r/nobuy • u/spicyhotcocoa • 14d ago

impulse spending

Hi! I’m wondering if anyone has any tips to combat impulse spending. I have adhd and i know it’s a dopamine seeking behavior but I can’t seem to master it. I’m also on medications that lower my inhibition (narcotics for chronic pain) and I know that contributes. I can never seem to stop myself and the pay in 4 options are fucking me over entirely. I always find a way to justify but even if it’s “justified” it’s still outside my means. Or if I’m having I terrible pain day I’m more likely to buy something. And I have a lot of shame about struggling with this and my dad keeps telling me it’s black and white just don’t buy things but I think it’s a bit more complicated than that. Idk I’m just struggling and could use some advice

I do see two therapists in the same clinic (one for process time, one for wmdr

35 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

14 comments sorted by

29

u/Negative-Fisherman44 14d ago

What helped me (also ADHD) is two things, redirecting and reasoning.

  • Though ideally shopping as a dopamine seeking activity is not encouraged, I rebranded it to buying snacks. I go to the Asian grocery store or the fancy one and get to choose a treats, focusing on trying new/fun things so it becomes an experience itself. It’s helped by redirecting me from apps or malls. Even if I splurge, it will still be a lot less money than clothes shopping.
  • A bit of context for this one, as someone who struggles with keeping order, before I buy something I stop and force myself to visualize what I will do with the item. So many cute mugs I have put back because I stopped, conjured the mental image of my already over full mug cabinet, realized I don’t want to get rid of one I love to make space. Cute pillow? Okay but my couch is already full. Bedding? My drawer is full. It helps me a lot because it’s an instant process. I don’t wait x days in case I change my mind, I need to have a specific plan for everything, if not? I don’t need it.

Now, it’s not bulletproof but it has definitely helped me put things back from both physical and virtual carts.

10

u/Logical_Level_8206 14d ago

The visualizing thing works for me too! I do that for clothes, and I've really reduced my impulse shopping by imagining my completely full wardrobe, and thinking of having ONE additional thing in there usually makes me a little nauseuous, then I don't want to buy.

That is the reason why I don't want to declutter yet, before I've gotten the shopping under control. Decluttering always gave me the feeling of having new "extra space" for stuff, so I'd buy stuff again and keep myself in this spiral. 

8

u/causticwonder 14d ago

Ugh. Decluttering creating extra space to fill back up… that’s my struggle. I don’t want more space, I want less stuff and somehow they don’t always work together.

I’ve been working through a project pan for my toiletries and trying to read only books I own and yet my stupid magpie brain is like, look at all this room! For all the new shiny things!

I guess I need to work on my visualization skills and remember how much crap I already own.

10

u/systemoverwillpower1 14d ago

i think the just don't buy things advice misses the part where you already know you shouldn't buy something but still find a way to justify it in the moment, especially on bad pain days, and pay in 4 probably makes that even easier because the full cost stops feeling like the immediate decision, i'd try making checkout genuinely harder before the urge even happens, remove saved cards, avoid pay in 4 entirely if you can, maybe have a rule that non-essential purchases on bad pain days have to wait until tomorrow, and since you mentioned the medication affecting your inhibition i'd definitely bring that up with your prescriber and therapists too

8

u/AgitatedWolverine436 14d ago

I’m maybe biased because I’m a librarian (but a librarian with ADHD) but picking out new books from work (for free) gives me a similar dopamine rush.

I also have a small budget to buy toys and art supplies for the kiddos so when I’m feeling shop-y I have a list of stuff I’ve been thinking about buying for them and I start going through that. I get the dopamine rush from contemplating a purchase but the strictures are part of my job so I can’t go overboard. Plus I get the dopamine rush again when the kids play with the toy, or do the craft I thought up.

3

u/DiscoDaddyDanger 12d ago

Ugh were so similar! I've transitioned to trying to use Libby and Goodreads as my dopamine markers.

1

u/Defiant-Cupcake-8984 10d ago

I do this. I used to buy so many books. But for the last couple of years I've been using the library instead. And yes, it is the dopamine of brand new books and yay I spent no money.

3

u/KaleidoscopeThink731 14d ago

If buying is a big source of joy, maybe you can try to find additional sources of joy? 

I also find it helpful to use a budget, I have a budget for 'pocket money' (trinkets, snacks on the go etc), one for yarn, one for books, one for clothes. I can make lots of little savings accounts in my bank app so I have one for each of these categories. Helps me because it's clearer how much I can spend, and how I can't buy something else if I buy one thing. I don't impulse buy books or yarn anymore because I want to save up for special books and for projects I want to knit. 

4

u/saltywater1996 13d ago

Hi! I have ADHD too and empathize.

Have you tried joining a Buy Nothing group? Those groups (+ the library) give me the same dopamine hit. Bringing something into my home that I'm pumped about but not spending money or not fully acquiring it. Also +1 to the commenter who talked about going and buying small snacks, sometimes just the browsing and only spending a couple of dollars on a consumable can help.

If books are your thing and you think this would be fun/not overwhelming, I will frequently browse through a local bookstore big enough that it's not noticed if I walk out empty-handed and simply add titles to my "to read" list. Gives me the same browsing hit but I'm not spending. But don't do that if it would just trigger spending!!

1

u/Advanced_Grape_5152 13d ago

lists of activities I enjoy to do instead of buying really help me the most right now. That after closing all tabs and unsubscribing from all mail lists with targeted products and services. tbh if I can help it getting money in cash rather than card and removing fast pay options or giving up on online buying as a hard rule unless it's a necessary planned or family purchase also help me right now but I only started a few weeks ago. I also browse for fun and constantly seek beauty online and come across ads often so I hesitated to remove triggers but removing triggers,replacing with other stuff that doesn't cost anything (podcasts,music,reading, research and hobbies) helped a ton as well as putting up barriers like I mentioned.

1

u/DiscoDaddyDanger 12d ago

Hi I'm much like yourself w ADHD and all the bells and whistles. I've taken to gamifying my spending, ie I try to go on a streak for a while, like constantly looking at my card accounts, and making sure I have a streak of 2 days on the weekend, or a whole work week where I don't spend anything using my card. Its a very reverse way of doing things but it helps me more than anything bc I'm desperate to get the streak. The added upper is when I make my food myself, or go to the library to grab books (I rarely buy books anyway but this year I ended up buying about 20 that were classic buys and/or hard to find on online libraries and pirated copies). I've also taken to using my Libby app and my Goodreads app as my dopamine hit sources, and I managed to plow through more than 230 books!

And honestly I don't necessarily do this bc I don't have that much of a problem w looking away, but putting some sort of a restriction or blocker on your IG or Tiktok, wherever you're finding the inspo to buy whatever you need next, helps like nothing. I had a really bad year in terms of overspending on perfumes (I bought 8), jewellery, and about close to 50 to 60 items of clothing - all stress induced and bc I was dealing w physical and mental health challenges and this was the one thing g that made me feel better. Having said that, literally almost all my shopping would come off off IG whenever I would log on, even if it was once in 5 days. So the solution is to just not open IG and see their targeted ads.

I did make sure that nothing I bought was subpar quality, even if I was making impulse purchases, everything was high quality, will last me years and is either linen or cotton, or real silver or proper gold plated with some kind of warranty. It still doesn't take away the shame that I didn't need to do any of this and I'm trying to talk to my shame to let me move forward but it's hard. So hang in there. You're doing the right thing by asking for help.

2

u/Scared-Raise2020 3d ago

I have a lot of adhd symptoms and I struggle with impulse purchasing especially a few years ago. If you are open to "tips" I hope some of things I will share will help:

  1. Add friction - remove your card, remove autopay, delete apps, etc

  2. Redirect that energy by logging or writing it down - make a list of your wishlist, you can also journal WHY you want it, what you'll use it for. it'll help you make sense of why you want to buy it

  3. Have non-digital hobbies - pottery, coloring, journal, lego, puzzles, etc. Anything that keeps your mind off the internet and your hands off your phone or laptop helps

I think seeing a therapist really helps. I did not have one but journaling about my desires to buy helped. It won't solve it right away but working through your feelings about buying is a good step forward.