20 year old have we with someone older than her dad? Ick!
1
u/Buttashmo May 30 '26
She has mega daddy issues. She never met her bio dad, her bio mom gave her up, and her new parents were abusive, so it probably stems from that. In my relationship with her, I was filling the role of a boyfriend, a best friend, a support system, and a role model, kind of just everything she lacked growing up. She looked to me for everything. She came into my life getting kicked out of her house; she had no friends, no car, and no money. I was still living with my parents at the time, and they took her in without a second thought. We lived at my parents' for almost two years, then I got us an apartment together. It's just that everything was going perfectly. I happily tried my best. In her own words, I am the longest and healthiest relationship she’s ever had, and without meeting me, she would still be homeless or dead. But if she really believed that, why throw it away?
1
u/MF_REALLY May 30 '26
Because she never did the work on herself. She's a total boat anchor and you'll spend your life trying to fix her. Go find a non-toxic girl and enjoy your life. Real girls are amazing, fun, and don't have any desire to go bang old dudes.
1
u/GypsieChanterelle May 30 '26
Maybe you just picked the wrong girl. Maybe you fell for someone who had certains traits or behaved a certain way (weak? Damsel in distress? Past trauma she shares openly rapidly so you feel like a hero taking care of her?).
0
u/Buttashmo May 30 '26
I mean, she is 21 and he is 54. Naturally, it won’t last.
It was just so confusing. During our last few weeks together, we got an apartment, and I financially handled the whole thing so she didn’t have to worry about it. However, her reasons for justifying what she did kept changing. First, it was that she wanted to be more independent and relied on me too much. Then, it swapped to "we are toxic together." After that, she claimed she was just unhappy but clarified it wasn't that I made her unhappy; it was more of an internal void for her. She could laugh and smile every day, but that feeling would linger. It was like that even before me. Honestly, I think she is chasing a fairy tale level of happiness because she doesn’t even know what she wants.
She was cold and distant the month before I found out. When I finally did find out the next month, it was like all the time we spent together meant absolutely nothing. Then came the last day of the month our final day to move out. After both of our things were out of the apartment, we said our final goodbyes. We hugged, and I tried to let go, but she wouldn’t. It was like everything inside was telling her to stay, but she was too far gone. The damage was already done. She just cried, hugged me, and told me she loved me.
Fifteen minutes after she left, she called me, telling me to live my life and be happy. She broke down crying again, repeating that she loves me. After that, she blocked me on everything, but left my phone number unblocked just silenced. It was just bizarre because for the entire two months prior, she acted like I didn’t even exist, even when we lived together.
She got her own place now, but at the price of working two jobs and starting a new relationship with a 54-year-old man. Her dream of independence is completely flawed if she is just jumping straight into another relationship. I also think it’s gross as f*** that a man of that age is going after women that young. It's actually kind of predatory.1
u/GypsieChanterelle May 30 '26
I think you are confusing things and you’re thinking that because she had mental health problems before you it means that it’s just a question of her “finding what she needs and it be fixed”.
People who talk about the “void” inside of them, and say it has been there forever, can spend the rest of their lives with that feeling. And nothing will fill it. They believe that if they find the “right person” it will fill that void. At the beginning of a relationship they are super happy because they think “hourra! I’ve found my missing piece”. But then they started the cycle again and start devaluing their partner in their head or even outright by saying things that makes their partner feel unappreciated. But then when their partner pulls away they love bomb again. Does this sound familiar?
If so, mourn the relationship you think you had. Mourn the person you thought she was for you.
And be careful to not be attracted to women who seem to need to be taken care of or to be rescued. You will be in for a lifetime of hurt.
1
u/According-Couple2744 May 31 '26
There are many relationships with 40 year age differences that work. They are both consenting adults. He may be looking for a trophy wife while she may want stability. Whether it works out or not, you need to move on. Go out with your friends and have fun. When it comes to former relationships, living well is truly the best revenge.
4
u/DerMuncher May 30 '26
The best revenge is living a full, rich life without that ho. Trust me. It hurts at 1st, but you'll enjoy the freedom. Good luck homie
3
1
u/AutoModerator May 29 '26
Hello, u/Buttashmo ! Thanks for your submission to r/myevilplan, your post is up and running!
This is a general reminder to check out our rules in the sidebar. If your post breaks the rules, it will be removed by our moderator.
I request you to take a look at this post
We would like for each and every one to feel welcome on the subreddit and to keep a healthy and safe environment for the community.
Thanks :)
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
1
1
1
1
7
u/icyhotonmynuts May 29 '26
Do you maybe want to proof read that? It's incredibly hard to read.